Post business phrases that annoy you.

"Can we get a gut check on that?"

11/17/2016 3:46:50 PM

Let's stack hands

We can take this off line

High level overview.

This is table stakes.

Let's circle back

11/17/2016 3:51:48 PM

In full transparency....

11/17/2016 3:58:43 PM

Quote :

"I'll ping him"

11/17/2016 3:59:13 PM

I'll reach out to...

Let's park that for now.

I've got some additional bandwith

What's the ask?

11/17/2016 4:03:57 PM

Please advise

11/17/2016 4:11:28 PM

Synergy

Turn two (Maybe turn to.. not sure)

11/17/2016 4:40:31 PM

This is outside his wheelhouse

11/17/2016 4:47:57 PM

So we're all annoyed at idiomatic phrases in general, or is it proximity to cubicles that make them annoying?

11/17/2016 4:58:37 PM

Let me download on you

11/17/2016 5:18:42 PM

SWOT analysis

11/17/2016 6:05:56 PM

Do the needful

11/17/2016 6:18:12 PM

^^^The worst!

^LOL

11/17/2016 7:22:31 PM

Kindly revert and do the needful

11/17/2016 7:24:43 PM

"It's almost Friday." < If I ask someone how they are and I get this response, it sends me through the roof.

"Please advise."

"Can you chase him?"

Anytime the word "critical" is used to describe something that objectively falls outside of the scope of the definition for "critical," whether that's the dictionary definition or a legal definition in the context of a company contract.

"What are the next steps?" < This one ESPECIALLY infuriates me when it's asked about something that has only one step. Example: "What are the next steps to get them to go-live?" Answer: "Fix the fucking defects. There are no other steps. We fix the defects and they go live."

I'll have more at another time.

[Edited on November 17, 2016 at 7:28 PM. Reason : asdf]

11/17/2016 7:28:29 PM

"We need to get some traction on this issue"

"Does anyone know the current temperature of the client?"

"Level-set"

Oh, and

"Do the needful"

11/17/2016 7:40:57 PM

the shit is "the needful"?

11/17/2016 7:45:41 PM

"the same"

11/17/2016 7:49:17 PM

Do you have any free cycles to spare?

This might push the schedule right

Let's get everyone together and do a deep dive

11/17/2016 7:49:24 PM

^I found out what "push right" and "push left" means. It's from the military if I'm not mistaken. Actually makes a ton of sense.

The "needfull" thing royally pisses me off.

11/17/2016 9:38:51 PM

Quote :

"the shit is "the needful"?"

A fairly common Indian (call center, not casino) phrase for "do what needs to be done."

If I didn't like my job I compile of list of the phrases here and use them as much as possible, every day, with combos for my least favorite people.

[Edited on November 17, 2016 at 9:46 PM. Reason : clarity]

11/17/2016 9:44:06 PM

low hanging fruit

11/17/2016 10:10:19 PM

Can I get fries with that?

11/17/2016 10:13:29 PM

Quote :

""What are the next steps?" < This one ESPECIALLY infuriates me when it's asked about something that has only one step"

This is how I end conference calls, it's a good way to lead in to a recap what was discussed and get a clear list of the actual tasks that need to be done, gives people an opportunity to speak up if anything was missed.

11/17/2016 10:21:52 PM

would you like to sign up for a credit card and get 5% off your 13$ purchase today

11/17/2016 10:24:32 PM

Quote :

"the shit is "the needful"?"

Yeah I had never heard this one before either.

11/17/2016 11:34:43 PM

Storming and Norming

Crucial Converation ®

3/1/2017 2:22:28 PM

Quote :

"^I found out what "push right" and "push left" means. It's from the military if I'm not mistaken. Actually makes a ton of sense."

does pushing the schedule right not mean that its going to extend or delay the schedule (i.e. the gantt chart shifts)?

I've heard this phrase and assumed that's what it meant but now i'm curious about the military meaning

3/1/2017 2:26:52 PM

"level set"

3/1/2017 2:46:22 PM

"low hanging fruit" is the fucking worst

also my boss likes to say "spreading the peanut butter" in reference to product updates and selling them.

3/1/2017 3:05:26 PM

touch base

risk assesment

lets have a follow up call

auditors are here today

kudos

nickel tour

business as usual

3/1/2017 4:47:28 PM

At least they say business as usual, I get b-a-u

3/1/2017 5:45:39 PM

E-commerce

3/1/2017 5:56:02 PM

align on our end

3/1/2017 6:48:16 PM

High visibility

3/2/2017 1:33:36 AM

haha I just used low hanging fruit today. ( in R&D)

3/2/2017 6:16:49 PM

close the loop
circle the square
30,000' view
value-add
ROI or ROTI



I have to admit that I am guilty of many of these, just by virtue of being a person who works in a business

3/3/2017 8:25:07 AM

Suboptimization

3/3/2017 8:30:46 AM

Can we get a plus/delta?

3/7/2017 11:50:22 AM

impact

(especially as a verb)

3/7/2017 3:50:31 PM

I immediately want to rage quit Outlook every fucking time I see "please advise" at the end of an email. And it's VERY often. And it's always from a know-it-all, "thinks their time is more important than yours", idiot.

3/7/2017 9:25:07 PM

spitballing (brainstorming).

"John and I were spitballing earlier and came up with a great idea"

this has to be the worst one I've encountered so far. my boss must have read the term in a book because shes' using it really frequently now

3/29/2017 10:59:35 AM

I hate when I hear "how was your weekend?" or "good morning".... ughh... Leave me the f alone.

3/29/2017 1:09:31 PM

innovation

3/29/2017 1:14:11 PM

"Spitballing" isn't jargon, and it isn't the same as brainstorming. You individually might be spitballing during brainstorming, but they aren't the same.

Also, colangus: get over/go fuck yourself. You being annoyed by people saying good morning to you is not a gripe about jargon, no one cares, take it to the workplace annoyances thread, or better yet just shove it directly up your ass and die.

3/29/2017 2:38:21 PM

"what's the ask?"

3/29/2017 8:38:38 PM

pain point

3/29/2017 8:57:33 PM

Quote :

"Also, colangus: get over/go fuck yourself. You being annoyed by people saying good morning to you is not a gripe about jargon, no one cares, take it to the workplace annoyances thread, or better yet just shove it directly up your ass and die."

Ehh... that was a joke. I was kinda saying some of the responses were just normal ways of communicating.

3/29/2017 11:38:45 PM

improvment/safety/cleanliness standards. At my place, they're

kaizen, 5S, MMOL

[Edited on March 30, 2017 at 11:48 AM. Reason : I suppose it's not "jargon" but I hate talking about that crap]

3/30/2017 11:46:16 AM

Quote :

"does pushing the schedule right not mean that its going to extend or delay the schedule (i.e. the gantt chart shifts)? I've heard this phrase and assumed that's what it meant but now i'm curious about the military meaning"

If what I remember is true, it's like when you look at a calendar. To the right is in the future, to the left is in the past. So pushing left means bring it up and push it right means delay it.

3/30/2017 1:23:11 PM