not tryin to be "jew-y", but it would be nice to have that 400 dollar bucks back.

and page 3

[Edited on November 12, 2010 at 10:51 AM. Reason : new page]

11/12/2010 10:50:44 AM

Not just you, just a general statement. Soon after a breakup, sadness and depression quickly turn to feelings of resentment in the form of monetary losses.

11/12/2010 10:55:42 AM

GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK YOU BITCH

11/12/2010 11:00:43 AM

^^true
^LOL

11/12/2010 11:24:06 AM

Semi similar thing happened to me a little over a year ago. I've been so grateful it ended (in hindsight). It actually caused me enough anxiety to cause eating problems for ~year. That cleared up in a couple weeks after splitting. If i were you I would just avoid contact. It wasn't that difficult for me although I had realized what a horrible parent she would have been based on how she treated her dog. I really feel sorry for him more than anything. Probably be best to just let the money thing go. Its just money. I would be more pissed about the 15months waisted.

I don't think I could be in a better relationship than I am currently in. There are good women out there. Good luck. If you want to play basketball, jog, etc...shoot me a PM.

11/12/2010 11:32:20 AM

Quote :

"Semi similar thing happened to me a little over a year ago. I've been so grateful it ended (in hindsight). It actually caused me enough anxiety to cause eating problems for ~year. That cleared up in a couple weeks after splitting. If i were you I would just avoid contact. It wasn't that difficult for me although I had realized what a horrible parent she would have been based on how she treated her dog. I really feel sorry for him more than anything. Probably be best to just let the money thing go. Its just money. I would be more pissed about the 15months waisted. I don't think I could be in a better relationship than I am currently in. There are good women out there. Good luck. If you want to play basketball, jog, etc...shoot me a PM."

this.

11/12/2010 11:33:18 AM

I have to say, there have been a lot of awesome posts in this thread and its been very cathartic for me to just "talk" about on TWW. I know TWW isn't a blog, but its been very helpful to know that others have dealt with similar types of cray-cray and similar situations.

11/12/2010 11:59:02 AM

right now is exactly the time you need to reach out to your friends

don't be by yourself and don't contact your ex

ignore her when she tries to contact you (she will)

watch Swingers.

go do something to better yourself

it gets better

11/12/2010 12:05:22 PM

right now, you should be getting some hood rats

11/12/2010 12:41:40 PM

Can I turn this thread into a pic thread of the naked ex-girlfriend genre?

11/12/2010 1:25:02 PM

Quote :

"it would be nice to have that 400 dollar bucks back"

you probably can't get a refund but you could pay a change fee and take a trip somewhere cool instead

11/12/2010 1:28:36 PM

Quote :

"right now is exactly the time you need to reach out to your friends don't be by yourself and don't contact your ex ignore her when she tries to contact you (she will) watch Swingers. go do something to better yourself it gets better"

second this. solid advice. especially the bolded portion.

It definitely sounds cliche, but you'll be doing yourself a favor if you look at this whole situation as an opportunity to go out and do some things for yourself that you were previously too complacent/prideful/ashamed/lazy/etc to accomplish. And it looks like you're already self-aware enough to recognize there are things you need to work on, so stick with it. If you use the breakup as an impetus to better yourself, your next relationship will undoubtedly be much more fulfilling.

11/12/2010 2:09:14 PM

Quote :

"ignore her when she tries to contact you (she will)"

I absolutely second this. When my LTR from college broke off, the first thing I said to her was that we probably didn't need to talk anymore, and that the friends thing wasn't going to work. She got upset, I caved.

....4 months later, I was left holding the bag as I'd started to really believe there was hope in getting back together, when in fact she was just using that time to emotionally wean herself off of me.

She cut contact all of a sudden 2 weeks into me starting law school. Ignored my phone calls, defriended on facebook. I wrote a long letter at Christmas where I dumped my entire heart out and asked just for the chance to talk to her, with no expectation of a restart to the relationship.

The letter got returned to sender.

Worst feeling in the world.

11/12/2010 2:48:54 PM

Fuck I have to stop checking out this thread...

Mine has been pretty recent too...August.

Still gets to me.

11/12/2010 2:54:45 PM

^ Agreed. I've been in several where the girl broke it off and then would contact me knowing that she had the upper hand and I'd give her attention on demand.

Now that I'm a bit older and wiser I realize that the correct response is to cut off all contact and then go on a bender for several months where you drink a lot and fuck any girl that makes eye contact with you.

11/12/2010 2:55:50 PM

This thread is starting to sound depressing...

11/12/2010 3:01:14 PM

THIS THREAD NEEDS A DRINK

11/12/2010 3:06:55 PM

+5000000000 to alcohol mana
Welcome to level 2.

11/12/2010 3:20:14 PM

Quote :

"The letter got returned to sender."

damn that's cold.

So I get home and what's on my doorstep? Envelope from the photographer, where we had pictures made together. just effin great.

message_postreply.aspx?topic=604701

11/12/2010 4:43:22 PM

Hmmmm...from a female perspective:

1) The girl sounds like she's just waking up and realizing she's in a live-in relationship where she's engaged to someone imperfect. Where the whole thrill of being engaged and then planning a marriage married is wearing off and she's like "zomg, relationships take work?". Sounds like she has some growing up to do.

2) Not really sure what your past/life events were, but anyone who really wants to settle down with you should be able to work through things, unless it directly relates to her safety or well-being (you were an abuser, had huge financial problems, etc.).

3) Agree with whoever that was, 15 months seems sort of short to be engaged and planning a wedding.

4) One of you needs to move out of the house ASAP. Maybe you can stay out at a friend's house until she's packed up and moved out, if she doesn't want to. And I wouldn't help her move, either, because you don't want to fall into that nice guy trap.

Best to get out on a clean break, before you both do something you'll regret later. And I'd make it very clear once she leaves, she is not coming back. None of this back and forth crap where you get your heart broken twice.

11/12/2010 5:39:40 PM

yeah I'm not helping her move. Fuck that shit.

And it did feel good to tell her last night when she was all "do you realize this is your fault, all the money we spent, all the money my parents spent, gone. What do you think they think of that?" My reply "Look, you're leaving me. And as far as your parents go, I like them, but I don't have to give a shit about that anymore." (That finally shut her up for once)


And it wasn't like we were yelling or anything, just normal voiced sentences. It sort of seems like she's on the crazy tree right now, which is making me less sad about the situation.

11/13/2010 6:03:22 AM

just broke up with my fiance too. It's probably for the best anyway.

11/13/2010 7:15:36 AM

^^

It's going to get even crazier once she finds out you have moved on or sees you with someone else. That's when the bat shit crazies come out.

11/13/2010 7:25:22 AM

Dude, if she's blaming you entirely for this, and trying to guilt you with the parent line, that a red flag she's lost all respect for you and the relationship. And again, she sounds immature.

A woman with respect and maturity would walk away from this situation with her head up, and wouldn't resort to passive-aggressive techniques of blame, guilt, etc. to get her point across.

Boo on all this.

11/13/2010 9:51:38 AM

Quote :

"If you use the breakup as an impetus to better yourself, your next relationship will undoubtedly be much more fulfilling."

agree! this is the best thing you can do for yourself at this point

11/13/2010 12:00:18 PM

Broke up with my gf of 6 years about a month ago... a lot of the advice in this thread seems to be a great idea... probably better than my method of coping, several bottles of liquor

11/13/2010 5:04:10 PM

today is moving day for her. All of her stuff is packed up, watching spiderman waiting for the movers to come and get her stuff.

She is here too. Everything is cordial at the moment. She even brought me breakfast.


I am ready to start moving on and getting started to do things that I want to do. Went bowling last night and had a blast. My friends have been awesome in helping out through all of this.

11/14/2010 7:27:43 AM

Good luck! Today is an important hurdle. Just focus on getting over it. Your friends sound great. Very supportive. And teedub is here if you need us.

11/14/2010 7:37:33 AM

And she's gone. As I was double checking the upstairs, she left. No goodbye, no fuck you, no have a nice life, nothing.

The thing is, I'm not really surprised by that, the way she's been acting over the past few days.

I'm sad about the situation, I wish that it would have went better, but I'm calm, and looking forward to moving on. Off to target to buy some cleaning supplies/etc to start cleaning up the living room & kitchen. I'm trying to "remove her presence" for the remainder of the day.


The really sad thing is, my dog keeps running around the house, looking for her and/or her dog. My poor doggy is gonna be sad for a while, I'll have to be sure to give him extra attention, exercise and treats.

11/14/2010 10:22:10 AM

Not to be mean or anything, but it sounds like you are projecting your own feelings onto the dog.

11/14/2010 10:53:20 AM

The dog will you keep you company and extra motivated to get out of the house and get some exercise

11/14/2010 11:07:48 AM

^^I wouldn't go that far. A dog can certainly understand when something is missing and they can display basic emotions.

When I first left for college my dog slept on my bed for days and was less energetic. Same way as he runs around like a maddog for like 5 minutes when I stop to visit.

11/14/2010 11:25:58 AM

Dog park. Meet women.

11/14/2010 11:52:34 AM

Quote :

"Not to be mean or anything, but it sounds like you are projecting your own feelings onto the dog. "

nope, the dog was just looking for the other dog and person, aka, half of his pack.

Quote :

"Dog park. Meet women. "

That is part of the plan later on. I think for now I need to focus on me, get a regular booty call situation going on, and just do my own thing.

11/14/2010 12:10:26 PM

Sounds like the girl was trying to get some more substance/grounding for herself after committing to the breakup, then just became a cunt with leaving without warning.

11/14/2010 2:39:10 PM

well tdub, she's out. All of it. The pictures she left behind (on my desk in my office), other items of our relationship, etc. Had some friends over and we cleaned the place, moved some furniture around, etc.

The neighbors stopped by and asked if we were moving, so I informed them of the situation.


I can tell that its gonna get pretty lonely here really quickly if I do the recluse thing, so that's even more motivation to become a more social person.

And yep, my dog has been mopey since she & her dog left.

11/14/2010 4:15:49 PM

Watch some Caesar Milan and bond with your dog

Really though, watching that could probably help you pick up some tips you might have forgotten on how to get your dog (and you) into a better mood. If not, hang out and play with your dog a bunch. I do seem to remember a case or two where there was a lost loved one and Caesar helped the family out, as the dog was acting out.

I, too, would say that your dog isn't being mopey, you are just projecting emotions onto him.

11/14/2010 8:58:43 PM

I went through a similar situation and it's very likely your dog is missing her and her dog. Some time to move on & spending more quality time with you will definitely help! Have you thought about getting another dog? It might be out of the question though depending on your work schedule and how much patience you have.

11/14/2010 9:17:51 PM

Go to a dog park so your dog can meet some new dog friends.

11/14/2010 9:23:34 PM

Quote :

"fuck any girl that makes eye contact with you."

11/14/2010 9:28:49 PM

This weekend I'm gonna go strollin for booty. (Where's that Duke girl that bwned everyone? lol)

Tonight when I get home, its removing pics off my PC (nothing TWW would like), and putting the last of her leftover shit in the trash/recycling so the trash dudes can pick it up tomorrow.

[Edited on November 15, 2010 at 1:39 PM. Reason : edit]

11/15/2010 1:38:29 PM

Quote :

"fuck any girl that makes eye contact with you."

11/15/2010 1:45:08 PM

So sorry feel better. >----------- ------------< E-Hug

11/15/2010 2:10:14 PM

Thanks for the show of support everyone, it really has been a big help to just put it out there and say what's been going on.

Done some shopping around, I'm gonna get about 60% of what I paid for the engagement ring back, which after doing some googling is pretty standard.

I've also been thinking of something stupid. Hitting up an ex-gf that has big boobies to see if there's any potential for booty call. I know the only reason that I wanna hook up with her is because of her big boobies (and superb bwn skills), and it wouldn't be wise to holler since that breakup was full of drama.

Yeah, I think I need some boobies.

11/15/2010 2:54:37 PM

Quote :

"Semi similar thing happened to me a little over a year ago. I've been so grateful it ended (in hindsight). It actually caused me enough anxiety to cause eating problems for ~year. That cleared up in a couple weeks after splitting."

Wow, same thing! I dropped like 13lbs within 2 months of being married (I'm about 115 now, so you can imagine how gross I looked.) I coudln't eat, always felt sick to my stomach, sleeping issues. This went on for about 4 months.

A week after we split and decided it was over, my stomach cleared up. I haven't had issues since!

11/15/2010 3:14:08 PM

Dont ever. Ever. Ever stay in touch with ex's unless u have a kid with them


People who stay in touch are weak

11/15/2010 3:18:58 PM

oh I'm not in touch with her (or any other ex), I'm just thinking about boobies.

11/15/2010 3:21:34 PM

Foshizzle find a new set without all the baggage

11/15/2010 3:23:53 PM

If you're thinking of boobies, I'd like to direct your attention to Chit Chat. There are plenty to be found.

11/15/2010 3:25:43 PM

Quote :

"I've also been thinking of something stupid. Hitting up an ex-gf that has big boobies to see if there's any potential for booty call. I know the only reason that I wanna hook up with her is because of her big boobies (and superb bwn skills), and it wouldn't be wise to holler since that breakup was full of drama. "

do not do this. you already have 1 crazy woman in your radius, no reason to invite another.

11/15/2010 3:26:27 PM