GREEN JAYlol that'd be me

Megi shall



[Edited on July 27, 2013 at 8:46 AM. Reason : merp]

7/27/2013 8:45:40 AM

i have a couple of real male friends like that but i stay pretty distant just in case because of their wives.

7/27/2013 9:42:54 AM

i mean, we're both married. and im friends with his wife. and she knows about it too. i guess our spouses are mature enough to handle it? idk.

but i mean, regardless, i was more or less trying to see what other people would feel if that was their situation.

7/27/2013 12:40:20 PM

all 4 of you should just get together and fuck in a pile

7/27/2013 12:49:39 PM

7/27/2013 12:57:29 PM

http://www.wikihow.com/Hug-a-Girl

8/12/2013 9:18:42 PM

i get legit mad at myself when i am listening to a musician's discography and accidentally listen to one out of order.

8/20/2013 7:39:48 AM

I'm over high dollar beer. Right now I'm drinking an Icehouse 40.

8/20/2013 11:54:48 PM

I've fapped to a couple of Japanese news-anchor bukake films lately. I quite dig them. There's something really erotic about seeing a sharp-dressed woman sitting at a desk giving the news with a straight face, while her face is covered in cum and her tits are bouncing around and there's a guy ramming her from behind.

However, I've found that after a certain level of cum on the newscaster's face, I'm less turned on. There's an optimal amount of cum in which she looks like a delectably abused slut, but beyond that the whole thing is just ridiculous and disgusting. But a moderate amount of cum is

These vids are my jam right now.

8/21/2013 12:16:01 AM

SM is walking on thinnnnnnnnnnnnn ice

8/28/2013 7:33:49 AM

I have a plan to kill every person I meet, every day, should the need arise.

8/28/2013 9:46:04 PM

Are you Dwight Schrute?

8/29/2013 10:31:41 PM

I may have a problem....


Apparently I text too much. Sent 10766 texts last month.

8/30/2013 11:53:49 AM

I'm so happy!

8/30/2013 2:29:24 PM

^^ great scot

8/30/2013 2:30:03 PM

I accidentally grabbed a woman's boob at work today. Luckily, she was really cool and didn't care.

8/30/2013 9:47:03 PM

so you're sending 2 a minute for 14 hours a day. are you single?

8/30/2013 10:08:08 PM

Nope. Happily married. Just use texting as my main way to communicate.

I don't answer the phone when people call. Most people know to text me if they need me.

I answer for three people. My hubby. Lee. And my parents.

...guess that's 4 but whatever

8/30/2013 10:15:03 PM

Quote :

"so you're sending 2 a minute for 14 hours a day. are you single?"

actually, it's a text every 2 minutes, not 2 texts a minute. still pretty hardcore, though

I used a computational software package for this, I confess...I'm too old and tired to do such calculations in my head anymore

8/31/2013 2:32:49 AM

qntmsister is the BubbleBobble of texts

8/31/2013 6:31:37 AM

Quote :

"I accidentally grabbed a woman's boob at work today. Luckily, she was really cool and didn't care. "

cool

What do boobs feel like btw?

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

8/31/2013 7:21:55 AM

Why the hell do people post links to upworthy?

Just link to the goddam video.

9/4/2013 9:01:55 AM

jesus christ

that works out to one text every 4 minutes

and that's 24/7

what the fucking fuck

9/4/2013 9:07:41 AM

Quote :

"I answer for three people. My hubby. Lee. And my parents. "

who's lee?

and

Quote :

"jesus christ that works out to one text every 4 minutes and that's 24/7 what the fucking fuck"

9/4/2013 9:09:24 AM

I seriously question my sanity at times. I'm afraid of turning into a weird cat lady one day, but then I think to myself... would it be so bad to be a weird cat lady?

2/26/2014 9:54:16 AM

I have a soft-spot for northern Florida . . . like panhandle Florida.

3/6/2014 1:05:33 PM

Lee is the dude she's being emotionally unfaithful with.

3/6/2014 1:56:49 PM

Today, I took a shit without my phone and spent the whole time tying and untying my shoelaces.

hours later, I still have this underlying feeling that something is not right.

3/6/2014 3:56:36 PM

^ I was in a situation like that not too long ago where I was caught without my digital pooping assistant. I think I resorted to reading the text on the back of my credit card to pass the time.

[Edited on March 6, 2014 at 4:06 PM. Reason : Kdi]

3/6/2014 4:05:28 PM

how long does it take you to poop?

3/6/2014 4:15:29 PM

That depends on my emotional state at the time. If I'm depressed, it takes me a long time... I guess because in some way, I feel like I deserve to sit in a dimly-lit and smelly place

3/6/2014 4:23:16 PM

is that because you just sit there and nothing happens while you contemplate death beforehand, or because you stop to get depressed in the middle?

3/6/2014 4:28:49 PM

My poop schedule has been off lately. I'll go 3-4 times one day, then not at all the next day.

Today I've already pooped twice.

3/7/2014 8:59:15 AM

^I'm the same way. It's kind of annoying. Today is also a poop day for me.

3/7/2014 9:43:33 AM

8 US College Styles You`ll Never Want To See In The UK: http://www.thedailytouch.com/elisa/8-us-college-styles-you-would-never-find-in-the-uk/

I have done (and mostly still do) everything on this list. Usually at least two (or more) at the same damn time. EXCEPT #1: Chacos. I have Tevas and they're in my sorority's colors.

[Edited on June 4, 2014 at 4:23 PM. Reason : p.s. I am back on schedule ]

6/4/2014 4:23:00 PM

Lately, something weird has been happening. I will randomly have some old hookup pop into my head from years ago, and for the ones that ended horribly I feel kind of bad for hurting their feelings if I did. I'm able to get over it pretty easily by convincing myself we both knew what we were doing.

It's just weird.

6/4/2014 7:24:29 PM

I'm getting in bed before 8:30.

6/4/2014 8:23:26 PM

^and it's not to have sex

6/4/2014 8:56:38 PM

Sometimes I feel like I'm becoming a nihilist.

6/4/2014 9:30:21 PM

Seriously. The feels. So annoying

6/20/2014 9:54:29 PM

Finally got a decent job. Have serious doubts about my ability to do it. I'm not a good fake either.

6/22/2014 8:22:47 PM

Don't worry almost everyone is shitty at their job, at least as far as I can tell from my experience in the working world.

6/23/2014 1:58:30 AM

^ pretty much. Not to mention, based on standardized testing and Internet quizzes, beodgetspk is likely one of the people half decent at their job and will quickly rise to The top.

6/23/2014 2:47:01 AM

I hate that I'm always less invested in my partner.

6/23/2014 3:46:32 AM

I'm fucking depressed. My doctor is attempting to diagnose me with yet another fucking disease. My son isn't even 4 months old and I would have two choices of medicine to take, both of which would affect him. One choice would mean no more breastfeeding. The other choice would mean I could breastfeed but I would have to take him to his doctor monthly for blood draws. A third choice would be removing the problem all together but that would mean a higher rate of miscarriage should we choose to try to have another baby. I am already at higher risk because of another disease I have. When will it fucking end? I am so over this shit. Just when I think everything is getting better... What have I done to piss off the gods so royally?

6/24/2014 9:55:28 PM

^ >------<

6/24/2014 10:02:46 PM

Thanks emce

6/24/2014 10:54:42 PM

Good Luck. With those choices I would go with no more breastfeeding. My wife tried her damnedest to breastfeed but it ultimately proved unsuccessful. Wouldn't latch on, couldn't pump enough, etc. We ended up switching to formula and the dude is doing just fine. She may try it again the next go around but we will switch before going through all that shit again.

6/24/2014 11:03:18 PM

I would say no more breastfeeding is better than putting your son through blood draws... I'm sorry you have a rough time with your health. I hope that something positive comes your way.

6/24/2014 11:20:20 PM

Blood draws are very difficult on little ones less than a year. It's always taken multiple sticks for mine and we even had to use scalp veins on one of mine. I'd let the breastfeeding go. You've made it past the first months. Formula isn't the end of the world.

6/24/2014 11:24:25 PM