I don't love you, but your profile titillates. What do you do for dick?

2/28/2013 2:05:19 PM

don't lie...

you love me too

2/28/2013 2:06:17 PM

I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love

2/28/2013 2:08:33 PM

i didn't say anything at all about making love

2/28/2013 2:10:09 PM

Come give me a hug if you're into getting rubbed

2/28/2013 2:12:05 PM

the last guy who offered me a hug from the internet is now mad that i haven't called him in the 12 hours since he decided to give me his number...

i'm afraid he wants to rub me too...

2/28/2013 2:18:19 PM

OAB?

2/28/2013 2:24:42 PM

Guys should never give their number first, thats pickup rule 101

2/28/2013 2:25:09 PM

and numbers should only be exchanged after you agree to meet up. just to coordinate

2/28/2013 2:27:17 PM

you mean, not for dick pics?

2/28/2013 2:28:14 PM

i think i've only given my number to 2 dudes from the internet...

one i met, one i didn't...

the rest gave them to me...one i met, the rest i didn't

2/28/2013 2:30:37 PM

working hard @ the office today, casey?

[Edited on February 28, 2013 at 2:32 PM. Reason : yet, here i am as well]

2/28/2013 2:32:07 PM

Quote :

"working hard"

hahahahaha we all know that's never the case...well except for 1 or 2 days a month.

2/28/2013 2:33:29 PM

actually i've been working all day...

it's just busy work though and nothing that requires any brain power

2/28/2013 2:33:31 PM

Quote :

"Guys should never give their number first, thats pickup rule 101"

this is like the ultimate beta move.

2/28/2013 2:39:26 PM

lol


i kind of want to join the site to see what it would be like.

wonder what my SO would think of that

[Edited on February 28, 2013 at 2:41 PM. Reason : ]

2/28/2013 2:41:04 PM

tell him and the two of you could laugh at the messages you get

2/28/2013 2:45:56 PM

i know his first reaction would be

then after that it probably depends on how good of a lunch i packed him that day. lol


KIDDING, BY THE WAY
he packs his own lunch

[Edited on February 28, 2013 at 2:50 PM. Reason : ]

2/28/2013 2:48:15 PM

lol, don't want to get in trouble later i see

2/28/2013 2:58:26 PM

i weep for humanity at this point

[Edited on February 28, 2013 at 3:35 PM. Reason : "wanna know how big my dick is?"]

2/28/2013 3:35:09 PM

really? is that the kind of messages you girls are getting?



if so, i really need to step my game up.


i'm just going to start sending "want to know how many pushups i can do"

2/28/2013 3:43:36 PM

I'm sure there are a few guys like me on there and we are awesome catches! So I am told at least

2/28/2013 3:43:52 PM

well i also got...

"pretty princess

i love your eyes, smile and hair.Damn i love everything about you. You are the sunshine and id love to be your guy.Can we talk? "

2/28/2013 3:48:27 PM

gag me with a spork

2/28/2013 3:48:55 PM

i'm gonna use that and copy paste it to every profile within 50 miles of me between the ages of 18 and 45

2/28/2013 3:49:35 PM

any man who thinks i am "the sunshine" is in for a rude awakening...

i don't even know what that means and i know i'm not it...

[Edited on February 28, 2013 at 3:52 PM. Reason : asdf]

2/28/2013 3:52:13 PM

it's so terrible that it's brilliant.

2/28/2013 3:52:18 PM

the previous best was "Dom looking for loving and sexy sub for long term relationship"...


but that sorta pales in comparison now

2/28/2013 3:55:58 PM

Hey LP, show me yo dick

2/28/2013 3:57:58 PM

PM SENT!

2/28/2013 3:59:31 PM

!

2/28/2013 4:00:58 PM

Hey LP, show me yo sunshine

2/28/2013 4:04:05 PM

2/28/2013 4:05:55 PM

it's a little cloudy today

2/28/2013 4:29:06 PM

This was one that confused the hell out of me:

Quote :

"I bet you could take me..................... In Mario Bros"

I have NOTHING about video games in my profile. Most other messages I got were a variation of this:

Quote :

"Hellloooo "

2/28/2013 4:36:07 PM

Hey sunshine, wanna play some mario kart.

2/28/2013 4:38:37 PM

anyone else get a message from the guy who asks what your favorite cereal is? he sent it to me twice because he forgot he tried the same move a few weeks previously I guess.

he was odd

2/28/2013 4:39:17 PM

every girl i click on

likes wine
likes sushi
loves a night out on the town, but doesn't mind a night in in front of the tv.


wash rinse repeat

2/28/2013 4:39:45 PM

my profile is baller. but it's also words. i don't think anyone actually read it all except for the guy i'm seeing now.

2/28/2013 4:40:36 PM

every guy i click on

- is sarcastic, laid back, and loyal
- likes to take care of themselves physically and wants a partner who does the same
- is very into sports
- loves the beach but goes to the mountains a couple of times a year
- loves a night out on the town, but doesn't mind a night in in front of the tv

wash, rinse, repeat

2/28/2013 4:44:05 PM

^hahaha, true.

i found one girl who was like "i don't work out much and i love TV" and my immediate thought was well we are perfect!

then it said she owned cats and went to UNC.


i still sent her a message. she must not have liked my anti tarheel joke.

2/28/2013 4:44:16 PM

i want to read just one that says "i'm pretty lazy. i like to lay on the couch, drinking beer and watching tv. if you'll have sex with me i'll give you my number"

2/28/2013 4:45:55 PM

Every girl goes hiking the Appalachian trail every weekend according to their profiles

2/28/2013 6:53:34 PM

Quote :

"every guy i click on - is sarcastic, laid back, and loyal - likes to take care of themselves physically and wants a partner who does the same - is very into sports - loves the beach but goes to the mountains a couple of times a year - loves a night out on the town, but doesn't mind a night in in front of the tv "

not me

2/28/2013 6:58:08 PM

well clearly i haven't clicked on your profile

2/28/2013 6:59:27 PM

I want to make a semi hateful listing and see how it does now.

2/28/2013 6:59:34 PM

The secret to this is not to get too deep in your damn profile. You're supposed to meet these people, right? Not fuck around on the Internet chatting about shit all day. I've nixed several ones that were going that way. The only time I'm judgey is when chicks are waaaaay too into animals or themselves. I don't even judge when they say they like the Beatles in their profiles. It's a big eyeroll, but whatever. Meet the chick, then judge.

2/28/2013 7:01:24 PM

yo gurl, lemme see y0 dick

2/28/2013 7:24:04 PM

If you're not hideous you can meet tons of people on these things if you're not doing it wrong.

2/28/2013 7:51:36 PM

Be relatively attractive and don't give off a creepy vibe and you'll be fine.

2/28/2013 7:56:35 PM