Quote :

"A woman meets a rather handsome and charming man in the bar of a highly regarded restaurant. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They go back to his apartment, and as he shows her around she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. Three wall-length shelves loaded with hundreds and hundreds of the little buggers...carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing this very un-macho display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf; medium-sized covering the entire length of the middle shelf; and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. Quite the display! She found it strange for a man (who was clearly straight) to have such a large collection of teddy bears, but doesn't mention it out loud, being really quite impressed by his obvious sensitive side. All the while thinking to herself, Oh goodness! Maybe this guy could be the one - maybe he could be the father of my children!" She turns to him. They kiss slowly... and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot, steamy love. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this wonderful, sensitive guy - lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over towards him smiling sweetly. She strokes his chest and asks coyly, "So? How was it?" The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf." submitted by gunguy on Friday, October 6 at 12:41 AM "

I guess the lady wasn't good at sex0r

[Edited on July 12, 2025 at 7:58 PM. Reason : @]

7/12/2025 7:58:27 PM

Quote :

"You know whats funny? ReceiveDeath is suspended!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA submitted by NCSUStinger on Tuesday, February 24 at 10:23 AM"

Lol classic stinger

7/13/2025 12:12:42 AM

Quote :

"An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place. Then the Irishman says, “Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there’s a better one. At McDougal’s, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and McDougal himself will buy your third drink!” The others agree that sounds like a nice place. Then the Italian says, “Yeah, that’s a nice bar, but where I come from, there’s a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there’s this place, Vinny’s. At Vinny’s, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vinny buys you anudda drink.” Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar. Then the Polish guy says, “You think that’s great? Where I come from, there’s this place called Warshowski’s. At Warshowski’s, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!” “Wow!” say the other two. “That’s fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?” “No,” replies the Polish guy, “but it happened to my sister!” submitted by AttackLax on Wednesday, April 9 at 11:16 AM "

Idk i thought that was kinda lazy

7/16/2025 12:07:14 AM

Quote :

"A tragic fire on Monday destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush. Both of his books have been lost. Presidential spokesman Ari Fleischer said the president was devastated, as he had not finished coloring the second one. submitted by dFshadow on Friday, May 6 at 7:03 AM "

Really liked this one honestly

7/18/2025 6:06:23 PM

I think todays and 7/12/25 joke on this page are the same

7/19/2025 7:34:46 PM

Quote :

"You know whats funny? ReceiveDeath is suspended!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA submitted by NCSUStinger on Tuesday, February 24 at 10:23 AM"

7/19/2025 7:54:09 PM

7/20/2025 1:49:57 AM

Quote :

"An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son Bob in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough! I’m sick of her, and I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Boston and tell her,” and then hangs up. The son frantically calls his sister, who goes nuts upon hearing the news. She calls her father and yells, “You are not getting a divorce! Bob and I will be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a single thing, do you hear me?” The father hangs up the phone, turns to his wife, and says, “It worked! The kids are coming for a visit, and they’re paying their own way!” submitted by CrazyJ on Saturday, March 23 at 6:31 PM "

Not super funny, but got a heh out of me.

7/28/2025 12:08:26 AM

Quote :

"Three men and a bar... There were three men out on the town one night. The first man walks into the bar... The second man walks into the bar... The third man ducks. submitted by CaptainDirk on Saturday, February 7 at 8:19 PM"

I give this a 2.5/10

8/1/2025 9:43:26 PM

Quote :

"Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For drizzle! submitted by Lime Light on Tuesday, February 21 at 1:41 PM "

Oldie but goodie

8/5/2025 11:50:00 PM

Quote :

"Why does Melania get a standing O? Cuz she never gets one laying down! submitted by StTexan on Tuesday, March 4 at 9:39 PM "

I made it!!!

8/8/2025 9:36:56 PM

Quote :

"Three tampons are walking down the street, which one says hi? None of them, they're all stuck up bitches. submitted by texas82 on Monday, December 24 at 2:07 PM "

Wonder whatever happened to texas82

8/17/2025 3:05:08 AM

I say you he ded.

8/17/2025 9:42:37 AM

texas82 = Phill exposed???

8/17/2025 12:08:38 PM

Quote :

"skin around a vagina Q: What do you call the skin around a vagina? A: woman submitted by Douche Bag on Saturday, February 4 at 1:45 PM"

Lol didn't see that one coming, Douche Bag

[Edited on August 19, 2025 at 12:22 AM. Reason : ^phill is from wisconsin or michigan i forget]

8/19/2025 12:21:30 AM

^ That joke ceased being funny on 1/20/2009.

I am praying Eph 5:4 over you. Amen.

8/19/2025 2:09:45 PM

#blessed . Amen. Will google these things. Preach

8/19/2025 4:05:00 PM

Quote :

"What is the similarity between a Mexican and a Que Ball? The harder you hit them the more English you get. submitted by Swanson on Monday, October 31 at 5:10 PM "

Yikes...

8/21/2025 1:44:31 PM

A what ball

8/21/2025 1:50:26 PM

^ lol good catch justin

[Edited on August 21, 2025 at 1:58 PM. Reason : Maybe he meant queue ?]

8/21/2025 1:58:19 PM

Quote :

" One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows... One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat. “Where to?” he stammered. “Union Station,” answered the woman. “You got it,” he said, taking another long glance in the mirror. The woman caught him staring at her and asked, “Just what the hell are you looking at, driver?” “Well ma’am, I noticed that you’re completely naked, and I was just wondering how you’ll pay your fare.” The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said, “Does this answer your question?” Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, “Got anything smaller?” submitted by CrazyJ on Saturday, March 23 at 6:32 PM "

Now this one was actually pretty good!

8/22/2025 1:03:04 AM

The one I posted on 8/19 is the JOTD again. Not as funny the 2nd time

8/23/2025 7:35:38 PM

Quote :

"Southern football... (1) What does the average Mississippi State player get on his SATs? -----Drool. (2) What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room? -----A full set of teeth. (3) How do you get an LSU cheerleader into your dorm room? -----Grease her hips and push like hell. (4) How do you get a Illinois graduate off your porch? -----Pay him for the pizza. (5) Why do the Tarheel cheerleaders wear bibs? -----To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms. (6) Why is the Vandy football team like a possum? -----Because they play dead at home, and get killed on the road. (7) What are the longest three years of a Florida football player's life? -----His freshman year. (8) How many Ole Miss freshmen does it take to change a light bulb? -----None...That's a sophomore course at Mississippi. (9) Where was O.J. headed in the white Bronco? -----Lexington, Kentucky . . . He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman Trophy winner. AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash...) (10) Why did Texas choose orange as their team color? -----You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and for picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week. submitted by chocoholic on Wednesday, January 23 at 3:11 PM "

Bravo chocoholic!

8/24/2025 12:53:25 PM

Quote :

"SOUTHERN FOOTBALL ILLINOIS"

8/24/2025 5:48:39 PM

Quote :

"A man and his wife are in the shower together when the doorbell rings... A man and his wife are in the shower together when the doorbell rings. The wife puts on a robe and goes down to answer the door. In walks her husband’s friend Ben. The woman tells him her husband’s in the shower and asks if he can come back later. Instead, Ben steps in and quietly says, "I have $400 in my pocket. I’ll give it to you if you’ll open your bathrobe for me." She’s offended, but really needs the money so she agrees, opens her robe, and lets Ben have a quick peek before doing it up again. Ben gives her the $400, and she opens the door for him to leave, but he says, "I have another $400 in my other pocket. I’ll give it to you if you let me touch your breasts." Now she’s really mortified, but again, she needs the money, so she undoes her robe and lets him have a quick feel. Taking the other $400 from him, she lets him out the door. Going back upstairs, she gets back in the shower with her husband, feeling a little bit guilty. "Who was that?" the husband asks. "Oh, that was just Ben," the wife answers. "Ben?" the husband says. "That son of a bitch owes me 800 bucks!" submitted by CrazyJ on Saturday, March 23 at 6:40 PM "

I lol'ed

8/25/2025 10:11:09 AM

Quote :

"Redneck Gas Station A gas station in "redneck country" was trying to increase its sales so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up." Soon a "redneck" pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and, if he guessed correctly, he would get his Free sex. The buyer then guessed (8)and the proprietor said, "No, but you were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no free sex this time, but maybe next time." Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The man guessed (2) this time and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close, but no free sex this time. " As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex." The buddy, (Bubba) replied, "No it ain't Billy Ray, it's not rigged - my wife won twice last week." submitted by underPSI on Sunday, January 25 at 9:14 AM "

Lol

8/26/2025 3:51:45 AM

Quote :

"(Bubba)"

8/26/2025 10:12:50 AM

Quote :

"A couple have not been getting along for years... A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, “I’ll buy my wife a cemetary plot for her birthday.” Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and he doesn’t get her anything. She says, “Why didn’t you get me a birthday present?” He says, “You didn’t use what I got you last year!” submitted by CrazyJ on Monday, August 6 at 7:03 PM "

CrazyJ sure did submit a lot of jokes. Especially those where the husband seems to dislike the wife

8/26/2025 3:02:05 PM

Quote :

"What's irish and stays out all night? Patty O'furniture submitted by kmshutt on Tuesday, December 14 at 2:58 PM"

Took me a second for this one...but i think pretty good! Good job kmshutt

8/27/2025 8:36:16 AM

Quote :

" A pirate walks into a bar.... The first thing the bartender said to him was, " You gotta a ships wheel sticking out the front of your pants." The pirate replies, "ARRGH and its driving me nuts!" submitted by sglazier on Thursday, February 5 at 10:02 PM "

Lol

8/29/2025 8:00:27 PM

Quote :

"A blonde pilot learning how to fly a helicopter... A blonde pilot decided she wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter. She went to the airport, but the only one available was a solo-helicopter. The Instructor figured he could let her go up alone since she was already a pilot for small planes and he could instruct her via radio. So up the blonde went. She reached 1,000 feet and everything was going smoothly. She reached 2,000 feet. The blonde and the Instructor kept talking via radio. Everything was running smoothly. At 3,000 feet the helicopter suddenly came down quickly! It skimmed the top of some trees and crash landed in the woods. The Instructor jumped into his jeep and rushed out to see if the blonde was okay. As he reached the edge of the woods, the blonde was walking out. "What happened?" the Instructor asked. "All was going so well until you reached 3,000 feet. What happened then?" "Well," began the blonde, "I got cold. So I turned off the ceiling fan." submitted by roseathena on Monday, August 25 at 3:53 PM "

Nothing wrong with a blonde joke, roseathena!

8/30/2025 9:52:06 AM