^^of course exercise won't fix anythingbut when combined with other factors it can be an important part of the rehabilitation process
5/22/2011 3:17:34 PM
no, the problem is that people ITT are diagnosing the problem as something as simple as having a poor attitude or a case of feeling sorry for himself. I think psychotherapy/meds are probably in order, not just simple talk therapy to get the OP out of the blues.
5/22/2011 3:23:49 PM
i hope he can get the help he needsa lot of people try to cope with mental illness for years, not getting help, but instead choose to engage in self-destructive tendencies that are a subconscious call for helpit sounds like he has gotten past that point though, which is when shit can get hairygood luck to you Spontaneous
5/22/2011 3:29:06 PM
he doesn't sounds like a dude who's crazyhe sounds like a guy who is fucking lostthat happens to nearly everyone at some point, or multiple points, in their liveshe might be in a bit of a hole, finding resources and counseling while trying to cultivate a good lifestyle probably is the answerbut some of you are acting like he's "sick" which he clearly does not seem to be...extra bit... yeah some anti-depressants probably aren't out of the question, but that's still on the "normal" scale of things, come on[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 4:07 PM. Reason : .]
5/22/2011 4:03:31 PM
i don't think anyone here is saying the guy is insane, but it sounds a lot more serious than what prozac and some laps around the track can fix. this doesn't sound like a few months of depression, it sounds like it's been going on for years. it could be something a lot more serious, like bi-polar or borderline. he's not going to get better unless he gets a professional diagnosis. this "he's just lost" bullshit is how people wind up on the streets and addicted to drugs.
5/22/2011 4:26:08 PM
alright, fair enoughthe consensus is that you need to see a professional, Spontaneous, hopefully in a non-institutionalized settingif you don't have money, take bottombaby's advice and see out whatever Human Services exist in whatever state you're currently in to get real professional helpI'll still say that, in the end, it's on you, you need to work to make thing better.good luck, man
5/22/2011 4:36:27 PM
One of my good childhood friends had a somewhat similiar experience earlier this year, and obviously others ITT have had some experiences too. I think issues like this are probably more common than most of us think. I don't say that to lessen your situation, I'm only saying that you are not alone, and you aren't some sort of freak or loser.Lots of other people have overcome these type of mental situations, My buddy is well on his way, but you can tell it is going to take time and a lot of effort. He has gotten counseling help. I feel that, with time and effort, you will be able to overcome as well.Just don't be too proud or embarrassed to ask for help. That was one of my friend's problems, he thought we would judge him or that we weren't good enough friends for him to ask anything from us (even if it was just time on the phone). The reality was we all just wanted to help.
5/22/2011 7:20:19 PM
just too many words to read
5/22/2011 9:31:56 PM
This might be a stretch for you since I am not sure if you are spiritual or have any religious affiliationsIn addition to the exercise and happy drugs, I really recommend that you join some sort of church. Even if it isn't with religious intentions at first, just to sing praise and worship songs with a crowd of people is very invigorating for me. Like you, I sing as well. Instead of becoming silent when I'm sad, I sing even more. It helps to lift me up, and sometimes when the lyrics are right, it gets me to cry a nice and healthy cry.I picked something out for you to get you started if you're interested:This is the part where God speaks to the listener and it's pretty awesome:these times you're healingand when your heart breaksthe times that you feel like you've fallen from gracethe times you're hurtingthe times that you healthe times you go hungry and are tempted to stealin times of confusion and chaos and painim there in your sorrow under the weight of your shameim there through your heartacheim there in the stormmy love i will keep you by my power alonei dont care where you've fallen, where you have beeni'll never forsake youmy love never ends, it never ends ]
5/22/2011 11:54:13 PM
ALL I WANTED WAS A PEPSIAND SHE WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO MESpontaneous FTW
5/23/2011 1:45:23 AM
just wanted to comment that the one Arab-looking girl you dated, whom you've posted pics of in the Facebook/beautiful face threads, is fucking hot. also, you're a good writer and obviously an intelligent, substantial, good-hearted person. here's hoping things pick up for you ]
5/23/2011 2:23:55 AM
5/23/2011 4:59:47 AM
Sounds like you're off to a good start. Best of luck.
5/23/2011 9:16:53 AM
Glad to see you're back on path.
5/23/2011 1:48:02 PM
I never knew Spontaneous took himself so seriously and cared so much about money and girls. And I think it's weird that, in all these words, he doesn't have a bad thing to say about himself.And anybody who actually says stuff like, "It's a process," needs to get punched in the face.I really like Spontaneous though. This thread just doesn't seem like the guy who makes all those other posts.
5/23/2011 2:08:16 PM
I'm sorry... did you roll some dice and have it come up "be a cunt"?
5/23/2011 2:20:02 PM
i was in the mental hospital for 3 weeks about 10 years ago. it was hell, and i know what you mean about being surrounded by hopeless people there. it made me want to lie and say i was better so i could go home and finish the job already. Spending some time with schizos is a good reality check though... perspectives change a little. for school, nothing is stopping you from going to a community college for two years (and saving a shitload of money) and then transferring to another UNC system school. You don't have to pay back NCSU or resolve your expulsion that way. I don't know how many credits you are wasting that way, but starting over could be a good thing if your problems were affecting your schooling/gpa at the time... I know mine paid a heavy toll. It would probably be a good idea for you to plan on taking your meds and trying to stay put somewhere for at least one year, regardless of job/friend/gf situation. That's how you create yourself some stability. I hope you have found a housing situation that is going to work out for a while.
5/23/2011 2:23:37 PM
^^AHA, I'm sure he can handle a little cunt.If not, everybody just pretend I said: Sorry to hear about your recent troubles, man. I'm glad to hear that you were able to find some help! Good for you!
5/23/2011 2:37:42 PM
This song has helped me in tough times, Spontaneous...hope you find some peace brother.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsWaFBq8cm0[Edited on May 23, 2011 at 2:51 PM. Reason : df]
5/23/2011 2:47:44 PM
wow, you've never really hit my radar beforebut you're a real bitch
5/23/2011 2:49:49 PM
I know my post seems bitchy, but it's just short. When he says "increasingly lackluster performance," what does that mean? How was it lackluster? Why was it lackluster? Couldn't concentrate? Couldn't come in cause he was unable to get out of bed?When he talks about the money he lent to a friend, what does that mean? Did he lend him all his money? Is he totally broke and stuck in Pittsburgh?What does it mean to pour your heart and soul into somebody? He may not be able to go to State, but why can't he go to another school? Why does he take himself so seriously? When did that start? How much of his recent posts in this thread are the result of his current state of mind? Does he really think that "something external always happens to destroy whatever little progress" he's made?Does he really think he's hardworking, resourceful, and cunning? I thought those were words that most people just put on resumes. And hardworking is good, but resourceful and cunning...that sounds like a hooker.I can't tell what's a joke or not.Why is he writing like that? It's fine and even pleasant to read at places, but it's affected. Isn't it weird how we do that? Affect a different voice in order to talk about difficult things? And why so many cliches? At times, he seems open and desires to share, but then he just tosses out a pat cliche and moves on. I get that a lot of you are friends with him outside of posts to this forum, but in these posts and these posts alone, he hasn't actually told us anything.
5/23/2011 3:57:09 PM
And I want to know more about this best friend/roommate. He seems like a bad dude who took advantage of this situation for money and likely more. He's making the rent with borrowed money, getting drunk and high (guessing), and playing video games...while his best friend (who has had issues in the past apparently) is slipping into an episode that required hospitalization. WTF? We don't have many details, but this sounds abusive to me.
5/23/2011 4:22:40 PM
Embedding for MrLuvaLuva85.. thanks for sharing this, I loved it and I hope Spontaneous does too.
5/23/2011 5:21:33 PM
I just wanna say "good luck!"
5/23/2011 6:39:17 PM
Yeah, I want to be clear that I wish Spontaneous the best of luck as well. I'd like to apologize if my comments seem antagonistic. I am genuinely curious.[Edited on May 23, 2011 at 7:04 PM. Reason : And the punch in the face thing was a joke!]
5/23/2011 6:59:18 PM
I want to be clear that I think you're an idiot.
5/23/2011 7:10:44 PM
I can't help it. Making an ass of myself is just what I do.
5/23/2011 7:15:26 PM
No, you can help it, that's one of the entire points of this thread. Maybe you need to self-examine a bit. I know you think you're being cute, but we're all taking this kind of seriously. You're not helping.
5/23/2011 7:18:13 PM
I can relate to this more than I care to admit.
5/23/2011 7:31:07 PM
^^I am taking this seriously.There are so many details missing here and some areas that do not appear to be accurate assessments of reality. And yet everybody is just doling out advice and congratulations, as if they know what happened.He is a super awesome guy, and I've loved reading his hilarious posts over the years...but something is very wrong here.I wish I could go back and not have posted at all (I tried to not to post at first), but since I've already started down this road, I guess I'll be the first to say it: he appears to be deluded. And, based on some of the reactions in this thread, I suspect that some of you didn't even bother to read his long story. I have to trust my interpretation of this thread, and I also trust that he will be fine with that.[Edited on May 23, 2011 at 8:01 PM. Reason : And now I feel bad again. Like I need to apologize again.]
5/23/2011 7:42:56 PM
Aww, now I feel really bad.I hate this website. I always feel so guilty about stuff.I quit. Sorry if I hurt anybody's feelings. I won't be posting anymore.
5/23/2011 9:08:21 PM
I'll try not to be so mean. Maybe it's because you're a girl, but everything he mentioned in the first two posts sounds kind of reasonable for a guy who has completely lost his way (other psychological issues aside.)It's not good but it's certainly within the bounds of understanding. Also, there have been several other people who have posted in the thread talking about similar experiences either about themselves or people they know. People lose their shit sometimes. It happens.Spontaneous appears to be making a good restart. He should be applauded, not questioned.
5/23/2011 10:08:27 PM
^^yeah, just stop. Sometimes I agree with your posts, but the ones in this thread were pretty dumb.I might be a presumptuous prick, but at least the anonymous, unsolicited advice I give comes from an honest place. I don't know the dude in real life, but it sounds like his issues are pretty real and he needs help, not snarky ribbing.[Edited on May 23, 2011 at 10:13 PM. Reason : asdf]
5/23/2011 10:13:15 PM
I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS BridgetSPK!Nah, you're good. I've given myself too much credit for some circumstances and not enough credit for others.And now for itemized responses to your posts.
5/24/2011 12:02:14 AM
no offense, but that lengthy reply was
5/24/2011 12:22:58 AM
^^Knowing that you hate yourself makes me feel so much better. AHAI mean, I know that you're awesome, and I hope you know it, too, but with the absence of self-loathing or some sort of joking self-deprecation, I thought you had totally lost it.Whew!^You and I are so totally different cause that reply made perfect sense to me and seems completely normal and appropriate.[Edited on May 24, 2011 at 12:45 AM. Reason : ]
5/24/2011 12:42:34 AM
birds of a feather...
5/24/2011 1:15:47 AM
^guy got expelled, became homeless and nomadic twice bouncing from Raleigh to Pittsburg to NC to Iowa, to Vegas to Pittsburg again? met some girl at his boys wedding and facebook chatted it up, "dated" and then got dumped (I assume) due to distance and other factors. got depressed and suicidal, checked into mental hospital. depression stems from lack of womens for years, lack of creativity, and not being able to get into State. why'd you get expelled? like others have said, exercise and do something somewhat scholarly. read books or start writing. maybe even a blog that only you read just to get your creativity back. women don't want guys with baggage and sitting around playing videogames and eating or whatever is counter productive. do what you can to make yourself more appealing to women rather than enter a downward spiral. get your head right and get back into State or go to another school. I don't know what year you were when you got expelled or what it was for but I have friends that have failed out of schools and gone to other NC universities, graduated, and nobody was any the wiser.
5/24/2011 4:15:24 AM
I'd been avoiding dating for a long time, until I got all the baggage issues resolved, but things were getting better and I thought I'd give this girl a shot. And then she cheated on me, so whatevs. Kinda saw it coming. She wasn't a very good girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, it still fucking hurt.The expulsion occurred after I tried to end it all in 2007. The school has a hold on my records until I'm sane, so my only option is to go to a community college.Anyway...I'm working on fixing things. If there any other gaping holes in my autobiography, just ask.
5/24/2011 5:05:36 AM
^So, I've only read the top post on your blog, and it's fantastic. You really have serious writing talent. And I'm not just saying that because you're fragile right now On the topic of this thread, good for you for seeking help, and please continue to do so. Even if it's just sending a pm to anonymous TWW users, find someone who will listen. [addendum: for those of you who think I'm saying skip the counseling with an actual doctor, I am not, I'm just saying people, even those you don't know, will listen]. While the self-deprecating works for you in your writing style, don't let it color your view of yourself as a whole. Improve the things you don't like about yourself, but also improve the things you already do well. Good luck. And for as shitty as TWW can be to people sometimes, I think there are people on here who will genuinely wish you well, even those of us who have never met you. I think that's evident from every post in this thread.
5/24/2011 9:12:53 AM
Dude, everybody has problems with work, friends, relationships and otherwise. You need to sit back and look at where and who you want to be and then do something about it.You have recognized some of your self flaws, now you need to do something about it other than complain and be cowardly. If you know that you are too clingy and that it tends to drive off girls, work on not being so clingy. Talk to them about it. If you are not happy with the way you look, do something about it. I know that you cant change the short part, but you can change the fat, pasty, shitty teeth, and bad vision.You admitted that you slacked at work and that is why you got fired and this says a lot about your drive and direction that you life is taking. Find a job that you can enjoy.Quit loaning money to your friends, it causes nothing but problems.Sounds like you are a socially maladjusted dork who would rather cut and complain than do something to make his life better.
5/24/2011 10:27:20 AM
5/24/2011 10:50:01 AM
Ah, the tough love posts. ^^ I don't know if I'm maladjusted as much as I get pissed and pout when things don't go my way. Wait, that's kinda what you said. Yeah, I'm maladjusted.^ Thought I touched upon that I'm counseling now. Should have a normal life by 2020.
5/24/2011 11:04:19 AM
ive been through some tough times. the key is to become a narcissist.
5/24/2011 11:19:14 AM
you didn't answer "did you voluntarily commit yourself"it looks like this was voluntary, which leads me to say two things: firstly, referring to it as "being institutionalized" is incorrect. Please reserve that statement for the involuntarily committed people. Secondly, this is the most overly dramatic and ridiculous piece of writing I have ever read. You refer to the hospital as "the Funny Farm," make a point to state its no cell phone policy, and the people in the hospitals are "Disturbed souls that long for a quick end to their simple chemical suffering." You are pathetically ignorant, among other things (just pathetic).
5/24/2011 11:40:10 AM
^
5/24/2011 11:45:21 AM
^^ way to totally miss the point of this thread, dickfuck
5/24/2011 11:52:17 AM
5/24/2011 12:04:03 PM
I actually somewhat applaud Spontaneous for writing all that for... TWW of all places.I've never been in a life situation like that, but sometimes I wonder how I've avoided it with the tendencies that I know I have. We all have something we struggle with, but the intensity of those struggles are quite different from person to person, and I feel like most people figure out some comfortable life situation to "settle" with, which surely avoids the problems described in the OP.Sometimes I wonder if happiness is even in the cards for myself. It's easy to take those thoughts to get a self-destructive streak going on, and given the type of person I think uses TWW, my guess is that virtually all of the audience here sympathizes to some degree.Interesting to see comments about exercise and stuff like that. I've tried to use exercise as therapy myself, but of course it comes up short, and more often than not I get bored of doing it and my activity wains and eventually I stop. Well, that's the case for when I do it the wrong way. I've realized that exercise truly is important, but it must exist in some larger context. It is the perfect thing to get you participating in a regular group, which helps you in more ways than is apparently obvious.Regimenting one's life can help a lot too. Sometimes I think the best approach to take would be to get a life coach, because without something like that efforts in that area are almost certain to be fruitless. Spontaneous might feel bad for how he/she handled the other people in his/her life through the downward spiral but the reality is that we need those relationships for recovery more than any other time in our lives.Oh yeah, and the youtube videos in this thread are
5/24/2011 2:31:51 PM
^ to each his own...my video (the song actually) helped me...so maybe it'll help others...worth sharing IMO even if 1/100 (or less) people get something out of it[Edited on May 24, 2011 at 3:05 PM. Reason : asdf]
5/24/2011 3:03:37 PM