You should be deported, u fucking idiot.

2/11/2013 3:07:03 PM

You should try beating her.

2/11/2013 3:11:49 PM

I can't relate to your problems.

My wife has a great position at her company makes good money with great benefits, she very rarely bitches about anything, her mom likes me. We could live off her salary alone, but I work to supplement that.

Sounds like you fucked up at life by marrying a cold hearted bitch with evil parents. I dated one of those in college....she bitched so much I got chest pains and her parents were overly critical. She flipped her shit on me one too many times and I cut the ties. She is now engaged to some other poor soul and I wish them both the best.

You quite possibly could be fucking up at life again by changing your career path multiple times and dragging out school instead of figuring out how to contribute to your household. Can you not work and go to school? When she leaves your ass you are going to have to support yourself somehow...go ahead and figure out how to earn an income. You will not only be more attractive to your wife, but also be better poised to date if/when she leaves your ass. Life is not about finding a job you love, if you can find one great, if not find a way to earn an income and then move up from there.

2/11/2013 3:12:37 PM

Something seems off.

[Edited on February 11, 2013 at 3:50 PM. Reason : Acct hacked?]

2/11/2013 3:49:42 PM

Quote :

"false. median resident salary is in the $40-$50k range, as there are small increases each year."

My fiance is in her 4th year and makes $77k.

2/11/2013 3:50:58 PM

^^^ I've sacrificed my career for her A LOT. I brought her here from China, and transferred from Uconn to North Carolina to avoid long distance. I also gave her good advice when her advisor was laid off to find a job. Without me, she can't find a job so easy. And when I was in Charlotte, I commuted every week back to see her.
But what did she do when she earned a good income? Want to get divorced with me.

She grew up in a poor countryside county in China. So that's maybe where her cold-heart attitude is from.

[Edited on February 11, 2013 at 4:06 PM. Reason : add another note]

2/11/2013 3:58:15 PM

2/11/2013 4:06:06 PM

look dude this is just how women are. they will cry and whine and make you deal with all the bullshit to get them where they want to go but as soon as they get there they will leave your ass if you're not good enough for them and they can do better.

You've fucked around for the past several years and left yourself out to dry. To make things worse you've complicated things by getting married and having a kid.

Always leave yourself outs.

2/11/2013 5:22:40 PM

Quote :

"I brought her here from China"

Pwnt. She was just using you from the beginning.

2/11/2013 5:49:11 PM

How much did "love" and respect factor into this relationship in the beginning?

It doesn't seem like she respects you. If she loves you (and she still might), then you should be able to tell her you feel like she is not respecting you, and you can discuss at that point what it's going to take to for each other to gain a mutual respect. This may involve clearly defining your goals for the relationship in the future.

There's plenty of good advice on the first page (QTPie, bobbydigital, elkabyies, etc.).

It might just come to "being a man" and putting your foot down, let her know you're taking charge of the household.

[Edited on February 11, 2013 at 6:14 PM. Reason : ]

2/11/2013 6:13:07 PM

^^ You are absolutely right. She IS using me. That's the fucking reality.
She's so cold-heart that she raised the issue of divorce in front of a 2-month old baby.

[Edited on February 11, 2013 at 7:32 PM. Reason : add another note]

2/11/2013 7:29:46 PM

How do you think the baby took that?

2/11/2013 7:37:54 PM

oh no, not in front of the baby!

2/11/2013 7:45:37 PM

Not that serious. But she raised the issue after we had a baby.
The MIL did yell at me in front of the baby for many times.

2/11/2013 7:52:12 PM

Counseling, dude, for the both of you. If there is post partum stuff they will figure it out, if not there are still other things to be discussed.

2/11/2013 7:59:25 PM

Seriously, I'm worried about my personal safety at night right now, as the MIL may break into our room and try to kill me.
What can I do?

2/11/2013 8:08:13 PM

ARM YOURSELF

2/11/2013 8:09:37 PM

Borrow me a gun then.

2/11/2013 8:15:17 PM

If you dont shoot, shoot, you'll get shot.

2/11/2013 8:26:13 PM

911.

2/11/2013 8:27:44 PM

^^ That's right.

Many years ago, a Chinese immigrant was killed by his FIL using ax.



[Edited on February 11, 2013 at 8:33 PM. Reason : add another note]

2/11/2013 8:29:30 PM

Briffault's Law: The Most Important Thing You Can Know As A Man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbaztPIIfuw

2/11/2013 8:34:36 PM

The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.

I don't get it.

2/11/2013 8:40:47 PM

Dude, if things are really getting that bad, don't arm yourself, just leave. Stay with a friend, sleep on their couch, sleep in the library, shower in the gym, whatever. If the police are called they will ALWAYS arrest the man. Keep your temper and just walk away. Maybe she has been using you, maybe she loves you. Now is not the time to argue, with her parents there. Things will cool down in a week and you will be able to think about the whole situation clearly.

[Edited on February 11, 2013 at 8:54 PM. Reason : .]

2/11/2013 8:47:43 PM

Why? I'm always calmed.
I'm just protecting myself being attacked by a psycho. Why do they arrest me then?

I don't think she dares to do that though.

[Edited on February 11, 2013 at 8:54 PM. Reason : add another note]

2/11/2013 8:52:37 PM

I don't know why, but that is what happens most times.

Good, stay calm.

2/11/2013 8:55:25 PM

The in-laws live with you? They need to be out ASAP. Period.

2/11/2013 8:56:49 PM

I've been pushing my wife to let them go all the time. They suppose to leave in March now.

2/11/2013 9:03:25 PM

The MIL has kidney and liver diseases. I don't know if she should have the same tableware with me. I may get infected.

2/11/2013 11:22:44 PM

Is this real life? o.0

2/11/2013 11:38:19 PM

I didn't say anything about debt. Late med students make enough money to support themselves as well as many academics. Also, there is nothin wrong with waiting until you are 27 to get married. College life and family life just don't blend.

2/11/2013 11:42:04 PM

If you think she can infect you by using the same dishes then why are you allowing her to be near your child?



*yes, I know this is ridiculous

2/11/2013 11:51:21 PM

Gotta have thick skin, shoot! Gotta stand your ground. My wife feeds me the same lines. Get a job, she says. Get off the couch! But she doesn't understand. People like us are different!

[Edited on February 11, 2013 at 11:57 PM. Reason : z]

2/11/2013 11:57:32 PM

you know what i think your wife and MIL need? They need you to put them in their fucking place

start acting like an alpha and man up and set them straight.

your wife will like it, your bedroom behavior will improve, and your MIL will back the fuck off

thats just the way shit works

i typically do not subscribe to this way of thinking in my everyday life as my wife and I have a good understanding of who we are, but sometimes it is necessary. I'd really think this may help as it seems you are way too passive

[Edited on February 12, 2013 at 12:02 AM. Reason : v]

2/12/2013 12:00:16 AM

I agree. Thanks for the advice.

2/12/2013 12:21:09 AM

This sounds similar to the last three years of my parents marriage. Hopefully it doesn't end for you like it did for them . Also, if my MIL/Mother/Whoever yelled at me in front of my child I would throw her out of my house and call a taxi if she didn't have a car there.

2/12/2013 1:58:25 AM

Quote :

"Not to be an ass, but this is why you should wait until you have a solid career before you take on a wife and kids."

why do you think that getting married and having kids will change nothing simply because you have a "solid" job?

it might work for some, but not for all...it's wholly subjective

in this particular situation, i imagine the wife might be unhappy if he had gotten his phd but become a postdoc or something...i'm speculating and didn't even read all of the thread, but it seems that she had hopes for (or was expecting) something that hasn't turned out as she wanted

some would consider having a phd and being a postdoc to be a "solid" career if you were tenure-track, but the way you phrase it, it seems that you believe one should not consider a serious relationship of any kind until you're already on the path

[Edited on February 12, 2013 at 10:39 AM. Reason : anyway, best of luck to the OP]

2/12/2013 10:27:12 AM

cut your losses.

2/12/2013 10:28:41 AM

The baby is just a consequence of 5 yrs of marriage. She's 30 already. She need to give birth to a baby now. Otherwise, she's too old.

2/12/2013 10:56:48 AM

You don't have to have kids, but once you do if she leaves you will be living in poverty for the next 18 years paying child support. Congratulations on fucking up your life so spectacularly by not considering this before you got her pregnant.

2/12/2013 10:59:06 AM

You are not nice. Why do I need to pay her the fee for kid? It's my kid.

I just treat her too nice. I didn't expect her to be so cold-heart.

[Edited on February 12, 2013 at 11:07 AM. Reason : add another note]

2/12/2013 11:06:16 AM

^^^ not really...35 is the age commonly (and appropriately) considered the point at which fertility begins to drop and complications become more likely

an unhealthy woman in her early 30s is at greater risk for some things (compared to an unhealthy woman in her early to mid-20s), but a healthy woman in her early to mid-30s is still (statistically) fine for having a baby (and generally fertile enough for it to be a non-issue)

still, though, nothing to be done about it now

[Edited on February 12, 2013 at 11:08 AM. Reason : carats]

2/12/2013 11:07:24 AM

I don't know that. I just know with ppl getting older, the risk for delivery is increasing.
But this is not a thread talking about the best time for having a baby.

2/12/2013 11:15:09 AM

This bitch brings me a lot of troubles so far. My OPT issue is so urgent that I need to refer to a lawyer.

2/12/2013 11:22:27 AM

Nope it's a thread for you to bitch about your inlaws and call your wife crazy, but doing little self exploration as for why your wife may feel the way she does aside from "post partum depression" that you discussed with a lactation consultant.

And to hit on acraw.




Kick the inlaws out now. Don't wait til March. See how things are with your wife after their toxic presence is removed. Talk with a doctor about post partum depression. Talk to a counselor, together, about your current situation with your wife. And for gods sake figure out what it is you want to do with your life bc whatever happens with you and your wife you've got to support your child.

And stop hitting on acraw.

2/12/2013 11:22:51 AM

I just want to simply praise her. That's it. Why are u so uncomfortable? I don't even know she/he is real or not.

The thing is, my wife prevents me from kicking them out. I don't know whether it's because the effort of MIL or she does think in that way. She doesn't think our relation is getting bad after they come and speaks for them.

[Edited on February 12, 2013 at 11:34 AM. Reason : add another note]

2/12/2013 11:26:33 AM

Quote :

"This bitch brings me a lot of troubles so far."

well that's a sure fire way to not get laid

2/12/2013 12:27:44 PM

Quote :

"The thing is, my wife prevents me from kicking them out."

kick the wife out too.

2/12/2013 12:42:14 PM

Everyone in the US except you knows how child support works. She can kick you out and make you live in poverty for no reason because that's how child custody in the US works.

2/12/2013 12:47:30 PM

I'm also taking care of baby. It's her who raises the divorce topic. I don't want my kid has a cruel mom.

2/12/2013 1:48:16 PM