Leaving aside the 1 and 7 question, there's also this bizarre element to the story:

https://www.brentroad.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=649452

To summarize: Back in 2016, I was unaware of all this drama, and Banjoman messaged me out of the blue asking if he could be my "secret santa," though I wasn't participating in the 2016 TWW Secret Santa, telling me he was going to do it took the "secret" out of the equation, and at no point did I offer to send him anything in return. He said he would take photos of the package at the post office, told me he sent it, said he would contact me 10 days after he sent it, and then...


...nothing. No follow-up and certainly no gift. Which is fine! It was unsolicited and I'd been upfront that I couldn't send him anything, so no harm, no foul. But then I found out about all this other mess (which explains the weird, "This time I'll take a photo of it in the post office!" line), and it has made me wonder what the hell is wrong with Banjoman that he gets his jollies on this fake gift business.

Dave, buddy, we're old friends. Seek help. At the very least, with your handwriting, if your 1's and 7's are really that incomprehensibly bad.

12/4/2019 1:27:34 PM

If we could somehow double BanjoMan's brain power so two cells could rub together and generate some heat, here is how his Flowers for Algernon ass might handle his situation instead.

First, he could send bbehe a short, direct PM expressing genuine regret about the gift and his behavior since without trying to explain or justify anything. For example:

"Hey, I'm sorry about Secret Santa. I clearly haven't made it right, and honestly, I've only made things worse with the way I've posted since. Is there anything I can do to fix it? I realize the answer may be no, but I wanted to at least say I was sorry and ask. Thanks."

Next, he could send a similar PM to Fhqwhgads.

"Hey, I'm sorry that I made a mess of Secret Santa. I understand if you never want me to participate again, but is there anything I can do to help with this year's event or at least bury the hatchet? Like maybe I could buy an ad, LOL. If not, then I'll drop it. I don't want to cause more drama. Either way, I hope it goes well for you this year."

Finally, he could drink a glass of water and shut the fuck up for like four days. It'd work a miracle, I tell ya.

[Edited on December 4, 2019 at 1:28 PM. Reason : jesus it just keeps getting worse]

[Edited on December 4, 2019 at 1:28 PM. Reason : the 49th post on a page is truly the middle child of posts]

12/4/2019 1:27:39 PM

GrumpyGOP, obviously your address has too many 1s and 7s in it, too.

12/4/2019 2:53:51 PM

At least come up with a better lie. The 1s and 7s excuse doesn't even make sense.

12/4/2019 3:41:24 PM

probably he would have been okay with an apology and a "well we all know DHL is shit."

12/4/2019 7:24:56 PM

Quote :

" no one has pointed out that the title says "memorandum" instead of in memoriam "

Dang

12/4/2019 8:03:44 PM

oops

12/4/2019 8:44:16 PM

RIP

12/4/2019 8:49:15 PM

Quote :

"First, he could send bbehe a short, direct PM expressing genuine regret about the gift and his behavior since without trying to explain or justify anything. For example: "

For the record, I swear on my life that I sent that gift to bbehe, and I am not going to say it anymore because this type of cyber harassment is becoming absurd. The entire time that bbehe was calling me a pathetic liar, a loser, or a thief, I was communicating my regrets and apologies about the situation and the desire to make it right, to both him and Fhqwhgads.

For example, the last note that I sent him about the matter:

Quote :

"From : BanjoMan To : bbehe Received : Wednesday April 20, 2016 at 5:25 PM Subject : Re: lol For what it is worth, I really did get you a nice gift. I was very disappointed that you didn't get it, and then I was pissed at how you immediately just assumed that I was lying and wouldn't shut up about it on TWW. I typed my response of "I got mine" to deliberately piss you off because I was angry about the entire situation, but I must say that I was also under some extra pressure at the time and let the SS thing get to me too much. I should have just shut up and got the second gift, obviously. I would like to make this right. Even though it is late, I would still like to make an effort to get you something because I let my frustrations get to me and blew my chance when I should have just accepted the fact that your gift was lost and bought you something new. Although it is no good excuse, during my divorce/separation with my wife, I was uncharacteristically pissy and mean to some of my close friends, and I have been trying to make it up to each of them since. I would like to have another shot at this, and you don't even have to post about it on TWW if you don't want to, but, I also understand if you want to just let the situation die as it is and move on. That being said, are you a fan of actual country music? -David "

but the whole time, he would not stop at throwing the daggers. At one point, while I was trying to figure this out, Fhqwhgads sent me this gem:

Quote :

" From : Fhqwhgads To : BanjoMan Received : Wednesday January 13, 2016 at 12:09 PM Subject : Re: help please I've relayed every message that you've sent me about the gift. He knows that you were sending something else. He just wants attention I think "

Due to me being harassed to where I felt like complete shit, I have agonized over what could have been wrong for years. For one, the fact that he changed his addressed around the time that I shipped my package might be an explanation as to why it didn't get there.

And yes, I wasn't a tourist abroad. I lived and worked there and adopted a lot of their methods such as writing my dates and numbers in the German way. Since I have come back to the US, I have sent packages to my son in Essen that never got there, and the post office themselves were confused about my numbers and told me that it would be best to print out the labels, but this is all a product of me going over and over this because y'all just would not stop beating me up about it.

But, what is this point in all of this? Seriously, if this happened in the actual world, and a cousin or colleague shipped you a gift for Christmas that never should up, the answer every fucking time would be:

"Shit happens, thanks for trying. I've lost packages, too. How are you doing by the way?"

You wouldn't call everybody up and call said person a dirty little lying thief. That shit only happens on the internet. And it's harassment.

I offered many ways to try to move on. TO BE HONEST, nobody was taking up the role of secret santa this year, so I offered my assistance as a way to try and make things right. Bury the hatchet.

And y'all just brought all of this stuff up again. How many times do I have to say that I am sorry? What do I have to do to get you guys to move on?

12/4/2019 10:37:06 PM

Didn’t read past the word “April” in the PM you posted. Christmas is in December brah

12/4/2019 10:39:07 PM

there are literally about a dozen messages about this. That was my apology. I was still trying to make things right.

12/4/2019 10:44:50 PM

Quote :

"And y'all just brought all of this stuff up again. "

You brought it up

12/4/2019 11:37:00 PM

all I did was offer to make the secret santa thread. I didn't make this thread.

the middle child did.

12/4/2019 11:38:37 PM

And, his thread is already at two pages whilst the secret santa thread has died. This is, honestly, sad. It's Christmas.

Does TWW have a heart?

How many ways can a guy ask for forgiveness?


[Edited on December 5, 2019 at 12:11 AM. Reason : a]

12/5/2019 12:09:01 AM

does tww have a heart? lolz

its the internet. feelz might as well be an extra chromosome

12/5/2019 8:50:34 AM

You haven't just said I'm sorry. Don't ask for anything. Don't try to explain anything. Just say. "I'm sorry. This situation sucks and I made it worse and I'm sorry." Nothing more. You can't seem to do that.

12/5/2019 7:25:16 PM

Shoulda stuck with a "sorry, not sorry" defense if you truly didn't do anything wrong. But we all know you're lying, given how stupid your defense is.

[Edited on December 5, 2019 at 7:41 PM. Reason : .]

12/5/2019 7:41:01 PM

I, for one, forgive BanjoMan. **

I'm still not doing SS though. Cause I never do.









** All shit talking rights reserved.

12/5/2019 7:58:00 PM

Pretty sure bbehe and I angered the Gods by not doing Secret Santa last year and letting banjoman do whatever the fuck it was that he did with it.

So they punished us by giving us 2020, the year of shitty things happening


So we're sorry

6/18/2020 2:11:08 PM

clearly the solution is force banjoman and behe to conduct this years together

6/18/2020 2:37:48 PM

If you're planning to force him to do anything, make it "take antidepressants."

6/18/2020 2:55:02 PM

I'm assuming you're only talking about Banjo

6/18/2020 3:36:20 PM

oh yes to be clear, sorry

6/18/2020 3:54:32 PM

No worries

6/18/2020 6:38:48 PM

Send Banjo lafta bucks.

6/18/2020 6:45:36 PM

Wait Bbehe is a dude?

6/18/2020 8:08:01 PM

That's what the doctor tells me

6/18/2020 8:14:34 PM

sup

8/16/2022 6:07:55 PM

I like this thread because it has one of my greatest posts of all time in it.

Bump approved.

8/16/2022 6:16:05 PM

who mails with DHL

FFS

8/16/2022 8:15:20 PM

BanjoMan sucks

8/16/2022 8:36:41 PM

this thread is great

why can't it always be like this

why are we not 21 anymore

also LOL in memorandum

8/16/2022 8:38:43 PM

Nobody here was close to 21 when this occurred

8/16/2022 10:27:19 PM

this is true.

8/17/2022 9:05:05 AM

it wasn't specifically related to this thread :3

8/17/2022 5:01:59 PM

Bump

11/17/2022 8:21:05 PM