Quote :

"“The billionaires in the basin control this water," Gleick explained. "They store it in dams all winter so they can ship almonds to China in the summer. The idea that this water was just sitting there waiting for L.A.’s fire hoses is absurd.” Meanwhile, California Sen. Adam Schiff was outraged—not just at the wasted water but at what it meant for his social calendar. “This is an absolute disaster,” Schiff fumed. “Spago had to cancel three of my fundraising dinners. Three! Do you have any idea how hard it is to reschedule that kind of thing in L.A.?” Beyond the fine dining debacle, Schiff warned that the water dump could have caused catastrophic flooding."

2/3/2025 7:08:27 PM

It'd be nice if you posted the source for your quotes.

2/4/2025 10:33:53 AM

He made those edited quotes up as a joke.

2/4/2025 12:05:45 PM

Got em. Almonds do be thirsty doe.

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/sep/14/alarm-almond-farmers-drain-california-dry

2/4/2025 1:29:48 PM

^^I should have suspected. More of a reason not to take his shtick seriously.

2/4/2025 1:52:13 PM

At least now I know that CaelNCSU is a bullshitter making shit up rather than someone who actually debates with facts. Fucking waste of time, but you do you.

2/4/2025 3:18:10 PM

but isn't it essentially the same rhetorical/comedic technique jon stewart used his entire career, and our generation ate that up. seems like a pretty outrageous conclusion to reach for such a transparently goofy post

2/4/2025 3:30:45 PM

Satire is a thing, and almonds do use a lot of water, and one would expect a California congressman to listen to his billionaire almond donors. When we used to drive down 99 going to Yosemite you'd see almond trees for what seemed like hundreds of miles.

There's a political theory saying that the most fun party is the one that gets the most votes. I don't remember what it's called. The left did seem to get way less fun soon as Jon Stewart left in 2015. I suspected if he didn't leave in 2015 Trump would not have won in 2016.


[Edited on February 4, 2025 at 3:35 PM. Reason : A]

2/4/2025 3:31:02 PM

I assumed it was a Babylon bee thing

2/4/2025 4:33:51 PM

^^^I don't remember any Daily Show host ever make up a quote out of whole cloth and presenting it as if it were real.

And actually, I'm still actually trying to understand how this qualifies as satire, anyway. I mean, it states the water was intended for farming, and releasing it nearly caused a flood. As far as I know, that's all true. Is that supposed to be funny? The only thing close to funny is:

“Spago had to cancel three of my fundraising dinners. Three! Do you have any idea how hard it is to reschedule that kind of thing in L.A.?”

That's a long way to go to make a joke like that. Referencing the fire and water isn't even necessary. That quote alone is every bit as "funny" as the made up quote.

I guess it's just such a shitty joke that I didn't even recognize it as one.

2/4/2025 6:33:26 PM

I'll try to post more news articles blankly with no critical thinking or attempts at humor next time.

The Spago quote was also made up.

[Edited on February 4, 2025 at 7:35 PM. Reason : A]

2/4/2025 7:28:28 PM

It was pretty clear those were fake if you read them.

2/4/2025 7:38:57 PM

^I guess the fact it isn't funny is what confused me.

2/4/2025 8:53:35 PM

Quote :

"This satire is poking fun at California’s water management, the power of wealthy agricultural interests, and the perceived priorities of politicians. Here's why it's funny: 1. Exposing the Absurdity of Water Control – The first paragraph highlights how California’s water is tightly controlled by wealthy interests, particularly almond farmers who use massive amounts of it for export. The joke is that while this water could have been used for firefighting, it was instead hoarded for economic gain, making the idea of it being "available" ridiculous. 2. Mocking Political Elitism – The joke about Adam Schiff being more upset about his fundraising dinners than the actual disaster satirizes how politicians are often perceived as being more concerned with their social lives and donors than real crises. 3. Hyperbolic Contrast – The idea that wasted water could lead to catastrophic flooding is ironic. It exaggerates the typical bureaucratic overreaction or mismanagement of resources—highlighting how California swings between drought and flood mismanagement. Humor Rating: 8/10 This is well-constructed satire. It effectively blends truth and exaggeration, mocks elitist concerns, and highlights systemic inefficiencies. It’s especially funny to those familiar with California politics and water disputes. However, if you’re not in on the joke (i.e., don’t know about almond farming’s water use or L.A.’s political fundraising culture), some of the humor might be lost. "

2/4/2025 9:01:32 PM

Show the prompt

2/4/2025 9:08:57 PM

Scientifically proven satire!

If you don't believe it's that funny, take it from a computer that's smarter than you. Computers KNOW humor!

2/4/2025 9:09:27 PM

^^

Quote :

"Can you explain this satire and why it's funny and rate it: The billionaires in the basin control this water," Gleick explained. "They store it in dams all winter so they can ship almonds to China in the summer. The idea that this water was just sitting there waiting for L.A.’s fire hoses is absurd.” Meanwhile, California Sen. Adam Schiff was outraged—not just at the wasted water but at what it meant for his social calendar. “This is an absolute disaster,” Schiff fumed. “Spago had to cancel three of my fundraising dinners. Three! Do you have any idea how hard it is to reschedule that kind of thing in L.A.?” Beyond the fine dining debacle, Schiff warned that the water dump could have caused catastrophic flooding." "

2/4/2025 9:14:34 PM

^^^^

1. Both farming and and fighting fires are productive uses of water, and it's difficult to project how much water is used for this or that. It might be funny if you're ignorant and think that projections like that are easy, but if you know how fucking hard it is, it's not really funny. Just like the supposed "joke" about "Well why isn't the whole plane made out of the same stuff the black box is, dur hur hur". The comedian thinks he's making a profound point that somehow the makers of the plane just overlooked. But no, if we did that, the plane wouldn't be able to fly, dumbass. It's not funny, unless you simply want to laugh at the person for being a dumbass.

2. That may be mildly funny.

3. The idea that it could cause a flood is very real; mocking that notion is as moronic as wondering why the plane isn't built like a black box is. And regarding the uses of water for agriculture vs firefighting vs whatever; I've already mentioned how projections for how much water is used for what is difficult.

Sometimes the reason a person finds certain things funny is because they are a moron who thinks these things have easy solutions when in fact they're simply too ignorant to understand how complex they really are.

And artificial intelligence sucks at understanding humor.

[Edited on February 4, 2025 at 9:43 PM. Reason : ]

[Edited on February 4, 2025 at 9:43 PM. Reason : ]

2/4/2025 9:39:48 PM

asking AI if something you’ve written is funny is just about as sad as it gets when it comes to humor

2/4/2025 9:42:28 PM

^^^

Lol, please. I'm calling bullshit on that. If that's all your prompt was, why did it immediately jump to judging its satirical quality? Such a lucky guess that that's exactly what you were wanting!!!

No, what you posted is the "data". You didn't post how you prompted the AI to actually analyze the satirical quality of that data. So now I'm curious, too: Tell us how you really prompted it to get that response.

.....Or maybe this was just another joke that went over my head, lol.

Never mind, I do see you included that part at the beginning. Sorry.

[Edited on February 4, 2025 at 9:50 PM. Reason : ]

2/4/2025 9:48:57 PM

I can't believe that was seriously compared to the Daily Show.

The only thing even identifiable as a joke attempt is the Spago thing. I thought it might be Babylon bee except I'm used to a higher attempted joke density with them.

2/4/2025 9:49:59 PM

you mean to tell that one dipshits attempt at humor is not the same as one of the greatest political satire shows in the history of the medium, filled with some of the greatest writers/researchers/producers/hosts of all time??

I’m gonna need to ask ChatGPT about this one

[Edited on February 4, 2025 at 10:02 PM. Reason : .]

2/4/2025 10:01:52 PM

I’m predicting that sometime in the next few months, Vivek turns on MAGA

2/4/2025 11:15:24 PM

I predict he's in the shadows and never heard from again, unless he starts a podcast or entertainment company.

2/5/2025 6:26:22 AM

Wait, so what really happened to him?

2/5/2025 7:57:04 AM

Vivek?

He posted that Americans were fat, dumb and lazy and H1Bs were better and smarter the right seethed. There have been rumors that Vivek is all talk and didn't do the heavy lifting when DOGE started and that gave them the opportunity to eject him from the project.

2/5/2025 8:23:28 AM

Quote :

"He posted that Americans were fat, dumb and lazy and H1Bs were better and smarter"

Nttawwt

2/5/2025 10:03:52 AM

https://www.vox.com/politics/398068/trump-musk-power-grab-hungary-orban

Good article. By the time you wait for some sort of rubric to be fully filled out it’s too late

2/5/2025 10:21:41 AM

Quote :

"He posted that Americans were fat, dumb and lazy and H1Bs were better and smarter"

The right continues with its inability to cope with objective truth.

2/5/2025 10:51:32 AM

I've only ever worked with amazing H1Bs at Amazon. Everywhere else it's mega tragic how bad they are. If they spent half what they spend lobbying for more H1Bs on developing and identifying autists at home there probably wouldn't be as much push back. Their is some nerdy white or black kid in a trailer while his mom smokes meth playing Minecraft that could hack Linux.

Why not earmark some of these efforts to people here already? Maybe focus on ones who's communities were wrecked by NAFTA.

[Edited on February 5, 2025 at 12:20 PM. Reason : A]

2/5/2025 12:19:28 PM

Quote :

"WHO IS COMMUNITIES"

2/5/2025 1:21:29 PM

LOOK AT THIS GRAMMAR NAZI!

2/5/2025 1:52:30 PM

Go ahead and post it up on the Twitters so the goon squad can come take me out of my misery.

2/5/2025 1:59:33 PM

Quote :

"I can't believe that was seriously compared to the Daily Show."

The Daily Show is kind of boring, it eventually just feels like a bunch of 30-40 somethings just trying to cope and act "hip". Even the Jon Stewart ones are kind of tiring now. I watch a clip every once in a while though

It feels yuppified, unauthentic compared to the older clips, and even to those of Trevor Noah. "babeeee we got the lottery tickets for the daily show..." "OMG, check their pets policy, I hope we can take our baby [a dog]". Not necessarily the fault of the hosts, just feels like that's their audience, you even see it in how they react to some of the jokes

[Edited on February 5, 2025 at 2:45 PM. Reason : 123]

2/5/2025 2:37:22 PM

Quote :

"asking AI if something you’ve written is funny is just about as sad as it gets when it comes to humor"

I'm surprised noone brought up German Funny Bot.

2/6/2025 12:29:58 PM

https://bsky.app/profile/narosenblum.bsky.social/post/3lhja4w3mjc2h

Pam Bondi just sent a memo telling DOJ they don’t serve the Constitution, they serve Trump

2/6/2025 2:14:45 PM

That seems problematic.

The DOJ is not comprised of the President's lawyers.

2/6/2025 3:18:09 PM

But but, deep state!

2/6/2025 3:42:06 PM

^^ at least one of his personal lawyers is in there now...

2/6/2025 4:03:08 PM

Isn't this demand for DOJ employees to just do what they're told whether they agree with it or not in direct contravention to what they are doing in parallel with the January 6 investigation purge? That is, singling out people who participated in an investigation as instructed?

2/6/2025 6:51:04 PM

Project 2025 architect is in as budget director

Trump lied about this and project 2025 remained unpopular throughout the election. Will be interesting to see if anyone can figure out how to use this to pressure gop congresspeople

2/6/2025 10:10:59 PM

^^, no, because you've got the directives wrong. It's not "do as you're told" vs "don't do partisan investigations." It's "do whatever Trump wants" in both cases. That's the only overarching principle here.

^ good luck with that. You had to be willfully obtuse to buy the GOP line during the 2024 election that a campaign made up of people responsible for writing Project 2025 had no intentions of implementing that set of policies. You aren't going to change any minds based on their malfeasance alone. We are well past the point where anyone who would care about that would be swayed to change sides.

2/6/2025 11:05:50 PM

Quote :

"NEW: President Trump's hiring freeze has stopped the onboarding of seasonal federal firefighters, including those who work for agencies called on to help battle the devastating L.A. fires, creating a potential shortfall ahead of the next fire season. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trumps-freeze-stalls-federal-firefighter-hiring-rcna191001 "

The budget freeze and usaid and anti dei has hurt so, so many people. I have 2 high school friends impacted so far, one from Usaid (his story is tragic — had to leave most of his possessions behind) and one in a biology research program thats being killed.

I only had 1 person I knew with a family member that died from COVID for comparison.

2/6/2025 11:15:30 PM

my brother is a biomedical engineer for the VA hospital and is considered a "DEI" hire since he was hired at the VA under a "veterans first" program which gave veterans special consideration over other candidates AT THE VA. he was a biomedical engineer in the air force during the majority of his career of over 20 years.

he received an email last week asking him to voluntarily resign or wait it out with no promises of continued employment in the coming future. wtf???

[Edited on February 6, 2025 at 11:54 PM. Reason : support the troops???]

2/6/2025 11:52:50 PM

https://bsky.app/profile/ericlipton.nytimes.com/post/3lhkj4zzyoc2k

They’re s effectively halting the federal buildout of EV chargers. Nuts. We’re really exited the world of idiocracy where they at least had advanced technology, to be in the world of don’t look up, where they reject science and progress

This must be how the dark ages started out.

2/7/2025 10:21:41 AM

Yeah the massive investments in AI infrastructure, power, and Mars rockets along with an administration that's heavily tech centered means we are antiscience and dark ages

2/7/2025 12:28:26 PM

^Let's not forget a refusal to acknowledge climate change, a refusal to invest in renewable energy, a lowering of standards for education! This admin is literally dripping science!!

2/7/2025 2:36:29 PM

^It's just a prank, bro!

2/7/2025 4:16:00 PM

Good reminder that trump ]disavowed project 2025 to the point of leaking that any authors would be blacklisted

It polled as unpopular throughout the election

Might be the biggest bait and switch in election history
“
This Politico story from last October shows how easy it is to launder lies through the press. It claimed Trump would ban anyone tied to Project 2025 from a job in a second Trump administration.
“Clearly people working on Project 2025 are blacklisted,” said an unidentified Trump insider.
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/10/16/trump-transition-hiring-staffer-ban-00183208
“

2/8/2025 2:53:49 PM

Cabbage had a really good counter to that cael user

2/8/2025 5:23:21 PM