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 Message Boards » » it's ok to have a kid but still have a self Page 1 [2] 3, Prev Next  
jbrick83
All American
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This,

Quote :
"this post is a normal reaction from someone who doesn't have a kid."


And this,

Quote :
"denying yourself the simplest of pleasures so other mommies will think you're the best mommy and be jealous"


The majority of parents (other than your shithole friends maybe) try to be good parents because they want their kids to turn out right. But maybe you're projecting your own social inadequacies on them...

6/20/2012 11:15:32 AM

settledown
Suspended
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i have a kid

so shut the fuck up

6/20/2012 11:16:00 AM

MinkaGrl01

21814 Posts
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Quote :
"WTF is WATYA?"


I assumed it's the What are you thinking at this very moment? thread... but I'm wrong that doesn't make sense now that I typed that out

6/20/2012 11:16:18 AM

Beethoven
All American
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^I think that's what it is though. Just the wrong letters.

6/20/2012 11:16:47 AM

saps852
New Recruit
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I want a matinee thursday!

6/20/2012 11:17:31 AM

Str8BacardiL
************
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I have never liked that thread, it goes too fast to refresh your screen, might as well be a chatroom.

6/20/2012 11:17:36 AM

crazy_carl
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Pretty sure its "Would Andrew Tap Your Ass"

The answer is yes minka

[Edited on June 20, 2012 at 11:20 AM. Reason : y]

6/20/2012 11:19:43 AM

H8R
wear sumthin tight
60155 Posts
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When a tiger yells aloud

6/20/2012 11:23:19 AM

settledown
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don't be a h8r

6/20/2012 11:31:14 AM

H8R
wear sumthin tight
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why anabelle thinks you're affectionate

6/20/2012 11:32:08 AM

MinkaGrl01

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6/20/2012 11:39:22 AM

qntmfred
retired
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i was probably an over-sharer with my firstborn. i don't feel too bad about it though b/c i know that some of my friends wanted to see lots of pics (ok maybe not the ginormous poop diaper pic) but i probably friendly fired some of my friends.

i wouldn't say by any stretch that my kids usurped my identity, but just to be sure i make up for it now by largely ignoring them in order to pursue my other interests.

[Edited on June 20, 2012 at 11:41 AM. Reason : .]

6/20/2012 11:40:34 AM

DivaBaby19
Davidbaby19
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you're a wonderful dad

6/20/2012 11:41:28 AM

Str8BacardiL
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There is nothing wrong with having a ton of pics of your kid and with your kid, just make sure to include stuff about work, vacations, landscaping your yard, personal goals, when your car gets bird shit on it, your dog, when the cable company sucks, etc.....not just pics of your kid sitting in the floor.

6/20/2012 11:44:55 AM

elkaybie
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Oops! I did do the acronym wrong.

Saps, I usually do a noon or close to it show. That work for you?

6/20/2012 11:47:37 AM

saps852
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sure

6/20/2012 11:56:57 AM

prb185
All American
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One guy I know (non-trashy and actually pretty educated and has a good job) made a page FOR HIS KID WHEN HE WAS BORN.

6/20/2012 12:01:30 PM

qntmfred
retired
40726 Posts
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all of my kids have fb accounts. big woop, wanna fight about it

6/20/2012 12:05:05 PM

DivaBaby19
Davidbaby19
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^see I like that

I can send Maya messages if I want, and her parents don't have to find out about it.

wait..wut

6/20/2012 12:07:03 PM

bronco
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If you really think about it, the concept of a self is an illusion. For elaboration,

Quote :
"Integral to the normal world’s network of cloying essentials—purpose, patriotism, home
cooking—is the conviction that all of us are (or have like an extra internal organ) a socalled
self (often capitalized). No quibbling, everyone shares the same conviction, even
those who, like the eighteenth-century Scottish philosopher David Hume, have done a
30
good job of logically arguing against the existence of a self. But logic cannot exorcise
that “I” which stares back at you in the mirror. When people say they have not been
feeling their old self, our thoughts turn to psychology not metaphysics. To reason or to
hold as an article of faith that the self is an illusion may help us to step around the worst
pitfalls of the ego, but mitigation is light years from liberation. And like the soul, or
angels, the self is a blank slate on which so many people have written so many things.
Yet even if there is something like a self living invisibly inside us, who is to say—except
anyone who wants to—that it is not toyed with in the same way as the visible matter
encasing it? Why should not every self come with its own strings attached? Some believe
that a Big Self enfolds all of our little selves. Can little selves have littler selves? Can a
Big Self have bigger selves? As above, so below . . . as the saying goes. That said, some
of us are more sure than others of our selves, whether they are lastingly modeled at the
self factory or cut to be altered like a suit of clothes. And how many of us want nothing
so bad as to be somebody?
Without a whole-hearted belief in the self, the person, our world is kaput. Were a
personal god to be excluded from everyone’s universe, persons would still retain their
status. Otherwise, everything we know would be a no-go. Why bother to succeed as
individuals or to progress as societies once we have identified ourselves as only a
crisscrossing mesh of stuttering memories, sensations, and impulses? Because these
events occur inside the same sack of skin, we suppose an enduring, continuous
personality—something to be exalted or condemned either in the mass or as separate
units, something that serves as the substructure for war, romance, and every other genre
of human activity. In the hierarchy of our most puissant fictions—Homeland, God,
Family—the Person is at the pinnacle."


[Edited on June 20, 2012 at 12:16 PM. Reason : quote]

6/20/2012 12:10:19 PM

umop-apisdn
Snaaaaaake
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mn1rocibittdnhk

6/20/2012 2:46:24 PM

AxlBonBach
All American
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Quote :
"In the hierarchy of our most puissant fictions—Homeland, God,
Family—the Person is at the pinnacle.""


what is this, i don't even...

6/20/2012 2:54:16 PM

StillFuchsia
All American
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Quote :
"If you really think about it, the concept of a self is an illusion"


if that's the lie you want to tell yourself while living only for your kid, go for it

in any case, I support this thread

6/20/2012 3:02:26 PM

Beethoven
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http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/

[Edited on June 20, 2012 at 3:03 PM. Reason : Not a great blog by any means, but has some shining examples perfect for this thread.]

6/20/2012 3:03:25 PM

Skack
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I, too, don't want to hear about the things that are important to my friends unless they involve me.

[Edited on June 20, 2012 at 3:25 PM. Reason : l]

6/20/2012 3:18:41 PM

MinkaGrl01

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Quote :
"Not a great blog by any means"


I have spent countless hours being entertained by B. I've emailed her many times, I wish she would post my submissions someday!

6/20/2012 3:25:30 PM

Beethoven
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It's go so much potential! It's a great theme for a blog, and most of what she posts is funny, but it could be soooo much better.

6/20/2012 3:26:27 PM

lewoods
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afripino, Same problem with my parents, only instead of finding their own hobbies they tried to guilt me into becoming just like them until I told them off.

Now my dad fixes my mom's sewing machines and my mom has turned complaining about her back into a full time job.

6/20/2012 3:48:39 PM

BigEgo
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I wanted to make this thread. My sister has done this, although it seems she's coming out of it a bit. One girl I was pretty close to before she was preggos has devolved into nothing but a mother, her kid is her personality, and it's kinda annoying. a couple of my more interesting facebook friends are devolving into their entire life being them being pregnant. no more witty comments, no more interesting anecdotes from their life, just pictures of their pregnant belly. fuck. that. shit.

6/20/2012 3:54:04 PM

Samwise16
All American
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I love love love stfuparents

Two of my submissions have made it

6/20/2012 4:02:15 PM

raiden
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I agree with the sentiment of this thread. My sister is one of those mothers who do that. Every time I talk to her about what she's up to all I hear about is the goddamn kids.

6/20/2012 4:11:56 PM

Ernie
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6/20/2012 4:16:57 PM

MinkaGrl01

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haha that was a great submission! I couldn't stop laughing





(doesn't take much to amuse me lol)

6/20/2012 4:23:55 PM

se7entythree
YOSHIYOSHI
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i have a friend who doesn't do this online, but she does in person. we are friends with her husband & her (moreso her husband), & were friends before they had kids. she is a stay at home mom also. she didn't turn into a weirdo with the first kid, but now that they have a second, poop & nursing & spit up are all she talks about. there's no way to have a normal conversation about anything else with her anymore. it's sad. we spent the weekend w/ them at the beach 2 weeks ago & every time i'd wake up, first thing she starts talking about is how glad i should be that i just missed the giant poop her son (the 2nd kid) just took. he's 6 months btw. yeah, i am glad i missed it & i'd be even more glad if you didn't give me all the details of it.

6/20/2012 4:35:40 PM

bottombaby
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I am one of those mothers and I don't give a shit.

6/20/2012 6:47:43 PM

Str8BacardiL
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^^ ahahahaha

6/20/2012 6:49:17 PM

lewoods
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^^ I am only friends with a couple people with kids because of people like that. At least there are a couple out there that seem to continue to function semi-normally after popping out some crotch fruit.

6/20/2012 6:55:58 PM

wolfpackgrrr
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Quote :
"yes, and its 100x worse if theyre a military wife.

a mid to late 20s military wife with 1-3 kids whose husband is in the service and she sits at home all day on fucking facebook?"


YES. One of my friends has turned into this. I figured after a couple months she'd find some new topics but the kid is now three. Not only is every single post on her Facebook about her kid, whenever she emails me it's about her kid and whenever she's in town and we meet for coffee all she talks about is the kid. And of course the kid has never been out of her sight in three years. I guess I wouldn't mind so much if she talked about interesting things her kid did but all her posts are along the lines of, "Billy is asleep now," or "Billy ate an apple for lunch."

Thankfully most of my parent friends are not like this.

6/20/2012 7:24:05 PM

Str8BacardiL
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I am guessing that is a side effect of most military mommas not needing to work, and being stuck in an unfamiliar environment away from old friends & family. The only way they really would need to work is if they are morons about handling money.

The military takes care of them (which they should) since they are usually not located near any other family and support and don't exactly have anyone to help watch the kids while their husbands are deployed or otherwise working and not deployed.

6/20/2012 7:37:19 PM

wolfpackgrrr
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Yeah you'd think that would be her excuse but in her case she was stationed in the same area as her family the entire time he was in the Navy

6/20/2012 7:45:53 PM

theDuke866
All American
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Quote :
"yes, and its 100x worse if theyre a military wife.

a mid to late 20s military wife with 1-3 kids whose husband is in the service and she sits at home all day on fucking facebook?
"


yep...the ones who derive their worth from their kids, AND their husbands. Terrible. F.

See also:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dependapotamus
http://terminallance.com/2010/08/06/terminal-lance-56-myths-and-legends-ii-the-dependapotamus/

Quote :
"i have friends who got married and only have 1 fb page between them now
"

I have a friend who was my roommate for a year in WA, then lived a few houses down from me in NC, and was in my squadron for a little while. He and his wife merged their Facebook pages--more accurately, he got rid of his and she incorporated him into hers. I fucking cannot stand his wife--partly because I just don't like her; partly because of a specific beef I have with some shit she pulled on me. Haven't heard from my boy since they merged their FBs (although really we had kinda started falling out of touch anyway, because he and his wife were kind of a package deal, and fuck her.)

[Edited on June 20, 2012 at 9:04 PM. Reason : ]

6/20/2012 9:04:23 PM

Ernie
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Has a pregnant woman ever posted a facebook picture where her hands were somewhere other than her stomach

6/21/2012 9:10:11 AM

settledown
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se7entythree and wolfpackgrrr acting like they won't be like this

6/21/2012 9:11:39 AM

Str8BacardiL
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once i have a little shitter im posting dirty diapers ITT

6/21/2012 9:20:13 AM

wolfpackgrrr
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^^ Oh I'm sure I will at first but I'm going to try very hard to leave that stage Of course it'll help that I'll be working. It tends to be the stay at home moms that become guilty of this long-term.

6/21/2012 9:38:36 AM

Beethoven
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I think working Moms do this a lot too though. With my sister, it was proving that she was just as much a Mom as the stay at homes, and she could be just as excited about breastfeeding as anyone else!

I think it's a natural response to parenting. It just takes some people longer to snap out of it.

6/21/2012 9:40:01 AM

AndyMac
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Quote :
"One guy I know (non-trashy and actually pretty educated and has a good job) made a page FOR HIS KID WHEN HE WAS BORN.
"


Don't see anything wrong with this, it's better than what usually happens, which is the mother (or occasionally father) basically turns her own facebook page into the baby's facebook page.

When you replace your own facebook profile pic with one of your child that doesn't even have you in it, you've gone too far.

6/21/2012 9:44:48 AM

sawahash
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I really don't see anything wrong with making a facebook page for your kid. That way you can just put all of their pictures and stuff there. And it's not like you're making an invite to predators, you can make it private so that only certain people can see the pictures.

Some kids might even like the fact that they have a facebook page timeline when they get older that their parents started for them. I mean who doesn't like going back every now and then and looking at the baby book their parents started?

6/21/2012 10:02:29 AM

Str8BacardiL
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Facebook will not be cool anymore once our kids come of age to use it.

Nothing on the internet lasts forever.

6/21/2012 10:04:27 AM

sawahash
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What? You mean we're not going to be in our 40s and 50s and saying "facebook me"

damn...


Yeah, I was thinking about that the other day, I wonder what will become the next big thing in social media...

6/21/2012 10:06:35 AM

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