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11/27/2005 4:19:42 PM

when I was 16 I tried replacing the fuel filter on my '69 bel air armed only with one adjustable wrench causing the whole fuel line to twist. I gave up and drove into town but smelled gas,
so I pulled into a gas station to fill up and asked the attendant to check under the hood.
I had spilt the line and there was a big puddle of hot, spitting gas welled up in the intake
manifold. Dude just about shit his pants and ran away from the car.

11/28/2005 8:42:07 AM

^hahahahhaha

Quote :

"i decided i wanted to make my integra faster by taking off my power steering and AC belts and i gutted out my cat"

Driving.. I was 15 and wanted to play some basketball but my sister's '84 accord was blocking the goal. With zero driving experience, I decided to ease the car away from the goal and re-park it (since everyone was busy doing something else). Turned it on, put it in reverse, and mashed the gas (I didn't know a car would pull itself slowly by just letting off the brake). The car went backwards, hyperextending the driver door which I kept open for safety reasons (ha!). For some reason I didn't think to step on the brake, yanked the non-working e-brake, and panick'ed and jumped out of the car before it rolled downhill. So downhill it went and would have fallen into the woods if the front wheels didn't randomly turn while the car went down ass-first. Interesting first time experience.

Wrenching.. Stripped about 6 out of 10 valve cover bolts. Most have been replaced with some Lowe's screws. 2 long ones on top of valve cover have yet to be replaced.

[Edited on November 28, 2005 at 12:48 PM. Reason : ]

11/28/2005 12:40:53 PM

I think ^ takes the cake the driving part anyways.

Valvecovers aren't torqued very tight. At least none I've ever seen. A screwdriver or nutdriver is all you'd ever really need.

[Edited on November 28, 2005 at 1:48 PM. Reason : valve]

11/28/2005 1:44:57 PM

my friend installed a brake pad backwards on his dads car yesterday. he backed out and it said SCREETCHGRINDCRRR bwahh

11/28/2005 1:48:53 PM

^ i know someone else who did that... he's on here somewhere...

[Edited on November 28, 2005 at 2:18 PM. Reason : except he got all the way home (20-30 minutes) before he figured out what was wrong]

11/28/2005 2:17:51 PM

hah. yeh i knew somethign was wrong before i rolled back 2 feet. i was doing the rear drums (i forgot how stupid those things are) while he did the front discs. he's done it right a hundred times, just got rushed i guess. no damage to the rotor or anything.

11/28/2005 2:20:51 PM

riding my bicycle and running into a parked car.

11/28/2005 7:16:16 PM

I bought a honda once

11/28/2005 7:17:14 PM

Not really me, but whoever (my dad or my uncle or possibly one of my uncles employees) put the gas tank in my Chevelle in high school didn't bolt the straps down. It probably stayed like that for a couple weeks. Well one day I decided to fill the tank up completely, I'm 3 miles after the gas station and about a mile from school, I take a left turn from a stop and hear this scraping sound. Recently I had busted a control arm hopping the front end with the clutch and it sounded the same and I thought maybe it was the other side that went out when I went around the turn. The car didn't feel saggy, I glance in the rear view mirror and see shit in the middle of the road. As I get out I am simultaneously thinking I ran over something and cut a tire down but was confused because I didn't see anything in the road. I take 3-4 steps towards the road and immediately recognize the metal peices as the gas tank straps. Look back at the back of the car and see the gas tank sitting on the ground behind it. The only thing that kept it "with" the car was the rubber hose, the hose clamps at each end, and I suppose the inertia of the tank.

11/28/2005 7:25:03 PM

Quote :

"big puddle of hot, spitting gas welled up in the intake manifold. Dude just about shit his pants and ran away from the car."

Any minute now some nerdy know it all is gonna say that liquid gasoline isnt very volatile, its the vapor that is.

I had something very similar happen to me on my way to my very first job interview ever- my incident involved one of those glass fuel filters though.

Another time I was riding down 85 and some jerkoff in a mazda b-series pickup kept flashing his lights and waving and pointing at me, and after a couple minutes I flipped him the big mean middle finger and a real dirty look, I didnt think twice about it until later that week when someone pointed out I had a rubber hose hanging out from underneath my car. It was nothing serious, axle vent tube or something else, cant remember but I thought the guy was just being an ass cause I wouldnt let him in my lane or something. Whoops.



Back about a year after I officially got my Inspection license the DMV decided it was time to run their undercover guy through our neighborhood, and lucky me I caught the ticket when the friendly black man came by our shop. Plain jane late model Nissan Sentra sedan, clean as a pin inside, radio playing the gospel station, everything seemed normal- check the registration, see the guy is from out of town. "Probably in town on business, and wants his inspection quick" I figured, hell it was about lunchtime and he probably had places to be and business to handle before his long journey home to GUILFORD COUNTY (hint hint) right? SOOOO I do my patented super fast inspection, get the car out the door and the guy back on the road in record time. I go to lunch and when I get back my boss tell me "you fucked up". And thats when optmusprimer got his first illegal inspection ticket boys and girls. Turns out I missed the bright orange golf tee stuck in the evap cannister line.

It gets better though, fast forward a couple years and one slow day this sorta familiar black guy comes in and says he needs an inspection, and he looks at me and smiles. Now normally I would be freaked out by that but we did a lot of work for nice black folk back there, and honestly I didnt have all their faces memorized. I figured this was a regular customer, WRONG- same undercover guy that got me the first time, only I didnt realize it until I pull his super clean 626 inside (RED FLAG #1) and check the Guilford County registration (RED FLAG #2). "Hold the fuck up" I said, and put that sneaky bastards decoy car up on the lift, and sure enough NO FUCKING CAT! Damn straight pipe in its place. AH HA I GOT YOU! Im saying to myself, and my boss comes over cause he knows something is up. I tell him my discovery, and that I am about to fail the guy, and he edges me away from the machine, says he will handle it. Well thats not cool, we have a known DMV undercover sitting 20 feet from us in the lobby with a clear view of us, and here we are fighting over the inspection machine, cause my license number is already input into the the thing, cause I am already doing the inspection- but my bossman is punching in all the particulars. Well if you have ever looked at your inspection reciept youll see a list of emmissions equipment, along with a "P" if it passed, a "N" for if it didnt come on the car, and "F" for fail. In the confusion this dumbass enters "N" beside the "catalytic converter" box, and the computer determines thats cool, and issues it a sticker. BIG NO NO, cause now we have a undercover vehicle, with NO CAT, that has just been passed and has a sticker issued to it. Bossman gets even more flustered and decides we have to put the sticker on the car, then REINSPECT the vehicle, and fail it- I have no choice but to agree at this point. All is apparanly made well, no calls from our local DMV guy saying I got busted or anything, so we go on about our business. The very next week, my boss happens to be on vacation, and a guy comes rushing in saying he needs an inspection in a hurry, so naturally I hop to it, thinking the coast is clear for another couple years. WRONG, apparantly the DMV got suspicious and decided to retest me, cause thats when optmusprimer got his second illegal inspection ticket boys and girls. This time is was a dirty, dirty surburban, definitely a civilian vehicle, another unplugged evap something or other, Orange county registration, and a totally different guy. Oh well. If those are the two illegal inspections that got me popped, I am pretty damn lucky cause I cant count how many shitboxes I put stickers on that would never have passed if I didnt pull my own car in and use it for the test. Those days are over though, at least they will be in a month or so.

11/28/2005 8:24:16 PM

what exactly happens with getting an illegal inspection ticket?

11/28/2005 9:00:32 PM

You pay the $90 or whatever fine, or in my case, you make your boss pay it. It comes on a pink slip just like a traffic ticket. Or at least they did a few years back.

Bigger infractions, like selling stickers to random people and shit like that, is a station offense and carries fines up to (or starting at, cant remember) $10,000.

11/28/2005 9:16:11 PM

just the other day:

Car died sitting at a traffic light and I figure it's the usual coil wire getting loose from aftermarket coil (tower male, wire female). After fixing it, I decided to secure the wire once and for all onto the coil. Planned to bolt wire onto coil using a ring connector.

Took needle nose pliers to the metal part of coil tower and started turning. It wouldnt turn so I got my locking vice on it. Whaddya know, I manage to torque the damn thing off of the tower. Pretty fubared, hence I'm looking for a new aftermarket universal coil in the Garage Classifieds thread Apparently I had mixed it up with some other ignition part I've had before that had a tower that could be disassembled >.<

I'll look into DIY fix

12/7/2005 5:53:08 PM

Way too "tired" at URE, saw a Suzuki Samuri and I guess got confused about samis, sidekicks, rockys, etc and said, "Is that a Sami or a Zuk?" My buddy said, "Dan, think about what the fuck you just said, you dumbass!" "Ah damnit!"

12/7/2005 6:31:33 PM

ur dad is pretty rough ^

12/7/2005 6:48:55 PM

^huh?

12/7/2005 7:02:59 PM

there's a lot of funny and stupid shit you guys do. hahaha.

12/8/2005 9:07:25 AM

engine swap in a sentra.

then the radiator sprung a nice leak and toasted the swapped engine.

>.<

12/8/2005 9:10:48 AM