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 Message Boards » » Forgetting bf/gf bday. Excusable? Page 1 [2], Prev  
silchairsm
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not excusable at all...

1/31/2007 4:34:39 PM

theDuke866
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why?

what does it really hurt? Absolutely nothing, in practical terms.

You could argue that it shows that he doesn't really care about you, but if other indications are that he does, it's retarded to ignore important things in favor of something that is ultimately trivial.

1/31/2007 4:40:05 PM

dabaker79
Veteran
336 Posts
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Quote :
"People make too big of a deal about their birthdays anyway."


Seriously. Your birthday is not that important, unless you're throwing a huge party where you provide alcohol for free. (Unfortunately, even then, your birthday is still not that important, because it was just eclipsed by free booze!)

Quote :
"
I would say that it's a pretty inconsequential thing, really. At the very least, there are bigger things to worry about. If he's good to go in general, I wouldn't sweat forgetting your birthday at all. Don't miss the forest for the trees."


Good call.

1/31/2007 5:09:43 PM

Golovko
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ITS A BIRTHDAY...THERE WILL BE OTHERS! JUST LIKE THERE WILL BE OTHER BF'S.

the world hasn't ended yet....so yes, excusable.

1/31/2007 5:16:19 PM

KathrynN
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thats some good advice
i hear what everyone is saying.........it helps to get some perspective from you guys sometimes

1/31/2007 5:29:51 PM

roddy
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maybe he is gonna propose to you this weekend....lots of shit would be on his mind....

1/31/2007 5:31:14 PM

KathrynN
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lol true true

1/31/2007 5:33:59 PM

Lutra
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I would say it's inexcusable. My boyfriend has a HORRID memory and he still made it his job to remember my birthday and our anniversary every year. Then again, I don't know your boyfriend, he could be great, he could have been stressed from work or school, who knows.

1/31/2007 6:20:09 PM

Perlith
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Inexcusable and Excusable.

Inexcusable because if they aren't good at remembering such things, they should have an alternate way of keeping track of them by now (i.e. email calendar reminder) if they are serious about the relationship.

Excusable if its not a serious relationship.

(And is this person an alias?)

1/31/2007 6:30:12 PM

nutsmackr
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My parents haven't even called me on my birthday for the past 4 years. Although one year they did, but it didn't count since they were just calling to ask me a question.

1/31/2007 6:30:20 PM

pttyndal
WINGS!!!!!
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hah, I'm horrid with remembering names but I can remember their birthdays quite easily or some reason.

1/31/2007 6:37:25 PM

Golovko
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^^exactly...my parents forget my birthday a lot and they usually remember a day or so later or when they randomly call me and i'm like 'uh its my bday'

1/31/2007 6:58:06 PM

QTPie
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While it may be excusable (that's your choice & yours alone), I wouldn't want to be with someone that inconsiderate.
A birthday is a birthday & they happen every year, but it's still important to you... and after that length of time, he should have known the day.

Not buying you a present is excusable....
Not sending you 4 dozen roses, excusable....
Not saying happy birthday, to me shows a lack of interest or worse.

I hope he has a really good 'excuse'

1/31/2007 7:20:21 PM

KathrynN
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me too

1/31/2007 7:22:00 PM

pmcassel
All American
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The real question is...
are you a superficial bitch?

Maybe he's looking for an easy way out...

1/31/2007 7:25:52 PM

MetalRed
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I honestly forget my own birthday most years. I only remember them because of others reminding me.

But on the other hand, regardless of how unimportant they are to me, i know how much they mean to others and i do my best to be considerate about it

1/31/2007 7:33:30 PM

NCSUDiver
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He's just preparing you for aniversarys in the future.

1/31/2007 7:51:17 PM

Houston
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this thread is worthless without pics

1/31/2007 7:55:22 PM

skokiaan
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Quote :
"People make too big of a deal about their birthdays anyway."


Only inexcusable if you have maturity of a fucking 5 year old.

[Edited on January 31, 2007 at 7:58 PM. Reason : sdf]

1/31/2007 7:57:08 PM

therealramet
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how the hell is forgetting your birthday in any way excusable?

if i forgot my g/f's birthday, then i'd want her to dump me and find someone else....because obviously i don't care for her anymore and I'd rather she be with someone who has the decency to at least remember her damn birthday.

or maybe your guys have only been dating a couple of weeks....or you guys are on a more of a "physical" than an "emotional" relationship, then i guess its okay.

1/31/2007 10:21:10 PM

wilso
All American
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even if i just started dating a girl (like we've been seeing each other for a week or two) and she mentioned her bday was coming up, i wouldn't forget. that's pretty retarded.

1/31/2007 10:23:35 PM

Aristotle
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http://brentroad.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=452863&page=1#9766596

pwnt

1/31/2007 10:32:04 PM

ambrosia1231
eeeeeeeeeevil
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what's inexcusable is thinking that someone forgetting your birthday is a big deal and inexcusable.

1/31/2007 10:32:49 PM

graz
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^^^ in that case, ur supposed to wait till after her bday so u don't have to worry ab it.

seriously though, there are too many factors here. You mentioned something about him being out of town i think, and ab you saying you wanted to celebrate on the weekend. Bottomline, you know him better than anyone else (hopefully) and should be able to decide for yourself if it's a big deal or not. I'd say just let it go, girls tend to dwell on stuff like this way too much when it's not a big deal.

[Edited on January 31, 2007 at 10:34 PM. Reason : ^^^^^^^^^]

1/31/2007 10:33:56 PM

soulfire963
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bur

1/31/2007 10:36:13 PM

OneNighter86
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bitches aint nothing but tricks and hoes

1/31/2007 11:02:31 PM

StarGazer19
All American
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There are much bigger things to worry about, but it sucks that it appears he didn't make more of an effort to remember. Guys are often forgetful, and some are not very sentimental, but I don't think that gives the bf a free pass not to acknowledge your birthday! Just talk with him about it if it's bothering you, but try not to make assumptions.

1/31/2007 11:07:05 PM

arcgreek
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what a silly, immature bitch.

[Edited on January 31, 2007 at 11:21 PM. Reason : ]

1/31/2007 11:21:41 PM

BobbyDigital
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Quote :
"how the hell is forgetting your birthday in any way excusable?

if i forgot my g/f's birthday, then i'd want her to dump me and find someone else....because obviously i don't care for her anymore and I'd rather she be with someone who has the decency to at least remember her damn birthday.

or maybe your guys have only been dating a couple of weeks....or you guys are on a more of a "physical" than an "emotional" relationship, then i guess its okay."


That is some of the gayest shit i have ever read.

1/31/2007 11:55:13 PM

Str8BacardiL
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^

If you had reminded him on your birthday it would have made more sense. Talking about it all month is stupid. I am pretty sure you beat around the issue so it would be easy for him to forget. NTM you posted this at 3 in the afternoon and did not even give him a chance to forget good before you got pissed off.

1/31/2007 11:56:02 PM

Ogcack

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Usually no one close to me forgets my birthday because it's exactly a week before Christmas. I never forget my mom's because it's a week before mine.

My sister's is the only one I get hung up on. It's usually on Labor Day weekend so for some reason I always think it's that Monday.

2/1/2007 12:55:20 AM

Gumbified
All American
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ha my grandfather has the exact same b-day as me, freaky? Yeah I think so.

2/1/2007 1:03:31 AM

Skack
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I forgot my girlfriend's birthday last year. She said all I had to do was look at Myspace and I was like well all you had to do was remind me of it. I'll split the blame 70/30 or so. If you give someone enough rope they'll hang themselves eventually. The real question is whether you want to let them do it.

[Edited on February 1, 2007 at 1:06 AM. Reason : l]

2/1/2007 1:05:50 AM

BobbyDigital
Thots and Prayers
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some people just want an excuse to get angry so they can take out their problems on someone.

2/1/2007 9:25:05 AM

kiljadn
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Quote :
"NTM you posted this at 3 in the afternoon and did not even give him a chance to forget good before you got pissed off."




exactly


that bitch probably got a steak dinner last night


and now she feels fuckin dumb as hell

2/1/2007 10:45:35 AM

Jax883
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Let it go. Who cares if someone forgets the day you got vagina-ejected?

Its not like thats when your "life" started. Did you get upset for him not knowing/remembering the day you were conceived? Probably not. Odds are youre not aware of that date yourself.

Whenever you feel the urge to be hostile over this oversight, harken back to a time when he has done some random nice thing without you asking or thinking of it, and remember that in the scheme of things, this will not be a big deal/life scarring incident.

[Edited on February 1, 2007 at 11:10 AM. Reason : /]

2/1/2007 11:05:01 AM

Rat
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I think if you care about someone you'll have already found out and have something ready for their bday

My case: I remembered the bday and took her out and saw a movie... but I didn't have a fancy gift...

so I took all hell for it for a month.



SO WTF IS UP WITH THIS?

2/1/2007 11:16:08 AM

JCASHFAN
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Quote :
"If you had reminded him on your birthday it would have made more sense. Talking about it all month is stupid. I am pretty sure you beat around the issue so it would be easy for him to forget."
Good point, if a woman brings up and issue, over and over and over and over most of us will just shut down and ignore you and your birthday.

That being said, part of a relationship is knowing what means something to the other person and caring enough to show it. So yeah, if it is a big deal and he/she knows its a big deal, then you've got a problem. If you say "oh don't make a fuss over my birthday" then don't expect them to make a fuss over your birthday.

[Edited on February 1, 2007 at 11:23 AM. Reason : ]

2/1/2007 11:22:15 AM

tchenku
midshipman
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I agree with Duke and the other men

except therealramet WTF

DONT BE A PETTY BITCH

it's like My Super Sweet 16 in here

[Edited on February 1, 2007 at 1:45 PM. Reason : ]

2/1/2007 1:45:34 PM

El Borracho
All American
13971 Posts
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how long have you been dating. if it's more than a month, drop his ass.

2/1/2007 1:47:17 PM

arcgreek
All American
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DO WE GET A FOLLOW UP STORY ON HOW THE BF HAD SOME PLANS FOR THE EVENING?????

2/1/2007 1:49:41 PM

Sleik
All American
11177 Posts
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"The best way to remember something is to forget it once"


Give the guy a break. Let him know how it made you feel, let him apologize, and then change the subject. Three minutes, tops. Anything longer than that and you're overreacting.

2/1/2007 4:59:33 PM

Sleik
All American
11177 Posts
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dp

[Edited on February 1, 2007 at 5:05 PM. Reason : DUDE PARTY]

2/1/2007 5:04:55 PM

theDuke866
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Quote :
"you posted this at 3 in the afternoon and did not even give him a chance to forget good before you got pissed off"


what the hell, that doesn't even qualify as forgetting

Quote :
"Give the guy a break. Let him know how it made you feel, let him apologize, and then change the subject. Three minutes, tops. Anything longer than that and you're overreacting."


exactly.

tell him that to YOU, it's a big deal that he forgot it. Deal with the issue--you don't want to sweep it under the rug--but there's no reason to make it an issue for longer than it takes to simply make him fully aware that he hurt your feelings by forgetting it. After that, move on.

if he's all fucked up as a boyfriend, that's a different deal, but if he's generally good to go, just talk to him like the grown ass woman that you at least legally are, then put it completely in the past. don't even allow him to dwell on it, either. tell him "i'm glad you're concerned now that you know you hurt my feelings, but don't sweat it. no harm done in the long run, and now you know that it matters to me, so that's all that really matters."

2/1/2007 5:20:19 PM

Spike
All American
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sounds like you were being superficial and expecting something big anyway if you've been talking aobut it all month. He probably forgot about it because you were talking about it ALL the time. I know after a few times if a girl keeps talking i start to tune it out. Drop the hint once or twice to make sure but dont run it into the ground. Also if he was out of town he probably had other shit going on.

If you've been together a year and a half then your birthday has only happened ONE other time. That's not too many times to remember.

I'm glad I'm with somebody who doesn't EXPECT me to make a huge deal out of it. She's happy I go to some trouble for it, but she's not superficial and expect a fancy ass dinner and a big present. It's nice to know not all women are stuck on material things.

2/1/2007 11:25:15 PM

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