Lately

Or ever

4/29/2020 6:50:56 PM

“Unfortunately the entire company has been furloughed except for one person. They will be handling everything the entire team was handling. So things will be slower.”

Oh ok thanks.

4/29/2020 7:34:27 PM

We have a new director who is ex special forces, and he's been talking about some of his adventures. They are pretty eye-opening, especially from his time in the first Iraq war.

4/29/2020 7:58:59 PM

Damn that would be very interesting

[Edited on April 29, 2020 at 8:03 PM. Reason : Ask him how much truth there in how Generation Kill portrays the Iraq war plz]

4/29/2020 8:01:13 PM

Do you think he's a pathological liar like Chris Kyle was?

4/29/2020 8:03:30 PM

I used to work in big Pharma in Germany. Sometimes we would have conference calls with ppl in California, and due to the time difference it would have to be really early in cali. I once had a call with a lady, who was very high up in the company, that was in drive through at Starbucks. All of a sudden, she said "what the fuck is this shit?" and ended the call. We went nuts in Germany for the next couple of minutes trying to figure out what she meant. She then called back to clarify that somebody at Starbucks gave her the wrong order.

4/29/2020 8:07:35 PM

The time pizza father said nigger and lost his company

4/29/2020 8:11:23 PM

Quote :

"We have a new director who is ex special forces, and he's been talking about some of his adventures. They are pretty eye-opening, especially from his time in the first Iraq war"

My bro in law is a marine that was a staff sergeant in Afghanistan. He also has some crazy stories involving the seals and the CIA.

4/29/2020 8:13:51 PM

mine are pretty boring. mostly just dogs barking. birds chirping when the weather's nice and folks are working from their porches.

4/29/2020 8:47:03 PM

Yeah I'm walking around outside on some of mine and I'm sure the birds are loud AF

4/29/2020 9:04:34 PM

I can't imagine setting aside the time for a conference call that wouldn't require me to be in front of a computer or a desk to jot shit down. If I could just chat with somebody while on a stroll, then I'd feel like I just didn't prep myself enough for it.

[Edited on April 29, 2020 at 10:40 PM. Reason : a]

4/29/2020 10:39:28 PM

most of the meetings and conference calls my company has are totally worthless. they're mostly just to check boxes for requirements from some procedure or initiative that came from the corporate mothership.

[Edited on April 29, 2020 at 10:44 PM. Reason : fdsa]

4/29/2020 10:42:14 PM

Lady's kids crying incessantly, falling off the couch and hitting their head on the coffee table, and asking for a glass of chocolate milk.

4/30/2020 9:13:13 AM

i never realized how many people hate being around their kids until all these conference calls

4/30/2020 12:08:47 PM

^ speaking from experience, kids tend to demand all of your time and it's like you never catch a break as a parent. It is nearly impossible to get some private time to make a conference call while your kids are still awake. They'll come into your office with their loud ass toys and then start banging on the door if you shut it and are on a call. It's just the hard life of a parent. I am sure that they don't hate them.

My son was just like that. If I had an important business call, or interview that I needed to make, I would just try my best to see if he could stay at a friend's house for a bit or something.

[Edited on April 30, 2020 at 2:13 PM. Reason : a]

4/30/2020 2:11:34 PM

^

4/30/2020 3:30:02 PM

I was on a telephone interview once when my son just burst into the room screaming "papa, I have to make a poopoo!" So I said "ahh... excuse me, go ask Mama please." Then my son said "No because she is in there making a poopoo."

The guy on the other end was a director of the company and was nice enough to let me call him back in 10 minutes.

4/30/2020 3:40:58 PM

The second craziest shit was this co-worker who took one right in the middle of his living room.

The craziest was the guy that ate a steaming pile of his dog's turd, waited for it to digest, then shit it out of himself. He finally spread that shit all over the wall behind his webcam, spelling out "Fuck you Hal..." (our boss) "I quit". Hal was NOT amused.

4/30/2020 8:06:27 PM

Ripped a loud burp on a conference call today thinking I was on mute.

I was not.

And only 2 other people on the call and they were talking.

5/1/2020 2:57:37 PM

Snoring

3/20/2021 12:16:32 PM

Best thing wasn't heard, but seen. Coworker's sister had a baby, so coworker was helping watch their 7 year old and their dog. During the meeting the kid kept asking for shit, so she put herself on mute. Five minutes later, while the boss is droning on about how to code telework, I see her turn to the side, throw up her hands to protect herself, and then get knocked the fuck over by what looked like a fucking grizzly bear leaping into frame.

Of course, it was just the sister's big-assed dog wanting attention, but me laughing at it ground the meeting to a halt.

3/22/2021 8:30:13 AM