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 Message Boards » » Negotiating for engagement ring Page 1 [2] 3, Prev Next  
CassTheSass
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why hasn't anyone mentioned him talking to QTPie? she has helped tons of twwers in the past with engagement ring shopping and or helping to create engagement rings.

9/14/2011 8:49:20 AM

DivaBaby19
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none of these folks are old enough to know who QTPie is lol

9/14/2011 9:32:13 AM

synapse
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isn't there a long ass thread in the lounge about this? i'd imagine if the OP read through that he'd get some good info

yah here it is: message_topic.aspx?topic=459442

9/14/2011 9:44:28 AM

bmel
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paging G.O.D and Morphine Boy

9/14/2011 9:51:56 AM

mdozer73
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^^^^Came in here to post that.

9/14/2011 9:56:33 AM

CassTheSass
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G.O.D is definitely also a good person to talk to - i forgot she was also a jeweler.

9/14/2011 9:59:52 AM

Pikey
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So what exactly is a good amount to spend on an engagement ring?

9/14/2011 11:09:30 AM

pilgrimshoes
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that's up to your personal finances and not some arbitrary number pulled from the internet.

9/14/2011 11:10:38 AM

bmel
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I heard it is suppose to be 3 months pay. Seems a little excessive to me tho.

9/14/2011 11:12:48 AM

Pikey
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Well, what would be a respectable amount then?

9/14/2011 11:13:05 AM

pilgrimshoes
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(in before net or gross pay argument)

^again, that's entirely up to your situation.

20k is respectable for one person, 2k is fine for another.

[Edited on September 14, 2011 at 11:14 AM. Reason : e]

9/14/2011 11:13:30 AM

Pikey
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Quote :
"I heard it is suppose to be 3 months pay. Seems a little excessive to me tho."
Quote :
"(in before net or gross pay argument)"

I was just about to ask that...

9/14/2011 11:15:23 AM

wolfpackgrrr
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Quote :
"So what exactly is a good amount to spend on an engagement ring?
"


Depends entirely on the woman. I'd be pissed as hell if my husband spent 3 months salary on a ring. I'd rather spend that money on about a million other things. Other women would be snubbed by a ring worth only 3 months salary.

9/14/2011 11:17:09 AM

jbrick83
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Thank God I have my grandmother's ring to use when this shit finally comes around. I can't imagine dropping that much money on a piece of jewelry.

9/14/2011 11:18:36 AM

Pikey
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We've been pretend ring shopping before, so I know what she likes. But she picks out pretty ridiculous rings when she was just fooling around. Like $40000. I don't think she is the superficial type normally. But she is going to be a doctor, so she'll need something decent.

9/14/2011 11:20:08 AM

Wraith
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The concept of diamond engagements as a "requirement" for marriage enrages me. I'd much rather spend that money on an awesome honeymoon.

9/14/2011 11:22:58 AM

evlbuxmbetty
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the standard jewelry markup (even for diamonds) is 10-20x the cost of the materials.

the ring probably is 'one-of-a-kind' in terms of fitting it for the stone, but is the stone itself actually remarkable? two months isnt that long for the life of an engagement ring also, esp for baileys since that 'one-of-a-kind' ring has been cut hundreds of other times.

haggling with somewhere like baileys is difficult, they're protected by the fact that you're just one person and they'll sell that ring eventually and/or its not killing them that its just sitting there.

if you want mytwocents then i'd go antique estate stuff, way cooler but thats just my personal preference. give me a gorgeous 2ct cushion cut solitaire any day and i'd be happy too.

good luck!

p.s. i'd still haggle retail, i do it at the mall anyways, it makes it interesting and if nothing else they let you use a coupon that you didn't walk in with.

EDIT: ask to see the rings 'papers', and see if they do in-house grading (i'm sure they do), that will give you a better idea about that particular ring, if you like the style, there may be a better stone out there and someone can make you a setting (including baileys if you like their setting)

[Edited on September 14, 2011 at 11:31 AM. Reason : blah]

9/14/2011 11:26:49 AM

DivaBaby19
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Quote :
"Other women would be snubbed by a ring worth only 3 months salary."


worth and cost are two totally different animals

9/14/2011 11:27:27 AM

Byrn Stuff
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Quote :
"But she is going to be a doctor, so she'll need something decent."


Her thoughts or yours? Does she want a ring to her lifestyle or something?

9/14/2011 11:29:51 AM

bmel
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A wedding being a requirement for marriage enrages me. I do want a decent ring tho so guys will see it across the room and fuck off. To me is seems like a tiny diamond wouldn't be intimidating enough or maybe that is just me making excuses.

9/14/2011 11:30:46 AM

Pikey
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It's not like diamonds have a shelf life and will go bad. Or even go out of style. It's not like there are 2012 model year diamonds that jeweler have to make room for on the showroom floor. I don't see how you can haggle much regarding this.




Quote :
"Her thoughts or yours? Does she want a ring to her lifestyle or something?"

Mine. I want to be able to provide well enough.





[Edited on September 14, 2011 at 11:33 AM. Reason : edit]

9/14/2011 11:31:31 AM

DivaBaby19
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well my excuse is I wear a size 8-9 on my ring finger...so a small diamond would get lost

9/14/2011 11:31:58 AM

Samwise16
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I know lots of doctors who don't wear their rings to work (well, depending on what specialty they're in). But if you're birthing babies or are the type of doctor where you get your hands all up in people's body, I wouldn't wear my ring to work


I was kinda shocked at what my fiancé spent on mine, but I think he put it in a nice way - he wanted to get me something I deserved and would love, and it wouldn't have mattered if it were cheaper or more expensive

So, ultimately, I think that's what matters the most... Unless she's a gold digger and demands like a 3 carat ring or more

9/14/2011 11:34:00 AM

CassTheSass
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Quote :
"But she is going to be a doctor, so she'll need something decent."


actually, most of my doctor frands usually go with something more basic. the last thing a patient wants is a giant ass diamond up in their face as the doctor is inspecting/investigating.

"say ahhhhhhh"
"ahhhhh OMG you poked my eye out with your cushion cut diamond!"

i think honestly it depends on what you and your significant other feel comfortable with spending and what exactly you're looking for. if the girl doesn't want a diamond but instead another stone then you might not end up spending the "3 month salary amount." but above all it isn't about the price of the ring or the size of the stone but rather the quality of the diamond itself.

9/14/2011 11:34:51 AM

bmel
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Haha I wear a size 5 so I guess 8 I can't use that excuse. But I really don't want anything bigger than a carat. I like quality over quantity.

9/14/2011 11:35:36 AM

pdrankin
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But she is going to be a doctor, so she'll need something decent.


Wearing her ring to work as a medical professional is a good way to spread disease. Germs and crap get under the ring next to the skin. She'll either have to not wear it or wear it around a necklace. I'm sure she already knows this stuff though if she has already taken pathology.

9/14/2011 11:36:09 AM

evlbuxmbetty
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less than 10% of diamonds on the market are >1 carat... its worth it to find a good one to get something rare if you're going for that

9/14/2011 11:36:46 AM

Byrn Stuff
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Quote :
"Mine. I want to be able to provide well enough."


OK, I guess that make sense as a symbol of your ability to provide for her.

9/14/2011 11:37:13 AM

Samwise16
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Also, there are ways to make it look bigger than what it actually is people made jokes to me like "ice skating rink!!!1!" when in reality the diamond is 3/4 carat... Doesn't seem like that qualifies as a skating rink IMO, but I think the halo fools people

9/14/2011 11:37:14 AM

pdrankin
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also, take into account that some women just don't want diamonds. My buddies wife wanted a ruby, my old lady wanted a sapphire....

9/14/2011 11:37:35 AM

Samwise16
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^ this, too

I have a friend who has an emerald engagement ring

9/14/2011 11:38:05 AM

pilgrimshoes
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ding ding ding

~1.25 carat is a classic size, not gaudy. then go as high as you can afford with the quality portions.

that's what i did at least.

9/14/2011 11:38:22 AM

sumfoo1
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lol poasting @ work.. ..

My wife's ring was appraised at roughly 1.5 times what i paid for it.

Which i think is a pretty sweet profit for having a unique ring made.

9/14/2011 11:38:46 AM

Byrn Stuff
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Luckily, my girl wants an aquamarine in a silver setting. Now, I'm stuck trying to find a good-looking ring that isn't super cheap. Like, I know that the cost of the ring isn't as important as the sentiment, but paying $300 for an engagement ring seems...wrong?

9/14/2011 11:40:07 AM

CassTheSass
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Quote :
"I have a friend who has an emerald engagement ring"


i think emeralds are actually worth more than diamonds

but i could be wrong.

^ have you gone to Baileys? we went there not that long and when i was shooed away to go look at other stuff the store had, i saw some really beautiful gems in nice settings.

also, why a silver setting? why not white gold?

[Edited on September 14, 2011 at 11:43 AM. Reason : more questions]

9/14/2011 11:41:13 AM

Byrn Stuff
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I haven't yet. I've done little but poke about online seeing what's out there.

She didn't specify silver as a metal just silvery not gold-colored. I'm sure white gold would be acceptable.

9/14/2011 11:44:42 AM

sumfoo1
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My wife's is an emerald.

Clean emeralds cost $$$$$$$$ because they almost don't exist.




[Edited on September 14, 2011 at 11:55 AM. Reason : size]

9/14/2011 11:54:06 AM

Morphine Boy
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Well I'll go ahead and tell you this about the aquamarine:

If she wants the silver color and not silver the metal, go for white gold. Sterling Silver (aside from high-end treated stuff like Tiffany's) will tarnish when worn daily in about six months. You're gonna want to go for a white gold.

Also, if this is an engagement ring, don't go for something lab-created. While a lab-created stone IS IN FACT a real stone (contrary to popular opinion of "it's fake!"), it has absolutely zero imperfections which in turn make it look fake. Do what you can to find a natural aquamarine in a white-gold setting.

And unless she specifically wants a Tiffany's setting (the one where it's just the stone on top of a thin band of metal), then ask for a vintage mounting. They are extremely popular right now.

Designer LeVian is sexy. The one below is an aquamarine set in 14K white gold with diamond and chocolate diamond accents. You want a non-traditional engagement ring that will still drop jaws. There you go. (LeVian also comes with a lifetime repair guarantee including stone replacement... from ANY retailer, doesn't have to be Kays)



(And that emerald above looks great!)

[Edited on September 14, 2011 at 11:58 AM. Reason : fte (for the emerald)]

9/14/2011 11:55:58 AM

evlbuxmbetty
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that emerald is beautiful, good job

9/14/2011 11:57:40 AM

Pikey
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I heard women that ask for stones other than a diamond because it is easier to pass off as just a regular piece of jewelry in case they want to cheat and don't want to come off as married.

9/14/2011 11:58:57 AM

wolfpackgrrr
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^^^ See to me that just looks gaudy as hell

Quote :
"The concept of diamond engagements as a "requirement" for marriage enrages me. I'd much rather spend that money on an awesome honeymoon.
"


Hell yeah, honeymoon is worth more in my book

^ That's retarded.

[Edited on September 14, 2011 at 12:03 PM. Reason : a]

9/14/2011 12:02:14 PM

Byrn Stuff
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Thanks, Morphine Boy and CassTheSass. You've been really helpful

9/14/2011 12:02:26 PM

pdrankin
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^that is the dumbest thing i've ever heard. How is it any harder to cheat. Are you assuming that all men are righteous and wouldn't sleep with a woman if she is married?

9/14/2011 12:03:24 PM

Samwise16
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Well the girl I know who had an emerald didn't have one big stone.. I was smaller emeralds set around a unique band

9/14/2011 12:06:20 PM

Pikey
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If the woman didn't want to cheat, she could say it was a wedding ring. If she wanted to cheat, she could say "Oh see? It's not a diamond. It's not a wedding ring." Most guys (who may be taking morality into account) are dumb enough to accept when given the chance at some sex.

9/14/2011 12:07:29 PM

jbrick83
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Quote :
"Most guys (who may be taking morality into account) are dumb enough to accept when given the chance at some sex."


Most guys don't give a shit and will fuck her anyway.

9/14/2011 12:09:33 PM

raiden
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diamonds direct had some great rings when I was shopping for one.

9/14/2011 12:11:54 PM

Morphine Boy
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Quote :
"^^^ See to me that just looks gaudy as hell "


Oh it's definitely for specific people that like a thicker band and a lot of bling. People that like something more Tiffany-setting style would probably go for something a little more:



Aside from that being a Sapphire (durrr), this one still has the "vintage setting" with a much thinner band and not as much going on around the focal point of the ring itself.

That being said, I'm starting to slip back into sales mode, so I'm going to stop volunteering info. haha

And switching topics completely, diamond engagement rings are really only popular in North America. Everyone over here in Hungary thinks my wife's ring is fake because it's a big set. (It looks awesome though. Really proud of it. We had the band made to match the ring)

9/14/2011 12:13:09 PM

Samwise16
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I wanted a diamond because it's my birth stone

And no one ever gives me my birth stone

9/14/2011 12:15:11 PM

sumfoo1
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@ pikey yeah thats a dumb argument #1 that same guy would accept "i'm just engaged" as an excuse if one only wears the big ring. The colored ring not being a wedding ring thing won't work with a 2nd ring butted up against it.


and if you're that worried about your wife cheating, you probably shouldn't have married her.


[Edited on September 14, 2011 at 12:18 PM. Reason : .]

9/14/2011 12:16:52 PM

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