Quote :

"Actually Moron the divorce rate is now declining. I think its only like 40%. Sure thats not a lot of change statistically, but it does show that peoples perception of marriage are changing. Either they are not getting married as often because they know the high divorce rate, or they are just sticking it out more than before."

i'd say a big reason for that decline (if it is declining) is that people are waiting later in life before getting married. 18-20 yr olds are typically too immature to decide on a subject as serious as marriage and end up getting divorced within a few years.

11/30/2005 12:35:24 PM

Once people get late 20s and all their friends get married they start to freak out.

The way a see it - fuck em. I'm in no hurried to get hitched. If I even get married at all it won't be until I'm 30 or so.

11/30/2005 12:43:15 PM

^I can see the benefits to it, but I like being a younger dad. Means that I'll still be closer to my kids age when they get older. I'd hate to be like the fucking dad that is at HS graduation whose in a wheelchair and on oxygen because I'm damn in my 70's, since I waited till I was over 30 to get married and then waited another 10 years to have kids and then spent $money on shit on fertility drugs.

As it is now, I'll be under 40 when my son graduates HS. I'll still be young enough to play some sports with him, work on cars with him, shit like that. I dated a girl whose dad was older than my damn grandparents. They had a loving relationship, but it was nothing likethe relationship I had with my father who could actually like go outside and was physically able to do things I was.

11/30/2005 1:09:15 PM

last night at the gym i heard this song, "i hate my baby momma"

hillarious

11/30/2005 2:32:01 PM

Kids aren't a reason to get married. Well, not a good reason.

11/30/2005 2:51:23 PM

I'm married. Just got married a little over 3 months ago. I met my wife last January, so we haven't even known each other for a full year yet.

My answer to your question:
You really don't know. A lot of people say, "I just knew". But, it's not because "I just knew". It's more like, "I will always know". Think of it as a state of mind... for the rest of your life.

Why marriages fail? Because people stop trying to "know".

11/30/2005 3:58:36 PM

Quote :

""Gee, no one else would put up with my crazy shit.""

that is probably a pretty good indicator

11/30/2005 4:18:27 PM

good thread

11/30/2005 5:52:39 PM

in response to the original post- the moment i first talked to him, i knew something was there. something unbelieveably familiar, and comfortable. and it's never gone away.

i'm not married yet, only engaged. but i figured i could throw in my sappy soulmate experience.

11/30/2005 7:59:48 PM

thing is my intuition is exetremely accurate
when i saw my currents pic i knew that if we got together something deep would happen
when i met him, and it wasnt arranged i jsut happened to meet him, i felt something
i went home that night thinking about him and all the weird "coincedences" or... just feelings i was going through

so i made the move, and its hard for me to really open up to people, but i did it so quickly
one thing i always told him was how comfortable i feel around him, right form the beginning
i can see a future with him, granted i havent had many serious relationships but in my last one i knew that it would end and i was cool with it
if i knew this one was going to end i would be mortified

we get along so well too, of course its not perfect, we have our issues, but when its good its so incredibly good
do i know if hes the one? or if we're destined to be together? no i dont, i dont just "know" but i do know that right now im having a blast and thats all i need to focus on

11/30/2005 8:18:47 PM

Quote :

"unbelieveably familiar, and comfortable. and it's never gone away."

well written, I totally agree

12/1/2005 12:28:20 AM

Quote :

"Age : 20 "

you aren't old enough...wait longer.

12/1/2005 1:47:10 AM

^I'm 22 actually

12/1/2005 8:38:15 AM

why marriages fail.... selfish bullshit, games, manipulation, ect.

Been married for 4 weeks now.... We never lived together before, so even with a honeymoon period and all, there are adjustments you have to be willing to make.

If you are too stuck on yourself to be willing to be a partner with someone in all things, then you dont deserve to ever feel the highs that come with being married to someone with the intentions to never leave their side.

Thinking of yourself as complete individuals and always looking out for your own ass will bite you in the ass when it comes to marriage. You are setting yourself up for failure if you try to do this.

That was directed at a few posts on here.....

That said, marriage is awesome and Ive known my wife since highschool when we dated... then off and on over the years... we are both 24 now, and It feels like it was perfect timing for both of us. I finish school in the coming months and she is working until we start having kids.... Which will probably be soon because I too dont want to be an old fart of a dad.

12/1/2005 9:54:33 AM

Quote :

"Kids aren't a reason to get married. Well, not a good reason."

12/1/2005 10:43:36 AM

Just because you're married doesn't mean you go blind.

12/1/2005 10:43:37 AM

I love fairy tales, but I don't exactly believe in fate.

The reality is that love is work. It's not magic. I've been dating the same lady for over 4 years now, and we'll get married this coming August, and we're both excited as can be. But the truth is we just crushed on each other as teenagers, said we'd date, and we found that we were compatible enough to like the same things, different enough to keep each other guessing and keep things from getting boring, and dedicated to one another enough to keep the love growing even through rough times.

I could've probably found others in the world who would've been willing to do these same things, however, I was so extremely satisfied that I can safely say I will enjoy spending my life with her. We've been through all kinds of crap over 4+ years, yet we always grow closer together. I say it takes about 1.5-2 years to really "know". The reason is that you won't "really argue" or take up for yourself until about that time (maybe less for some folks), but once you two REALLY knock heads about an issue, pay attention to how well you cope/compromise. Once you realize you can love someone, regardless of issues, you're well on your way

EDIT: #1 reason I can see for splitting up? Selfishness. Marriage REQUIRES and DEMANDS selflessness out of both people on a daily basis to keep things going strong. As soon as marriage becomes swayed from a "50/50" situation, shit gets ugly, and quickly.

[Edited on December 1, 2005 at 12:35 PM. Reason : .]

12/1/2005 12:34:13 PM

for a relationship to really honestly work people need compatibility, honesty, attraction physically, respect, communication

i agree that i want someone who agrees with me but not all the time, i also want someone who isnt apushover, someone who is stubborn and will tell me when theyre hurt instead of just accepting it, so we can fix things and improve the situation, someone who is willing to sacrifice things to reach a compromise, someone who isnt willing to give up and run at the first sight of friction. i dont believe in a perfect relationship anymore, i used to, i was always searching for the one person who id never argue with, never have any fights with, but im learning thats a misconception. the only way two people are never going to fight is if they grew up under the same ideals, thought the same exact things and shared the exact opinions. unrealistic and idealistic, also boring. i want someone who won't put up with my bullshit, but also like my quirky personlity. when you love someone you accept them for everything they are including their faults, if you truly love them you will see them through every difficult time. also another point id like to make is that everyone says you dont date someone to change them, well when you find someone you love you WANT to change to be a better person for them.

"the one" is hard to find and you may never find them, why pass up the opportunity to be with someone who doesnt fit that childhood dream of your soulmate when you could be incredibly happy and fulfilled with this one person.

12/1/2005 1:25:59 PM

because when you do find your soulmate it is worth the hunt.

ive dumped many great women along the way to my "one"

it is a fairy tale

and yes, i knew the second i met her.

we talk about how lucky we are and how bad we feel that 99% of people "settle"

12/1/2005 1:51:10 PM

yeah but if my chances of finding this guy is when im tooold i dont wanna live a lonely life waiting for mr right when mr right now is here
haha
besides things are lookin good for this current one
but even though all that stuff has happened to us i still dont think hes the one
but hes damn near close and something id gladly and happily settle for

12/1/2005 6:51:20 PM

Don't marry the one you would just settle for. Mr. Right Now is not necessarily Mr. Right Later.

12/1/2005 8:00:50 PM

i know
i guess settle is the wrong word
what i mean is im happy with him and would be for the rest of my life
but im thinkin hes not "the one" but really close

settling isnt fair to both parties

12/1/2005 9:44:55 PM

That soulmate thing is a total crock of shit.

There's more than just that one. Don't be so rigid and fixed in your thinking that you think you MUST find THE ONE. And that one only. You're going to be disappointed an awful lot.

That said, don't settle for less than a good match. And if you can manage to not settle for anything but a great match, then kudos to you. But not settling for anything but the perfect match is waiting for an opposite-sex reincarnation of yourself. That's pretty lame.

Now, all of that said, I'm still going to be pretty damn picky when it comes to the next big relationship. My marriage turned out to not be a great match. It was okay, but too many insurmountable differences.

12/1/2005 9:57:53 PM

i think i found a winner
no doubt about that
he makes me incredibly happy
and we can talk about anything
we can also goof off and actually be ourselves around eachother

just dont have that solid feeling that hes the one
hell he might be but right now i dont know, or think so
but im lovin what we've got right now

12/1/2005 11:17:36 PM

Then love it right now!

You're too young to be thinking about stuff that seriously right now anyway.

12/1/2005 11:26:03 PM

i know
but im... well without sounding conceeded, fuck it
im living for right now
if it works out cool
if it doesnt, too bad

12/1/2005 11:39:54 PM

Quote :

"but im thinkin hes not "the one" but really close settling isnt fair to both parties "

You keep posting things like that in public and we may not have to see your sickening threads in chit chat anymore.

12/2/2005 8:26:56 AM

this chick has had all of one boyfriend, her current, yet acts like she knows what shes talking about

12/2/2005 12:24:07 PM

ive had more than one thanks
and i dont know what im talking about
which is why each post basically states something different
i think i have some small idea
but it may change an hour from now, a week from now, or whatever

i, myself, am curious on how one knows that their SO is "the one", because so far i have all the "evidence" minus the "just knowing" part

12/2/2005 12:35:05 PM

and thats why you should shut the fuck up

12/2/2005 12:39:50 PM