Quote :

"Sexy Topless Maid for hire.. IS this your fantasy? - w4m - 23 (raleigh) Reply to: pers-dmbrk-1227848792@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-18, 12:56PM EDT 23 yr old beautiful dd black woman looking for some household work ... i will clean your whole house topless for you NO S E X NO S E X This is entertainment for your eyes only while i provide a clean environment for you ..i am a very professional woman.. u can sit and watch me clean topless.. maybe sometimes i wear No panties.. But alwayz NO SEX..but feel free to choke your chicken at your own expense .. pricing starts 1bedroom apt/house - $75.00 2bed apt/ house - $115.00 3bed apt/house - $150.00 4bed & up - $60 pr hour This comes with traditional... window cleaning.. moping sweeping.. dusting.. bathrooms .. fixing beds.. kitchen cleaning.. etc i also do laundry $5 for every wash / ironing $20 pr hour / organizing closets $20 small closets ... $35 walk in's etc..and cooking $50 (comes with your host feeding and eating with u.. desert is alwayz on me -literally-)... Very great cook... and loves to prepare meals in the nude! U must love thick women!! 5'7 ... 200 pounds.. black and beautiful with 44dd breast! I am only taking 2 spots a day 10am thru 2 pm.. and 2pm thru 6pm If you want me for a whole day ( 10 am to 6pm )with all of the services ( maid work , ironing washing organizing and cooking.. there will be a one day fee of $350.00) u providing the food to cook. Serious inquiries only. I will come to you if you are in the raleigh area.if u are too far you will have to come for me but i will provide an extra job if you do SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLYYYYY!!!!!!!!! please no perverts just trying to get a wuick cum thru the internet this is a business im running and i would only like men that are interested in hiring me to contact me. email me with job needed ... day needed and also... what u would like me to wear.. or if you have something in store u want me to wear while i make your house wonderful for u while u watch my nice clean sexy thick body bend over and work... then u can provide the clothing for me. choices Blk tutu - net legging and pumps blk boy shorts silver pumps g string neck tie - blk pumps SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY SERIOUS iNQUIRIES ONLY PLEASE AND REMEMBER NO S E X .. SORRY GUYS. BUSINESS ONLY AND PLEASURE FOR THE EYES. ALSO NO PIC EXCHANGING THIS IS A JOB U NEED ME TO CLEAN I WILL COME AND U WONT BE DISSAPOINTED. "

6/18/2009 2:41:07 PM

Quote :

"To the fat jogger who spoke to me whilst my dog was taking a dump Date: 2009-05-12, 3:03PM PDT I applaud your willingness to talk to a dog-owner whose dog is taking a shit and question if they're going to pick it up as they walk away. However... My backstory is simply this. I had to park 3 blocks away from Cedric's bookstore since the closer spot I wanted I was nearly backed into whilst the car in front of me although already passed, decided to take it. Thus making me have to turn my car in reverse in about 2 seconds or else be hit. Needless to say I took my dog and walked her to the store since I didn't want to leave her there. So no I didn't have any paper/plastic bags on me as I was walking back to my car and my dog so delightfully decided to have a bowel movement right there. I know the poo was about the size of a dime, but props for still getting on my back about it. I told you I was going to get a bag. Your reply? "How do I know you're coming back?" To put it simply you don't. At least have the balls to back up something like that, I was gone for literally 20 seconds to get a bag and when I got back you were gone. So why even ask that if you're not even going to stay and make sure? Perhaps you should have followed me back to Cedric's as I got a bag and hunched down and watched me pick up my dog's excrement just to make sure. It would've at least added to your stalkerish demeanor. What I really wanted to say in reply was "how do I know you're going to lose weight?" For starters, I want to beg you on behalf on everyones' eyesight to wear a shirt that isn't 5 sizes too small for you; I was planning on grabbing lunch afterwards, but you pretty much altered that thought right out of my head as I felt gag reflexes emerging as I glanced at your overweight size in undersized clothing. Not to mention you're just plain fugly looking by anyones' and I mean ANYONES' standards. In truth we don't know each other, you don't know if I picked up my dog's crap, I don't know if you actually went jogging since I saw you walk by Cedric's, and stretch up against a wall on the other side. No actual jogging/speed-walking attempt was made. So I'm going to ask you nicely this once to not attempt to ruin a beautiful day for someone, especially as stranger unless you are planning on backing up your talk. If I ever see you again and you repeat this style of manner, I will slice the bacon off your back. Got it pudgy? Have a glorious day! "

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pdx/1167750729.html

Quote :

"To the Debt Collector Harrassing me at Work - w4m Date: 2009-05-07, 3:48PM EDT Your voice is quite charming in a sleazy, condescending, I-Get-Paid-To-Harrass-People kind of way. You must be so good with the ladies - I can picture you on a date, with that deep "I am full of self-importance" voice, asking her "So am I to file you under deadbeat mistress because you won't sleep with me after knowing me for an hour?" I am assuming you are either 1. Just out of college and eager to prove yourself by threatening a faceless person on the telephone, 2. A wannabe lawyer who is not smart enough to ever pass the BAR exam and therefore miserable in life, or 3. Someone who was picked on a lot in high school and believes this job is his calling to get revenge on all those bullies who made life a living hell. Ours is definitely a missed connection, because after the first threatening phone call, I instructed our receptionist to screen all calls from you. Sad, but where I work, as I informed you several times, I cannot continue to speak to you without raising my voice, and unfortunately I cannot tell you everything I really want to say, as I am in public and do not want my coworkers to hear the trash language I would use. You see, debt collector, my bills have always been paid on time. I am not a deadbeat, nor do I avoid paying my credit cards. But when you have a bank like Bank of America, who gets $20 billion dollars of US tax payers money, then turns around and changes credit card interest rates from 10% to 29.99% with no explanation, increases the monthly minimum amount due from $150 to $675 and turns your account over to a bottom feeder collection agency after two months because their customer could only pay $300 each of those months, there is a problem. And the problem does not lie with me. Like millions of other Americans who work hard every single day and are struggling, I am not rolling around on a pile of bailout money. I am not buying up other banks and then changing the credit card rules because I can. I am not an executive of Bank of America who lives in a $4 million mansion and flies to exotic places on a private jet while millions of people lose their homes and their lives. I am, in fact, a college-educated professional who is completely dumbfounded by the state of this country. In fact, I bet the money you say I owe that I am more educated, smarter and make more money than you. I simply don't make enough to pay you the thousands of dollars you claim I owe you today "or else". By the way - those fees and surcharges totalling more than $2000 that you tacked on to my Bank of America account balance is not going to fly. So here's what I shall do to ensure that we are not just another missed connection. The next time you call me at work, I will take you call. I will also record the call, since it is illegal for you to continue calling at my place of employment once I have requested that you stop. I will submit the tape to my attorney, along with my intent to sue you for harrassment, threats and stalking, along with emotional distress (I had to have two glasses of wine to calm my nerves after your call!) And then I will sit back with my family, relax and know that eventually, this matter will be settled and behind me, and I will continue my life of love and laughter. You, on the other hand, will still be at your dirty little desk, dressed in your dingy suit and tie, calling other "deadbeats" and lashing out at them because it makes your own pitiful little life seem less empty."

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pit/1159468030.html

[Edited on June 20, 2009 at 12:54 AM. Reason : another good one]

6/20/2009 12:47:42 AM

Quote :

"Skinny Guy With Big Dick (Eagles Video on Glenwood) Reply to: pers-5m26p-1230950410@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-20, 11:08AM EDT You were there around 8:30 Saturday morning. That was one of the biggest dicks I have ever seen in person......I Want to hook up with you outside of the bookstore!! You gave me a BJ and then you stuck that "weapon" through the hole. I was "floored" literally. You came twice and then bolted!! I want more...lol "

6/20/2009 12:39:29 PM

[link]http:// http://raleigh.craigslist.org/roo/1222062162.html[/link]

Quote :

"$400 Two Bedrooms for Rent in Country Home (East Wake County) Reply to: hous-8fawz-1222062162@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-15, 6:13AM EDT Two Bedrooms, furnishings neg. for rent, $400 each room per month, plus shared utilities, with a $400 deposit. One shared bath for these two bedrooms are in a 3000 sq ft home in the Wendell/Zebulon area. Convenient to Raleigh, Cary, Wake Forest, Wilson, Rocky Mount and Smithfield/Selma. Renters would have access to the den, kitchen and laundry rooms. There is also a home gym machine, a pool table and wireless DSL internet in the home. Available now. I'm a 50 yr old professional male, easy going non smoker, no pets, no drugs, very light social drinker, a bit of a nudist and prefer renting to a male ( str8, gay or bi ) that is like minded. I do not wish to have a partier , heavy drinker , or a drug user in my home. I'm looking a professional male that is settled , responsible and honest who is looking for a place to call home. The home is clean and organized and you will be expected to do your part in keeping it that way. "

6/21/2009 1:17:45 AM

Quote :

"Wanted! You to read! (NC) Reply to: sale-jvurc-1235309405@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-23, 8:54AM EDT I just posted a blog at www.[youareoutofyourgoddamnmindlady].blogspot.com I would like to get some readers. I am a mom of 6 and want to start posting weekly about exciting events that take place at our house!! Please read! "

mommyplz

6/23/2009 11:40:24 AM

Quote :

"Need Van - $1000 (Clayton) Reply to: sale-mjcar-1236682436@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-23, 10:21PM EDT Hi, I am looking for a van for my family of 5 children, my wife and myself. Due to the economy as it is, I have found myself out of work and now (due to a bad transmission) without a vehicle. You could say we are pretty much stranded. I cannot afford to replace my transmission as I only have $1000.00 left to my name, which was really for my rent next month. I do not know if anyone will read this, or care, but I am simply asking that if someone has a "dependable" passenger van for sale that is $1000 or less to please contact me. I have no way to go and look at it. We are a Christian family and pray daily for a miracle in our time of need. I am an excellent painter and carpenter with all my tools and would be more than happy to trade my services as well. Thank You and God Bless You! "

We can go two ways with this:
1) You think your religion makes your need more pressing than the needs of other

or

2) You hope that someone will think 'oh, they're christian and they need something! Why, let me help my brethren!' Never mind that the whole proselytizing thing that christians are supposed to do would indicate that your religious cohorts not help you, because you don't need converting.

So either
A) you recognize that you're asking others to controvert the goals of your shared faith, and just don't care
B) you don't really need that van

6/23/2009 10:34:13 PM

dont you know christians deserve the best

6/23/2009 10:36:52 PM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/mis/1235596369.html

Quote :

"TEA THROWN ON MUSTANG AT COOKOUT IN ROXBORO - w4m - 22 (Roxboro) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reply to: pers-mqqag-1235596369@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-23, 11:53AM EDT Your a punk ass bitch!!, By the way the cops didn't catch us!! Nice mustang though!! "

OH FUCK! ITS ON!

6/24/2009 1:33:34 AM

^ Roxboro? Really...

Damn.

6/24/2009 1:57:02 AM

^^ i'm sure i'm related to both the tea thrower and the mustang driver.

6/24/2009 9:38:50 AM

I think I might actually respond to this one. I did respond to this one.

Quote :

"I want my MBA Reply to: sale-tt5r9-1237984622@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-24, 5:27PM EDT Does anyone know where I can get a MBA degree from an accreditated university/college and it be earned in 36 semester credit hours. Can anyone help? "

Quote :

"Iphone 3G NEEDED (Cary, NC) Reply to: sale-xtvdb-1237892003@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-24, 4:39PM EDT I need an iphone as soon as possible. I have my sim card, I am extending my contract, and I do not want to get the iphone from apple because I want to keep my sim card for specific reasons. Please contact me as soon as possible. I would like a 16 gb, but if you can satisfy me with a decent price i will go with 8 gb. "

It's been a long time since I had a phone that took a sim card, so tell me if I'm wrong, they can get a phone from the store and keep their sim card, right?

[Edited on June 24, 2009 at 5:46 PM. Reason : alsdkjf]

6/24/2009 5:42:33 PM

For the MBA one, I sent this email:

Quote :

"http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&num=30&q=MBA&aq=f&oq=&aqi=g10 -or- You think you can get an MBA when you're too lazy or stupid to use google?"

And got this back 4 minutes later:

Quote :

"Look you asshole! I am neither stupid nor lazy and I do know how to use Google. I simply asked a question which did not require such a response. But since you want to go there we can. Who pissed in your cornflakes? Or are you such a frustrated bitch and taking your frustration out on other people. Get laid or something. You need a vacation!"

Then he sent another:

Quote :

"Thank you for the information even though you were an ASSHOLE about. "

...I sent SO. MUCH. information!

6/24/2009 8:36:35 PM

Quote :

"I am looking for a graphic artist to draw some designs for a t-shirt business I am starting. God gave me the pictures in my head, alas, I can not draw. The catch to this is I am just starting out and I do not have a lot of money to pay. The most I can pay an artist is $25 to $50 bucks per sketch . The more the business grows the more I can pay. All I need from the artist is their talent for bringing to life the pictures God placed in my head. You will be given partial creative credit, but I keep the copy write. If you are interested in coming aboard a business that is not money driven but driven by the heart, please contact me. If you are all about the money, there is no need to reply. I welcome students that maintains good grades and ex-cons that have turned their lives around. * Location: Raleigh, Durham, "

6/24/2009 11:38:23 PM

^ahahahaha

6/25/2009 7:57:51 AM

Quote :

"Quality Stuff (Brier Creek.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reply to: sale-yjchq-1239039472@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-25, 11:50AM EDT Free 25 inch tv with remote. Works fine. Free never before used portable grill. Never before used waffle maker. Free coffee pot. Also, mini hand held vacuum cleaner. This is a real ad. I would like to have this done before 2:30pm. Thanks. Charel "

6/25/2009 1:16:15 PM

uh

ok?

[Edited on June 25, 2009 at 1:22 PM. Reason : i bet he just clicked the wrong pic lol]

6/25/2009 1:21:38 PM

yea i know i just thought it was funny

6/25/2009 1:23:23 PM

Sounds like he's getting rid of someone else's stuff

6/25/2009 5:11:33 PM

ahahahahaha love the tv ad with the wrong pic

6/25/2009 5:17:41 PM

Quote :

"Selling Michael Jackson Concert Tickets - No Longer Needed - £40 (O2 Arena) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reply to: sale-pyb7a-1239797384@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-25, 11:47PM BST Selling 4 tickets to the July 13th Michael Jackson concert at the O2 arena. Will sell all 4 tickets for £10 a piece. WHAT A STEAL! Tickets are for pick up only. PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY NEWS PRIOR TO GIVING ME MY MONEY. Thanks, God Bless! Location: O2 Arena it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests "

6/26/2009 12:48:27 PM

Quote :

"Need size 40 Formal Dress - $20 (Raleigh/Durham) Reply to: sale-kxdpk-1242410720@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-27, 12:38PM EDT In search of a size 40 Formal Dress. I need to have this dress by July 13th if possible. Thank you "

To put this in context, http://www.roamans.com/Default.aspx goes up to 44W. If you have ever wondered where the muumuu/housebound fatties/so-fat-can-barely-breathe-on-one's-own crowd buys clothing, I *THINK* this is one such retailer.

I've tried google to find a picture of a size 40 woman, but I can't

I'm trying to think of who might be the fattest TWWer who has had a helpful picture posted on here, and me, skewfield, or ncsujamie are all that come to mind. A size 40W would still be larger than the three of us combined - I think.

A size 40 is 5X/6X. I'm not even a 2X. Anymore

[Edited on June 27, 2009 at 6:38 PM. Reason : fg]

6/27/2009 6:37:26 PM

this is the actual conversation i just had in gmail

"still have that xbox? and does it have xbmc?"
"xbmc? what that be?"
this is where i waste MY time explaining what xbmc is
"will you buy it if it doesn't have it"
"no id really rather it be modded already"
"gee thanks for wasting my time"
"anytime"

6/27/2009 8:53:32 PM

u mad?

6/27/2009 9:34:48 PM

^^ wow you are so bad ass you can't even type out an acronym

6/28/2009 8:22:08 AM

^^^ so why bother asking if it has xmbc? just ask "is it modded"

6/28/2009 1:07:24 PM

how are we supposed to know whos who in that convo

6/28/2009 1:22:59 PM

look for the part where there are not quotations and use context clues

6/28/2009 3:13:08 PM

Quote :

"SWF looking for funny/laid back guy - 23 (Durham) Reply to: pers-mjstn-1243473839@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-28, 8:14AM EDT 5'6'' 23 years old, single white female. In constant need of squishes and bail money. Looking for a partner in crime, that can pull a prank with a straight face, likes to play but will cuddle at the end of the day, will not ask me to pull his finger, has a job and car as to bail me out when needed...also helps if you have memory problems, as I will likely do stupid things that will require you never bring it up. EVER. ABOUT ME: I enjoy several different activities: reading, walking, biking, listening to music, etc. I'm an extremely eclectic person. I really enjoy staying home on a comfy couch and watching a good movie, but I also enjoy going out to see a good movie, or to a local ball game for a hot dog and coke. I'm a very optimistic and outgoing person, and generally, I live by Monty Python's motto... no one expects the Spanish inquisition. I love all different types of music. To give you an idea, my ipod has an album titled “The rage of 1710” next to the soundtrack of “Groundhog Day.” Playlists include Van Morrison and Bruce Hornsby. I don’t listen to country very much, if at all. However I’m not judgmental towards those who do, and I am willing to broaden my horizons for that special guy. Football is my favorite sport to watch on TV (as I side note, I am incandescently happy that Peppers has decided to grace the Panthers with one more year!) Not a huge fan of watching baseball or golf on television. My movie tastes are the same as music. I love action/adventure, comedies like Wedding Crashers/Superbad, classics, and a little romance occasionally. (I am a chick) It’s very difficult to meet people because of my work schedule. I rarely have that 9-5 schedule. In fact I normally work 4am to 1pm. More on that later! I'm a little shy at first but warm quickly to a guy who has a nice, friendly, talkative disposition. Perhaps even a little aggressive. I'm the kind of girl who won't return her burger if it's well done instead of medium. I love food in general. I like to cook sometimes, but I also like to rotate the responsibility. I'm all about an equal partnership. I am a fervent animal lover, especially dogs, though I do not own one of my own at the moment. Family is very important to me, and I find it difficult to turn away from someone in need. ABOUT YOU: A great sense of humor is incredibly important, including naughty humor; though I hope he knows that it may not be appropriate to include a "that's what she said" anecdote as a toast to my grandmother on her 97th birthday. In other words, he knows when and when not to use certain jokes. I’m looking for someone who is laid back, with no drama (unless of course your grandmother has died, your dog died, or nabisco has decided to stop producing Oreos), and just a genuinely good person with a kind heart. I'm somewhat sensitive in that I don't like to be yelled at (not that anyone has yelled at me in the past, and in actuality, I have so far gone through relationships unscathed.) Must not be possessive or jealous (or Psycho) must sing like Eddie Vedder (lyrics not discernable), must not have first name start w letter "G" (as in Ghone): and must be active member of the Sarcasm Association. Please do not attempt to contact me if you are one of the following: 1) the Craigslist killer (still at large) 2) an aspiring Craigslist killer 3) Gay 4) Married And now let's begin with a little word association: I say "Dave Garrard" You Say:"" I say "Spencer Tracy" You Say "" I say "Piano" You Say:"" I say "Hippopotamus" You say: "" * Location: Durham * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests PostingID: 1243473839 "

6/28/2009 3:33:00 PM

best of craigslist > SF bay area > Thanks, Mr.Hipster Record Store Clerk.


Originally Posted: Tue, 26 Feb 17:25 PST
Thanks, Mr.Hipster Record Store Clerk.

Date: 2008-02-26, 5:25PM PST


Dear Hipster Record Store Clerk,

Thank you for judging me on the CD I bought yesterday. Our passive-aggressive altercation made me realize how conformist I am for buying an old Rage Against The Machine album. Your condescension was just the intellectual wake-up call I needed.

I discovered a new me yesterday, and my eyes were opened in a new way. Thanks to you, I realize now that the key to enlightenment is reading Pitchfork, watching High Fidelity, listening to Velvet Underground, having a tattoo of a star on the inside of my wrist, growing an ironic mustache, living in the Mission, and wearing a too-small sweater, multi-colored 70’s ski-vest, chunky plastic-frame glasses, a high school sports T-shirt, air-tight black jeans, and Nixon-era Chuck Taylors.

I had it all wrong, man. You showed me that a skilled job and a comfortable living is just a lie. I need to go to art school, have my parents pay my rent, join a Joy Division-influenced band, and wait for a record deal, like you. I’m totally missing out in life.

So thanks again for mocking me. I mean, at first I thought you were just a pathetic, frustrated musician trying to feel better about yourself. But now I see you’re an uncompromising visionary.

No one will ever understand you. You’re so different.

Signed,

Everyone Not Like You

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 588037045

6/30/2009 1:08:48 AM

134r ac charging machine - $400 (cary nc)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: sale-hfqyb-1248466320@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-07-01, 10:18AM EDT



this an older r-12 machine that i have converted to 134r and works great. it will draw vacuum, leak check, and refill. cabnit has 2 locking drawers with keys for storage and a brand new tanks of 134 with only 2.5 missing. please not that this machine DOES NOT EVAC....REPEAT DOES NOT REMOVE FREON FROM CAR
please call 481-3040 and ask for joe
add will be removed when sold
thanks for veiwing


Location: cary nc
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

7/1/2009 3:06:22 PM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/mis/1250817301.html

Quote :

"To the mean girl posting about dum boys - w4m - 56 (Frame house in Selma) Reply to: pers-nekh6-1250817301@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-07-02, 4:24PM EDT Ok to the mean womin that typed on here about dumb guy on MC. You sound sexy. r you heavy-set? I shore hope so. i have gain some wait in the last year on accout of bein laitoff from my job and everything. have you got wide hip and strong laigs? good breeder stock cause i want me a few more youngin fore i turn 60. i like them big fancy words u use. i bet u got a sack full of tittys. do u like red man or skoal? i only dip of a evenin tho. if'n you dont want to have sex an everythin i can set up a army cot in the kitchen for u. that way you be close to the grocerys. ok? ok. girl u make me hot and give me a woody hard as chinese arithmatic. duh huh! call me or type me one of them email letter soon girl. i bet you dress out over 200 lb. an i like that.. * Location: Frame house in Selma * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests "

7/2/2009 7:11:14 PM

Quote :

"You are a Cosmetic Dentist and I am an Entertainer (Raleigh or surrounding area) Reply to: sale-hgv5c-1250898211@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-07-02, 5:10PM EDT Adult Entertainer seeking Cosmetic Dentist for Bridge and Crown work. I would like to barter part or whole cost of 2 crowns and bridge repair. Licensed and practicing Dentists only need reply please. Thanks "

7/2/2009 7:12:43 PM

so you get a stripper with busted teeth as payment

lolz

7/2/2009 7:24:12 PM

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pit/1145392897.html

Quote :

"Woman to sit in my bath tub full of noodles, wearing a bathing suit. Date: 2009-04-29, 1:39AM EDT I will pay you $1 USD to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit. I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this. I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure. I will require at least a 5 minutes stay. A neighbor will watch the front door from across the street and using a supplied stopwatch, will time your entry and departure. Please supply your own footwear. The noodles will be cooked, and therefore slippery. DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner. "

Kind of reminds me of Patch Adams, ha.

[Edited on July 4, 2009 at 2:50 AM. Reason : /]

[Edited on July 4, 2009 at 2:50 AM. Reason : /]

7/4/2009 2:49:26 AM

Quote :

"Wanted: Help with Internet Explorer Freezing (Anywhere) Reply to: sale-vyca4-1255211888@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-07-06, 12:08AM EDT I hope its okay that I post it here. But I am hoping to find someone that will be able to help me. I have a acer laptop and the internet explorer keeps freezing up on it. And this gets so annoying. I spoke with a guy a few months back, Aaron, about some issues with my other laptop. I'm just hoping to find someone who can tell me what would be causing this and what could be done. I have norton and run it everyday. Will someone please give me some advice... Thank you! "

7/6/2009 12:45:35 AM

meh, not really that funny

7/6/2009 12:47:02 AM

Quote :

"looking for tires for a 2003 lexus ES 300 - $40 Reply to: sale-yxscr-1255241157@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-07-06, 12:43AM EDT looking to pay $40.00 for 4 tires and $40.00 to install brake pads. "

hmmmm

7/6/2009 1:56:16 AM

^ hmm, i wonder if i know who that is....

7/6/2009 8:17:02 AM

Quote :

"fools ball table (kinghdale) Reply to: sale-qud6x-1257087627@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-07-07, 12:35AM EDT at 5605 fig ln kingthdale Location: kinghdale it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests PostingID: 1257087627"

7/7/2009 7:52:44 PM

Quote :

"watch n play - w4m - 25 (norcross) Reply to: pers-vwjx8-1258593074@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-07-07, 8:32PM EDT Beautiful lesbian couple looking for an audience that we can act out his innermost fantasies and desires in the flesh become a director of your very own movie pictures available though picture messaging if interested contact us at six seven eight five nine eight five seven seven three ask for april. "

7/7/2009 9:00:28 PM

Quote :

"Local Bead Shop: Barter Beads for Website (Durham) Reply to: job-h3e65-1229763575@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-19, 2:50PM EDT Rare Earth Bead shop will Barter Beads for Website development. If you have these skills and want access to the best selection of beads in the triangle, contact us. "

7/8/2009 2:16:04 PM

great. i can get about $4.76 worth of beads for my time and knowledge for a website design.

7/8/2009 2:34:32 PM

Quote :

"Feeling a bit Frisky... - w4m - 21 (Smithfield) Reply to: pers-dda38-1259141845@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-07-08, 8:48AM EDT Had a bad morning..looking for a way to make it a bit better. Think you can help?? e-mail me.. Im studying music at NC State (go wolfpack!!) * Location: Smithfield * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests PostingID: 1259141845"

which one of you is this?

7/8/2009 5:54:57 PM

^^^BEES?!?!

7/9/2009 1:27:33 AM

Quote :

"Women's plus size unitards (Raleigh - Garner) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reply to: sale-ezzrv-1260719694@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-07-09, 12:57AM EDT Hi. I'm in search of (exercise) unitards 2X or 3X. If anyone know of any stores locally that sell them. Please let me know. Thanks. Location: Raleigh - Garner it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests "

7/9/2009 10:29:10 AM

http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=2632

Just saw this on a blog.

I don't know if it's been posted already, but looks like a good site.

7/15/2009 3:37:24 PM

http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=2637#more-2637

Quote :

"Single Hip Dude lookin’ for a True Woman to share a Relationship with. - 27 I am an honest, caring person who is in need of an honest, caring woman to share conversations and life with. I have a lot of interests, including drawing, video games, music and whatever. I am pleasant and easy to talk to. In short, I would like a woman who is 18 to 27-years old, Smoke-Free, does NOT already have children, has a True, Honest and Caring personality, and resides around or within RUCKERSVILLE and CHARLOTTESVILLE, VIRGINIA. To BEST set up a date, please call my Pop on mi telefone de casa @ xxxxxxxxxx, and TALK ABOUT YOURSELF like you were talking to me; he will relay the message. I prefer IN-PERSON ENCOUNTERS; the sooner the better. *Also, a note to those who have recently e-mailed me: I humbly apologize for not replying, but I don’t get on my PC often currently, but my digits are here; give a ring. *And not meaning to be offensive, no jewish, please. Love and Peace, C.W.C."

WTF

7/15/2009 4:34:55 PM

7/22/2009 10:41:52 PM

^ For a second I thought that said Bukkake and not Bukowski.

I was all

7/22/2009 10:48:38 PM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/laf/1282652050.html

Quote :

"Crow still missing - $1000 Reward! (Youngsville) Date: 2009-07-22, 7:40AM EDT Reply to: comm-xazpa-1282652050@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Our baby is still missing, and we are offering a $1000 REWARD for her return. Please, if you or someone you know has possession of our crow, call us to arrange her safe return. She has been a part of our family for more than 13 years, and we are devastated by her loss and just want her home again. She is a non-releasable bird, and flew away on July 6. She likes playing with cell phones and change, and loves being rubbed on the back of her neck. She should be easy to spot because her legs and feet are not black like most crows, but are light colored. She likes people, and may approach your home for food or water. Please call 919-422-1021 or 919-554-0851 if you spot her. Thank you to everyone who has sent thoughts of hope and encouragement. Location: Youngsville it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests PostingID: 1282652050"

7/27/2009 1:56:49 AM