Going to a black tie wedding next weekend and have a few tux questions. First, I bought a tux about 4/5 years ago for my sister's wedding. I was a broke law student, so I used one of those Jos. A Banks deals and got the whole kit for like $200something. Jacket/pants/shirt/shoes/bowtie/cufflinks/buttonthingees/cummerbund.

This will only be the second time I've worn it, so I broke it out the other day worried how well it would fit. Fortunately, unlike all over Jos. A Banks shit I've bought, it still fits really well. But I do have some questions:

1. Do people still wear cummerbunds? I know it's the classic look and all, but I'd like to do without. However, I have those buttons that match the cufflinks, but they are only for the top 4 buttons. The cummerbund covers the bottom 2 or 3 white buttons that don't have the fancy/shiny buttons. If I don't wear a cummerbund, I'm assuming I'll have to get a couple extra fancy buttons so they all match.

2. The bow tie is one of those that is already tied and it just hooks together. How noticeable is that and will I come off as a 12-year old with a clip-on tie if I still use it? Do I need to go get a "real" bowtie?

3. If I do get a real bowtie, do I get a matching handkerchief? I think I was told that if you do the matching tie/handkerchief, that you get rid of the cummerbund.

I feel like there were some more questions. I hate tuxes, but obviously its a necessity for this event and I'd like to look sharp. What say you?

4/13/2012 11:49:35 AM

(1) They are coming back from what I am told. I am wearing one for my wedding in June after some outside counseling. (I picture middle school band kids when I think of cumberbuns, but vests are less popular now apparently)

(2) Its not a terrible thing, but its obvious/100% noticeable, its just a decision you have to make. I love the look of the tied version, I just hate tying them.

(3) I have no idea, but don't think its a requirement

4/13/2012 12:07:45 PM

- I think cumberbuns were originally used because you aren't supposed to use a belt with tux trousers? I don't think there is any problem wearing it. Even if you didn't wear one do you really have to use the fancy button things? Will people really notice/care if you just use the regular buttons on the shirt?

- Have you tied a bow tie before? I never have but I've always been able to tell the people who weren't quite good at it because theirs look kinda rugged/loose/not good. I guess maybe it's just something that takes practice? I don't think anyone would care if you used the hook one. It isn't necessarily noticeable unless it is crooked.

4/13/2012 12:16:50 PM

http://www.duchessclothier.com/blogs/the-minutiae-of-black-tie-etiquette

4/13/2012 12:33:10 PM

Weren't they originally for ticket stubs or crumbs?

4/13/2012 12:43:51 PM

Quote :

"Will people really notice/care if you just use the regular buttons on the shirt?"

I wish I had the regular buttons for the top slots...but all I have is the three or four regular buttons that are already on the shirt...and the fancy fill-ins. I don't have the options of regular buttons for the top 4 slots.

4/13/2012 12:43:59 PM

Based on how I read the first post, you're attending, but not in the wedding, right? Just wear it how it was designed to be worn (except maybe get a real tie). No one's going to care/notice the rest. Since it fits well, you'll have a leg up on a lot of the other men there, probably.

[Edited on April 13, 2012 at 3:41 PM. Reason : .]

4/13/2012 3:40:27 PM

Cummerbunds are still fine, though I think they're more appropriate when you have a pattern bowtie to match. Otherwise you can opt out entirely, or try braces/suspenders and a real bowtie (if you can teach yourself to tie it. takes about 30 minutes to get down, but quite a few more times to really perfect). It's kind of a dope look under the jacket.

Also, if you are concerned about the buttons, i would just got cop a new pique bib shirt. I say pique because it avoids the pleat bib, which I find aesthetically tacky even though I still own one. I never wear it anymore. I probably wear my tux 2-3 times a year, (BB Fitzgerald cut). But the pique formal shirt, starched, is classic and timeless. Invest in the classic/simple studs/cuffs and you're good for life.

If you really want to go all in, go for the detachable wing collar. But that sounds like it would be overkill here.

Since you're both in warmer weather and presumably not in the wedding party, you could always go nuts and get a white dinner jacket to rock. I think they look so great, and I rarely have occasion to wear one. One day I intend to pick one up with a really ostentatious liner. It will be dope.

[Edited on April 15, 2012 at 12:59 PM. Reason : .]

4/15/2012 12:58:56 PM

James Bond always wore a cummerbund.

Haters can go fuck they selves.

4/15/2012 1:08:37 PM

perhaps i should say not "more appropriate" but more required.

can't really fuck up a cummerbund and bowtie for donning a tux.

4/15/2012 1:33:37 PM

Ditch the cummerbund, buy a new shirt, get a real bow tie. Bow tie isn't mandatory though. You can wear a regular black tie, just make sure the width of it matches the width and material of your lapels (i.e. satin lapels = wear a satin tie).

4/15/2012 1:47:22 PM

^good point on the lapels/material, though I never really think about that because i dont ever wear a regular tie out of personal preference.

4/15/2012 1:49:30 PM

I'm going to take the whole tux down to the mens store today at lunch and try a bunch of shit out. Have a feeling I'll just be keeping the pants and jackets from this set and supplementing in several of these suggestions. Thanks.

4/16/2012 7:18:07 AM

If you don't go Vest, you should go cummerbund. Wear the Studs ("buttonthingees") and wear cufflinks.

Quote :

"Will people really notice/care if you just use the regular buttons on the shirt?"

Yes, people will notice. Whether or not you give a fuck is another argument.

If you go colored bow tie, which can be fashionable, you need a matching Pocket square ("handkerchief") and they should both compliment (not necessarily match) the vest or cummerbund. (the bow tie and pocket square should match)

Keep in mind that you don't want to match or out dress the wedding party... so, I would go black bow tie and black vest. Tie your own tie if you can make it look good... if not, go with the pre-tied clip on. People can tell, but they can tell more if you suck and tying the real one.

Quote :

"Since it fits well, you'll have a leg up on a lot of the other men there, probably."

This is unbelievably true. There's nothing more obvious as when a guy has a suit on that he hasn't worn since high school.

[Edited on April 16, 2012 at 9:18 AM. Reason : .]

4/16/2012 9:17:42 AM

Quote :

"If you go colored bow tie, which can be fashionable, you need a matching Pocket square"

ehhhh, i wouldn't go so far as to say need.

and you can always get away with a white linen or cotton handkerchief no matter what you wear.

i've always considered the addition of a pocket square to be sort of personal preference. i tend to wear them more casually or to make a suit more formal when black tie isn't appropriate.

4/16/2012 9:26:21 AM

Damn...you can't find a vest anywhere these days.

Looks like I'm stuck with the cummerbund.

Got a new Tuxedo shirt though...looks a lot better and fits better than the ruffle one I had.

4/17/2012 12:10:01 PM