So the wife and I have a 6 month old that for the past 3 months family has been watching the baby. Unfortunately, that's going to have to change.

My mom says she hurt her back and can't watch the kid for the Mondays that she's been watching her.
Her mom and dad are moving to Seattle at the end of July/Early August.

My wife also might be starting a new job at the beginning of August that should free her up for 1-2 days of childcare a week. Here's hoping that interview goes well.

We live in Cary, but I work in downtown Raleigh and she works in Durham/Chapel Hill.

My question is, is what do you guys do for child care? What recommendations do you have? How the fuck do you afford these crazy costs?

6/11/2013 4:14:28 PM

We have three kids currently aged 8, 6, and 4. Over the course of the past 8 or so years we have done several things. At times, while my employment was good, she just stayed home. For a while she was a nanny herself. But most of the time she just went to work for one of the day cares in the area and would get a big discount on the tuition. Plus the kids were right there in the same building so she could see them pretty much whenever, or be there if something happened.

But if you're not doing one of those options, child care is pretty much another mortgage/rent payment out of your check

6/11/2013 4:33:05 PM

my strategy: eliminate expenditures so that one of you doesn't have to work

6/11/2013 4:39:06 PM

we pay one of the wife's friends who has 3 kids and stays home 100 bucks a week to watch our 13 month old. of course the wife doesn't go into work until 12 and I generally get out of work around 3, so she isn't there a super long time.

6/11/2013 5:40:11 PM

As someone who'd be teaching hs otherwise, it's just cheaper for me to just stay at home until they're in school.

6/11/2013 5:41:23 PM

I'm going to add this to my topics to remind me to stick to my plan of no kids until at least 40

6/11/2013 6:30:45 PM

^^how's that? I teach HS and it's definitely worth my while to work.

6/11/2013 8:56:46 PM

^
I dunno...my adviser's got 3 kids, and he's said something similar to ^^^. His wife could easily get a job as a lecturer at our university, but child-care would eat up her whole paycheck so it's almost as profitable (and more fun, I suppose) for her to just watch the kids.

6/11/2013 9:34:33 PM

So cheaper was a poor choice of words. With the high cost of childcare, it's more valuable that I stay at home considering what I would make at my chosen profession.

12 month salary for an ILT is what like $2,500 gross not net, but let's pretend that's all take home money in my pocket.
Good childcare is like $800 per kid. I have 2 kids.
That leaves me with $900. But then you have to factor in the material costs of working: business casual attire, supplies, gas, etc. It's nothing scary, but it's a cost. When you combine that with the non-material cost of working like lost time with my children not only during the day, but also at night because we all know how much work teachers bring home. And also weighing against the convenience of having someone at home to manage appointments, groceries, bills, and other domestic duties... It's not worth it to us. But that really depends on the value that you place on those types of things. We can figure out how to live for a few years without the extra <$1000 a month we'd have if I worked.

6/11/2013 10:10:13 PM

We're in the same boat with my (former) paralegal salary. Not to mention what we could have afforded was a less than desirable option. One place I toured smelled worse than the vet's office (IMO).

6/11/2013 10:20:45 PM

^^but as a teacher you have about two months off over the summer, maybe some needs for work days at end of year or beginning of the year, right? So instead of 1600*12, it would be 1600*10?

I'm guessing you thought about that, but... I'm curious. Or was your pay based on only months school is in session? I know some places give an option to spread over 12 months or do it during school months.

[Edited on June 11, 2013 at 11:27 PM. Reason : nvm, i see you figured annual]

6/11/2013 11:21:27 PM

I'd be different I'd we needed that money to make ends meet. Every little bit helps at that point, but we could make it on just his pay and that extra money just didn't seem like enough incentive to leave the kids.

[Edited on June 11, 2013 at 11:34 PM. Reason : .]

6/11/2013 11:31:51 PM

i'm not in the triangle, but i thought i'd throw in my info as well. i'm in rocky mount, so costs here are typically a lot lower than up there. i pay $131/week for a 10 month old at daycare. it'll drop to $126 when she moves to the 1 year old room. she freaking LOVES daycare & her teachers, & is really happy to get there every day. thankfully.

as far as how to choose one, start with online reviews & stuff. being in RM, online reviews were nonexistent unfortunately. i'm sure that's not the case where you are though. we used some word of mouth recommendations, just dropped by several places unannounced, & asked for info & a tour. there are checklists online for what to look for & what to ask when you tour the place. we got one from the downeast partnership for children though.

so idk if any of that was helpful. *shrug*

6/12/2013 8:58:03 AM

I can recommend good daycares in Cary if you want but since we pay like 2200 a month for two kids I'm not sure that's the solution you're looking for.

Jesus christ I can't wait for my kid to start kindergarten in August.

6/12/2013 10:15:08 AM

Whew. That's a lot of cash.
When I looked in to a few places, the one I mentioned above that smelled bad was $200 per week for an 18 month old for just 3 days a week. It would've gone down as he got older.

However, preschool is a sweet deal. The one ours will start in the fall is $135/month. Zang!

I saw wife's post on fb as well...i'm not sure where they did, but a family I nannied for always had great success finding childcare through the area colleges. I'd also look in to a sahm or at home daycare. Meg sent me a great link when I was researching preschools regarding licensure. Let me pull that from my inbox...

http://ncchildcare.dhhs.state.nc.us/general/home.asp

[Edited on June 12, 2013 at 10:29 AM. Reason : ]

6/12/2013 10:29:13 AM

I left my job 3 years ago to become a stay-at-home dad (we're also in Cary). The cost of childcare was a factor, especially since my entire paycheck would have gone to cover a decent 9-5 daycare around here.

Before making that decision, my wife and I were trying to see if there was a way that we could both work flex schedules so that one of us could have a day off every day, and maybe lean on a nanny or family member for the odd day out. In the end her industry took off and mine tanked (this was 2010 and I worked in the A/E/C field, she was in medical software).

P.s. If any dads on here in the Cary/Raleigh area are also home during the day (working or not) and need a place to socialize while the spouse is out, hit me up, I run a fairly large and active at-home dads meetup/playgroup.

6/12/2013 2:33:13 PM

My son goes to daycare in Henderson where my wife works. It is $555 a month which is cheap compared to other places but still a lot of money. Hoping to eventually make enough so my wife can stay at home but so far it is not cost effective. Will likely revisit with kid #2.

6/12/2013 4:32:45 PM

make friends with nurses....


all of the doctors at my hospital and even other nurses recruit the "other" nurses to watch their children. nurses have the added advantage of potentially only working 3 days a week and have extremely flexible schedules. And most seem to be at least semi-responsible females which is all the rage in child care

6/12/2013 7:23:01 PM

Or you could do a nanny share. Find someone else with a kid the same age as yours and hire a nanny together.

6/12/2013 10:57:27 PM

$248 a week in Charlotte. And we went with the cheap one.

6/13/2013 4:18:43 PM

vasectomy costs less than 1 month of childcare

6/13/2013 7:57:46 PM

I pay a nanny in brier creek area. If you need something short term or something, maybe we could help?

We were paying 195 infant, 165 discount toddler in an in home daycare. We cannot afford a center or a bigger in home daycare. Our only other option was to go in durham and try to find a church which would have been very inconvient. In home daycare prices vary big time. We were VERY happy with ours (for 2.5 years) but she moved.

We ended up hiring the person that was watching the daycare when our original person went on maternity leave. We pay her a flat 1500 a month (after taxes) and let her off early awhile. We offered some paid time off. (18 her choice days a year on top of whatever vacation we decide to take she will be paid for)

Right now, that is the max we can afford. We pretty much have scrapped everything. No cable, no eating out, nothing. It really has put a strain on us. We are going to end up selling our house and moving into a cheaper living situation.

We have an almost 3 year old(September) and a little girl that will be 1 on Thursday.

6/16/2013 10:42:31 AM

Quote :

"vasectomy costs less than 1 month of childcare"

Fuck yes it does, mine was just the cost of a specialist copay.

But having kids has been worth it, my kids are awesome and I owe a lot of their development to the daycare they've been at.

[Edited on June 17, 2013 at 10:39 AM. Reason : .]

6/17/2013 10:31:50 AM

I will be available full time starting at the end of August! My current family will have the kids in school full time with afterschool activities four days a week.

6/17/2013 7:05:26 PM

Ours is 800/month in Raleigh for a 3 yr old. (Children's Development Center) We were using family part time until she was 2.

It is well worth the cost since they are open 7-6 and very convenient. Obviously every situation is unique, but we didn't want to miss out on valuable work years, even if the net income is marginal. We also wanted our daughter to get the social interaction at the school (it definitely made a difference in potty training once she was in that classroom).

Working in the public sector, service time is very important, and it could be difficult to get back into the workforce at a later date, not to mention the promotional/technological opportunities missed.

Of course the cost of having to pay for spouse insurance (500/month for us) is certainly a big factor too.

[Edited on June 18, 2013 at 11:50 AM. Reason : ]

6/18/2013 11:47:22 AM

If you're looking at hiring someone to watch your children in your home, elise is absolutely fabulous. That's actually how we met and became such good friends. She took care of my son when a mutual friend didn't follow through and then got us involved in the Mom's Morning Out program that she was working for. I actually think that she does a much better job with my son than I do.

6/18/2013 10:25:08 PM

thank you.

6/21/2013 10:19:54 AM

Quote :

"my strategy: eliminate expenditures so that one of you doesn't have to work"

This is what I did. I liked it, but she hated it. Caused lots of problems in the relationship. What I hated the most is that I immediately became the fall guy to all of her problems because she was the one taking care of the kid.

6/21/2013 2:29:05 PM

wait... so she is staying at home and gets to spend time with the kid, and she bitches at YOU?

jesus dude.

6/22/2013 4:18:40 PM

only two more months of daycare payments, and my daughter starts kindergarten.

it'll be like a $950/month raise!

6/22/2013 5:26:19 PM