shorter haired guy did it wrong. REVOKE MAN LICENSE

4/21/2012 5:32:43 PM

Is there a distinction between a douchenugget and a douchetender? How about boneless douchewings or the proprietary doucheselects?

4/22/2012 8:57:13 AM

I like to curl my hand up like the butler from Scary Movie 2 when I go in for a hand shake
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHHB00Nu3Ak


[Edited on April 22, 2012 at 10:54 AM. Reason : .]

4/22/2012 10:52:56 AM

not a handshake, but it has hands and is awkward

6/14/2012 9:38:21 AM

Quote :

" I always address a bad handshake and then re-initiate a good one. Not sure if a lot of people are like me when it comes to this, but I substantially evaluate someone based upon their handshake and initial presentation."

I, too, put a lot of stock into a person's handshake. You don't need the macho bone-crushing handhake, but you have to get in deep enough for the thumbs to intertwine. Then one solid shake should suffice. I try to look past a sweaty hand because hands just get sweaty sometimes. But if I get a weak grip or all fingers, dude just dropped down a notch in my book.

6/14/2012 10:28:10 AM

It would be so much easier if we all just bowed to one another.

6/14/2012 10:39:14 AM

If you're getting all fingers it's more likely that YOU fucked it up

6/14/2012 2:36:38 PM

^agreed, I hate when someone clasps too soon and only get my fingers

6/14/2012 2:59:28 PM

Why are black dudes all into the shake/hug combo? I have a few Agents that I barely know, but whenever I shake their hand they pull me in for a hug. I mean, I guess that means they like me, but I don't know you like that bro.

6/14/2012 3:03:09 PM

I feel letdown when I only get a normal handshake from a black guy, like I didn't make the cut.

6/14/2012 3:04:31 PM

And they never do the regular handshake either, it's always the thumb grab

6/14/2012 3:06:48 PM

Quote :

"If you're getting all fingers it's more likely that YOU fucked it up"

6/14/2012 4:48:03 PM

6/14/2012 5:24:34 PM

6/15/2012 3:40:10 AM

I hate weak handshakes.
I die a little inside when women give a weak one--step it up ladies! This ain't the 50s.
I also pride myself on compliments from men that aren't expecting my firm grip (twss).

6/15/2012 9:28:08 AM

does anyone miss the hand completely pretty often because you are looking the man in the eye when you are greetin them?

happens to me all the time

even worse you like jam their thumb

[Edited on June 15, 2012 at 9:38 AM. Reason : r]

6/15/2012 9:38:16 AM

i saw stuart scott and lebron take about 5 seconds to figure out how to shake hands this morning, it was an awkward flurry of hands and fists

haha, found it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4_UqSnvl8w&t=0m42s

[Edited on June 15, 2012 at 11:34 AM. Reason : o/ _o]

6/15/2012 11:30:45 AM

6/18/2012 3:28:42 PM

Quote :

"I hate weak handshakes. I die a little inside when women give a weak one--step it up ladies! This ain't the 50s."

I have an even bigger problem with guys who give ladies wussy handshakes.

6/18/2012 3:33:49 PM

6/18/2012 4:11:32 PM

I fell for a fake high five by a buddy of mines gf.

We had a conversation and when they left she brought her hand up like she was wanting to high five. So I went to high five her and she pulled her hand back. I still got a piece of her hand but it was AWKARD.


Still not sure what she was trying to do

6/19/2012 6:55:40 AM

6/5/2013 5:52:56 PM

I hate that awkward moment when you meet someone you kind of know, and it's isn't clear if hands should be shaken or not. I feel like there is like three seconds of looking out the corner of your eye at their hands.

I also dislike meetings of 5-8 new people and you spend 5 min crossing over handshakes with people youll never see again.

6/5/2013 9:33:45 PM

lol when he tries to shake the other dude's hand twice

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

7/15/2013 12:04:03 PM

I got a pretty firm handshake from this Asian chick I met the other day.

7/15/2013 6:51:27 PM

Quote :

"the retard strength handshakes annoy me the most."

agreed, eleusis. It's not a fucking contest. I'm sure you and I could cripple most of the douchebags who pull this bullshit.

But a gentleman is discreet and discrete

7/15/2013 9:22:15 PM

I run a small painting contracting company and my paint rep is black. I am the picture of honky. I feel very uncool everytime we greet and I go for the regular handshake and he goes for the bro handshake.

7/15/2013 11:19:40 PM

I try to imagine that the other guy has fallen out of a boat and I'm going to help him back in. The handshake should say "I've got you. I won't let you down." Bonecrushing is a sure sign of men with weak minds. They have taken their drive for competition to mundane monkey tricks because they are not competative on the field of ideas. These men get to work as manufacturing engineers.

Weak handshakes indicate a lack of enthusiasm or commitment. Usually they are young guys who just want to go home at 5pm

With women, I offer my hand open and palm up. I allow them to take it, and I hold their hand gently and very briefly. I make eye contact and try to remember to smile.

7/16/2013 12:18:15 PM

<script async src="//platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

7/18/2013 5:24:22 PM

10/9/2013 3:30:43 PM

don't clasp your hand until your thumbs are touching

10/9/2013 3:32:14 PM

ahah Wenger!

[Edited on October 9, 2013 at 5:21 PM. Reason : love it Klaty]

10/9/2013 5:18:08 PM

9/6/2014 11:37:15 PM

Quote :

"1. reach out for a regular handshake...just as your hands are touching, use your index finger to quickly tickle the palm of the person whose hand you're shaking"

In Africa this is how you signal to somebody that you want to have sex with them.

9/8/2014 3:21:23 AM

^ that's also how gays/situational gays in arab countries signal they want to have sex with you when they meet you for the first time

9/8/2014 4:38:00 AM