16

Quote :

"should have deleted them! unless they are your family. it's hard to do that without stirring up some drama. most of the people i want to delete are family "

It's my family. My sister-in-law posts some retarded shit. I just keep telling myself she's only 19.


[Edited on February 4, 2012 at 3:38 PM. Reason : ,]

2/4/2012 3:38:11 PM

true. surely she'll learn how to read and write by the time she turns 20!

2/4/2012 3:45:25 PM

Quote :

"Great game..but I am very excited to watch The Voice!"

2/5/2012 11:13:10 PM

Quote :

"The doctor finally called and said "Ms. ***** if you really want to get your tubes tied we can go ahead and set you up"... Yes sir!!!!! WHERE THE PAPERS AT!!!! To those of you my age still having babies, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!!!! God gave me 2 blessing and I'm no longer a FOOL!!!! I LOVE MY FREEDOM!!!!!!"

2/10/2012 10:42:16 AM

Quote :

"What part of " the vagina is NOT SUPPOSE TO HAVE A SMELL" don't women understand.... The bathroom at work be rocking!!!! I have to bring a mini cleaning kit with me everyday just so I can pee!!! Lol WTH man!!!! #AndSomeManIsSleepingWithThatFunk"

Edit - follow-up:

Quote :

"WTH man.... Women gotta get it together... The vagina is not suppose to have a smell or discharge.... A secretion yes and its a shame how grown women don't know the difference....if I can smell you, then you can smell yourself"

2/13/2012 12:36:24 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNCklX2wZy4&feature=related

with the title "Barack Obama Mocks Jesus Christ"

and these comments:

Quote :

"It makes sense that he'd mock the bible considering he was raised by the koran"

Quote :

"In addition to using scripture out of context- (turn the other cheek- in relation to terrorism) mr. Obama has clearly not studied the word enough. If he had, he would see in Luke 22:36 Jesus said, "sell your cloak and buy a sword." Sure, turning the other cheek is appropriate in some cases, but this is NOT one of those cases. "

2/14/2012 12:39:44 PM

Got this gem today:



[Edited on February 14, 2012 at 9:31 PM. Reason : why do people think this is a good idea?]

2/14/2012 9:30:52 PM

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

oh wait, you know that is not how this works right...

2/14/2012 9:33:37 PM

Hahaha wtf

LOLWAT no one knows how to read the damn things

I don't want to live on this planet anymore

[Edited on February 14, 2012 at 9:36 PM. Reason : didnt see the comments]

2/14/2012 9:35:14 PM

:parrot:

2/14/2012 9:45:41 PM

Are they reading them wrong?


Am I reading them wrong?

2/14/2012 10:05:19 PM

No idea. They all look positive to me.

2/14/2012 10:13:37 PM

Regardless of the correctness or incorrectness.

Who does that?

2/14/2012 10:14:40 PM

Pregnant ladies, apparently.

2/14/2012 10:15:21 PM

They all looked negative to me on my phone, its hard to say.

Still on the subject of pregnancy:

Quote :

"What to do when a well-meaning person hurts your friends feelings by blessing her pregnancy when she isn't even pregnant? Not much I can do about it but I feel awful for my friend. The sad thing is it was meant in the sweetest of ways."

lulz

2/19/2012 2:17:55 PM

someone congratulated a chick for being pregnant but she was really just fat?

2/19/2012 2:20:49 PM

I'm guessing so. What makes it a bit odd is that the woman who posted the update is like, my mom's age.

2/19/2012 2:24:23 PM

2/21/2012 1:10:36 PM

not a status, but one of my friends just posted a pic on facebook of her and her daughter. she has the kid on a leash.

2/27/2012 6:03:07 PM

Quote :

"So this AM I notice my right blinker is blinking erratically fast and the left blinker blinks normal .... Offly strange lol"

2/29/2012 9:37:49 AM

OFFLY

2/29/2012 9:43:17 AM

2^tell that person one of their lights is out

2/29/2012 9:52:59 AM

OFFLY!

2/29/2012 9:54:29 AM

Quote :

"?!!!!!!!!!!!! Watch out for your wall! Tell a friend! Hackers are now on Facebook and on the walls of your friends, they write insults under your name and you do not know about it!!.You will not see it, but your friends see that your name is written below the written insults. If you get something from me that is offensive, know that it was not me! Copy to your wall"

3/8/2012 9:50:37 PM

hey look guys, I beat the devil!!!

3/12/2012 6:48:01 PM

Quote :

"Beautiful daii in the park wit my ? riyah...she had a blast at her 1st bdaii partii...and I now know were I'm throwin her partii at :-) had a blast she is so much fun...and is now fullii pottii trained....GO RIYAH ? so blessed to hve a smart and beautiful babiigrl :-) on to an even betta nght"

3/12/2012 6:54:05 PM

she spelled my wrong

3/12/2012 6:55:15 PM

Quote :

"Past if your in God's Army"

3/12/2012 6:58:11 PM

Quote :

"There are little green floating worms all over campus...wtf - Juliana Meredith : Huhh??? Meredith: Maybe they're inch worms! They hang from the trees by their little strings. I used to love those when I was little haha Caitlin Marie : i saw some yesterday. its creepy :/ about an hour ago Julianna : They like to hide in my hair and down my shirt. Definitely creepy Meredith : Don't judge them, they're cute! They're just baby worms! Natalie Harper Haha!! It's inchworms are crazy! Julianna : yea, why are they in the trees anyway???! don't they live in the ground?? "

3/22/2012 4:08:06 PM

Quote :

"Watching George Lopez now that shts funny"

4/9/2012 10:05:43 PM

Quote :

"I spent some time thinking about what makes today unique and why we celebration it as a holiday. I did some research, and would like to point out that before Jesus, lots of deities were resurrected from the dead. From ancient near east religions- Ugaritic Baal, Melqart, Adonis, Eshmun, Osiris and Dumuzi. From Greek - Asclepiu, Achilles, Alcmene, Castor, Heracles, and Melicertes."

Don't be that guy. Nobody cares about you pseudo-intellectual religious history as much as you don't care for Christianity.

4/9/2012 10:12:39 PM

Quote :

"Had a dream last night where i was getting in this dudes face for making a racist comment. Told him everyone looks the same inside and to get over it and stop being ignorant. Id do the same if it actually happened. Dreams are funny huh"

4/9/2012 10:13:35 PM

Quote :

"Just went to a place in Garner to wash my car...just insert coins and HOLY MOLEY pressure washer #socool #itsthesmallthingsthatblowmymind"

4/9/2012 10:14:53 PM

Quote :

"$5 trillion of debt amassed while the outright socialist Hussein Obama is tearing down our military brick by brick and ending the space program..."

4/19/2012 12:24:29 AM

Quote :

"http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2012-04-18.html"

4/19/2012 12:30:00 AM

lol @ obama ending the space program

4/19/2012 7:27:03 AM

a friend posted a story about Amendment 1 - it was a blog post by this woman who talked about how Amendment 1 could affect decisions in the future regarding her wife and their adopted son. that was fine - it was a sweet story....but then someone commented on my friend's post and was like, "be careful folks - marriage was created by God"

i SOOOO wanted to respond

4/19/2012 8:38:48 AM

Why didn't you?

4/19/2012 11:02:55 AM

Quote :

"Just had to get MidEvil on Aidan..."

Aidan is her son

4/19/2012 4:41:28 PM

Quote :

"Ok poo...the colonoscopy was over 5 hours ago. You can stop now!"

4/25/2012 5:06:22 PM

That's gross. People are waaay TMI on facebook.

4/25/2012 5:07:02 PM

update on colonoscopy girl

Melissa XXXXX
Ok...has anyone else had a colonoscopy and been sicker the day of the procedure? I just spent the last 10 minutes concentrating on breathing to pass the cramps. NOW I feel like death.
Like · · 10 hours ago ·

Stephen XXXXX The best part about a colonoscopy is the Puffy zipper farts you have for like an hour after... Hilarious sounding.
10 hours ago via mobile · Like
Melissa XXXXXX hahaha...no, they were the WORST! I was literally in tears because they hurt my stomach so bad. They told me to get on all fours and I couldn't move.
10 hours ago · Like
Stephen XXXXXXX Aw mengn
10 hours ago via mobile · Like
BrandonAbby XXXXXX Yeah thats pretty common sorry dude.
10 hours ago via mobile · Like
Melissa XXXXXX hahhaa...I did feel bad farting while people were in my room though...including my soon to be aunt hahaha. But yeah, right now...I feel like someone just sucked the life from me. Horrible.
10 hours ago · Like
Stephen XXXXXX They are the funniest sounding farts right up there with church pew farts
10 hours ago via mobile · Like
Melissa XXXXXX hahahahaha spuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrt. They're my favorite.
10 hours ago · Like
Amanda XXXXXX I know it's awful, but it will pass! (No pun intended!) The pain that you're having is related to the air that they inject into your colon to help the scope pass more easily. If the pain really gets bad, take some Gas X! I know that really helped me when I had mine!
10 hours ago via mobile · Like
Melissa XXXXXX I had the normal moans and groans for the first few hours after being home. The cramping I just felt was what I normally experience and what prompted me to agree to a colonoscopy. They're two totally different feelings. I just hope it doesn't keep happening. I really just want to be put down while it's going on haha
10 hours ago · Like

4/26/2012 9:29:03 AM

Quote :

"Either Hussein Obama is completely incompetent or he's working for the other side"

5/1/2012 8:14:00 PM

I desperately want to comment on this picture...chick is on her 2nd marriage. Got married cause she got knocked up by the first guy.

"It's a good thing your baby out of wedlock and divorce don't ruin the sanctity of marriage"

5/2/2012 6:59:22 AM

^ Please do it!!!

5/2/2012 7:10:51 AM

Quote :

""There are little green floating worms all over campus...wtf - Juliana"

hahaha

5/2/2012 7:26:31 AM

Quote :

"Rajat Chawla THIS IS UNFAIR !!!!, Why is it when your wife or girlfriend gets pregnant, all of her friends rub her belly and say "Congratuations!" But nobody rubs your D**K and says "Good Job!" Like · Share · Saturday at 7:28am · Jen Nelson and 8,800 others like this. 240 shares Rahul Kuletha this one is dedicated to all girls hehe :-) Saturday at 7:48am · Like · 2 Rajat Chawla ?Rahul Kuletha - marengi sab pakad ke ..fan folloewing peak pe hai abhi Saturday at 7:49am · Like · 1 Rahul Kuletha ?Rajat Chawlaabe koi ni maaraega jo like kaeraga voh kyu maaarega Saturday at 7:52am · Like Rajat Chawla ?...diplomat log..tujhe marne ke liye ho to like Saturday at 7:54am · Like Rahul Kuletha bhai dekh 39 ho gai ,1 baje tak century ho gaigi Saturday at 7:55am · Like Rajat Chawla ?Rahul Kuletha - century to choti cheez hai hazaron mei baat karaa kar Saturday at 7:56am · Like Rahul Kuletha hmm saahi hai bhai ,hogardan peenge phir Saturday at 7:57am · Like Rajat Chawla oooo mehfil jamegi Saturday at 7:59am · Like Rahul Kuletha saahi hai dhang se padegi phir Saturday at 7:59am · Like Rahul Kuletha ho gai century Saturday at 9:27am · Like Rajat Chawla balle balle boss Saturday at 9:31am · Like Rahul Kuletha phir Saturday at 9:32am · Like · 2 Rahul Kuletha party Saturday at 9:32am · Like · 2 SriSh Ti haha Saturday at 4:00pm · Like Swati Loftygal Lol!..osuM! Saturday at 4:08pm via mobile · Like · 9 Rajat Chawla thanx lot guys Saturday at 8:21pm · Like · 1 Rajat Chawla Thanks a ton for liking my status. Ii have one request please Bro become my subscriber if u like my status i cant add u . really sorry status is public, profile is personal i hope u can understand. I am just like u people i stay abroad and Fb is for my family and frnds to keep in touh if i add too many people will be hard for me to get in touch with them SORRY Saturday at 11:37pm · Like · 12 Borys Salenko your becoming a celebrity Yesterday at 12:21am · Like · 8 Gurpreet Singh may be ur buddies might congratulate u .... oh shit nobody wants that. Yesterday at 2:48am · Like · 55 Rajat Chawla good comment gurpreet .. Yesterday at 3:31am · Like · 7 Abhijeet Aman sahi hai boss : Yesterday at 6:18am · Like · 4 Parshant Dua agreed Yesterday at 12:16pm · Like · 5 Veronika Walker Hello rajat 10 hours ago via mobile · Like · 2 Rajat Chawla hiiiee dear 9 hours ago · Like · 3 Debjyoti Chatterjee hornu status.... 9 hours ago · Like · 4 Veronika Walker Hwz u... 6 hours ago via mobile · Like Asutosh Nayak Oh my best wishes. May you get your D**K rubbed when you impregnate your partner.. 5 hours ago · Like · 12"

5/14/2012 4:32:59 PM

5/15/2012 10:34:13 AM

hahaha

Quote :

"Feeling great! I lost 13 pounds with the strep throat diet plan. The results weren't as good as the dysentery plan that I picked up in Costa Rica in 2007, but hey, at least I didn't bleed from both ends. That's always a plus! Anyway, I'm trying to figure out how to keep the pounds from creeping back. Facebook, tell me about your body."

5/15/2012 10:45:58 AM

Quote :

"Dear FB Buddies . . . If I have something negative to say to you, I will inbox you. Watch your wall. Tell your friends . . . Hackers are now on FB writing insults on your friends' walls, such insults of which are made to appear as having come from you. You don't know or see it but your friends do. As a result, they have deleted you from their list of friends. I want to assure you that if you get something supposedly from me that's offensive, it certainly didn't come from me.......copy n paste"

lol

5/15/2012 12:54:27 PM