Since Halloween is tomorrow I figured I'd start a spooky thread and what's more terrifying than aging?

So in the past year I've had a colonoscopy which involved a whole bunch of plumbing around in my butt, asking me questions about how I shit, and medically inducing diarrhea.

In the past week I had an ER visit for acute testicular pain. It's epididymitis and the hospital staff thought it was much more likely that I had gonorrhea or chlamydia than complications from my vasectomy last month. The ultrasound showed what I pretty much knew. My left nad is all swollen. At least the pain has subsided but that's not how I wanted warm lube rubbed all over my balls.

Anyway, what's ailing you? I know you're all old so don't lie - most of you are definitely fucked up in some kind of embarrassing way. Spill it.

10/30/2022 11:00:14 AM

I think I have multiple dental crowns and/or implants in my mid- to long-term future.

Prolly also some skin cancer since I'm a pasty white man and have had 3 first-degree relatives including both parents and a sibling who have had something so far.

Other than that, I feel fine at 39.

10/30/2022 11:04:49 AM

^^ haha, damn.

I keep thinking about getting a vasectomy. The idea of cutting things inside my balls isn't very appealing, but I could sack up, so to speak, and get past that. I just don't want to lose any sexual sensation. I know it shouldn't cause that, but I have a friend who complains that his did, so I'm a little paranoid.

10/30/2022 3:48:49 PM

Here, this might help some of y'all (due to age):

10/30/2022 4:51:39 PM

pics or it didn't happen

10/30/2022 5:40:13 PM

Quote :

"and what's more terrifying than aging?"

natural disasters

10/30/2022 7:38:01 PM

Aging during natural disasters.

10/30/2022 8:38:13 PM

10/30/2022 9:11:57 PM

Dentist just told me last week that I need a crown, my first one And I am TOO sore after playing soccer. Besides that, I mainly only feel older due to kids.

10/30/2022 9:30:36 PM

Getting snipped wasn't bad at all (and I'm a wuss about medical stuff), but not sure which type Snewf got, open-ended or closed. I went with the open-ended, no-needle, no-scalpel from Dr. Monteith over by North Hills. If it closed procedure you might have more swelling. Open-ended was super easy, I drove myself to the appointment and back to Carrboro in my stick shift pickup and even went out and did shit the next day. First night sleeping and getting up was the most uncomfortable but otherwise I just wore some more supportive underwear to keep things in place for a few days until it healed and now I completely forget that I even got it. For me at least there was no change in anything from the procedure. Best $100 I ever spent.

[Edited on October 31, 2022 at 9:28 AM. Reason : ]

10/31/2022 9:27:05 AM

In January 2020 I had a hemorrhoidectomy after battling hemorrhoids for around 6 years and not being able to shake them with prescription creams.
The following 6 or 7 days of recovery I experienced some of the worst pain ever in my life. The first two or three days I somehow survived my poops. Maybe due to pain meds and numbing creams. But the last few poops, I was in agony throughout the whole process. The only way I can describe it as feeling like I was slowly shitting out a softball. I would go straight from the toilet to soaking in a hot epsom salt bath. A new hemorrhoid reared its ugly head around 8 months later, but I was able to shrink it using prescriptions this time.
Mind your heavy lifting and use fiber if necessary, kids.

10/31/2022 2:29:33 PM

Hemorrhoids fuckin suck

10/31/2022 7:28:49 PM

Having an excuse to play with your asshole is nice though.



[Edited on October 31, 2022 at 7:41 PM. Reason : mine wasn't mortifying]

10/31/2022 7:40:13 PM

Colonoscopy wasn’t shit. Except for the prep the day/night before, when it was pretty much a never ending stream of shitwater. Getting up super early the next morning after very little sleep and then the after effects of anesthesia were the worst parts.

This year has sucked. Lost about 2.5 weeks due to COVID19 at the very beginning. Around May, I had about 3 weeks of constant maddening shooting pain in my shoulders and all the way down my left arm due to bulging cervical discs (C5-C6, C6-C7). Burning in my forearm and back of hand. I was READY for whatever surgery to get some semblance of relief. After constant NSAIDs, gabapentin, and Valium for a week to get pain/inflammation/spasms under control, I started doing a LOT of physical therapy and got it to very manageable levels. The very tip of my left index finger still has some neuropathy going on.

Middle of August: I went ahead and did carpal tunnel surgery on left hand/wrist, still have residual pain and weakness in my left hand, but NO peripheral neuropathy! (Well except for the damn index finger). I will be doing the right one in the next 6-12 months. The left was quite a bit worse; hence the left surgery first.

One day I gotta resume doing something about L2-L5 vertebrae and corresponding bulging discs/stenosis. Gotta drop more weight first, keep hip and sacroiliac joint inflammation in check. The flare ups really get in the way of physical activity. This back and hip shit runs in the family (Celtic oaf genes). Both my mom’s brothers have had back issues, and one had both hips replaced before 60 (the first by 50). The other died at 53, most likely from a bunch of health issues including morbid obesity and drug dependency fueled by self medicating for…you guessed it…chronic back issues. Sad thing is he was always doing amazing camping and backpacking trips across the US and Canada in his earlier years and was in great shape. My youngest sister is 48 and will be having both hips replaced in the next two years. My cousin is in her early 40s and has had both of hers done.

Getting old sucks dog balls.

Oh, and I’m now 51, so my uncle’s death at 53 (10 years ago) is a bit unnerving.

[Edited on November 2, 2022 at 10:46 PM. Reason : 51. Fuck. ]

11/2/2022 10:43:22 PM

^Geeez, that sounds rough. Sorry to hear about all that.

I'm 38, thankfully everything is still fine. I've been running for 22+ years now and everyone always gave me shit about how I was ruining my knees, etc, but everything still feels good. I think it's also good that my job is outdoors and pretty physical, rather than sitting at a desk all day.

Also, I got a vasectomy earlier in the year and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. It wasn't bad at all, just a little discomfort for a couple of days.

[Edited on November 3, 2022 at 9:17 PM. Reason : add]

11/3/2022 9:11:30 PM

Snewf, thank you for putting this here instead of in Old School. That's a wasteland where threads go to die.

Except da XXXX-Day Club threads.

11/4/2022 5:41:26 PM

BTTT. We can't lose this gem of a thread to Page 2.

11/5/2022 9:51:03 AM

Multiple dental crowns and lower back pain are the most I can complain about so far. BTTT

11/12/2022 11:56:34 PM

For those with crowns, how do you like them? Do they feel and function like normal teeth in your mouth for all practical purposes, or do you have to baby them? Also, did you require a root canal prior to placement? Asking for a friend.

Nah, I'm asking for me. I haven't been told I need any, and hope I can skate by for another decade or so, but given family history, and also number of fillings, I assume they're on the horizon, so better to mentally prepare for the eventuality.

11/13/2022 8:40:47 AM

Definitely wondering about this, too. My sister had to get one last year, and she said it sucks 'cause it doesn't feel like her tooth (texture is different).

I'm supposed to schedule one for me soon, but haven't yet.

11/13/2022 2:51:36 PM

I don't really mean texture, but performance while chewing and such.

11/13/2022 3:04:36 PM

yo my balls are feeling better

wanna check 'em out?

11/16/2022 5:27:46 PM

^ we already seen your p33|\| so why not?

11/16/2022 9:33:42 PM

two level ADR C4 and C5 in October. One of the best decisions I made. Wish I had done it sooner. Outside of the normal stuff I was hoping for help with it also "fixed" some random things I thought were due to aging. Nope, just having a messed up neck.

11/16/2022 10:05:06 PM

i have two crowns. both on top, numbers 5 and 13.

thankfully, neither required a root canal. They fit and function like normal teeth and i have no hesitancy with eating or chewing. My guilty pleasure are gummy bears or SPK's and i don't think twice.

The #5 was done by my previous dentist and the fit isn't perfect. I can feel where it's attached above my gum line if i rub my fingernail around the base. My new dentist says it's nothing to worry about and just make sure to floss more regularly to prevent anything from getting caught. The #13 is perfect. I barely notice either any more.

11/17/2022 8:13:15 AM

Great!

11/17/2022 2:50:41 PM

Not mortifying but definitely pisses me off and makes me feel old as shit. I have arthritis in my little fucking finger.

11/17/2022 8:53:37 PM

11/17/2022 8:55:50 PM

I would do colonoscopy again no sweat before I ever do a flexible sigmoidoscopy again. You are fully awake for that shit and it is uncomfortable as balls. My gastro doc also doesn’t have the best bedside manner cause he’s sitting there basically calling me a pussy and saying the inside of your colon doesn’t have pain receptors and I’m like you’re clipping parts of me off with a tube shoved up my ass I think I’m okay to say this shit doesn’t feel good

11/17/2022 9:04:01 PM

Has my first MRI ever. 2 years ago I noticed I had trouble recalling the names of people I worked with (but could describe every other detail about them). Had an mri and 6 hours of cognitive tests (puzzle and stuff like that) only to find out I’m top 1% cognitive function and memory for ppl my age, no detectable memory issues (although I know I goofed some stuff I ordinarily wouldn’t have) in the absence of a baseline.

Kinda sucks knowing that I’m dumber than I used to be, but doctors don’t care

11/17/2022 10:14:47 PM

Quote :

" thankfully, neither required a root canal. They fit and function like normal teeth and i have no hesitancy with eating or chewing. My guilty pleasure are gummy bears or SPK's and i don't think twice."

Had a root canal last year and had a crown last week. So far the root canal was far more pain free. Still on the temporary crown and it’s causing a lot of pain

11/17/2022 10:16:30 PM

rolled a UTV over the holiday and I hurt everywhere

I just can't get into auto accidents like I used to

11/29/2022 12:13:50 PM