2

2/2/2009 3:35:21 PM

oh yeah

hipsters always have friends

2/2/2009 3:45:26 PM

Quote :

"3. not gonna front here - switch political parties"

i hope youre joking.




[Edited on February 2, 2009 at 4:28 PM. Reason : dfyhg]

2/2/2009 4:27:54 PM

The best way to make new friends is to be yourself no matter where you go. For me, it seems like the less I care about people in general, the more people want to be around me. I've never understood this social phenomenon, and it has been a constant for me ever since grade school. Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy people and consider myself a people person by sharing stories and good laughs, but at the end of the day I keep it real. Nobody likes a doormat.

2/2/2009 4:39:13 PM

because people want to want stuff. its like the whole "want what you can't have thing" when someone starts to ignore someone, they get worried theyre mad at them and try to hang out more so they still know they are cool.

2/2/2009 4:57:09 PM

I'd be game for a TWW get-together as well.

2/2/2009 5:01:08 PM

This thread couldn't be more relevant for me. Its tough meeting people in a different area and I seem to been in Raleigh meeting up w/ people more than I should.

2/2/2009 8:42:55 PM

Quote :

"i hope youre joking."

i'm totally not joking

if you're under 30 years old and you're looking to meet people

being an active democrat is the place to be

i can't tell you how much Obama-ass was going around on the campaign trail, at volunteer offices, and just in general...

i can't believe how hard it is for people to understand that the republican party is not the place to meet other young people right now

2/2/2009 9:03:25 PM

this thread is relevant to my interests.

i feel a little better knowing a lot of people are in this same predicament.

2/2/2009 9:18:22 PM

Quote :

"because people want to want stuff. its like the whole "want what you can't have thing" when someone starts to ignore someone, they get worried theyre mad at them and try to hang out more so they still know they are cool."

not me.. i'd work hard for an established friend. in fact, i've worked hard to stay friends with a good friend from college and she just doesn't reciprocate anymore so i just let it go

as far as new friends, if someone was ignoring me i'd say fuck it and move on, guess we dont click as friends

2/2/2009 9:20:51 PM

yes but you're a girl with boobs

so i mean

not exactly the same situation here

2/2/2009 9:21:39 PM

im talking about girlfriends here... guy friends are a dime a dozen but i still need girls i can drink wine with, have girls night, go shopping, talk ab girl crap etc.. thats pretty much what i miss the most. all the other friend activities are satisfied. i just want to be girly with some girlfriends...

(i feel like carrie in sex and the city after she moved to paris and saw the girls in the cafe having fun!)

2/2/2009 9:27:50 PM

i still think it'd be easier for someone in your situation to approach a stranger than it would be for someone in repub's situation

and i'm sure there are studies out there i could google

but i'm just gonna work off my assumption here if its ok with everybody else

2/2/2009 9:32:38 PM

i understand your point but im looking for girlfriends and we all know that female social interactions and friendships are an enigma

i cant just roll up to a chick at a bar and make nice, or a bookstore or whatever. the first thing you think is oh wow this person is weird and desperate. luckily i met one girlfriend at a bookclub and we hang out and stuff but it's not a close friendship

i'd do the church thing if i was into religion. i feel like going to church just to meet people is like switching political parties to meet people

2/2/2009 9:37:00 PM

This will seem TOTALLY random, but....

All of my best friends are my scuba diving buddies. In fact, the huge majority of my friends these days are active divers. It is a social activity (albeit expensive), is fun, and opens up a whole new world to you that you didn't know existed.

When you and a few of your dive buddies go places where essentially no one else goes, or sees things that no one else sees, when you practice together, when you travel together, when you see the shark at 100ft deep 35 miles offshore on the 100-year old wreck together, when you come to a huge room in a cave system together...you can be a pretty tight-knit group.

Besides, active divers tend to weed out the turds -- if you're not safe, no one could depend on you in an emergency. If we had something happen 2,000ft back in a cave, I want someone I can depend on there with me.

So yeah -- we're more than friends, we're dive buddies.

[Edited on February 2, 2009 at 9:41 PM. Reason : ]

2/2/2009 9:41:33 PM

Quote :

"the first thing you think is oh wow this person is weird and desperate."

well yeah if you're just like "hi"

but if you're at the bookstore, you have a built in opening

you almost have to look at this like you're trying to ask them out

"is that book any good? one of my friends is trying to get me to read it/won't shut up about it"

bam

either its a conversation or they think you're weird and desperate

but you're never going to see them again if you don't say anything

2/2/2009 9:46:31 PM

damn I have a hard time meeting new folks too. not cos I dont have friends around here or anything, but it seems like they're always busy with their lives, and dont want to hang out like we used to. of course I dont drink/ do drugs like I used to either so maybe that cancels out some of the hanging out but still.

also I second the TWW get together thing. we could all put on name tags and go up to ruckus

[Edited on February 2, 2009 at 10:01 PM. Reason : ..]

2/2/2009 10:00:58 PM

I like to become friends with a really social person. The good part is, if they're really social then it's easy to be their friend! Then you meet lots of other people through that person. Your people-person friend can do all the work for you

2/2/2009 10:16:15 PM

i totally agree with the diving thing, i know what you're saying!

i got into running during the winter but couldn't find running groups in my area (damn it to hell, living in a fat city! and damn houston for being so big that any running group was a 45min drive!)

now im getting into biking and my bookclub chick is getting into it as well so we're kind of doing that together

joining an interest group is certainly a start. i'm taking a photography class with my bookclub friend, maybe we can meet some girls together

im not saying its impossible and its not like im not trying, im just saying its HARD and certainly takes effort, it doesnt just happen like in college

2/2/2009 10:22:21 PM

A club, sport, or something would be nice but I work irregular hours which makes that tough.

2/2/2009 10:25:42 PM

Yeah, I've been looking into clubs, but with my work schedule, I just can't really find any that work for me. It's like the only time I can really meet people is on weekends. Church it is, I just gotta not drink on Saturday night so I can wake up in time to go.

2/2/2009 10:33:07 PM

Quote :

"if you're under 30 years old and you're looking to meet people being an active democrat is the place to be i can't tell you how much Obama-ass was going around on the campaign trail, at volunteer offices, and just in general..."

Actually, the trick is not being one of the effiminate, emo-boy, or metrosexual guys who tend to flock to Democrat campaigns.

Trust me, Democrat women are attracted to assertive, intelligent, articulate and often right-of-center men . . . so long as they're not from the Palin / Jesus 2012 crowd.

2/3/2009 7:47:33 AM

Quote :

"i cant just roll up to a chick at a bar and make nice, or a bookstore or whatever."

If guys thought this way, no one would ever get laid.

2/3/2009 7:52:37 AM

I think a good approach to take is you don't need friends to be happy. It's definitely not the case for most people, but I honestly feel this is the case for me. Even though I'm considered a people person and love to entertain and have fun, I'm not the type of friend that makes plans to do stuff with you or the type that throws themed parties. I'm the kinda friend that shows up and has fun. I only really have like 2 or 3 best friends that I confide in because I actually trust them, but I have scores of friends that I go out with and have fun. Ultimately, people just want to have fun and if you are funny or entertaining, they want to be around you. What a bunch of monkeys, lol.

2/3/2009 11:31:06 AM

Quote :

"i'd work hard for an established friend. in fact, i've worked hard to stay friends with a good friend from college and she just doesn't reciprocate anymore so i just let it go as far as new friends, if someone was ignoring me i'd say fuck it and move on, guess we dont click as friends"

Thats exactly how I feel. Its nice to have male friends to shoot da shit with and do "guy" things (video games, riding motorcycles etc) but I am with you when you say that you need girl friends to do "girly" things.

But to be honest, my bf's mom and I are quite close in that we do do alot of girly things and I am pretty happy with that. I know for a fact that unlike most girls in their 20s, she isn't going to talk crap behind my back and pretend to be nice to me to my face.

But its a pretty good feeling to be able to interact with some other female. This past weekend her and I watched the Notebook and it was teh awesome!

2/3/2009 11:40:05 AM

Probably already been mentioned here...but try and join some local sports teams.

I live in Charleston and we have this awesome rec league that does really fun sports like kickball and dodgeball. There are other leagues that do softball, flag football, and soccer (indoor/outdoor). The one that does kickball and dodgeball is awesome because they have set events after the league games on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. They'll either go to a certain sports bar or have an oyster roast or big cookout. It's always funny to be out on a Tuesday night and see a bunch of young professionals come out in their kickball t-shirts, sweaty and dirty and order some wings and pitchers of beers.

Other than that...its kind of tough...especially for guys. I'm always adding on new guys friends, but it's usually because I meet them through other friends. So maybe if you've got one or two guys friends that you really enjoy hanging out with, maybe you could try and tag-a-long when they go hang out with other friends.

2/3/2009 12:30:47 PM

It's all about doing something you enjoy and doing it consistently.

I bounced around the country after school, but I always tried to find certain things to do on a consistent basis that I enjoyed. Since I'm a musician, I'd hit up some open mics/songwriter clubs on a weekly basis. Finding something you're passionate about, and then finding other people who are passionate it about the same thing leads to almost instant cohesion.

Also, if you're a drinker -- try finding a bar and becoming a regular. Maybe one that offers something different than the rest. For instance: There's a bar where I live now has beer pong tourneys every thursday night. Every Thursday, there's a good crowd out there -- some regulars, some newbies. It's a really easy way to meet some new people -- almost like being back in college. Like I said though, the key is finding something you find fun and sticking with it.

[Edited on February 3, 2009 at 1:35 PM. Reason : ]

2/3/2009 1:32:43 PM

I haven't met terribly many quality people in bars.

And I've spent my share of time in bars.

2/3/2009 1:54:53 PM

in all honesty, when I think about it myself, I dont think I have ever met someone in a bar and ended up being friends with them.

2/3/2009 2:29:32 PM

Bar friends are more like acquaintances.

The last good friend that I made in a bar ended up getting the living shit kicked out of him after I caught him doing coke in my bathroom.

2/3/2009 2:41:21 PM

Really? I've met some really good people in bars. The key is not drinking yourself belligerent, and not not talking to the people who are already shitfaced (or obviously headed there). I guess going to a more lowkey place where you actually talk to people -- opposed to yelling over music -- helps too.

Like another poster said though, if you can bring someone (really ANYONE) along with you, it'll help. It's always good to have some other person to bounce thoughts/ideas off of.

2/3/2009 3:05:36 PM

I've met plenty of cool people that I've become friends with while working BEHIND the bar. It's a little different because it was part of my job to talk to the patrons...but I've definitely got some good friends that I first met while I was bartending.

As a bartender, I would just make a comment on the game they were watching, or if I heard something in the conversation two patrons were having, I would just interject (politely). You have to have good social skills to do it, but it's definitely possible to make friends at a bar.

2/3/2009 3:34:05 PM

Quote :

"Actually, the trick is not being one of the effiminate, emo-boy, or metrosexual guys who tend to flock to Democrat campaigns. Trust me, Democrat women are attracted to assertive, intelligent, articulate and often right-of-center men"

2/3/2009 9:09:28 PM