I heart Disney world
4/8/2009 7:11:16 PM
i have used my treadmill 4 times since i got it in september...i am not sure why i thought having one would be so awesome
4/8/2009 7:13:42 PM
I really badly secretly want to lash out at assholes when they pull that stupid shit. IT'S NOT FUNNY OR CUTE AND IT'S REALLY FUCKING OLD.
4/8/2009 9:07:49 PM
4/8/2009 9:26:07 PM
4/8/2009 9:42:09 PM
Since hearing about the recent rash of midday break-ins by people posing as service contractors in this neighborhood, I've been going to the door with my gun at the small-of-the-back each time someone comes by.
4/8/2009 9:57:44 PM
Whenever I hear The Lion Sleeps Tonight, I think of Lorena Bobbitt
4/9/2009 11:08:52 PM
when i drink, i let my shields down, and that is when i understandand i want to say i get it; i'm fucking retarded, i fucked upbut then when i wake up, the shields are upand i don't care anymore.happy easter everyone, i know mine will be shit-task-it.
4/12/2009 2:14:15 AM
my feet don't smell so great right now
4/13/2009 5:04:56 PM
For some reason, whenever I hear something about Woody Harrelson, I always think it's about Willie Nelson. Their names aren't THAT similar, but I do this anyway.
4/13/2009 5:10:10 PM
they both love their pot
4/13/2009 5:16:56 PM
I smoke cigarettes every hour on the hourso if I get home at 8:35, say, and have an assignment I want to get started on, I usually fuck around for 25 minutes till it's time to smoke the cigarette, and THEN I start the assignmentprobably by the time I die 3-6 months of my life will have been wasted in this manner
4/13/2009 9:00:58 PM
I have never had a bite of a plum.
4/13/2009 9:01:48 PM
i want to have relations with a 40ish year old busty milf
4/13/2009 9:49:20 PM
I think I am going to go to a certain club meeting on Wednesday night, in hopes of meeting this chick I have been stalking on Facebook]
4/13/2009 10:27:40 PM
^ Legends
4/13/2009 10:28:48 PM
no, I mean like a student-organization club...I live nowhere near Raleigh
4/13/2009 10:30:30 PM
^ i'm jus' funnin'
4/13/2009 10:32:18 PM
I'm just a dumbass
4/13/2009 10:32:53 PM
good luck... maybe you'll get to bwn on down
4/13/2009 10:34:15 PM
everything hurts and i don't think it will ever stop
4/13/2009 10:36:16 PM
preggers?jk jk...
4/13/2009 10:42:19 PM
whenever I mention that I'm feeling sick my sister ALWAYS asks if I'm pregnant.
4/13/2009 11:38:46 PM
I have the hots for a coworkerShe got drunk once and gave me a kiss at the bar as a tease
4/14/2009 12:37:52 AM
that'll work out
4/14/2009 12:38:34 AM
i just dont know
4/14/2009 12:39:59 AM
^^ My sis tells me that beer brings the truth out of women, but that sometimes the truth is she's just drunk and horney.[Edited on April 14, 2009 at 1:26 AM. Reason : dx]
4/14/2009 1:25:16 AM
I really, really hate people who try and blame alcohol for their actions.
4/14/2009 1:30:14 AM
I really, really hate over opinionated worthless cunts....and am so grateful they are no longer a bitch I have to tolerate out of respect.
4/14/2009 1:39:41 AM
^^ You mean she really loves me? [Edited on April 14, 2009 at 1:40 AM. Reason : dmx]
4/14/2009 1:39:43 AM
i want to drive somewhere but i have nowhere to drive to
4/14/2009 1:55:42 AM
I agree with ambrosia here, even though she's a crazy pscycho bitch.
4/14/2009 2:00:45 AM
It took me awhile (and more than one friend) to figure out that you are accountable for everything you do while drunk...even if you have zero recollection of doing it.I don't drink too much these days, largely because I don't like giving my evil drunken twin a blank check which I later have to honor.]
4/14/2009 2:07:15 AM
I especially liked the bitch who took the last swig out of a whiskey bottle while driving down the road but managed to slow enough to toss it onto the street before blasting through a stop sign. I feel guilty for not grabbing the plates and calling it in...
4/14/2009 2:08:33 AM
4/14/2009 2:10:35 AM
^ smashing idea! i always get the heath milkshakei, too, have read the twilight series. however, if i have a crush on a fictional character, it is either Mr. Darcy or Ron Weasley. HAWT [Edited on April 14, 2009 at 2:11 AM. Reason : mmmmm, cookout. ]
4/14/2009 2:10:44 AM
^^icecream is the last thing i need...been a pretty hardcore fatty as of late
4/14/2009 2:11:24 AM
my neighbor saw me pick my nose today
4/14/2009 2:19:33 AM
I'm all about some Heath cheesecake milkshakes...they are $$$
4/14/2009 2:23:49 AM
4/14/2009 2:23:55 AM
lol reading comprehension ftl
4/14/2009 2:24:31 AM
^^rly???
4/14/2009 2:25:10 AM
I get into arguments even though I dont believe in what im saying sometimes... just to see if I can win.
4/14/2009 2:33:52 AM
I feel really good about the marriage that Z and I are headed towards, and I love that we're on the same page about so many things, and that we have no illusions that neither life nor marriage will be easy, but I still worry about the future 15, 20, 40: will one of us end up horribly or chronically ill? Will we have a special needs or handicapped kid? What if one of us dies and we don't get to grow old together?And then I have to stop and remind myself that there's no point in trying to be a control freak on a timetable of that magnitude
4/14/2009 2:36:35 AM
^^ bring it!
4/14/2009 2:39:30 AM
My skin's been acting all fucked up recently but I refuse to go to a doctor. If it turns out to be something bad, I fully intend to blame everybody but myself for the delay in treatment.
4/14/2009 2:40:19 AM
Pretty sure he will finally see the light and divorce your fat ass. Just keeping it real cause from what I've been told and have witnessed your relationship is a joke and YOU are the problem. [Edited on April 14, 2009 at 2:41 AM. Reason : hammy1231lbs. LOL ]
4/14/2009 2:40:47 AM
]
4/14/2009 2:42:39 AM
Wanna make a bet??
4/14/2009 2:43:21 AM
its official...kiwi is officially more fucked in the head that ambrosia
4/14/2009 2:44:28 AM