I'm a sales rep. the female in question is the other sales rep.


UPDATE: she just walked in and stood here again. this time I made the smartass "ummmmm, can I help you with something?" comment. she flipped me off and walked out. I'm so in

[Edited on September 24, 2008 at 1:11 PM. Reason : d]

9/24/2008 12:56:53 PM

now just come up with a good james bond-type line to go with her flipping you off.

9/24/2008 1:35:02 PM

I just IMed her and told her she smells like a stripper. this oughta get good

9/24/2008 1:37:14 PM

me: you there?
her: no
me: fine then
her: "can i help you with something?"
me: i just wanted to tell you that you smell like a stripper today
me: and thank you for turning my office into Christie's Cabaret
her: you are such an ass
me: you love it

9/24/2008 1:39:42 PM

Add to my Topics

9/24/2008 1:46:43 PM

her: i love you being mean to me?
me: i kid because i care
me: figured you could use a laugh
her: you should come over here and drop your pants then
her: i'm sure that would give me a good laugh
me: ok, now you went too far
me: you take that back
her: whatever you say, tiny

9/24/2008 1:54:26 PM

OH SNAP

She insulted the peen

9/24/2008 1:55:27 PM

Just send her the "Huge Vagina" scene from AD

9/24/2008 1:56:16 PM

you should have just started walking over and unzipping. she would have gone

9/24/2008 1:57:17 PM

haha sick burn

9/24/2008 1:57:27 PM

i am trying to think of something quirky to say. she just went into a meeting with my boss so I probably have about minutes, help me TWW. HELP ME DEFEND THE HONOR OF MY PENIS

9/24/2008 2:00:53 PM

hahaha. p33n pwned.


i agree with the user above... you should have started to unzip just to get a reaction

9/24/2008 2:01:25 PM

^ i would have done that, but the boss is lurking. that's all i need

9/24/2008 2:02:09 PM

fair enough, stupid boss. always getting in the way of our good time!

9/24/2008 2:02:45 PM

take the trashbag out of your trashcan, write "magnum" on it, drop it off on her desk with a note that says 'we might need this for later'

9/24/2008 2:03:36 PM

well the boss usually cuts out at like 3 or 3:30 when she comes in, so shit might get good a little later

9/24/2008 2:03:41 PM

^^This guy is a pro.

[Edited on September 24, 2008 at 2:05 PM. Reason : ]

9/24/2008 2:05:09 PM

Quote :

"take the trashbag out of your trashcan, write "magnum" on it, drop it off on her desk with a note that says 'we might need this for later'"

quoted for hilarity!... use this.. hilarioussssssssssssssss

9/24/2008 2:07:05 PM

me: you do realize I have to defend my honor now, right
her: did you say something, tiny?
me: oh, it is on now
me: it is soooooo on
her: why so defensive? must be a sore subject
me: the only thing going to be sore is you when I am finished
her: bring it
me: oh I will
her: i'll believe it when i see it

9/24/2008 2:09:31 PM

^that pretty much seals it. its your's for the taking... don't chicken out on us!

9/24/2008 2:24:00 PM

it's not really a matter of chickening out, but more a matter of knowing how badly shit like this always turns out for me. have i finally learned my lesson? doubt it

9/24/2008 2:25:25 PM

this thread/scenario is 10/10

continue.

9/24/2008 2:26:35 PM

You have to go in there and do the whole unzip thing when you get the chance.

See if she's all talk or all business.

Then you can play a game of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours"

9/24/2008 2:26:47 PM

^

9/24/2008 2:27:29 PM

if you don't want to do it....


you seduce her, get her in your room, and get her nekkid. meanwhile, I'll hide in your closet. after you cut the lights out, I'll come to the bed and bang it out...

this plan is flawless

9/24/2008 2:28:13 PM

me: have you ever heard of a game called just the tip?
her: do i even want to know?
me: oh, i think you do

9/24/2008 2:29:48 PM

^^does that count as rape?

[Edited on September 24, 2008 at 2:30 PM. Reason : f]

9/24/2008 2:29:52 PM

nah, it would be completely consentual

9/24/2008 2:31:11 PM

if the girl's never seen wedding crashers............

9/24/2008 2:32:06 PM

im shocked she didn't pull something more cleaver then crackin on your junk. I would expect her to be a bit more witty at that age

9/24/2008 2:32:32 PM

I'm not buying those last three texts...

I'm still entertained tho.

9/24/2008 2:32:58 PM

entertaining thread, but how old is she? you guys sound like 2 high schoolers IMing each other.

9/24/2008 2:33:43 PM

I want someone to crank on my junk

9/24/2008 2:33:52 PM

she's 36, and she hasn't seen Office Space either.

[Edited on September 24, 2008 at 2:35 PM. Reason : a]

9/24/2008 2:35:12 PM

^exactly, she really wants it.... so she's game, as long as he doesn't disappoint her she won't mind.....



and yeah, surprisingly my situation didn't blow up in my face... but thats probably because she got fired (for a completely different reason)

is her job more important than yours? if you end up sealing the deal outside of work, then you can't get in trouble. unless she's your boss or something

9/24/2008 2:35:51 PM

how about....
if this thread gets to 100 pages by midnight, you'll post pics?

9/24/2008 2:36:56 PM

Quote :

"if you end up sealing the deal outside of work, then you can't get in trouble."

hahahha riiiiiiight

9/24/2008 2:37:45 PM

Quote :

"I'm not buying those last three texts... I'm still entertained tho."

wouldn't it be funny if this was just some huge elaborate hoax? 3 pages of pwnt?

9/24/2008 2:38:46 PM

it'd be even ~er if that was the case

[Edited on September 24, 2008 at 2:39 PM. Reason : like, burro ~]

9/24/2008 2:39:17 PM

you wouldn't!!!

9/24/2008 2:39:29 PM

^either way if it is, its very believable..

^^^^and shhhhhhh. get out of here with your logic!

[Edited on September 24, 2008 at 2:40 PM. Reason : .]

9/24/2008 2:39:50 PM

i would say that if it is a hoax, you have WAAAAY too much time on your hands

9/24/2008 2:43:46 PM

nah, I can't make shit like this up. if I were to have made a story up, I would have fucked her by now.

9/24/2008 2:43:50 PM

if this thread was a hoax, he'd have way more than time in his hands

9/24/2008 2:44:16 PM

ISWYDT

9/24/2008 2:44:52 PM

it would still be some funny shit, but definitely much sadder

9/24/2008 2:45:39 PM

her: i'm bored
me: sorry, did you say something old lady?
me:
her: are you staying on the office tomorrow?
me: hell no, it's going to be really nice tomorrow. I'm going out
me: probably hit out near Colfax
her: want to meet for lunch?
me: i'd rather meat for lunch.
her: huh?
me: nevermind

9/24/2008 2:58:44 PM

ZING

9/24/2008 3:01:28 PM

sad thing is you're not even very smooth


...and by that i mean barely at all.


good thing she's old but you mess up in bed and this is done..

9/24/2008 3:04:58 PM

dude, i am smooth as shit yo. i am being corny for the comedic value

[Edited on September 24, 2008 at 3:05 PM. Reason : a]

9/24/2008 3:05:41 PM