Alrighty folks, I have a casual blind date set up for tomorrow night. I'm meeting this girl at a local chocolate/coffee shop. I talked to her on the phone for a bit earlier tonight and we seem to have a lot in common. I've never been on a blind date before though so I'm not quite sure what to expect. I've done a bit of facebook stalking and gotten a small thumbnail of her based off of her initial profile pic, and from what I can see she's pretty cute. So questions:

1) How do I treat this differently from a regular date?
2) Do I still buy the coffee/sweets/whatever for her (I'm thinking yes but I wanna make sure)?
3) What experience do you guys have with blind dates?

1/20/2009 8:34:43 PM

1-no
2-yes
3-good luck

1/20/2009 8:51:06 PM

1. The only way you treat it differently is that if she happens to be ugly, you still have to be courteous and act like you want to be there
2. At least offer to buy the coffee and shit...she might veto it
3. They are more or less like regular dates, although sometimes you are not at all attracted to the person, but have to see it through

1/20/2009 8:51:57 PM

^ that and don't mention NASA every 5 minutes

1/20/2009 8:52:24 PM

1-no
2-yes
3-i quite enjoy blind dates

1/20/2009 8:53:50 PM

Holy shit....I'm going on a blind date tomorrow night at a chocolate/coffee shop and I talked on the phone with the guy tonight too!

That's so weird...we're both having the same experience!

1/20/2009 8:53:51 PM

Good luck and have fun Darius.

1/20/2009 8:56:25 PM

^^but he said that she was cute

I don't think it'll be any different than a normal date, it's still about finding out what makes the person tick. You just get the added bonus of looks too

1/20/2009 8:58:21 PM

^^ make sure to dip the chocolate in coffee and then smear it all over your big knockers and then post pics on tww. make wraith pay, take pics, and post them here.

1/20/2009 8:58:29 PM

dude, you should poke her on facebook and then poke her tomorrow.

1/20/2009 8:58:31 PM

i think blind dates aren't thaaat much different that first dates- you are still trying to figure out more about that person and see what you have in common

since you've already done the facebook stuff and talked to her on the phone, it probably won't be much more different than a typical first date (you have an idea of what she looks like and if there can be a physical attraction, which despite what alot of people try to say is a huge part early in a relationship)

just try not to put on an act

1/20/2009 9:01:56 PM

just make it a fun situation even thought u may see her/hear her speak and not be attracted at all


at the very least if yall had a good time u found a cool friend you know?

i make it a point to not alienate anyone, much less a blind date. i had one a few months ago that was awesome and i really like the girl, kept it jovial like i was hangin out with friends not makin it seem like an actual date

but thats just my style

1/20/2009 9:10:52 PM

that is actually how i end up meeting most of my SO's


friend of a friend that comes out and we end up clicking- i'm not the type of guy that goes up with the "hey girl- look look fun. Lemme get those digits" line

1/20/2009 9:16:47 PM

just treat it like a regular date!!

im sure she's nervous too, just relax and be yourself

1/20/2009 9:26:20 PM

the fact that you are stalking her on the internet and asking other strange internet e-dudes for advice on how to deal with this, I'm pretty sure you're doomed.


j/k


sorta


take it easy, have preplanned conversations, and don't repeat yourself, i.e. just let her do the talking so you can't repeat yourself.


never ever ever repeat yourself. Jesus it's a killer man

1/20/2009 9:36:59 PM

Quote :

"1) How do I treat this differently from a regular date? 2) Do I still buy the coffee/sweets/whatever for her (I'm thinking yes but I wanna make sure)? 3) What experience do you guys have with blind dates?"

Darius, you are a fun guy. Any girl should be lucky to go out with you...just DON'T take your clothes off and come running down the stairs until at LEAST the third date

Regular dates are a little more relaxes so just be prepared for some awkward moments. You can combat these by having some talking points in mind...like questions to ask her that require more than yes/no.

Yes, you still should buy the sweets unless she insists. If she insists, take that as a sign that she is independent and not that she doesn't dig you. It might work best if you order first and then turn to her as you get out your wallet and say, "What would you like?" so she will know you are paying.

I've had some luck with blind dates..and then again, I've met some total weirdos. It's really hit and miss. Good luck!

[Edited on January 20, 2009 at 9:40 PM. Reason : Just go into it expecting to make a good friend and it will turn out just fine ]

1/20/2009 9:38:31 PM

I have a post stalker.

1/20/2009 9:41:26 PM

dude you have an accent

chicks dig accents

1/20/2009 9:54:10 PM

could we move this to chit-chat for some real advice

1/20/2009 10:02:34 PM

I tired out internet dating once. First girl I talked to was a Duke girl. In the pictures she looked pretty cute, really cute actually, and she was pretty chatty online. I don't think we talked on the phone any, and we actually didn't chat enough online to get to really know each other before we decided to meet.

We met at the Starbucks at Southpoint for a morning date (terrible idea, btw) and I think both of us knew within 15-20 minutes that we weren't that compatible. At least, that is the impression I got. So, hopefully you've chatted enough on the phone to see if you are compatible.

I have a couple other internet horror stories - one of them involving a wonky eyed fattie.

[Edited on January 20, 2009 at 10:05 PM. Reason : .]

1/20/2009 10:03:01 PM

make sure you ask her tons of questions about herself

people like talking about themselves and she'll leave the date feeling like it went well

if she asks you questions back, answer of course but if there is any lull or awkward silence during the conversation just start asking questions!!

where have you traveled, where has been your favorite and why, what are you hobbies, how did you get into them, do you have siblings, have you seen the new ____ movie yet, have you read that book about _____, etc. just anything you can think of that relates to getting to know her!

1/20/2009 10:23:25 PM

Obviously going on a blind date is a little more stressful than a regular. You gotta think, with a regular date you were at least able to get her to agree to go out with you. On blind dates, there wasn't that initial connection. So while you may be attracted to her, you can't withhold your personality or she'll be bummed.

1/20/2009 10:26:53 PM

^^^

1/20/2009 10:46:52 PM

why are YOU on a blind date? that's surprising... you seem charming enough to find someone to date on your own, imo. but good luck!

1/20/2009 11:03:16 PM

Quote :

"1-no 2-yes 3-good luck"

1/20/2009 11:35:58 PM

TWW FTW! Thanks everyone for all the advice and compliments! I knew you guys would be able to help out in such a situation. I'm not friends with her on facebook yet but if things go well I'm sure we'll add each other and I'll post a few pics of her. The date is actually on Thursday now, she had to postpone it (works for me... now I can see the Lost season premiere ), but I'll keep you guys updated.

^The main reason is that I recently got dumped and I don't really feel like going through all the proceedings of finding a girl and getting her to like me enough to go out on a date. A friend of mine noticed I was a little bummed and suggested it, and he said she was cute, so I figured why not?

1/20/2009 11:42:13 PM

Quote :

"make sure you ask her tons of questions about herself"

Really? It's surprising to hear this, coming from a girl...I used to use this tactic, but found that it got on women's nerves, just barrages of questions. I sort of feel that it gives the impression of having nothing to say. I try to keep a 2:1 ratio of statements to questions.

1/20/2009 11:45:56 PM

beats the balls out of dead silence though... questions are better than nothin

[Edited on January 20, 2009 at 11:59 PM. Reason : good luck]

1/20/2009 11:58:47 PM

i'd say the biggest difference is you have to do more conversating to find out similar interests, since you don't really know much about them yet.

1/21/2009 12:38:58 AM

of course you want the conversation to flow naturally but if you feel a silence coming on or an awkward silence, asking someone a question about themselves will make the moment pass

if someone doesnt like questions being asked of them, they'll ask more questions back to take the heat off

this is normal social interaction, there are cues and rules and shit like that that just happen naturally but im tryng to give suggestions for when your nerves override your social radar!

1/21/2009 9:56:18 AM

^ good advice. I agree.

1/21/2009 1:10:00 PM

This is a good style...

Quote :

"just make it a fun situation even thought u may see her/hear her speak and not be attracted at all at the very least if yall had a good time u found a cool friend you know? i make it a point to not alienate anyone, much less a blind date. i had one a few months ago that was awesome and i really like the girl, kept it jovial like i was hangin out with friends not makin it seem like an actual date"

1/21/2009 2:09:49 PM

My roommate banged a couple of girls off of Craigslist over the summer...be careful and get teseted afterward is all I can say.

1/21/2009 2:22:35 PM

Quote :

"I try to keep a 2:1 ratio of statements to questions. "

Haha wtf.

1/21/2009 2:43:35 PM

You can change the thumbnail to normal size by changing the link...I think you change the "q" near the end to an "n". I don't know if that would ruin the whole 'blind date' thing though

1/21/2009 3:05:13 PM

^^
I'm a math nerd, sorry.

1/21/2009 3:09:33 PM

^^hahaha I already did that actually. Unfortunately the original facebook pic that was made into a thumbnail isn't much larger, so meh.

Edit: Well shit she just added me on facebook (kinda defeats the blind part of the date, but whatever) and yeah she's pretty cute




[Edited on January 21, 2009 at 8:46 PM. Reason : pics]

1/21/2009 8:22:03 PM

good luck. conversation is always the challenge on blind dates so read the paper or something before you go so you can start intelligent discussions.

1/21/2009 8:56:56 PM

You will never find better! Panic and immediately propose.

1/21/2009 8:58:45 PM

*cue blasphemour saying she ain't shit*

for real though. Good luck! She's cute.

1/21/2009 9:06:14 PM

As someone who knows you, Darius, let me just say:

Quote :

"You will never find better! Panic and immediately propose."

Just have fun and don't whip it out unless she asks for it.

1/21/2009 9:30:44 PM

I would say that after posting her pics on TWW BEFORE actually going on the date that someone should warn her to run the other way.

1/21/2009 10:13:38 PM

Quote :

"Quote : "make sure you ask her tons of questions about herself" Really? It's surprising to hear this, coming from a girl...I used to use this tactic, but found that it got on women's nerves, just barrages of questions. I sort of feel that it gives the impression of having nothing to say. I try to keep a 2:1 ratio of statements to questions."

Everyone loves to talk about themselves. I prefer asking people questions instead of saying dumb statements that they don't care about.

1/21/2009 11:06:15 PM

If its obvious it not going anywhere, you should try The Naked Man and tell us which side of 2 out of 3 you end up on.

1/21/2009 11:09:18 PM

Quote :

"eally? It's surprising to hear this, coming from a girl...I used to use this tactic, but found that it got on women's nerves, just barrages of questions."

The trick is that it's important to come off as "interested" rather than "nosy". You want to ask questions that lead to conversations, not close-ended questions that force you to continue asking over and over again.

It's a date, not an interrogation, after all.

[Edited on January 22, 2009 at 12:05 AM. Reason : .]

1/22/2009 12:04:54 AM

my parents met on a blind date. well i mean, they were set up by mutual friends. they've been married over 30 years...so blind dates can be good

1/22/2009 12:16:41 AM

^My parents were set up by my dad's sister, lol.

----

She's pretty cute, except for that whole 'Barack the vote' shirt

[Edited on January 22, 2009 at 1:12 AM. Reason : I dunno if it was a blind date tho]

1/22/2009 1:11:52 AM

should not have posted her pic.

now if it ever gets serious and she finds out your twwness, she'll look at your posts and see how creepy it is.

it is kind of creepy.

1/22/2009 9:01:12 AM

i remember the old campusflirts website

me and a few of my friends just went and asked every single girl on the site to be a match

then a few a my matches actually paid for the "premium" thingy so they could see my contact info

lets just say that if a girl is willing to use the internet to get a date, she usually isnt "normal"

1/22/2009 9:16:16 AM

just make sure you offer to give her a ride on Space Mountain

1/22/2009 9:25:14 AM