21

1000 posts of Bill Brasky, the biggest son of a bitch there ever was.

2/10/2007 2:07:45 AM

Bill Brasky in 2008!

2/10/2007 3:13:34 AM

2/10/2007 4:44:17 AM

Brasky wrote the screenplay for the movie Norbit based on real-life events after Brasky and Steve-O went on a PCP trip that lasted 5 days.

The rest of the trilogy is due out next year.

2/10/2007 11:13:25 AM

"He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health."

YEEEEESSS, BTTT

[Edited on February 10, 2007 at 11:46 AM. Reason : BTTT]

2/10/2007 11:45:49 AM

Brasky once sired an entire litter of children with Anna Nicole Smith.

3/2/2007 3:58:27 PM

They got the idea for depleted uranium rounds from a kidney stone that Bill Brasky passed

right through an Abrams tank

3/31/2007 2:00:31 AM

That Bill Brasky. Back in the 60's we decided to go to a dog-fighting pit on the virgina/north carolina border after Bill got tired of hearin about Muhamad Ali from that fucking spainyard Howard Cosell all the damn time and not a word about Brasky even though Bill has a shoe-box full of 8mm reels of him beating, raping, killing and rucessitating a (then) peek conditioned Ali at a series of poorly funded underground church bake-sales. Anyways, we drive up to the play-ground where the fights are and Brasky enters me in the bracket as a 4-1 favorite over any other dog. Everyone knows I'm Brasky's dog, so the odds shoot through the roof. He takes the collar off of me before the final round and tells me to "Take a dive ass-hole". Well of course I listen to the man and let a 200lb rotweiler tear my throat out and lose the match.
All of the sudden a 7 foot tall beast of a man steps up to Bill and has the balls to call Brasky a cheat. Bill was still hung-over, so instead of killing him, he decides to give him a chance to win in a shouting match with him. After 26 hours of earth-shattering yelling, the trainer backs down and has to admit Bill didn't cheat. The man's voice was never the same after that and besides, part of the deal was he was never allowed to speak english again anyway. Brasky feels bad for the guy so he pulls his dog out of the ring, skins it alive and stitches it's hide to the guy and says "At least now you can earn some coin". The funny thing is Brasky never had to raise his voice, curling irons are now banned in six North Carolina counties, and the only character in any Star Wars movie that didn't need make-up or costume was Chewbacca

3/31/2007 2:08:25 PM

Bill Braskys favorite food is eggs!

4/5/2007 8:36:52 AM

I just found out a cheese sandwich with the image of Brasky is on eBay, and the winning bid (so far) is the collected souls of every mormon in the entire world.

4/9/2007 12:14:43 PM

So i tell Brasky i want to go skydiving, next thing i know me and Brasky are enlisting in the 101st airbone. The next day brasky and me steal and a C-130 and go out for our first jumps. Brasky is flying the plane alone, so i ask him how long he knew how to fly planes, he says 23 min and we had been flying for 37 min at this point. So we get ready to jump and before we jump Brasky goes into the cockpit duct tapes a bottle of jack daniels to the pilots seat. He says "this here bottle will land the plane", so we jump. The plane immediatly nose dived and crashed into a local orphanage, errupting into flames and killing everyone in a 100 yard radius. Anyway the point of the story is that i can't locate my pants.

4/9/2007 12:22:41 PM

Bill Brasky never takes the trash can out to the corner for pick up. Instead he just grabs the garbage bag and throws it out the window. Now you might think that Brasky's lawn would be covered in refuse. But I was at the dump the other day, and damn if one of Brasky's trash bags didn't come flying in and land right on the garbage pile.

I knew it was Brasky's trash because the bag was full of woolly mammoth bones and love letters from several former Presidents.

5/2/2007 11:21:37 PM

Brasky knows how to divide by zero, but he's not going to tell you how to do it

5/21/2007 3:26:55 PM

^ chuck norris is the only guy that can divide by zero!

5/21/2007 3:43:12 PM

Quote :

"woolly mammoth"

thats so brasky

5/21/2007 6:29:48 PM

Please

Please, don't let this thread die, I haven't copied the entirity of its contents yet

6/4/2007 2:18:19 AM

you know brasky, he's a big fella, once killed a bear with his bear hands, no not his hands, but the bear's hands, his bare hands

6/4/2007 11:05:25 AM

i masturbate to this thread......

while ceiling brasky watches!

6/4/2007 11:11:53 AM

Bill Brasky's sperm can outswim Michael Phelps.

6/4/2007 4:35:12 PM

He invented the spork!

6/5/2007 11:57:12 AM

Quote :

"[Edited on September 1, 2006 at 12:58 PM. Reason : i just got asked "who is bill brasky?" ]"

why...why he's a 10 foot 2 ton son of a bitch that can eat a hammer and take a shot gun blast standing!

6/6/2007 9:08:12 AM

Hey did I tell you guys about the time Braskey took me on a fishing trip. Well I was on my way to work when braskey hijacked my car and drove it over the Atlantic to Loch Ness. He then proceeded to tie me to one of his pubic hairs and threw me in the lake. Well no sooner had I hit the water when the Loch ness monster comes strait to me. I'll be damned if Braskey didn't pick that son of a bitch up and rape him right on the hood of my ford pinto. Needless to say they drink together every wednesday now and my car hangs in the Smithsonian.

6/6/2007 10:52:30 AM

In order to win a bet with Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Bill Brasky swam to Japan, rescued Amelia Earhart from her secret prison, raped her, peeled all her skin and muscles from her body, and used her bones to create the Barrel of Monkeys game.

6/7/2007 4:30:50 PM

Speaking of Japan, did you know Brasky has committed seppuku not once, not twice, but thrice?

6/12/2007 2:46:40 PM

He's the 4th branch of government!

6/26/2007 11:39:36 AM

One time in college, I asked Bill to help me study for my Irish lit exam. He told me he had a foolproof plan! So Bill covers the collected works of James Joyce in nacho cheese and jalapenos, and I watch as he devours the whole enchilada and washes it down with a bottle of whiskey. Two bottles of whiskey!

The next day, he walks into my class, pulls down his khakis, and without sayin' a word, that son-of-a-bitch Bill drops a two-pound woodpulp steamer on the professor's desk. It was five pounds if it was an ounce! Bill wasn't even in the class, but we both got an A!

7/6/2007 5:21:16 PM

Did I ever tell you guys about the time Brasky broke my new TV? Well, Brasky felt just terrible, so he walked all the way down to South America and kidnapped several highly respected politicians. Next thing I know, Brasky is forcing them at gunpoint in my living room to re-enact the episode of ER that I happened to miss, and I'll be damned if it wasn't twice as good as the real thing!

7/6/2007 5:27:38 PM

I seriously ruin whatever underpants I'm wearing when a good brasky post shows up here and I have to buy a whole pack of tighty whities to replace the burlap that just go soiled

KEEP THE COUNTRY STTRONG

BUY BRASKY BONDS

7/6/2007 5:29:29 PM

this one time bill brasky took me out for a drink. We go to a parking lot and wait a year for a bar to be built. When the bar finally opens he buys me a drink then as we are walking out he starts a fire burning the bar to the ground. He turns to me and says 'leave things the way you find them' What a son of a bitch

7/6/2007 10:12:23 PM

TO BILL BRASKY!!!

7/6/2007 10:13:51 PM

bttt

7/22/2007 2:11:35 PM

thank christ




or thank Brasky!

7/22/2007 2:12:42 PM

ok what is this thread about? i am ceriose.

yes i know i can google who this brasky dude is, but i would rather hear it from tdub.

sounds like he is some comedian...? never heard of him.

7/22/2007 2:20:49 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_brasky

7/22/2007 2:28:21 PM

The phrase "No matter where you go, there you are" actually came down through the ages from an old Cherokee phrase that translates:"No matter where you...shit, is that Bill Brasky? AW HELL, RUN!"

7/22/2007 2:38:29 PM

thanks

(funny quotes there)

funnest:

Quote :

""Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half — until sure enough, someone constructs a bar around us. Well, the day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found 'em!'" "

Quote :

""He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road." "

Quote :

""He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls." "

Quote :

""He orchestrated the merger between UNICEF and Smith & Wesson." "

Quote :

""We once had a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it." "

Quote :

""Did I ever tell you about the time he taught his son how to drive? He did it by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Brasky said it would've happened sometime." "

7/22/2007 2:40:41 PM

Contrary to claims by previous posters, Brasky has never raped a woman. This is because the moment any woman sees Brasky naked all sexual activity from that moment on is considered consensual.

This legal precedence has even been upheld by the Supreme Court in the case of Brasky vs. The Satisfied

7/22/2007 2:47:25 PM

Bill Brasky sleeps eight hours a night!

... well, I guess he was pretty normal when it came to that.

7/22/2007 3:08:38 PM

Bill Brasky knows where Bin Laden is and is not going to say a word until they put "Charles and Charge" back on the air

7/24/2007 11:43:57 AM

A grainy old videotape of Brasky shaving Elanor Roosevelt's genitals with a popsicle stick sold for $4 million dollars at the Sundance Film Festival.

7/24/2007 12:15:17 PM

It was the sight of Brasky's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane.

7/24/2007 1:36:08 PM

^^^ i meant "in charge"

7/24/2007 3:13:41 PM

Wait....

is Bill Brasky the father of Chuck Norris?

or is there no relation?

7/24/2007 3:53:41 PM

^yes there is a relation......



One day ol' Brasky was taking a crap when all of a sudden he sneezed the hardest he's ever sneezed. At that exact same time, a turd was coming out, he was peeing, ejaculating, and bleeding from the anus. He stood up, looked in the the toilet, and named what he saw "Chunk Norris." Norris has since changed his first name for hollywood reasons. But anytime Brasky sees Norris, he yells, "CHUNK!" and ejaculates all over him.

[Edited on July 24, 2007 at 6:09 PM. Reason : ^]

7/24/2007 6:09:19 PM

Brasky sat next to Dennis

7/27/2007 1:00:59 AM

Bill Brasky once knocked a small plane out of the sky with his erect penis!

[Edited on July 27, 2007 at 1:25 AM. Reason : e]

7/27/2007 1:25:31 AM

he drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls!

7/27/2007 1:40:08 AM

haha i just watched the snl clip purfrock embeded...it was pretty good

7/27/2007 1:40:43 AM

During his last exam, Brasky's polyps bit the doctor's fingers clean off.

7/27/2007 9:11:02 AM

Brasky fucked Eve and made Adam watch.

8/2/2007 9:58:58 AM