Motherfucking this thread should win a emmy

3/25/2006 10:42:36 PM

what if the zombies are having a better time than the humans?

and do they decompose into nothing if they dont have anything else to eat?

i think it would be cool to have a big hamster ball that they couldnt break into, and you can roll about and bounce off of them

3/25/2006 10:51:52 PM

NATURE FINDS A WAY

3/26/2006 12:45:51 AM

i'd set up zombie booby traps. like, have a few chainsaw blades set up and going in a confined area, and set some "bait" on the other side of the chainsaws... watch zombies walk through while being decapitated.

3/26/2006 2:05:13 AM

That'd be a huge investment with minimal reward. Acquiring all the necessary parts, assembling them, and maintaining them would take up a huge amount of time and exposure to risk, for what? The maiming of a few zombies in an entertaining way?

Booby traps are fine only when these conditions are satisfied:

1) You have absolutely nothing productive you could be doing with your time.
2) You don't have to expose yourself to any risk of zombification to set up the traps.

Otherwise, it's just not worth it...traps would be entertainment rather than a viable defense.

3/26/2006 2:28:45 AM

^well entertainment was kindof the point.
i wouldn't think something like that could keep me safe!

3/26/2006 2:40:00 AM

Oh, well, in that case, carry on...but don't put yourself at any risk you wouldn't normally put yourself through for a few minutes of entertainment.

Actually, with advice like that, you might get killed pretty fast.

No traps under any circumstances.

3/26/2006 2:41:41 AM

of course i wouldn't put myself at risk. that would be dumb. I'd make sure my group left the door open for me so i could make a quick escape back into our compound if the zombies noticed i was outside.

3/26/2006 12:38:37 PM

I'm making a bee-line for the nearest Wal-Mart Superstore They usually don't put windows on the front of the store so it would be relatively easy to secure. Inside is enough food, clothing, firearms and medicine to support a small group for years. And by small group I mean my concubines.

[Edited on March 26, 2006 at 2:02 PM. Reason : Water use would be an issue...]

3/26/2006 2:02:22 PM

the problem with walmart is that it's on the ground level. it's much easier to protect against zombies if all you have to do is barricade a few stairwells.

3/26/2006 2:15:57 PM

i'll be there

3/26/2006 2:16:40 PM

^^just bathe in sams choice diet cola

3/26/2006 2:16:47 PM

apparently someone shot 7 people at a "better off undead" party. and then killed himself when the police showed up.
the lesson, as always, zombies + guns = dead humans

3/26/2006 2:36:21 PM

Well this thread will have its 1 year aniversary in 13 days! yay!

ok, me and my friend limited ourselves to being on the ground running, against walkers, with only three weapons.

1 melee, 1 handgun 1 main weapon

Our load out choices were
Me: Hitori Hanso sword(kill bill), p228 pistol, m4a1 extended clip.
Him: Hitori Hanso sword, .45 cal, 12 guage buck shot pump shot gun.

then we got into the best armor type for the situation and he mentioned that a halo type armor would be extremely benificial and the spawn outfit wouldnt be to bad either.

But realistically I would go with samurai armor, its light, flexible, and it worked against swords and shit so it must work against zombies.

4/3/2006 11:07:13 AM

i know who's going to be one of the first zombies

4/3/2006 11:09:01 AM

well, given the choice of load outs(which we would never get realistically) I think its pretty good choice

4/3/2006 11:10:30 AM

I wonder just how many emo kids would throw themselves at the zombies in an envious rage at their even greater appearance of displeasure with life, moaning, and depression?

4/3/2006 11:11:28 AM

the last time i was at the cradle, i saw a sticker for zombiedefense.org

4/3/2006 11:12:11 AM

you guys have a fairly distorted view of emo

granted, it sucks

but it isn't what you ascribe to it

4/3/2006 11:12:48 AM

Being accurate and realistic were not my top priorities with a joke in a thread in chit chat entitled “ZOMBIE INVASION STRIKES RALIEGH!!! RUN!!!!”

4/3/2006 11:17:37 AM

^lol

baseball bat for me. much more effective than that lame movie sword.

4/3/2006 11:22:19 AM

http://www.neptunic.com/



[Edited on April 3, 2006 at 12:09 PM. Reason : + ]

4/3/2006 12:06:37 PM

go visit my buddy and his "closet o death". grab one of the 60+ weapons in there (probably the competition AR15), and an ammo can. climb on top of some tall building like DH Hill and make my stand there.

in reality i'd drive to my national guard unit in burlington and wait for orders.

4/3/2006 1:44:06 PM

I want a semi auto .22 rifle and a machete

4/3/2006 1:56:39 PM

Bringing in more Kill Bill references, what about the flying ball of death wielded by Gogo?

Used effectively, it could alternately slice off zombie heads or crush them in a wide defensive circle.

But lacking that training, I think my melee weapon would be the battle axe used by Hamish in Braveheart. Long handle + double blade = zombie heads will roll

4/3/2006 2:20:24 PM

^^ How the fuck are you going to put down a zombie with a .22....unless it's a 22-250. You need skull penetrating power people. Shotguns are a bad idea too. If the zombie are that close, chances are you're dead already. I'd go with a M4 carbine or a Sig556.

4/3/2006 2:46:56 PM

you can't hope to hold off the number of attackers that you would be facing with fucking guns. you will run out of ammo, not be able to shoot fast enough, have your gun jam, or something else will go wrong, and you will be SOL. your only hope is to develop physical barriers that the zombies can't penetrate. then you can go about doing other things such as eating, sleeping, etc.

4/3/2006 2:57:54 PM

hahaha i'm going to use one of these

4/3/2006 4:27:56 PM

^^well how are you going to get to your reinforced position? We've already covered the necessity of weapons early in the thread. You can't just assume you'll have easy access to a barricadable position. And besides, haven't you played Half Life? Guns do work on zombies, it just takes an assload of ammo.

4/3/2006 4:40:35 PM

Just get one of those bags where you can pull out what you need whenever you need it.

4/3/2006 6:38:21 PM

it just takes an assload of ammo.

4/3/2006 7:40:34 PM

from the resident evil games, I have learned that grenades are very effective against large groups of zombies

4/3/2006 8:33:09 PM

grenades are effective against a large group of anything fleshy

4/3/2006 8:36:20 PM

4/3/2006 8:40:23 PM

oh man oh man, this would be a dream come true... Me, my .30-06, .22, M4 carbine w/ extras, 12 guage, and M9 pistollys, some redneck friends and their hardware, and a fucking bunch of beer would chill on my 3rd floor apt overlooking the back parking lot at UH and pick em off. Baracade the door and have a gun slot for the shotty. Fuck yes, this would kick ass. I need to order some tracers just incase this ever happens... would make playing the where's waldo game on em eaisier.....

4/3/2006 8:41:59 PM

now, you'd have to stock up on supplies in your plan. you are never going to shoot all of the zombies.

4/3/2006 8:45:30 PM

well, of course... we'd get mad top raimen. oh, and for when we run out of ammo, we'll have one (or two) of those homemade flamethrowers i made a post about a while back and my blazer or somen half way across the parking lot (no fun if its by the door right?) with chainsaws and nailguns and shit for the escape.

Oh, and mad bitches too. if they have bfs, we have bullets, war's hell baby (sorry, thought he was a zombie...wanna beer?)

oh, and you can really stockpile up on 5.56mm rds. cheap as shit on the net. Penetrators, tracer, incendiary, FMJ, hollowpoint (never separate right...), whatever you please....

4/3/2006 8:53:38 PM

you can't live off of ramen. there would be nutrients your body needs that it can't get from ramen. you'd probably get scurvy.

4/3/2006 8:56:43 PM

all you need is .22s

all you have to do is pop them in the head

4/3/2006 8:56:55 PM

Quote :

"you can't live off of ramen."

But you can make ramen the *majority* of your meals and be okay. I know from experience.

4/3/2006 10:36:53 PM

^see...and i figure there will be enough roaming housepets we can get protien from... we'll devise a snare of some sort to hang from the 3rd floor, and i have a shit load of bird shot for the 12 guage sitting around...

ok, after reading through this thread a bit, i want GrumpyGOP to tag along to figure out all the logistics while i shoot shit

[Edited on April 3, 2006 at 11:05 PM. Reason : Grumpy, your're comming too]

4/3/2006 10:43:43 PM

where are you people buying your weapons???

im sticking with a bat. the documentaries agree 100% on this. zombies + guns = dead mortals. zombies + bats = happy, alive mortals

GRENADES?!?!

4/3/2006 11:36:43 PM

You know, if the zombies attacked right now, I'd be very unprepared. Taking stock of what I have in my apartment, the only weapons are knives (too short), broom sticks (too weak) and a lamp pole (maybe). I do have enough food to last a month if I rationed. I am on the third floor, and there are two stairwells that I could block with furniture to at least slow them down. I also have roof access in the hall right outside my door if I needed to get up there for some reason.

After a quick check, i realized that the metal table legs of the kitchen table would be perfect, and if they snatch one I have three more in it's place.

So, I think I could survive reasonably well if the zombies attacked right now. But if you're my roomate and you're not here, you're fucked. I'm clogging the stairwell with your shit, not mine.

4/3/2006 11:47:15 PM

well, the guns are here. and im not tryin to get that close... flamethrower for inside 40 feet

4/3/2006 11:48:14 PM

i think most of us can agree that fire is ultimately ineffective against zombies.

4/4/2006 12:10:18 AM

but it would be fun

4/4/2006 1:18:24 AM

i fucking hate zombies

4/4/2006 1:32:45 AM

the chances you would end up getting burned to death after lighting the zombies on fire is way too high.

on the other hand... fire IS funny.

4/4/2006 10:24:40 PM

^ha, yeah, thought about that, set em on fire, then a burning zombie wants to eat you. fuck that

4/4/2006 10:29:23 PM

they would just walk around catching everything on fire

4/4/2006 11:01:54 PM