this isn't a status but, the kind of shit people share just makes me angry.
HAHA LOOK AT THIS MARGINALLY BUT NOT REALLY HUMOROUS AND EXTREMELY CONTRIVED ATTEMPT AT AN INTERNET MEME. ISN'T IT SO WORTHY OF .01 SECONDS OF YOUR TIME AND SCREEN SPACE? PLEASE LAUGH AT IT OR AT LEAST LIKE IT TO ASSURE ME THAT I AM NOT AS ALONE AS I FEEL

1/30/2013 10:39:53 PM

You talking about facebook or tww?

1/31/2013 8:16:45 AM

Yeah tdub doesn't have "status" and "share" BUT GOOD ONE BRO

Guys, he got us. Guys?

......hello?

1/31/2013 10:32:54 AM

Quote :

"Best quote of the day buddy said to me on the job site work harder millions of people on wale fair depends on you"

1/31/2013 12:13:34 PM

Quote :

"Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ? Student : Yes, sir. Professor: So, you believe in GOD ? Student : Absolutely, sir. Professor : Is GOD good ? Student : Sure. Professor: Is GOD all powerful ? Student : Yes. Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm? (Student was silent.) Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good? Student : Yes. Professor: Is satan good ? Student : No. Professor: Where does satan come from ? Student : From … GOD … Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world? Student : Yes. Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct? Student : Yes. Professor: So who created evil ? (Student did not answer.) Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they? Student : Yes, sir. Professor: So, who created them ? (Student had no answer.) Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD? Student : No, sir. Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD? Student : No , sir. Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter? Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t. Professor: Yet you still believe in Him? Student : Yes. Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son? Student : Nothing. I only have my faith. Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has. Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat? Professor: Yes. Student : And is there such a thing as cold? Professor: Yes. Student : No, sir. There isn’t. (The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.) Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it. (There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.) Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness? Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness? Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you? Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ? Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed. Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how? Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey? Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do. Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir? (The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.) Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class was in uproar.) Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain? (The class broke out into laughter. ) Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir? (The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.) Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son. Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving. P.S. I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you? Forward this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH. By the way, that student was EINSTEIN."

2/1/2013 1:12:55 AM

Quote :

"omg everybody hatin on ppl who gtin tax money if u work u gt to file taxes for payin taxes all year outta ya pay check duuuuh main ones talkn gtin govt asst. u should thank us to dnt gt mad gt a job lls "

2/1/2013 2:56:29 AM

^^wat

2/1/2013 6:17:37 AM

really dumb analogy. wtf is she talking about?

Quote :

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. love you girl..."

2/6/2013 11:24:00 PM

2/7/2013 3:26:35 PM

lol

2/7/2013 3:29:31 PM

^^^dumb yes, but she is basically trying to say good friends are not with you just for your money and perks. Again dumb, I mean would you expect the fake friends just to stay with the broke down limo?

[Edited on February 7, 2013 at 3:36 PM. Reason : .]

2/7/2013 3:36:30 PM

^ no they call another limo i think

2/7/2013 3:43:51 PM

Whenever I see a limo I assume that it's just a white trash bachelorette party.

2/7/2013 4:01:12 PM

*scratches limo off of his cool list*

2/7/2013 4:05:19 PM

I did that after prom

2/7/2013 4:06:36 PM

2/12/2013 5:06:23 PM

If we don't take care of our vets who will take care of our animals

2/12/2013 10:02:52 PM

Quote :

"I'm going to start pretending to dry heave when around large groups of friends. Chances are, one of you is that guy who can't stomach the visual of the possibility of someone vomiting without...vomiting. I'm going to find you and torture you for the rest of your life."

2/13/2013 10:40:28 AM

not a status message...someone's "about me" section

Quote :

"lets put it this way, ive kicked more ass then youve sat on. I do what i want to do, when i want to do it, regardless of what people think of me, some people call it disrespectful, i call it freedom. Ive learned no one gives you power, you TAKE it. When you want something you demand it. i never go back to an old lover, bc its like going to a fridge and drinking the same spoiled milk over and over, it doesnt change no matter how many chances you give him or the milk. People think at the end of the day that a man is the only answer [to fulfillment]. Actually a job is better for me. I couldn't give a rat's tutu about your emotional distress, i have my own, and i keep it to myself, you know why?! bc no one cares, take care of yourself. dont rely on someone to make you happy, bc everyone will let you down at some point. So expect the very least out of people;; this way no one can ever hurt you, and if they turn out being genuine kind hearted people then you gained something without expecting it...."

2/14/2013 10:25:32 AM

You need new friends. And rat's tutu, wtf is that?

2/14/2013 10:33:26 AM

Not a friend. It if were though, you would be correct

2/14/2013 1:15:17 PM

Quote :

"I wouldn't want to spend Valentines Day any other way than sharing the love of Christ to those in prison. Can't wait for what the Holy Spirit is going to do tonight!"

I'm a little worried my cousin might be in some sort of cult

2/14/2013 6:14:46 PM

smh...why would you even share this?

2/15/2013 5:39:31 PM

Quote :

"Pat McCrory is the man!!!"

2/19/2013 12:11:07 AM

lol

2/19/2013 8:29:50 AM

Quote :

""When you try to appease everyone, you satisfy no one." Pat Mccrory. Pat is the man "

2/19/2013 8:37:44 AM

Quote :

"my fetus is all like I AM THE 5%"

HAHAHAHA is that fake?

2/19/2013 11:37:37 AM

2/19/2013 12:04:18 PM

Quote :

"No wonder this guy is the boss, he is sharp!"

2/19/2013 12:08:20 PM

To be fair if that is the excuse that he is going with whether right or wrong I'd say that was actually a pretty fair way to go about it.

2/19/2013 12:12:05 PM

nuh uh, how about laying off everyone who voted for the guy that was in office when the whole economic meltdown started, not the guy who's having to deal with it!!!!11

2/19/2013 12:14:03 PM

Quote :

"To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. And those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, At the end of the year we would have absorbed More than 1 kilo of E. Coli bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) Because alcohol has to go through a purification process Of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, Than to drink water and be full of shit... There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service "

2/25/2013 10:01:53 AM

Quote :

"HAHAHAHA is that fake?"

nope. friend of a friend. friend sent it to me showing how stupid this girl is posting this.

2/25/2013 10:55:31 AM

Quote :

"I never know how to take it when people are like "I thought you were going to be a bitch, before I met you. Now that I know you, I'm shocked as to how sweet you are. I will never judge a book by it's cover again"...? Humm... Well I'm shy, quiet (unless I'm drunk), I rather guys treat me like a guy & not a girl, I don't like being center of attention bc it makes me nervous & awkward, I have the most retarded laugh EVER, I'm a nerd (I used to collect comic books & be in a bowling league), growing up I got picked on for the way I look, It takes A LOT for me to dislike someone, I don't know how to be fake, and I don't go out the way to say hi to people who look like they don't want to be bothered or I don't know well... Take the time to get to know someone before you judge them. They might be the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what you thought!! ?"

2/25/2013 12:20:56 PM

Sounds like a dating profile

2/25/2013 12:43:26 PM

Quote :

"I find it amusing when I’m not gaga over a guy who easily gets girls and they seem offended by it… I’m sorry, I don’t care how pretty your face is or how great your body is, if your personality is anything short than amazing & we don’t have chemistry, then I’m gonna treat you like just a regular person. No need to be a dick… It’s not you, it’s me "

2/26/2013 12:19:45 PM

i never knew how stupid some people were until facebook started allowing status updates.


and i'm sure someone somewhere has said the same about me.

2/26/2013 2:10:29 PM

Person I went to high school with "Shares" every single post/advertisement that the local animal shelter makes (and the shelters from surrounding counties too). That's not really a big deal, except its usually about 10 posts in a row, all of really sad-looking dogs in cages and sob stories about how the shelter picked the dog up and how playful it is, etc.

But even that I could handle with some speed scrolling right past it. But now all the posts read: "LAST DAY 3/01" plus all the normal pictures and stories.

talk about your Facebook buzzkills, jesus . . . . .

2/26/2013 2:41:10 PM

Quote :

"ughhh i feel like i cant get anything done when it seems like everything and everyone is in my way"

lol at the morbidly obese annoying as fuck chick that posted this.

2/26/2013 2:45:36 PM

Minka is doing the same thing in the thinking thread lol

2/26/2013 2:49:52 PM

^^^ Seems like most people who do that grow out of it in a couple weeks/months.

[Edited on February 26, 2013 at 2:50 PM. Reason : .]

2/26/2013 2:50:37 PM

2/26/2013 2:51:40 PM

2/26/2013 5:52:43 PM

Jr. looks like a burn victim there

2/26/2013 5:57:55 PM

I'm just tired of girls omitting their last name in favor of a first and middle name.

YOU ARE NOT A CELEBRITY. NO ONE GIVES A FUCK.

2/27/2013 7:58:22 PM

^agreed...I've made many jokes towards them.

2/27/2013 8:35:09 PM

Quote :

"TOP-10 "Only In America” Observations 10. Only in America ...could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 a plate campaign fund-raising event. 9. Only in America ...could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General, and roughly 18% of the federal workforce is black while only 12% of the population is black. 8. Only in America ...could they have had the two people most responsible for our tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes. 7. Only in America ...can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash. 6. Only in America ...would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just 'magically' become American citizens. 5. Only in America ...could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country's Constitution be thought of as "extremists." 4. Only in America ...could you need to present a driver's license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote. 3. Only in America ...could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike). 2. Only in America ...could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year - for total spending of $7-Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn't have nearly enough money. 1. Only in America ...could the rich people - who pay 86% of all income taxes, be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all."

3/4/2013 4:23:21 PM

Was that Facebook or The Soapbox?

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

3/4/2013 4:25:58 PM

Facebook

3/4/2013 4:28:57 PM

Quote :

"Sage advice from a security guard: earn a formal education and you can make a living, become self educated and you can make a fortune"

This coming from a lawyer who came from money. Douche.

3/5/2013 9:19:45 AM