I'm just wondering what phrases and tricks you guys use to get your foot in the door.

I just enjoy exploring and sometimes have to get past nosy employees and aboriginees.

"location scout" seems to work okay most of the time. it's vague and universal.

"talent agent" is an old classic for use on whory girls. (not my style)

I really really hate being asked questions: i wish I could turn off all the people sometimes.

ITT: poast your sneaky stories in the form of I know a guy who... feel free to include stuff you've read about as long as it's non-fiction.

11/8/2012 3:29:20 PM

a guy i know has used fake credentials on lanyard and claimed to work for CMT to get backstage access at a lot of events.

the lanyard is always crucial. event staff bow down to the lanyard

11/8/2012 3:37:06 PM

what is lanyard? is that a music industry equipment manufacturer or something?

11/8/2012 4:01:06 PM

ohh the thing that holds your job ID. lol i get it now.

11/8/2012 4:02:41 PM

Chief Janitorial Officer (CJO)

11/8/2012 4:25:21 PM

^Don't say janitor unless you wanna be a dick about it. I prefer Master of the Custodial Arts.

11/8/2012 4:29:15 PM

I just don't have a shitty life

That seems to work

11/8/2012 4:30:07 PM

I'm not quite sure I understand the full intent of this thread

11/8/2012 4:45:12 PM

All I see when I look at this thread title is:

Quote :

"FAKE TITTIES"

11/8/2012 5:13:49 PM

new media marketer

local professional networking community advocate

deworming agent agent

11/8/2012 5:18:33 PM

^^that's what I saw too

[Edited on November 8, 2012 at 5:20 PM. Reason : ]

11/8/2012 5:19:58 PM

Not sure about fake titles, but when I was 25 my Bayer business card read "Lead Scientist". I used to flash that shit to bitches and tell them I lead a group of geneticists working on a cure for Cancer. In reality, I was making $30k a year working in their crop science division on drought resistance........and I was nowhere near "leader" status.

[Edited on November 8, 2012 at 5:30 PM. Reason : a]

11/8/2012 5:29:09 PM

the purpose if this thread is to feed me information on how to be sneaky. i always try to maximize my skills.

one thing ive learned from doing business in China is honesty is for suckers. If you lie hard enough and long enough, even suspicious people will get tired of suspecting you and begin to act as though you are for real.

on the shitty life comment: do you like having armies of MBA's design every aspect of your life to fuck you as much as possible without arousing your ire?

I like to fuck back.

11/8/2012 6:08:13 PM

From when I worked at a bar: Outerwear Intake Engineer aka Coat Check Girl

11/9/2012 8:55:54 AM

^^^lol i was hoping you were going to say you installed lead doors or something

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

11/9/2012 9:14:45 AM

All I see when I look at this thread title is:

Quote :

"FAKE TITTIES"

11/9/2012 10:00:14 AM

^"fake job titties" for me....

11/9/2012 10:02:09 AM

Employment acquisition specialist

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

11/9/2012 10:03:37 AM

this farmer we work with is adamant that we call him an "agricultural engineer"

11/9/2012 10:36:23 AM

MinkaGrl01
TWW <3 crew

I mean come on!

[Edited on November 9, 2012 at 10:47 AM. Reason : no hearts for you]

11/9/2012 10:47:10 AM

Quote :

"I just don't have a shitty life That seems to work"

11/9/2012 11:29:04 AM

When a buddy and I used to prowl around parties and bars, we would introduce ourselves as either astronauts or counter terrorist agents (think Jack Beur). Usually tongue in cheek, but the dumb ones would believe.

11/9/2012 11:33:17 AM

Quote :

"this farmer we work with is adamant that we call him an "agricultural engineer"

That's a real thing. We even have agricultural engineering at State. Maybe he prefers that because that is actually his title?

11/9/2012 11:45:17 AM

Quote :

"the lanyard is always crucial. event staff bow down to the lanyard"

TRUE DAT

11/11/2012 7:09:54 AM

New Media Coordinator

11/12/2012 3:56:16 PM

CEO of shitty chinese laundromats that dont exist incorporated?

11/12/2012 4:24:18 PM

During a job interview I interviewed with this guy whose title was Senior Inventor. I thought that was pretty fucking cool.

11/12/2012 4:40:59 PM

IBM has a "Master Inventor" title

11/12/2012 4:57:06 PM

Quote :

"what is lanyard? is that a music industry equipment manufacturer or something?"

I always confuse that with "halyard" (similar idea, larger scale)

11/12/2012 8:15:19 PM

^senior fluffer

11/12/2012 9:14:50 PM

Sandwich Artist
(though that's what they really called us at Subway)

11/13/2012 10:08:00 AM

^thats really insulting to a submarine engineer

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

11/13/2012 10:20:29 AM

I'm kinda happy with my real title...I'm an evisceration supervisor

11/13/2012 1:23:46 PM

On paper I'm both the Office Administrator and IT Administrator for our branch in addition to my actual title.

If we need to order supplies or the server crashes you come to me.

11/14/2012 11:38:18 PM

Just say whatever crappy job you have and then mention you're working on your part time MBA.

11/15/2012 4:41:19 AM

I briefly worked at a small company where the IT guy's title was 'Director of Information Technology'. He was the only IT guy. He did desktop break/fix. All the other IT stuff was remotely outsourced.

11/15/2012 8:42:52 AM