I was 5...when Ohio Players came out with the original.

25 when RHCP did.

7/12/2006 1:44:22 AM

thats cause youre an old fuck.






[Edited on July 12, 2006 at 2:04 AM. Reason : ]

7/12/2006 2:03:24 AM

1) 1st Grade: in response to Miss Hitchcad (sp?) being our substitute, attempted to burn the school down via electrical fire by inserting two brass fastener (remember those?) into an electric socket - got electrocuted

2) 3rd Grade: after the winter olympics, took up bobsledding (piling three people in a radio flyer and attempting to steer it all the way down this really steep hill in the neighborhood) and the luge (laying flat on your back on a skateboard on said hill). Both eventually involved the used of fireworks "obstacles" and near misses with cars

3) Some time in middle school: dousing tennis balls in gasoline and kicking them around the woods. Good to see I wasn't the only one (joe schmoe)

4) Some time in high school: would pull up on dark roads with a "Welcome to NC" license plate on the front of my dad's Ford and then alternate high-beams / with caution lights to give the impression of being an under cover cop . . . got chased a couple of times by angry drunks for that one.

5) Some time in high-school: took CO2 cartridges and filled them with black powder topped with a waterproof fuse, attached said cartridges to model rocket motors, and launched them. One blew up in the galvanized pipe we used as a ramp and took a chunk out of my friends leg.

6) Recently: told another guy these stories and he asked me, "why?" Why? I didn't have an answer, I realized that either you get it, or you don't.

And has anyone else noticed that kids don’t play outside any more?

[Edited on July 12, 2006 at 2:26 AM. Reason : and I still do stupid shit, I'm just not a kid anymore.]

7/12/2006 2:19:59 AM

Quote :

"And has anyone else noticed that kids don’t play outside any more?"

Oh fuck yeah. My ex-wife's son (my stepson) HARDLY EVER wanted to go outside and explore or anything. He spent most of his time parked in front of the TV playing video games. Or on the computer playing games.

When I was his age, I LIVED to explore outside or work on one of my many mechanical creations in the garage or build and fly model airplanes.

Of course, video games started to kick in when I was in elementary school, and lots of kids had Intellivision or Atari 2600s...but not me. I got my first computer in 1983...a Texas Instruments 99/4A. I would spend HOURS programming it.

But I still relied on problem solving skills and my ability to work with my hands and build stuff.

Today's world is a ready-made, risk-free, no-effort-required one.

7/12/2006 3:25:07 AM

. . . uphill two ways in the snow

7/12/2006 4:39:16 AM

My friends and I would always do the typical hockey and baseball games in the cul-d-sac. Then one summer we discovered paintball and ran through the woods dressed up and pretended we were fighting in vietnam.

Then one time my friend and I filled up the entire back of my dad's truck with water in an attempt to create a swimming pool.

[Edited on July 12, 2006 at 5:57 AM. Reason : meh]

7/12/2006 5:51:30 AM

^ done it, kills the springs on a half-ton or lower, but always a good time. wierds out yuppies when you drive through their neighborhood like that.

7/12/2006 6:05:14 AM

in middle school we made potato cannons with pvc pipe and a grill igniter switch. We were shooting potatos into the woods behind my house and watching them hit trees. we didn't realize some of them were making it through the woods and into some guy's garage who was outside and saw it. the police came a couple hours later.

also we would put slugs on top of M80's and they would explode everywhere. Everybody hated to be the one lighting it though b/c no matter how fast you run you couldn't outrun the slug guts hitting you in the back.

[Edited on July 12, 2006 at 8:41 AM. Reason : s]

7/12/2006 8:37:43 AM

Quote :

"you know, just reading these narratives, you can immediately sort out the girls from the boys. girls are all about social events, make believe, drama, etc."

the three people from my street i had a club with and played with on the regular were boys.
we also enjoyed shooting squirrels and birds with bbguns...go cart riding...bike races...building ramps for our bikes..and climbing trees.

but this is about dumb shit we did as a kid...i thought those ^ were pretty normal...where as a game called "Lava Lava Land" was flipping RETARDED. i must say though a lot of our ideas for that game came from The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe and King's Quest computer games

[Edited on July 12, 2006 at 8:59 AM. Reason : ]

[Edited on July 12, 2006 at 9:01 AM. Reason : ]

7/12/2006 8:57:40 AM

When I was about 8, I used to have sex with college girls.

Looking back, boy was I silly.

7/12/2006 9:06:27 AM

Quote :

"2) 3rd Grade: after the winter olympics, took up bobsledding (piling three people in a radio flyer and attempting to steer it all the way down this really steep hill in the neighborhood) and the luge (laying flat on your back on a skateboard on said hill). Both eventually involved the used of fireworks "obstacles" and near misses with cars"

I did the luge thing a lot, but my friends and I also used shopping carts, rolling chairs, trash cans, etc.

My friends did most of the crazy shit and I got to watch.

7/12/2006 9:13:36 AM

My brother and two sisters would play on train tracks, sometimes when trains were coming. God that was so dumb, looking back at it. But it was fun at the time.

There was this really steep hill near our house that was really grassy. We'd take cardboard boxes and slide down it, racing one another.

If there was any collection of water around our neighborhood, we found it and swam in it, no matter how disgusting it might be. Filthy creeks, construction crevaces with stagnant water; hey, when it's hot and you're poor, swimming pools are everywhere. You just gotta look for 'em.

When we all piled in a car to go somewhere, my mom would leave us in the car while she ran inside to go do whatever she needed to do (my third oldest sister was there to watch us). We would take the metal part of the seatbelt and reflect the sunlight off it. We named the reflected light "Donnie".

I miss my siblings.

7/12/2006 9:24:52 AM

Threw rocks at big hornets nests










I wasnt allergic to bees

7/12/2006 9:32:14 AM

Am I the only one that would set "traps" out in the woods for anyone who was unfortunate enough to be walking through? Most of the holes I dug were only like 1-2 feet deep but I did a pretty good job of covering them up with leaves/sticks to hide them. If it rained heavily, they would fill up with muddy water, heh. Sometimes I would put trip line in front of them too so that someone would trip and fall in. I don't think I ever got anyone though, mostly because I was the only one running around in those woods.


V Hell no, I knew exactly where every single one was.

[Edited on July 12, 2006 at 10:00 AM. Reason : ]

7/12/2006 9:35:26 AM

dont lie, you fell into half of those holes didnt you.

7/12/2006 9:43:05 AM

I helped a dude set off some firecrackers inside his house.

We played paintball in some nearby woods. There was an abadoned property nearby just piled up with junk, old cars, and trailers. We bashed out car windows and then took hoods, doors, tires, camper shells and made forts and obstacles in the woods to spice upthe paintball matches. Was cool until the owner found out and we spent a whole day cleaning that shit up.

Also, in the abandoned yard there was a large greenhouse of sorts that had a rolling metal bar, I'm guessing for sprinklers, that rolled from end to end. It was about 3 feet off the ground and we would roll that fucker from one end to the other with people lying on top. It got going really fast and it would slam in the end of the greenhouse. All fun and games until one side of the bar fell and I dropped 2 feet onto metal. Well, it was still fun while I rolled around the ground and everyone laughed for nearly 20 minutes. We also played speedball in there.

Got pulled behind a golf cart riding on skateboards. Watched two guys get their shit ruined getting pulled by cars.

Got pulled behind fourwheelers on a sled.

Made all sorts of downhill ramps with snow. The dumbest was one that was built onto the back of pickup truck. you would stand on the roof and try to ride all the way down on a skateboard deck.

There are these two sheds in my backyard that I would jump from roof to roof on. Climbed on top of my house a lot.

We use to get several kids to sit on one side of a rectangular trampoline and then one person would run to the top. One time I got trapped underneath the trampoline after it had fallen ontop of me.

Helped encourage one of my friends to go into what we liked to call "beast mode" in his jeep. One occasion we spent 6 hours walking around in the fucking mud because of it.

The big thing in my neighborhood for a while was wrestling on a trampoline(no homo). Once, my head landed repeatedly on the metal bar. All in all, it was pretty stupid.

Did countless dumb things on a skateboard.

7/12/2006 11:21:39 AM

^"Did countless dumb things on a skateboard."

My cousin tied his skateboard to the back of my bike and we decided to go downhill.

I only had a few scratches but he ended up with road rash on half his body, and we spent the next few hours picking gravel out before we went home and got in trouble with our parents.


Someone threw out an old matress with rusty springs poking out and my friends and i drug it to the woods behind the apartment complex so we could jump on it.

7/12/2006 11:55:08 AM

walked a large dog by strapping the leash to my bike handle bars.

didnt stay upright for long.


jumped off a friend's house onto a trampoline filled with other kids already jumping...

know how sometimes you hit just right and dont bounce at all, just kinda get stopped dead? that happened, came down hard and slammed my chin on my knee. bit through my lip requiring ~35 stitches inside and out, and a few months of dental care (severed the roots across my top 4 middle teeth and bottom 6 middle teeth).

7/12/2006 1:58:57 PM

Quote :

"walked a large dog by strapping the leash to my bike handle bars. didnt stay upright for long."

yea, done that on a board, except it worked well

7/12/2006 2:03:35 PM

its not so bad on a skateboard because your arms can swivel, but when the dog tries to dart off in one direction, turning your wheel 90 degrees, game over man, game over.

[Edited on July 12, 2006 at 2:10 PM. Reason : e]

7/12/2006 2:10:02 PM

played chicken on a busy highway

Quote :

"Flying around corners on my friend's go-kart...sliding sideways, the back tire caught and me and the go-kart flipped over HARD. I remember opening my eyes, staring at the engine right in my face, still idling"

invented this game that was nearly like field hockey, but with a bigger ball...sticks were just odd piece of lumber dad had lying around...was fun til one good lost two front teeth and got stitches in his lip

7/12/2006 2:18:35 PM

Join TWW.

7/12/2006 2:20:21 PM

My cousin used to come visit maybe twice a year. Every time she came over, we would write skits. We'd make masks out of paper and then make our parents watch them before they left. We were really into animals, so I'm pretty sure they were all about not killing animals and stuff. I think sometimes we even made them pay us "admission."

Once, when I was maybe 7 or 8, I was in the shower and I saw my brother's razor (do many guys shave in the shower??) and I decided I wanted to use it. So of course I decided to shave off a patch of hair in the middle of my forehead. It was only one swipe, so it wasn't that bad, but it was definitely noticeable. My parents still make fun of me for that.

I was at lunch one day and one of those people with the really bendy fingers asked if she could see how far mine would bend back. She grabbed my thumb and pulled it back, and I heard a pop. When I couldn't move my hand 3 days later, I went to the doctor and found out she'd dislocated it.

7/12/2006 2:21:13 PM

drinking glue

7/12/2006 2:57:33 PM

i shave in the shower - definitely saves time

7/12/2006 3:02:46 PM

Quote :

"If there was any collection of water around our neighborhood, we found it and swam in it, no matter how disgusting it might be. Filthy creeks, construction crevaces with stagnant water; hey, when it's hot and you're poor, swimming pools are everywhere. You just gotta look for 'em. "

yup

7/12/2006 3:15:30 PM

I think I'm the only kid who didn't do anything crazy. I never stuck shit in electrical sockets. I never climbed to high places and fell off. I never swam anywhere. The only thing physical I did was ride my bike and walk around aimlessly. Most of the time I spent as a kid was alone, reading. I used to love reading about plants (especially the poisonous kind), and I even tried keeping a garden a couple of times. Unfortunately, the first couple failed and the others were either destroyed by my brother or my dad allowed the guy who cut the lawn to mow them down (never got to see my sunflowers sprout). This, coupled with the fact that my father always yelled at me about not being like other boys and liking sports, pretty much killed my interest in plants (I used to want to be a botanist when I was a kid).

7/12/2006 10:09:55 PM

mess around in house construction around my neighborhood, try to get lost on bikes, make ramps and 'jump' off of them with bikes off of a steepass driveway... fucked my arm up nicely doing that. tree climbing, climbing out my window on the second floor and stealthily scaling down and later back up the outside of the house using window frames. tore apart countless partially functional electronics to see what was inside and fiddle with it. make 'pottery' out of the clay mud in the backyard.

probably some other stuff....

7/12/2006 10:19:21 PM

signed up for this site

7/12/2006 11:09:31 PM

I had a walk-man, and I had an electric train set. I thought it would be really cool if you could plug the walk-man into the wall so you wouldn't use the batteries. So I took the AC jack from the electric train set, and I saw that the plug fit into the socket labeled AC on the walkman.

Well, while holding the walk-man in my hand, I pluged it into the wall...... Bad Idea.... The walk-man just about blew up, the tape deck shot open and fire came flying out of it. I dropped it and the carpet caught on fire and I burned my hand.

7/13/2006 10:30:17 AM

Quote :

"I think I'm the only kid who didn't do anything crazy. I never stuck shit in electrical sockets. I never climbed to high places and fell off. I never swam anywhere. The only thing physical I did was ride my bike and walk around aimlessly. Most of the time I spent as a kid was alone, reading. I used to love reading about plants (especially the poisonous kind), and I even tried keeping a garden a couple of times. Unfortunately, the first couple failed and the others were either destroyed by my brother or my dad allowed the guy who cut the lawn to mow them down (never got to see my sunflowers sprout). This, coupled with the fact that my father always yelled at me about not being like other boys and liking sports, pretty much killed my interest in plants (I used to want to be a botanist when I was a kid)."

that is depressing. sounds like a crappy childhood

7/13/2006 11:27:33 AM

-My cousins and I started a fire in the middle of the road one night. We found a dead frog and cooked him. We saw a car coming and everyone just runs away leaving the fire burning... I was the only that had sense to run back and and stop the fire.

-Me and my boys would ride around random busy places (Mall, Super Wal-Mart, Fast food rests.) and just light people up with water balloons and water guns. We would be two cars deep. We once saw some random kid on a bike and lit him up. He fell so we stopped the car got out and just pummeled him with water balloons...Shit was funny.

7/13/2006 11:40:26 AM

Quote :

"The walk-man just about blew up, the tape deck shot open and fire came flying out of it. I dropped it and the carpet caught on fire and I burned my hand. "

hahahahha

---------------

-I decided one day to jump the stormdrain in our front yard instead of just the usual riding through the ditch. I flew over my handlebars when the front tire found a hole upon landing. That knocked the wind the hell out of me

-I took those little capgun caps and trapped little ants underneath them. After that, I took a magnifying glass and ignited the caps.

-The usual burn-various-insects-with-magnifying-glass thing

-Took WD40 and then carb cleaner to a flying beetle with huge fern-like antennae and proceeded to light it on fire before my mom came outside to yell at me. I just stomped it dead then.

-Almost rolled my sister's '84 accord into the woods when everyone was too busy to move her car so I could play some basketball. I panicked, forgot about the foot brake, tried to use the not-so-functional handbrake, jumped out of the car, bent the door backwards as the car reversed past the b-ball pole, and watched as the car went down our steep hill where it miraculously turned itself on the way down, thus saving it from the 5foot drop-off into the woods.

-Slammed the hell out of my NES with a 2x4 when it finally quit playing games

-Tried to make salamanders and crayfish fight

-Friend's Aliens action-figures versus various other action figures. The girl action-figures were always sex slaves or something, ha! (what's up with that)

-Set up a big styrofoam Pilsbury Doughboy BB gun target fitted with blood squids (friend's sister's old, discarded nail polish jars). I don't think the blood thing ever worked

7/13/2006 3:23:46 PM

We had just moved into a new house, and for some reason there was a summable stack of cinderblocks in our backyard. I think they had just finished renovating a building right next door to the house we moved into. Anyhow, there was this rusty, heavy cylindrical object about the length of my arm and just as thick in the backyard. I'm sure you guys can tell where this story is going. So, me and my destructive nature decided to drop this metal thing onto one of the cinderblocks, and to my amazement, it crubbled like a clod of dirt. Of course, I had to do it again, and again, and again; even getting crazy and dropping one block on top of another, until half the blocks were destroyed. Our next door neighbor's kid (same age as me) decided to come over and help destroy the blocks.

To my surprise, my mom was going to give those blocks to some guy, who would in turn build her a clothesline (poor families don't have dryers). Not only did I get a SEVERE ass beating, but I had to take each and every pebble down to the dumpster located about a block away in the hot June sun. It was still fun to give in to destruction and go insane on those blocks.

7/13/2006 6:16:28 PM

I was at my cousins' house, and we were playing tag in the yard. My 12-year old cousin hopped this wooden fence to run away (it was the cleanest jump ever, he made it look easy), and I figured that my 4-year old ass could do the same thing I still have the scar on my right arm. It grew as I grew.

When I was 7 or so, I busted the strap on one of my aunt's shoes, and never got in trouble for it

That same summer, I was at the same aunt's house and she was cleaning her sink with this bleach/ammonia/something else solution. For some reason I stuck my finger into it, shit burned like hell for hours

When I was 9, I had a dartboard that I hung right above the first step of our stairwell. One day my cousin was playing with the darts (hard rubber tip) and I was playing on the stairs with a Slinky. I don't think I need to explain this one any further. Luckily it didn't require stitches...

7/13/2006 10:15:56 PM

^

Quote :

"bleach/ammonia/something else solution"

used to climb young trees and when id get to the top id lean and it would take me right to the ground. well i decided to try a bigger tree, about 20ft high. the thing broke in half and landed right on top of me.

7/13/2006 10:39:27 PM

Many children in my neighborhood ate Hershey's Kisses that were made out of mud.

I was good at tricking them. I would even include mud ones wrapped in foil among real ones. Always took about a minute for them to realize it.

7/13/2006 10:47:08 PM

Climbed up a tree, found a pair of bike handlebars (don't ask me what they were doing 20ft off the ground in a tree), and dropped them with the phrase: "Watch out below!" They hit one of my brothers and I was grounded for a week.

7/13/2006 10:48:52 PM

one time in middle school my best friend and i met this guy on the phone (how the fuck do you MEET someone on the phone??) i think one of our friends introduced us on 3-way. anyway my friend was 'dating' him and one day we decided we wanted to meet him so we roller bladed to his address (not sure how we knew where he lived, i think we wrote some letters so we had an address and asked around along the way)

we get there and he's not home so we wait by his door & take pictures of the apartment. he finally came home and we hung out for awhile before going home. the kicker was that we literally roller bladed about 10-15miles each way to get to this kid, we must have been REALLY bored

another time, me and the same friend had another friend in the neighborhood and he bike got stolen. she put up a buch of fliers in the neighborhood and my friend convinced me that we should go tear them all down (we always made fun of her bc her parents were like nudists & she had crossed eyes or something)

anyway we tore all the signs down & later my mom found out i did it & grounded me from my best friend for TWO MONTHS!!! damn that sucked so much. but i learned my lesson

7/13/2006 11:25:30 PM

pencilfights on the bus

7/14/2006 10:55:19 AM

put a black widow, a hornet and an ant in a jar. shook it around and watched them brawl.


the black widow won, the ant never stood a chance

7/14/2006 1:12:19 PM

opened up the casing on my atari 2600 to "improve the graphics"

messed up the board somehow and it never worked again.

im still pissed about that one.

7/14/2006 1:57:01 PM

My freind and I once burned my sister's barbie convertable. For some reason we decided to do it in the woods. Nearly started a major fire... Oops.

7/14/2006 7:06:57 PM

my friend and i performed "duets", played "Suicide BArbies" which invovled throwing the dolls high into the air and letting them crash to the ground and seeing how damaged and broken they would get; built forts, filled them with our most prized possessions, then tried to steal stuff from each other without the other one noticing.

7/17/2006 9:22:57 PM

I used to eat Raw Butter up until I was 5.

In middle school, I nearly killed my mother with a Snowmobile.

7/17/2006 11:01:35 PM

Quote :

"I used to eat Raw Butter up until I was 5."

I used to take butter sandwiches to kindergarten. I don't even think it was butter, I think it was like, margarine on two slices of white bread. My mom would be like oh, here, how about ham and cheese, or peanut butter and jelly. Nope, butter sandwiches. I want to say I also used to eat mayonnaise and pickle sandwiches. Pretty Gross.

7/18/2006 12:46:33 AM

my brothers and i used to ride straight up the side of a tree on our bikes. imagine a half pipe that always ended in disaster. jesus that was fun/hurt.

7/18/2006 1:55:58 AM

17 yrs old- set off a drano bomb in my highschool parking lot

21 yrs old- driveby shooting of multiple pedestrians, bums, and cats with an airsoft gun in downtown L.A/Hollywood

7/18/2006 3:17:05 AM

My friend broke in somewhere, I watched.

7/18/2006 4:03:57 AM

My mom would make batches of homemade noodles for people she worked with and family members. I used to sneak into the kitchen to eat the raw noodles while they were drying. I was 4.

7/18/2006 6:54:16 AM