A+ thread. I think I could last to beer 5.


But I drink quickly.



[Edited on March 25, 2014 at 7:12 PM. Reason : new page]

3/25/2014 7:11:12 PM

Yea are we talking a nice craft beer or Bud Light?

I want the full interactive experience. Get a private room, fire up the projector and give us a damn old school slideshow with stories. With Facebook and shit now, everybody knows where everybody is traveling instantly. Nobody ever has to worry about not having enough internet bandwidth to not post incessantly about their fucking trip. By the time they get back most of their FB friends are trying their hardest to ignore the latest posts. I have a friend right now who is taking a month off to tour southeast Asia. Its kinda cool, but he posts 1-2 a day with multiple pictures and I just want to tell him to STFU and post a gallery upon his return.

3/25/2014 7:36:25 PM

Years ago, during one of my few trips back to raleighwood after I moved, I had the distinct pleasure of meeting that platinum-tongued rascal that goes by the handle GrumpyGOP. Not only was he a complete gentleman who stands by his morals and principles at every delightful turn. But even after consuming copious amounts of alcohol, enough to down a small elephant, he is still amazingly able to orate the most vividly descriptive stories.

I would love to sit down over several drinks, and have a nice talk.

3/25/2014 7:51:58 PM

Oh yeah? Well, I worked with him, so there. And I don't recall much about his personality to have an opinion but I knew him before he was tww famous.

3/25/2014 9:57:16 PM

Quote :

"I want the full interactive experience."

Haha, I have often thought about how to give people "the full experience." Basically we would put everybody into a vehicle or vehicles designed to hold approximately half as many, then drive it across a field or something else that isn't a road with the heat on full blast and a mix tape of babies crying playing at max volume. Then when we arrived everybody would get fed plain oatmeal (making pate is too much work for me and it's the next blandest thing) and the presentation could begin. Also to answer your question the beer would be Bud Light to simulate the Beninese beer drinking experience. It ... it isn't good.

Quote :

" Not only was he a complete gentleman who stands by his morals and principles"

If I remember correctly which principles you are talking about they lasted about a month after that meeting. Which reminds me, I was profoundly, numbingly stoned on the beach last Christmas Day. It seemed like the appropriate way to celebrate the life of my uncle, who had been murdered a couple of days before.

Quote :

"Well, I worked with him, so there. And I don't recall much about his personality to have an opinion but I knew him before he was tww famous."

I got that job because of the wolfweb -- read about it on here, and the boss hired me because I once told him to eat a dick on this very website.

[Edited on March 26, 2014 at 3:59 AM. Reason : that boss wrote me a letter of rec for peace corps]

3/26/2014 3:58:34 AM

If we're playing the "I knew you when" game -- I feel like I had poli sci classes with you at NCSU. If you frequently wore oversized Hawaiian shirts and had a buddy who was significantly shorter than you.

3/26/2014 8:46:10 AM

Well the shirt sounds like me. The buddy part is pretty vague. I'm significantly taller than 95% of people.

In spite of my efforts to avoid the teacher in charge I seem to have been roped into yet another English club meeting. These would be OK if I ran them, but the African teachers always insist on having a lesson, and that lesson always ends up taking the whole hour and being stultifying dull for everybody. It's just more English class, and Beninese English classes are horribly designed memorization exercises performed by teachers who do not speak much English themselves. They frequently make errors and, here's the kicker, they get upset if I correct them. See, it makes them look dumb in front of the students. I would have thought that calling "teacher" a three syllable word was what made them look dumb, but no, it's me.

Usually I end up doing nothing but menacing kids with a stick when they are disruptive, and chasing away people who are being disruptive outside.

3/26/2014 10:50:23 AM

oh gooooood what is it with the constant lessons and praying? I know a bunch of people from Rwanda and I've been to a couple of their 'parties' before. It's pretty much like sitting in church for several hours, and then cold overfried food is served.

3/26/2014 10:58:35 AM

Hahaha, yep. A Beninese party cannot begin until virtually everybody present has made a long, somber speech. They're attracted to a microphone like moths to a flame. I went to a little family get together with my boss for New Years. I was excited -- there was beer and even meat. Then I didn't get to eat for an hour and a half while the microphone was passed around, people gave long speeches in any one of three languages that I don't speak, then said the blessing.

And like I say, the speech must be in somber voice. No jokes. This is your time to be important, so act serious, K?

Then, when all of that is done, you turn on a large number of old, gigantic speakers and blare African music at maximum volume and try to have a conversation.

The trick is to realize the importance of being fashionably late (usually 4-5 hours after the alleged start time). By then they're already onto the music and there's still food and beer left.

3/26/2014 11:11:41 AM

travel the world, chase people with sticks

3/26/2014 11:12:39 AM

Last time I went nobody showed so I made paper cranes and hid them in desks so that kids would think it was a witchcraft thing. I'm a bad person.

3/26/2014 11:29:45 AM

sneak into the school at night, glue all the desks to the ceiling

3/26/2014 11:34:11 AM

The ceiling is just rusty sheet metal, it would collapse and kill me. But I have considered saving up my chicken bones and arranging them in threatening ways in random places. Sneaking in wouldn't be hard. There's no fence and none of the classrooms have doors, and they don't have windows so much as they have large gaps in the walls.

That gives you some idea of what the schools are like: open rooms that are exposed to the weather on two sides, covered with sheet metal. When it rains, the noise is deafening and everyone has to crowd into one side of the room while the other side gets drenched. For a blackboard they have a section of wall painted in some sort of blackboard-esque substance that quickly deteriorates such that anything written on it is illegible. They repaint it once a year. The desks are normal enough, the chairs are just benches. It is not uncommon for a classroom to have 60 students in it. It is rare for there to be fewer than 30, that only happens at the highest levels.

Because all the classes are open and adjacent, each teacher is trying to shout over the teachers next door to him as well as the students, who will not shut up.

There is a director whose job, as far as I can tell, is to be a little tin god, a pissant with a mini hill to piss off of. Real work is left for the underlings, but heaven help you if you talk to an underling without going and paying your respect to him first.

Corporal punishment is nominally illegal but commonly used in school. Other discipline options include forced labor, making kids stand with their nose against the wall for long periods, or standing at attention in the sun.

Teachers routinely impregnate students, and parents often encourage it -- a teacher has a steady job with some sort of paycheck, so he's a better baby-daddy than most.

3/26/2014 11:46:35 AM

Quote :

"Then, when all of that is done, you turn on a large number of old, gigantic speakers and blare African music at maximum volume and try to have a conversation. "

What is "African" music?

And did that teaching style evolve from some indigenous methodology, or was it imposed? It seems like a crude form of what we have here, that also doesn't work.

Seems odd that "school" is perceived to be a bunch of kids listening to someone drone on, around the world, rather than what the Scandinavian countries have been trying recently.

3/26/2014 12:55:21 PM

Quote :

"And did that teaching style evolve from some indigenous methodology, or was it imposed? It seems like a crude form of what we have here, that also doesn't work. "

Imposed, given that schools didn't really develop indigenously.

And I disagree. Maybe I was lucky in my public schools back home, but they did not cling to rote anything near like what Benin (and, I understand, most of W. Africa) does. The curriculum I had at least tried to encourage critical thinking. Writing skills were also important and were tested. If you gave a writing prompt to a Beninese kid he'd be clueless. They only write down exactly what the teacher wrote on the board; the idea of an essay is alien. Creativity was encouraged, at least from time to time, in my education. And if you think American schools "teach to the test," then brother, you ain't seen nothing yet. The Beninese school system exists solely to get kids to pass the various tests so that they can advance to the next level.

Oh, and reading. They don't do it. I have seen exactly one Beninese person reading for pleasure. Kids have very little reading in their assignments. Most educated people move their lips or outright say the words as they read because they can't do it silently.

The only way in which you can really compare the two educational systems is insofar as they both of teachers and students.

Quote :

"What is "African" music?"

In Benin it's drum heavy, which isn't necessarily the case all over the region. Dad said in Ghana they were much more into horns and stringed instruments. Here, you have a lot of drums with a large chorus of women's voices and one main singer. It's normal for songs to be very repetitive and very long.

Of course, there's all kinds of more modern stuff. They like Michael Jackson and, of all things, Celine Dion. The Nigerian band P Square is probably the most popular group in Benin and their song, "Chop My Money," is basically the Peace Corps anthem (as well as being insanely popular among locals). Christian music is big, and country music is the next best thing. I don't hear it played here, but whenever I let people here my song selection they go NUTS for the country stuff.

Oh, and salsa. Both original Latin American and the Ghanaian imitation.

3/26/2014 1:47:57 PM

One last note about education -- Benin still uses the BAC test at the end of secondary school, in much the same form as it was originally implemented in France. By Napoleon. The Beninese use a 200 year old test system. Which would be understandable if Benin had subsequently become a powerhouse of education, but...

3/26/2014 1:49:28 PM

do you ever see the Africa face?

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsajtuofOw1qm0aepo1_400.gif

[Edited on March 26, 2014 at 1:57 PM. Reason : changed to a link in case of shitty internets]

3/26/2014 1:52:36 PM

Yeah, pictures do not make my computer happy, but I guess now that it's loaded once the problem is solved.

And...I dunno, is Africa face just them smiling? If so, yes.

Just saw the name "Black Jesus" and thought I would mention that black Jesus is not a thing in Benin. Jesus is always white, as are Santa Clause and the mannequins you see in clothing stores. It is the trinity of things that should be black here but aren't.

[Edited on March 26, 2014 at 2:00 PM. Reason : ]

3/26/2014 1:56:59 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZslcTuKYeDk

Chop My Money

There's an Akon remix too... sounds very Caribbean.

3/26/2014 5:32:58 PM

An hour ago my neighbor knocked on my door and told me in a very serious tone that everybody wanted to talk to me. I went out and there were the seven heads of households in my community, each looking very grave.

The one with best English said, in that language, "Last month you were sick for our thing so we didn't talk to you about it. But this month we think, we will talk to you. We are all going to pay 2,000 francs ($4, about 2/3 what I make in a day) for it. Do you want to participate?"

"Participate in what? What is the 'thing'?"

This spawned a five minute festival of mutual incomprehension. The Beninese can say "thing" ("chose" or "truc" in French here) and instantly have it be understood. It's like that episode of South Park where the aliens say "marklar" for every person, place, or thing, but they all somehow get it. I'm not an alien, or Beninese.

Come to find out, they've started the tradition of having everybody throw in some money every month for a little party, and last month I was sick for said party. I said sure, what the hell. They then launched into a twenty minute debate about what the base for the meal would be, arguing between three choices:

1) Pate (boiled corn meal)
2) Akassa (pate that is allowed to rot a little)
3) Macaroni (essentially any packaged pasta

I was asked for my opinion and said I would eat anything other than akassa, which has the most vile consistency of any food derived from the minds of men. They laughed. Then another guy suggested pate rouge, which is a slightly fancier kind of pate. This launched into a much longer conversation.

The debate about what to serve with the pate had religious elements (Muslims can't eat pork, the first thing suggested), boredom aspects (we're all sick of fish), and a prolonged discourse about the difficulty in acquiring decent chicken.

The drink debate was much shorter and ended up deciding that half of our budget would go to them, mainly in the form of beer and 10 liters of palm wine. 10 liters, for seven people.

My posts at around 5:00 PM EST on 9 April should be entertaining.

But compare this hour long debate (and it was a debate, with people asking for the floor and then debating like they were Pliny before the senate) to how party planning goes in the states.

"Hey, EMCE, can you bring chicken wings to the party?"
"Sure."
"You're black so I trust you to buy bojangles."
"That is essentially accurate."
"Good. Hey bmel, can you please bring some kind of dip?"
"Yes."
"And BigMan, are you on the chip/snack situation?"
"I am"
"Great, that took thirty seconds, see you guys at the party. I'll handle the beer."

3/26/2014 5:40:58 PM

those boys ain't got nothin on my boy banks.

3/27/2014 1:11:30 PM

I have no idea what that means.

In Cotonou, the big city, about to eat something that purports to be a cheeseburger. It isn't, but it's closer than any of the other impostors.

3/27/2014 1:20:37 PM

Quote :

"1) Pate (boiled corn meal)"

lol, when you mentioned eating pate in an earlier post, I thought you meant the mousse liver pate. I get why it's so bland/bad now.

3/27/2014 3:07:13 PM

wait, i have to bring chips to Benin now? goddammit

3/27/2014 3:12:10 PM

Quote :

"lol, when you mentioned eating pate in an earlier post, I thought you meant the mousse liver pate. I get why it's so bland/bad now."

Hahahahaha, no. Just boiled corn flour. Some regions use manioc instead. Either way, it is just mush.

It is still better than akassa, which is just ghastly. I mean, I can barely choke it down, and I have eaten some really suspect stuff here.

3/27/2014 4:20:49 PM

^^Bring tortilla chips to go with my 7-layer dip. Thanks.


Sucks that the schools are so terrible. Sounds like every aspect of it is just awful. Do you think schools will improve eventually or are they forever doomed due to their culture? Should I just be glad that they have a school and shut up about it? Also, why do they invite you to the English classes if you can't actually help? Are you just their white boy trophy or something?

[Edited on March 27, 2014 at 5:02 PM. Reason : .]

3/27/2014 5:02:33 PM

I was invited to help with the English club because years ago the head of the department at this school brought kids to participate in the nationwide spelling bee peace corps does every year. He wanted to put on a regional version and hopefully bring kids to the national competition again. Of course, he did it too late to register kids for the national one, and it turns out that mostly what he wants me to do is find money to buy prizes to give to the winners, which I have no intention of doing.

Quote :

"Do you think schools will improve eventually or are they forever doomed due to their culture?"

"Forever" and "eventually" are long time frames. I assume that eventually something will change. Part of the problem is that every Beninese who gets exposure to an alternative abroad tends to stay...abroad. If you have a good degree, why come back to Benin where nobody has heard of Harvard and "Yale" is a brand of Nigerian cookie? Your best case scenario is that you get a government job where you deal with corruption all day and have to share what you make with everybody in your family and social circle.

3/27/2014 5:17:24 PM

You mention the Chinese are screwing the country, and i've read a few odd articles over the years of Chinas big investments in Africa, but not necessarily Africans (building roads between mines and ports, but nowhere else, etc.).

Africa a HUGE, much larger than the US, it seems like it would be in our country's interest to invest in Africans, at the very least as a new consumer base.

3/27/2014 5:26:25 PM

Quote :

"You mention the Chinese are screwing the country, and i've read a few odd articles over the years of Chinas big investments in Africa, but not necessarily Africans (building roads between mines and ports, but nowhere else, etc.)."

And brother, you better believe it. There are a lot of Chinese workers here, working on Chinese projects, living on Chinese compounds, eating imported Chinese food. Sure, you see them out and about in Cotonou sometimes, but where the construction is really happening? Never. The whole operation is designed first and foremost to benefit China and Chinese workers. This can be contrasted to most countries, who will hire local labor for as much as they can because it's cheaper. The US loves giving Beninese people jobs. Hell, there are only three American employees at our office -- essentially the three top bosses. This wasn't always the case. Almost everyone in my dad's PC office was American.

Very little money enters the community. Most of the payout is to the government (and, by extension, to the politicians who agreed to the deal).

Quote :

"Africa a HUGE, much larger than the US, it seems like it would be in our country's interest to invest in Africans, at the very least as a new consumer base."

Sure. But here's the problem: China beat us to the punch in terms of producing things Africans want at a price Africans can afford. Everything here is a knockoff -- and Chinese knockoffs are the good ones, the Nigerian ones are the shitty version. The original Western-designed item is too expensive or complicated. We can't make crap cheap enough for the average Beninese family to afford.

Maybe we can make higher-quality, longer lasting things (and then again maybe we can't, but that's another thread). But no family I know here cares. They want to buy the cheapest thing they can get away with, by which I mean that won't cause a loss of prestige. If it breaks in a month they'll be very sad, but they will not plan for that eventuality.

3/27/2014 6:18:54 PM

Grumpy, are you sure you are not in fact PJ O'Rourke?

3/27/2014 7:41:02 PM

I wish. That man is my personal spirit guide and I weep that I was not able to bring all of his books with me. His life as a correspondent is basically my fantasy job.

3/28/2014 2:30:30 AM

I read an article (on vice nonetheless) about how bat soup has been spreadin Ebola, and in guinea, bat soup has now been banned.

3/30/2014 1:10:42 AM

I've not known anybody in Benin to eat bats (in soup or anything else), but it wouldn't surprise me if they did. As a rule they'll eat any meat they can get their hands on.

3/30/2014 6:27:48 AM

Update on third year job hunt:

I have a job if I want it. An American NGO, Partners for Development, has an employee who is a former PCV who is going home for grad school, and that departing employee hooked me up as a replacement -- a win for the organization, because they get the same quality of work but without hiring me for an actual job. Since I'd still be a PCV they'd only have to pay for my housing. It'd be in Cotonou, the big city, which means it would naturally come with a roughly $100/month pay raise (from $200/month). On top of that, the bizarre workings of NGOs in Benin mean that I would probably get a per diem on a regular basis that would be double or more my usual take-home for a day, plus access to a car and driver whenever I need to travel.

Given the low cost of living in Benin, even in Cotonou, those resources mean I could live like a little tin god. I'd be working mostly in food security, where I have some good experience, but I"d basically be an intern. And this job is for sure mine if I want it.

On the other hand, in the next couple of days PC may announce a new position here that would amount to Volunteer Leader/Director for Malaria. I'd get the baseline pay bump (every PCV based in the city gets that because it is expensive to live there) but none of the per diems and probably no driver. It would also almost certainly entail more work. On the plus side, my job title would make it clear that I was in charge of several nationwide projects -- a mosquito net distribution, a radical new malaria training scheme for villages, and all of the malaria-related grants that came through. Plus I'd be coordinating with CDC, USAID, and other big-name organizations.

So if that job exists and is available in the next couple of days (the deadline for applying for a third year is in two weeks), AND if I'm certain I'll get it (no credible competition, since I can only apply for one thing) I'll take malaria and some degree of prestige. Otherwise I'll take the NGO, certain money, and the possibility of prestige.

It's an exciting time to be me.

4/1/2014 4:38:04 PM

Yay.

4/1/2014 4:40:33 PM

what is food security?

4/1/2014 4:51:55 PM

Broadly speaking food security refers to whether or not people can find an afford food items to give their families enough nutrients, and whether they prepare it in such a way as to get those nutrients. Normally I have focused less on how to grow necessary plants and more on how to store them year round (because you don't have food security if all of your plants are gone by halfway through the dry season) and raising animals as a protein source (meat being rare here). The NGO in question has several big preservation projects.

4/1/2014 5:01:49 PM

aw, you're such a good guy. I hope you get malaria. Good Luck!

[Edited on April 1, 2014 at 6:05 PM. Reason : This isn't meant to be sarcastic or ill-minded]

4/1/2014 6:03:24 PM

lol at 'I hope you get malaria'

We'll see. Unless something goes catastrophically wrong I can't lose.

In other news I finally found the Orthodox church in Cotonou. It's pretty much like any Orthodox church except for the drums, dancing, black people, and lack of a front door.

4/1/2014 6:27:43 PM

Right now Benin is undergoing a teacher's strike. Sort of. It varies from school to school and teacher to teacher, and day to day. See, only a minority of teacher sin Benin are full time. Those guys are striking. The majority, the part timers, are mostly still doing classes as usual. Also the strike is only Tuesday-Thursday each week. But the striking teachers are agitating hard against anybody who is still working. One of my friends in PC, an English teacher, had his class interrupted by a mob of students who were prompted by striking teachers to come disrupt classes and smear actual human shit on the walls.

Why the strike is happening, I don't know. Probably only a few people actually have a real idea. Everyone I ask gives a different reason. If you thought American unions were corrupt, they're pikers next to the Beninese. Most union officials are members of several disparate unions, and most contracts benefit them alone. The most plausible story for this strike is that a union leader got roughed up by police, and the president refused to fire the people responsible. Now they've added a pay element to it. Some people claim they are owed back pay that was never provided. One guy said they were promised a 25% raise (!) that hasn't materialized. Meanwhile, the health workers have joined in the strike as well.

Any given day you hear new rumors. The strike is over. The strike is about to expand. The school strike has gone on so long that they will have to extend the school year, or even cancel it altogether -- the dreaded "blank year," which last happened 20 years ago and which means students and their families threw their time, money, and effort down the toilet this year.

It hasn't affected me much. My clubs have died, but they've been on life support for a while anyway.

The funny thing was a "student manifesto" that showed up recently at a friend's school. It was clearly written by the teachers; none of the students could come up with it. But it had two "whereas" clauses that made me bust out laughing:

Quote :

"- In light of the fact that certain students are profiting from this release to totally forget their notebooks; - In light of the fact that others are profiting from it to engage in sexually uncontrolled practices;"

4/2/2014 12:48:12 PM

The girlfriend just acquired an internet phone and knowledge of this website. This will end poorly for me, mark my words.

4/2/2014 5:21:21 PM

you had a good run

4/2/2014 7:42:24 PM

This place honestly sounds and looks almost indistinguishable from Warren County NC.

Is the scrap metal business big over there? I know of at least two criminal factions here in warren county that thrive on theft of scrap metal almost exclusively. Little ones pop up every once in a while but are generally absorbed by one of the two larger ones.
The local junkyard owner here is a old big shot in the teamsters so has real ties to the old detroit mob. it's pretty bananas

4/2/2014 8:35:32 PM

Quote :

"This place honestly sounds and looks almost indistinguishable from Warren County NC."

Quote :

"almost"

[Edited on April 2, 2014 at 8:39 PM. Reason : http://www.city-data.com/county/Warren_County-NC.html]

4/2/2014 8:37:54 PM

i can't tell if you are intending to refute or support my claim

(the more stats I read the more confused I get)

This is the district frank balance called home. and the sheriff who enabled him is my sheriff. he's the dumbest man alive

[Edited on April 2, 2014 at 8:53 PM. Reason : see how the income stats get wonky every 3-4 years? this county claims other counties' incomes ]

4/2/2014 8:50:04 PM

if being Director means you can't chase PC women, I'd choose the other one

4/2/2014 9:04:06 PM

Scrap metal is important. I don't see any theft of it, really, although the railroads were picked apart almost immediately after train service ended. Certainly there isn't any organization to it.

4/2/2014 10:16:49 PM

^^ haha

Quote :

"That man is my personal spirit guide"

true; same.

you should change your status to "...party reptile"

4/2/2014 10:47:15 PM

Like all sane volunteers, I am now passing the point where I am over "village life." It's been fun. It's been interesting. I've learned a lot about the world and it has improved me as a human being and all that shit, but I'm ready to go to the city now.

There are volunteers who extend their service in village. Those are what we call "crazy people."

4/3/2014 2:58:35 PM

People back home love to ask me how my french is. It's shitty. Partly because I'm dumb, but mostly because whatever the fuck I speak here is only kind of French.

Let's look at the situation. French is my third language, after English and what used to be nearly-fluent Spanish. For most of the people around me, it is AT LEAST their third language. Often their fourth or fifth. My village is full of people who speak Goun and Nagot fluently, and French...kinda sorta. Now imagine having to spend two years surrounded by people who had a high-school level in whatever language you studied, assuming that you have a similar level.

Even within their own languages, communication is a minefield. There are 50 languages indigenous to Benin. People in my region are primarily Nagot, the local word for Yoruba. But there are four kinds of Yoruba here, each mutually intelligible but not without some back-and-forth to understand what's going on. It's like taking someone from the backwoods of Alabama and having them talk to someone from Boston. Nominally the same language, practically you need an interpreter. I know. I've been the interpreter.

So partly I'm excusing my own failure to become good at local language, but I'm also explaining one of the big problems Benin (and Africa) face. Plenty of Americans can't competently talk about technical issues in the one language they speak. It shouldn't be surprising that people here have trouble when they're talking in several languages, only one of which has the words for some technical matters, and that is guaranteed to be the one language they weren't speaking from birth: French.

From our perspective as volunteers, even devoting yourself to local language learning won't help. Many of the dialects here are tonal, like Chinese -- pretty much the gold standard in difficult languages to learn. Tonality means that the exact same sentence can mean different things based on inflection. "Ile," pronounced "ee-lay" means either ground or home. "Mi gblo kpedeyah" (my effort at transliteration) can mean, "Did you do a little?" (A common greeting) or "You didn't do shit," which would be insulting, all based on how you inflect the "ah" at the end. Never mind that "gb" and "kp" are difficult sounds to master to someone who spent his linguistic career in western Europe.

And the French here is not your Parisian granddaddy's French. In fact PCVs who go to France report that black people get pissed off, and think they're being mocked, while white people say, "Why do you talk like a gang banger?"

4/4/2014 3:33:28 PM