Some couples just prefer not to have their guests drinking because children will be running around.

8/13/2007 4:55:58 PM

Quote :

"The Christianity-based argument for not having ANY alcohol is bunk. Jesus drank wine."

He also turned the water into wine for a wedding.

8/13/2007 5:08:54 PM

cause they ran out, and people were gettin' CRUNK

CRUNK JUICE BY JESUS

8/13/2007 5:12:23 PM

I prefer not having children running around.

8/13/2007 5:13:05 PM

Bad. 0/10. Would not attend again.

8/13/2007 5:13:56 PM

Quote :

"Southern..... Baptist. worst weddings evar."

my x-boyfriends wedding was dry. If ever in gods name did i need an alchohic beverage that was it, but no it was dry as a bone

8/13/2007 5:19:51 PM

Quote :

"Some couples just prefer not to have their guests drinking because children will be running around."

Reminds me of going to an uncle's wedding. He's my mom's youngest brother. My other uncle and aunt were there with their two young kids...and one of them found an unattended keg and decided she liked beer. She was falling down trashed...and around four years old. That's a hell of an argument for a dry wedding if I ever saw one.

On the other hand, I had a great-great aunt that was there...she had some kind of palsy and shook constantly. She had a glass of champagne and quit shaking. Mom thought that was a HOOT.

8/13/2007 5:23:54 PM

I went to one this summer. I should've expected it'd be dry, the groom was a pastor's son. Anywho, dry weddings are absolutely unacceptable.

Quote :

"It is more understandable if the wedding is two people without any money or help for the wedding. Maybe they just simply cannot afford alcohol. Even then, how much would a few kegs hurt?"

If it were a money thing, I wouldn'tve minded. But the bride had on a ridiculously-expensive Vera Wang original. She had enough money to spring for some booze.

8/13/2007 5:33:30 PM

IF (big if) i ever get married, a dry reception will be my one and only request/requirement. for me, it's out of respect for my parents. i would definitely be down for providing a wild after reception party for all of my friends, etc. though.

8/13/2007 5:34:50 PM

^ thank God my entire family likes to drink.

8/13/2007 5:35:53 PM

While I am all for open bar, why should someone get criticized for how they want to celebrate? Maybe they have a budget, and they had to chose between her getting the dress she wanted or them having the honeymoon they wanted versus paying for everyone's drinks. Are you there for your friend, or just looking to get drunk? Because there are much easier ways to get drunk then attending a wedding.

8/13/2007 5:36:51 PM

Honestly i was dragged to this wedding by a friend of the bride. I knew no one. I was going with the idea of being that weird drunk guy no one knows. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to fullfill that role.

8/13/2007 5:39:28 PM

^ ah, gotcha... well at least you could have gotten up and walked out without hurting anyone's feelings.

8/13/2007 5:42:10 PM

I keep hearing this "are you their friends?" arguement

I have attended SOOO FUCKING MANY OBLIGATION WEDDINGS I WANT TO CRY!

friends of the family, people I grew up with, family members. MANY MANY MANY of which were people I didn't care about and just couldn't WAIT to leave... so free booze would have made the wretched thing at least moderately worthwhile.

I came to the cerimony, I shook their hands/hugged and said congrats... [/obligation]

Weddings that were my actual friends getting hitched have been 2dry and 2 wet, I stuck around for the entirety of both b/c they were my actual friends and I knew people there. but I sure as hell had a better time at the ones with alchohol and from the evenings pretty much everyone else did too


[Edited on August 13, 2007 at 5:46 PM. Reason : theres a massive difference between friends weddings and obligation weddings]

8/13/2007 5:42:17 PM

Open Bar > No Alcohol > Cash Bar


Cash bars are the tackiest thing ive ever seen. If i ever had a wedding with either of the second two options, All my friends and at least half of my family wouldn't even bother showing up.

8/13/2007 5:47:32 PM

Quote :

"NO DRINKING ALOUD"

ONLY SILENT DRINKING

I went to a dry wedding this weekend, so I just had a few nips from my flask. Open bars cost a lot of money - a convention for work I recently went to ran up a tab of about a hundred bucks per person at an open bar. I wouldn't want to shell out $open bar just so all you fucks could run wild all evening (oh wait, yeah I would)

(and don't forget to tip your bartenders)

[Edited on August 13, 2007 at 5:55 PM. Reason : sfasdg]

8/13/2007 5:50:54 PM

Quote :

"theres a massive difference between friends weddings and obligation weddings"

Grow some balls and say I'm not coming if you don't want to go. If they are people you don't care about, what's it matter? Send they a card, maybe a little gift, they aren't going to care.

8/13/2007 5:52:09 PM

^ when your the date of somebody who cares, you have to care enough about that person to go, and then hope that they care enough about you to make sure that your not misserably bored out of your skull... open bars help tremendously

Quote :

"Open Bar > No Alcohol > Cash Bar"

well basically but not entirely on that one... it's why I kinda like the "all you can drink" price...

me personally I don't drink when there are cash bars unless most everyone else is hitting the bar... goes back to the "if your the only person drunk somewhere... you've got a problem" Although cash bars cover people who just want a single drink for sipping enjoyment purposes, not to get wasted on.

I think I would follow the open/no policy too though...



[Edited on August 13, 2007 at 5:55 PM. Reason : obligations extend a lot further when your taken/engaged/married]

8/13/2007 5:52:12 PM

a lot probably has to do with my northern family roots. A wedding to me, is a full formal sit down x course dinner and an open bar, while, from my experience, a southern wedding is a luncheon or a bunch of appetizers thrown around with little to no alcohol. IMO its just tacky to do a toast to celebrate spending the rest of your life with someone, with sparkling cider or punch. If you're grown up enough to get married and take that step, you're grown up enough to have 2 sips of champagne with your family and friends to celebrate it.

Now if you've just recently completed your 12 step AA program, i can kind of see an exception.Other then that, it just seems tacky to me.

i'm only doing it once, so i'm doing it right when i do.

8/13/2007 6:01:11 PM

Heheh. I do remember thinking internally that the bride I was working with looked a bit tacky with her tiera, full-length gown, and a beer bottle clapsed constantly in one hand.

8/13/2007 6:14:28 PM

The above post is hilarious! Most weddings, the bride and groom do not get a chance to have a drink.

The wedding reception is actually about the guests and not the bride and groom.

Most weddings are not intoxicated drunk fests, but people like to have a beer/wine/cocktail the same way that they would like a coke. Expecting a drink does not make them an alcoholic or a bad friend. I have been to 12 weddings and only 2 were dry. Its just a better flow and feel at a wedding that serve drinks. People actually stay, dance and enjoy themselves.

Your guests spend most of the reception waiting around. They wait for the couple to arrive, to serve the food, to cut the cake and having a drink makes it easier.

cash bars are rude and should never happen. There are cheaper ways to do a bar that could fit any budget.

[Edited on August 13, 2007 at 6:20 PM. Reason : k]

8/13/2007 6:18:44 PM

Quote :

"My other uncle and aunt were there with their two young kids...and one of them found an unattended keg and decided she liked beer. She was falling down trashed...and around four years old. That's a hell of an argument for a dry wedding if I ever saw one."

That's a hell of an argument for better parenting.

I respect the right of a couple to have a dry wedding. I definitely wouldn't think less of them for doing so. You can't expect to understand the whole family dynamic and there is a lot more to it than whether or not the couple getting married enjoys alcohol.

That said, when I go to weddings I like to get crunk!

8/13/2007 6:31:04 PM

I had to sit at the kids table when I was 16 at a family friends wedding and got so pissed off, I drank the bottle of champagne that was (mistakenly) placed on the table. It made it much easier to deal with.

I have a feeling that my wedding will be like the "Big Fat Greek Wedding"- my family is loud and loves to be social and hug and eat and drink. And is copious. And I will be inviting all of them, but only a handful of friends. His is very southern baptist, don't drink, and besides the awkward handshake, I dont think they touch each other.

Will there be an open bar?

Hell yes. And it will be a great party. I hope that his family would lighten up around mine, being that they are so loud but easy to get along with.

8/13/2007 6:37:35 PM

Quote :

"there's bad, there's terrible, and then... there this idea"

8/13/2007 6:41:57 PM

Yeh I know a lot of people that do it for cultural reasons?! Who knows.

8/13/2007 7:10:26 PM

we had ~225 people at our reception

the only thing we had to pay for regarding the reception was the alcohol - her parents don't drink except maybe 1 margarita/year - we had free beer / champagne punch - love my friends enough to buy them alcohol but not enough to provide a complete open bar

8/13/2007 7:15:23 PM

Mine and my wife's wedding was dry as well due to the fact that her father is an alcoholic. Knowing that we did not want to have alcohol at the reception, we opted for it to be at the church. However, we did have an open bar at the rehearsal dinner.

I have been to each kind of weddings. Really, it makes no difference to me. Its more about what you can afford. We easily spent $15000 on the wedding. Keep in mind we had about 150 people in attendance. It all adds up quickly.

8/13/2007 7:24:57 PM

Quote :

"There are some families that religiously feel alcohol is inappropriate, and it isn't my place to judge their decision.they're fucking stupid (at least Christians)."

In the unlikely event I get married, the 'rents will have to deal with booze being around.

8/13/2007 7:55:08 PM

Quote :

"I grew up going to church weddings and didn't even KNOW that weddings could be one hell of a good time..."

ah, memories of the church fellowship hall.

up until i was a couple years removed from college when my college friends started getting married, i had no idea wedding receptions could be so lively. my idea of a wedding reception was wedding cake, cucumber sandwiches cut into little squares, maybe some cheese straws or sausage balls, and punch made of ginger ale mixed with lime sherbet. total time spent at the reception was 45 minutes, MAX, and that's basically the time it took to wait for the pictures and greet the couple. you get your snacks, line up, the couple comes in and goes down the greeting line, cuts the cake, and you're out the door. pretty boring and the sooner i could get out, the sooner i could get on with my weekend. especially the obligation weddings.

the most recent wedding i went to was at a country club with a meal and open bar with a dj. i invited a girl i was trying to hook up with to the after party, of which i'd assumed was going to take place but really had no idea where/when/if it was going to happen. she agreed. social lubrication indeed.

[Edited on August 13, 2007 at 8:57 PM. Reason : .]

[Edited on August 13, 2007 at 8:57 PM. Reason : ..]

8/13/2007 8:49:22 PM

I was under the impression that a wedding was about two people getting married and everyone there celebrating that, rather than drinking.

8/13/2007 9:14:55 PM

Quote :

"common if the reception is in the Church"

Yeah, ours was. No one griped about it, but then again we did the food up right. But honestly, if someone was coming to my wedding only for alcohol, I'd hope they STFH.

8/13/2007 9:30:17 PM

We had an open bar for beer and wine and only spent about $150 on alcohol for about 100 people. Yay 3 buck chuck.

8/13/2007 9:38:59 PM

My reception will be dry out of respect for my parents and grandparents. I don't drink myself but if people want something to drink they can bounce and go find somewhere.

8/13/2007 9:41:40 PM

Quote :

"We had an open bar for beer and wine and only spent about $150 on alcohol for about 100 people. Yay 3 buck chuck. "

see exactly a couple 1/2gallons of whiskey vodka gin and mixers for them, a red, a white 3 cases of light various american crap beer a case of regular crap american beer and then I'd probably stash a couple nicer 12packs for the bridal party... Should be able to get out for $250 or so and have plenty of stuff for everyone

[Edited on August 13, 2007 at 9:46 PM. Reason : ^^]

8/13/2007 9:45:47 PM

I used to cater weddings and the dry ones were always horrible.

There's a couple of different ways you can have a wet wedding

1) Open bar, tally and charge everything

2) Open bar, beer and wine provided by caterer, anything else provided by you, caterer provides bartender for a fee

3) Closed bar, but with drink tickets (kinda sucks) but allows you to control how much money you spend

4) Cash bar, if you don't want an open bar this is the most equitable for everyone. The ticket system pisses people off sometimes.

5) No bar, drinks served by caterers (generally champagne and wine only) this is usually included in a normal service fee, so it's usually worthwhile to do this regardless.

8/13/2007 9:55:33 PM

some people have family/friends that don't need to be encouraged to drink

at all. ever.

that's why

8/13/2007 10:08:16 PM

Quote :

"I was under the impression that a wedding was about two people getting married and everyone there celebrating that, rather than drinking dancing"

Quote :

"I was under the impression that a wedding was about two people getting married and everyone there celebrating that, rather than drinking eating"

It's called a celebration people

yes, you can celebrate without alcohol
yes, you can celebrate without food
yes, you can celebrate without dancing

WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING POINT?

I AM SO SICK OF THIS

OMG YOU CANT HAVE FUN WITHOUT DRINKING? BLAH BLAH

yes asshole, I can have fun without drinking
but why should I
it's more fun with alcohol
and food
and dancing


hey gunzz, apples and oranges are both round fruits that grow on trees
YEAH WHAT A COMPARISON

STFU

[Edited on August 13, 2007 at 10:34 PM. Reason : V

8/13/2007 10:08:16 PM

^ you have the critical thinking skills of a middle school kid.



on a related note, all dry weddings that i've been to were so boring that I'd have rather just spent the time stapling my scrotum to my chin.

But I sucked it up and went because I cared enough about the friend and family member to support them on their day.

8/13/2007 10:19:09 PM

Fuck, people actually do this? I couldnt imagine going to a dry reception. If I did two things would come to mind. They are cheap fucks, or total losers.

8/13/2007 10:24:13 PM

Open bar, beer and wine only, FTW!

My wife and I really like our quality alcohol. Our wedding reception was a sit down dinner and we wanted an open bar. Rather than getting ripped off by a caterer for crap beverages we bought the beer and selected the wines ourselves. I think it was Amstel Light, Samuel Adams, and Newcastle for beer and for wine we picked a South American winery that we really liked and got picked up a few cases of a couple different varietals. We even picked up or own bubbles for the toast, a nice Cava from Spain. Its amazing how much cheaper it was and with better quality beverages than would have been provided. We kept one of the two cases of wine leftover, but the other one and the rest of the beer went with the families back to the hotels for further partying. Catering Works was our caterer and they have a nominal fee for handling beverages that you supply, and that includes a bartender, glassware, etc. I remember when we looked at one of the nice hotels in the area for catering you had to use their alcohol and it was basically $4 per Bud Light and $7 per mixed drink. We didn't want hard liquor because shit just gets ugly.

8/13/2007 10:43:57 PM

When you have something that involves every old person you and your spouse have ever known, alcohol is a necessity.

8/13/2007 10:56:11 PM

i will be having an open bar.


but one of my friends had a dry reception out of respect for her parents and then threw an after reception party which was a lot of fun. so it all worked out.

8/13/2007 11:05:35 PM

bad

8/13/2007 11:11:23 PM

Quote :

"Open bar, beer and wine only, FTW!"

Having worked probably 50+ wedding receptions, I will say this is the combo that makes the most people happy, especially the bride and groom, along with a dj/band. At the receptions without one of these, many people are content with the reception, but dry and no live music, most people left after the first hour of hors d'oeuvres, probably just to say they attended it. I've never had so many people ask where the closest grocery store was to get some alcohol.

8/13/2007 11:17:39 PM

Quote :

"I was under the impression that a wedding was about two people getting married and everyone there celebrating that, rather than drinking."

But then you forgot that people are extremely selfish nowadays.

8/14/2007 7:37:40 AM

You also forget how hard it is to 'celebrate' for a long time in a room full of unfamiliar people without some social grease. Sure, there are people that can do it very easily and don't need any help, but then there's the other 85% of humanity.

8/14/2007 7:44:18 AM

Root of it all: I will agree that there are circumstances where there doesn't need to be an open bar. Expecially if the couple is paying for it themselves... I sure as hell don't want to spend $30k on my wedding I'd MUCH rather put that on a house... I personally think large weddings are a COMPLETE waste of money... but I'm a guy, what the hell do I know... and if my future spouses parents want to blow a significant portion of their savings that we wouldn't get in any other form on a wedding then sure what the hell... But I would still lobby for a low key wedding and take the money saved for a house down payment... I just can't freaking see spending that much money. I would elope(sp?) and then throw a massive shindig when we got back... But I've never dated a girl who would remotely agree to that which is where the "I'm a guy what the hell do I know" part comes in.



[Edited on August 14, 2007 at 8:34 AM. Reason : "I'm a guy what the hell do I know": that as a guest it's a hell of a lot more fun with an open bar.]

8/14/2007 8:31:30 AM

Up north it's beer, wine, and liquor open bar. And no one has gotten out of hand at the last four wedding i've been at and they've been a blast.

8/14/2007 9:30:04 AM

youre such a Sweethart

8/14/2007 9:31:21 AM

Hell yeh. My family's big ol catholic weddings are FUN. like not yay i'm hanging out w/ the family fun, but real fun. 200+ people, band, open bar, fun.

an open bar is a must, imo. alcohol definitely loosens people up and gets em all dancing and mingling and having fun.

I've been to a baptist wedding.. lets just say i was home by like 7pm. of course i'm sure theyre not all like that

8/14/2007 9:35:32 AM