don't drink pee

10/31/2011 11:40:55 AM

^lol

10/31/2011 11:49:13 AM

Things my dad always told us:
The shit rolls down the hill.
you want to be at the top of the hill.

What did the rolling stones say???
then he would sing you can't always get what you want

also he would do like Joie's dad about the it isn't fair.

11/1/2011 9:46:21 AM

Quote :

"don't cheat on anything: not a test, not your taxes and certainly not your girlfriend/boyfriend husband/wife."

"Whenever you cheat, you're only cheating yourself"




Separately:


"Men don't cry."

11/1/2011 8:51:24 PM

Quote :

"If you're going to do something, do it right the first time so you don't have to come back and fix it later"

Stupid advice. The correct advice is to make a reasonable number of mistakes in order to learn how to do something correctly. You can't plan everything, and because you can't plan everything, you shouldn't become some risk averse pussy who is afraid of the unknown.

Also, Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.

[Edited on November 2, 2011 at 3:05 AM. Reason : .]

11/2/2011 3:01:38 AM

^it means "Don't do a half-assed job."


Don't ducktape a hole on your roof. Fix it right the first time.

Don't paint over a rust spot. Fix it right the first time.

11/2/2011 3:47:40 AM

In no particular order........

1. Plan your work, and work your plan.

2. You can't hit a homerun unless you step up to the plate.

3. Follow the Golden Rule.

4. Integrity is what you do when no-one is looking.

5. Raise your kids in the church.

11/3/2011 9:26:17 AM

1. Like
2. Very much Like.
3. Like with the added "don't expect others to follow the same and plan accordingly".
4. No opinion
5. WARNING WARNING WARNING

11/3/2011 9:45:42 AM

Don't illegally download music, because if you do:

11/3/2011 9:58:08 AM

because i said so
don't spit into the wind
never borrow or lend money to your friends
life isn't fair
if you want something done right, do it yourself
it sucks to be first in line b/c that means you've waited the longest
condoms: use them
you always want what you can't have
there's no sex in the champagne room
don't go to parties with metal detectors
no one goes to hooters for wings
if a girl has a pierced tongue, she'll probably suck your dick
if a guy has a pierced tongue, he'll probably suck your dick
never give money to homeless people, or to strangers
classes: nothing before 11AM unless you absolutely have to
coffee is your best friend, drink lots of it
never strike first, that's assault, if they hit you first it's self defense
all women are whores and liars, except for mom
always trust your gut
always wipe front to back
if you can't be happy by yourself, don't expect to be happy with someone else
stay away from political parties and foreign entanglements
work smarter, not harder
sometimes your best just isn't good enough
experience is life's greatest teacher
always look before you leap
before you try to beat the odds, make sure you can survive the odds beating you
nobody likes a know-it-all
it's never as bad as it seems

11/3/2011 10:36:13 AM

Quote :

"because i said so"

The fast lane to resentment.

11/3/2011 11:52:16 AM

Quote :

"never strike first, that's assault, if they hit you first it's self defense"

depending on the outcome of the macdonald's trial

11/3/2011 2:39:18 PM

Don't trust yourself.

Use math and logic as much as possible. Always have a proof for everything you do and say.

Don't make decisions based on your senses.
You've seen optical illusions and magic tricks with your eyes and see things that aren't there.
You've felt papercuts hurt worse than a severe cut.
You can't smell your own breath despite its location.
You've heard ventriloquists throw their voice
You've tasted artificial flavors

Use a combination of the senses, logic, and reasoning to ensure your senses are working properly.
Analyze your senses right now while they are working so you have something to compare them by when you feel like they aren't working.

[Edited on November 3, 2011 at 3:23 PM. Reason : .]

11/3/2011 3:06:47 PM

Watch how your friends treat other people, because one day thats how they're going to treat you.

11/3/2011 3:38:07 PM

Only give a favor to your friend or family members once until they return a favor back. After they return a favor, you may do them another favor.

Never help a friend or family member twice in a row, or else they're taking advantage of you.

Never take a favor from a friend unless you return a favor back.


(exclusions, of course, are sicknesses, health problems, lifesaving deeds, affordability of favor, size of favor, etc...)

11/3/2011 3:51:46 PM

Quote :

"Use a combination of the senses, logic, and reasoning to ensure your senses are working properly. Analyze your senses right now while they are working so you have something to compare them by when you feel like they aren't working."

11/3/2011 10:09:02 PM

1. People are stupid: Okay, maybe that's unfair, but the truth is that everyone makes mistakes and a lot of people make a lot of mistakes. Don’t be surprised when it happens. You will find people that can't comprehend basic concepts, that will forget things you have just told them, that won't understand simple logic, that won't know how they should act, that will know how they should act but don't, that will follow the crowd easily, that can’t see the big picture, that can't apply knowledge to new situations, etc. Anyone, regardless of age, sex, education, or experience, can misjudge reality or make a bad decision anytime. Deal with it, never underestimate it, and realize it is the source of most bad things that happen.

2. Most people are the same: Biologically, we're all pretty similar. Most of us have the same basic senses, pleasures, and pains. This means three things. First, differences among people should usually be attributed to external factors, not a person’s disposition. Second, most people throughout all places and times have the same fears and desires. Third, other people think like you do more often than you might think.

3. A person’s life is shaped by others: The frequency and impact of this cannot be understated. People live the first years of their lives being taken care of by others. They identify what is normal through others. They are taught right and wrong by others. They look to others for comfort, friendship, camaraderie, and love. They look to others to determine reality and their place in the world. Connections to others can be very strong and can even be prized more highly than considerations for truth or logic.

4. Most things don't have a big effect on your happiness: Besides family, friends, and health, few things are likely to have a huge impact on your life. You can get used to having any amount of money. Whether you win or lose a game, it probably won’t matter the day after it’s over. New toys and new locations probably won’t dramatically change your life and your failures and losses probably won't destroy your life. Focus on what matters.

5: Reality of causality: Things happen as they’re made to happen, according to the existence of matter and energy, their properties, and physical laws. If you want to accomplish something, work with what exists; wishful thinking accomplishes nothing.

6. People can rationalize anything: People want to believe their thoughts are correct and consistent and that the universe is good and fair. If something disrupts this belief, people may go to great lengths to regain it. They can make excuses for any contradiction or misdeed. They can decide that a victim is partially responsible for the bad things that happen to him. If their behavior is different from their attitudes, they might change their attitudes. If you care about truth, try to make your thoughts reflect reality, not the other way around.

7. Nearly everything is a blessing and a curse: People tend to judge events as simply “good” or “bad,” but few experiences are completely one or the other. Gifts and privileges can isolate you and leave you with nothing to work for. Difficulties and mistakes can increase your knowledge and skills and give you a story to tell.

8. People are smart: While people are frequently stupid, you can never count on it. Their ingenuity can surprise you.

9. People are selfish: People always try to do what they think is best to them. For most, this is heavily related to self-benefit. On some level, everyone looks out for themselves.

10. People are caring: While they may often be rude and, of course, selfish, people are caring when it matters. When people need help, people help people.

11. Hindsight is clear: Everything seems obvious once you know the outcome. Predicting the future isn’t as easy. Be careful not to overestimate how you’ve “known something all along.”

12. The Primacy effect: Everything is judged in context of the past. Therefore, the most important event is the first one. First impressions and first performances can last forever.

13. If there’s no accountability, don’t expect anything to be done: According to rule 9, people will only work hard when they expect self-benefit. Similarly, they will only work hard when they get credit for whatever good or bad that happens.

14. Plan for the future, live in the present: You need to pay proper attention to both. If you neglect your happiness in the present, you might never be happy. If you neglect to prepare for the future, you might not have the means to live as you want for the rest of your life.

15. Nobody tries to be evil: In fiction and real life, there are many people and organizations that are thought to be “evil” and inherently delight in “bad” things happening. In reality, nobody causes misery without a reason. Sure, you might not agree with the reason, but there will be one.

16. Many judgments are relative: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. An object is only big if it is being compared to smaller objects. A person is only rich if he has a lot of money compared to others. Many judgments depend on an observer or a comparison.

17. Never give up hope: Whatever happens, you’ll have the strength to face it and the power to improve it if you never give up the expectation that things can go well.

18. You aren’t very noticeable to others: You spend a lot of time with yourself. You’re aware of everything you do and everything you feel. While you may put a spotlight on yourself, others probably don’t. They aren’t nearly as conscious of what you think or do.

19. People tend to regret what they don’t try to do more than actual mistakes of equal weight: Few errors have horrible long-term consequences, but you’ll miss every experience you don’t have.

20. To have an easy life, follow the crowd: You can find plenty of people to agree with you if you agree with them.

21. Only you can decide what's meaningful: Thousands will tell you what is good and what is right to do, but it is up to you to agree or disagree. You also have to live to please your values, not other people, if you want to live happily.

11/4/2011 9:59:10 AM