The ex is causing all colors of grief for me. Spreading rumors, sabotaging relationships, interferring at my workplace, etc. While she isnt the type to do some seriously fucked up stuff or cause property damage or anything, she is starting to seriously compromise certain parts of my life. The trouble she is causing is for her own (sick) enjoyment.

I need the shit to stop.

She was a bit of a camera whore during our relationship. To the effect of 5 or 6 gigs worth of photos that she would not want leaked.

So...what to do? I have some ideas myself, but I need some better guidelines. This is about the only bargaining chip I have at this point. Im not looking to gain anything from this, except some peace of mind.

Ok...go!

3/9/2009 3:32:57 PM

better send those pictures out to the wolf web so we can better asses your situation.

3/9/2009 3:37:03 PM

^second

and

Quote :

"asses"

3/9/2009 3:37:27 PM

3/9/2009 3:37:39 PM

thirded

3/9/2009 3:45:16 PM

4TH - keep us abreast of the situation

3/9/2009 3:55:32 PM

this has epic potential

3/9/2009 4:00:10 PM

I'm assuming you've already tried being civil and politely asking her to stop?

3/9/2009 4:09:33 PM

I'm also going to suggest that this be moved to chit chat.

3/9/2009 4:14:37 PM

Before it's moved:

Assuming you haven't asked her to stop, do so.
If you have, just remind her that everyone's behavior has consequences - both present and past. Do not threaten her. Simply say "Remember how much you liked having pictures taken?"

What kind of trouble is she causing at work?

3/9/2009 4:21:02 PM

needs more details.

3/9/2009 4:21:53 PM

police

3/9/2009 4:25:08 PM

Don't sink to her level. Take the high road. Send her a certified notarized signed letter that you no longer wish to have any contact with her and that the harassment needs to stop. Then the post office will send you back a receipt that she in fact was the person who received this letter. She will know you're serious and if it still persists then you can take her to court and you will have solid evidence that you tried to get her to stop and she ignored it.

[Edited on March 9, 2009 at 4:37 PM. Reason : .]

3/9/2009 4:30:17 PM

No, post nudes.

3/9/2009 4:32:23 PM

^^You forgot some words in there...like certified

3/9/2009 4:33:47 PM

Quote :

"interferring at my workplace"

this would incur the wrath of Shiva a thousand times over


and

Quote :

"this has epic potential"

yes - plz to post pics here

3/9/2009 4:43:53 PM

you can sue her for the tort of defamation by libel if it is written or slander if it is said to a third party and is 1) untrue and 2) harmful

3/9/2009 4:55:07 PM

Quote :

"better send those pictures out to the wolf web "

There was no doubt in my mind this was to be the first response

Quote :

"I'm assuming you've already tried being civil and politely asking her to stop? "

Yes, I have been civil about the entire matter. Granted the break up went very badly and it was my fault that we ended. I did hurt her, possibly even to the point of "breaking her heart." But we are adults, the shit she is pulling is childish and is putting my livelihood in jeopardy.

Quote :

"If you have, just remind her that everyone's behavior has consequences - both present and past. Do not threaten her. Simply say "Remember how much you liked having pictures taken?" "

I like the wording on that. I may try using that to see what kind of response I receive.




and to feed the sharks....

Quote :

"this has epic potential"

Yes, yes it does

Especially considering the relatively small size of the town i live in. it would take very little effort on my part to make her quite "popular"

But dont worry tww, should it get to the point where these go online, yall will be the first with access...as long as we have an agreement to have these posted to every message board yall can think of. Hmm... her dad works at boeing. Im sure these would be a hit circulating around his office....

3/9/2009 5:21:06 PM

if you're gonna try revenge, make sure to cover your own ass and not do anything that could get you into legal trouble.

3/9/2009 5:31:34 PM

^

Which is why I chose the wording I did

3/9/2009 5:32:49 PM

Eh, if the photos are risque you can post a handful of the tamer ones on facebook just to remind her that you have them and don't have a problem sharing.

3/9/2009 5:35:45 PM

You need a certified letter or a lawyer's letter asking her to cease and desist. I would just ignore her because it is not worth the potential shit storm.

I speak from experience of a crazy ex.

If it would make you feel better post the pics here, but do not ever let them get to her father! or it will get nasty!! and cause you more problelms then it is worth. I.E. never let her know they were circulated.

3/9/2009 5:41:49 PM

i.e. pm everybody interested

3/9/2009 5:52:59 PM

Get a good lawyer and let him/her do all the talking. There are laws against defaming other people's character, take advantage of them. You tried being civil, and that didn't work. Do not stoop to her level; that's what the lawyer is for.

3/9/2009 6:01:46 PM

do what ambrosia said

it's the cheapest route and should get a result one way or the other fairly quickly

3/9/2009 6:42:34 PM

pics or it didn't happen

3/9/2009 7:02:46 PM

Lawyers are fucking expensive.

3/9/2009 9:31:52 PM

getting outta jail/court/misdemenors/felonies/and having a record is more expensive.

3/9/2009 10:12:20 PM

And you think that it's criminal to make pictures taken by a consenting adult of a consenting adult available?

[Edited on March 9, 2009 at 10:19 PM. Reason : as]

3/9/2009 10:13:34 PM

no, but he could be liable for damages--emotional distress and all that jazz

3/9/2009 10:19:17 PM

^no, the really good revenge

3/9/2009 10:19:22 PM

Quote :

"no, but he could be liable for damages--emotional distress and all that jazz"

That'd be seem a lot more plausible if she weren't actively trying to do worse

3/9/2009 10:20:11 PM

it won't matter

3/9/2009 10:27:43 PM

I know this might be waaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of the ball park. But truth be told - she probably still loves you; more than ever. I don't know what you did, or if it is "fixable." But shes putting up a hell of a fight for you. The only thing that is called is love. Have you thought about talking to her about the relationship? She might need some closure or have questions. She might need to just hear you say you're sorry.

As far as what shes doing - the only thing you should be concerned about is work. You can block emails/IMs/facebook. The rumors, the hell with those. Anybody who cares isn't worth a damn. Sabotaging relationships, uncalled for, but still approriate for the other person to ignore calls/block emails/etc.

I had someone call my work before and ask for my manager. I had an employee I was cool with take the call (with a heads up). The girl said I was looking for another job (I mean, really, who isn't?), and I got the "manager" to say thank you so much for letting him know, and will need to talk to me about giving me a raise to retain me. So then on my IM and Facebook I put messages of "wow, a random 15% raise on a monday, sweeeet"

Fight fire with fire.

3/9/2009 10:40:33 PM

Quote :

"I know this might be waaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of the ball park. But truth be told - she probably still loves you; more than ever. I don't know what you did, or if it is "fixable." But shes putting up a hell of a fight for you. The only thing that is called is love. Have you thought about talking to her about the relationship? She might need some closure or have questions. She might need to just hear you say you're sorry. "

That is only rewarding the behavior

^^While someone might be stupid enough to let a chick win on something like that, it doesn't make releasing the photos a criminal act; ergo, no criminal record as a consequence of such a suit.

3/9/2009 10:49:00 PM

Can someone site a legal blurb of where it says releasing the photos for the intention of embarassment would be okay?

3/9/2009 10:55:46 PM

I didn't say it was okay.

I'm saying it's not (criminally) illegal. She's an adult. She knew he was taking the pictures and continued to allow him to do so = consent. Since he took the pictures, the copyright is his, and he can do what he pleases with them (short of the usual legal stuff accompanying explicit photos, like putting them in the hands of minors, etc).

He would open himself up to civil issues, but not criminal ones, because making those photos available = publication, and then a model release comes into play, and that's when it'd be handy to be a lawyer because as I understand, that's a very fuzzy area that varies widely by location. But it's all civil.

3/9/2009 11:00:48 PM

I think you can post the pics as long as its not for harassment purposes.

3/10/2009 12:11:26 AM

Whoever said this was about love...are you crazy? You don't love someone by trying to destroy their life, even if they did you wrong. You just let the fucker walk and take the high road.

This isn't about love or wanting you genuinely back, this is about jealousy and control. If she's messing with your job, you need to get a lawyer, and potentially a restraining order if need be, on that shit stat. Also, this is how stalking and such starts- threats, interfering with your daily life, etc.

The cost of hiring a lawyer will probably be far, far cheaper than losing your job to all this junior-high bullshit.

3/10/2009 10:10:18 AM

iop1

3/10/2009 11:19:15 AM

this has gone on long enough - what's the decided action

3/10/2009 11:24:49 AM

Quote :

"She was a bit of a camera whore during our relationship. To the effect of 5 or 6 gigs worth of photos that she would not want leaked. "

that's your answer right there. Don't do it. The things you said she's doing aren't nearly as bad as posting something for the ENTIRE WORLD to see and ruin her life.

3/10/2009 12:02:36 PM

Quote :

"Yes, I have been civil about the entire matter. Granted the break up went very badly and it was my fault that we ended. I did hurt her, possibly even to the point of "breaking her heart." But we are adults, the shit she is pulling is childish and is putting my livelihood in jeopardy."

dont break someones heart then

3/10/2009 12:13:36 PM

Quote :

"The things you said she's doing aren't nearly as bad as posting something for the ENTIRE WORLD to see and ruin her life."

Quote :

"Spreading rumors, sabotaging relationships, interferring at my workplace, etc."

I'd like to know what exactly you consider bad then. Stealing campaign signs?

3/10/2009 12:34:36 PM

OH SNAP

3/10/2009 12:39:23 PM

Wow. I thought "OH SNAP" before I even read the next post.

3/10/2009 12:40:40 PM

CALLED OUT

[Edited on March 10, 2009 at 12:41 PM. Reason : although i don't think it'd ruin her life per say..maybe for a little while tho]

3/10/2009 12:40:53 PM

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2009/03/09/pn.sexting.suicide.cnn

3/10/2009 1:11:36 PM

WHERE ARE THE FUCKING PICS

3/10/2009 1:12:44 PM

set em up

3/10/2009 1:13:56 PM