Not talking about one night stands. Talking about people you actually had a relationship with at one point or another, and a long time ago.

The strangest part (for me at least) happened today, when I reconnected with a girl that lived in my neighborhood when I was 11-15 years old. We would always hang out, go hiking, hook up and just be young kids. She now live in CA. and I'm happily married with a daughter here in NC.

Outta nowhere...12+ years later, she finds me on FB. Bunch of strange feelings arose, as some of my fondest childhood memories took place during those times, and I forgot how she was in quite a few of those memories.

Has this ever happened to anyone else? Again, not someone from a year or two ago, but a decade ago. This has been on my mind for quite a while today. I haven't thought about those times in forever.

It's so strange how people and places can jog your memory of things that were so important to you at one time, but quickly become things tucked away in the back of your brain.

PLZ DON'T MOVE TO CHIT CHAT!!!

11/30/2008 12:40:31 AM

run away. this has bad news written all over it.

11/30/2008 12:42:12 AM

Quote :

"run away. "

11/30/2008 12:46:54 AM

ask your wife and get back to us

11/30/2008 12:48:06 AM

fuck her first...ask your wife later

11/30/2008 1:08:00 AM

Quote :

"run away. this has bad news written all over it."

does it really? why?

what am I missing?

11/30/2008 1:16:21 AM

Quote :

"run away. this has bad news written all over it."

11/30/2008 1:26:38 AM

my gf wouldnt be happy

and you're married.

haha

11/30/2008 1:28:12 AM

hmmmm....I think I must have presented this in the wrong way.

I'm not being nostalgic about her specifically, but reconnecting with her on FB was the catalyst that got me thinking about 2-3 years of my life that I had basically just forgotten about completely.

I'm not sweating this girl at all, but I see how it came across like that.

I WAS 12 years old for Gods sake! My wife isn't silly enough to think that someone from 16 years ago is a threat to her or our relationship. If your girl would be mad about that, that sucks for you.

11/30/2008 1:33:41 AM

step away.

11/30/2008 1:54:26 AM

so uhh... whatd you do with her back then?

11/30/2008 2:14:53 AM

sounds like the facebook chick is a hottie

11/30/2008 2:22:33 AM

Quote :

"She now live in CA. and I'm happily married with a daughter here in NC. "

in other words, confirm the girl...but talking about reminiscing about the girl....NOT COOL.

thats how affairs get started, TRUST ME ON THAT.

be friends...dont talk to her and just let it slide.

11/30/2008 3:49:05 AM

advice taken.

Again, I was getting nostalgic more about that time then about the girl during that time, but it would make sense to simply distance myself if it's coming across as a potential affair. Lord knows that's not what I'm wanting out of this.

11/30/2008 8:34:46 AM

dude, you were 11-15.

11/30/2008 9:31:50 AM

10/10

11/30/2008 12:02:39 PM

my ex used to do that kind of shit on facebook and myspace all the time... pissed me off
don't be a dumbass like he was and leave your pages open on the computer

11/30/2008 12:07:42 PM

WHAT UP!!!!

11/30/2008 1:02:46 PM

Dude, you're not getting any. Just give up already.

11/30/2008 1:53:29 PM

dude, "old flame" means former romantic involvement...then you go on to specify "not one night stands", and "a relationship with".

There is no way that ANYONE would've drawn anything but one conclusion from what you posted.

11/30/2008 2:13:39 PM

i was about to say the same thing. you called her an old flame

11/30/2008 2:21:43 PM

Yes.

I fucked up.

BUT YOU GET THE FUCKING POINT NOW, OHKAE?

11/30/2008 4:05:52 PM

look, guys and girls, as a general rule, CANNOT be "just friends"...there is ALWAYS an element of attraction between people of the opposite sex who are "friends" and the vast majority of the time, one feels that attraction more strongly than the other

ESPECIALLY if you had an intimate relationship with the person in the past (be it sexual or not, though yours seems to be)...the very fact that talking to her again evokes these feelings means it is a bad idea to be more than just casual online acquaintances

11/30/2008 4:57:36 PM

thanks Harry^

11/30/2008 5:43:36 PM

it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

11/30/2008 5:45:26 PM

Quote :

"We would always hang out, go hiking, hook up and just be young kids. She now live in CA. "

FAIL

and i got myspace stalked by some girl who knew my older sister back in 1992. wild.

11/30/2008 6:03:40 PM

Quote :

"thanks Harry^ "

AND LOOK HOW HE AND SALLY ENDED UP

11/30/2008 6:23:36 PM

Yeah this happened to me recently. The girl was white trash when I knew her and sure enough she still seems to be white trash.

11/30/2008 8:15:28 PM

pics or it didn't happen

11/30/2008 8:16:22 PM

Quote :

"guys and girls, as a general rule, CANNOT be "just friends""

11/30/2008 8:20:41 PM

^agreed

11/30/2008 8:26:02 PM

Quote :

"look, guys and girls, as a general rule, CANNOT be "just friends"...there is ALWAYS an element of attraction between people of the opposite sex who are "friends" and the vast majority of the time, one feels that attraction more strongly than the other"

lol ... I knew we'd see Dr. Internet's favorite relationship advice. pops up everywhere

12/1/2008 12:02:54 AM

guys who say this aren't getting any (or if they are it's not any good)

12/1/2008 12:56:28 AM

Quote :

"there is ALWAYS an element of attraction between people of the opposite sex"

Not true.

12/1/2008 9:28:32 AM

^yeah, just sit me near a big ugly girl and see how easy it is for me to walk away

12/1/2008 9:34:43 AM

^^ well no shit...you left out the other half of the sentence

look, i'm not saying it's not possible...but i AM saying that most (50.0001% and higher) people simply can't do it...you're not friends with someone you don't have ANYTHING in common with, and if they're of the opposite sex, then there is a greater possibility of sexual attraction

unless you all are saying that you:
1.) have a lot of friends you have NOTHING in common with, or
2.) you NEVER HAVE and NEVER WILL look at your friends of the opposite sex from a sexual point of view, even so little as to appraise the size of her breasts or the outline of his shoulders, or whatever melts your butter

and this is coming from a guy who has FAR more female friends than male (because guys are boring as hell...i don't give a rats ass about sports or beer or farting or cars)

then again, maybe y'all just don't have friends of the opposite sex that you hang out with on a regular basis?

*shrug*

12/1/2008 9:50:31 AM

how about just quit being a shit head and dicking around on the internet

12/1/2008 5:15:52 PM

Yep, been there done that before I was married. It happened on AIM/AOL profile pages (before the facebook/myspace craze). I found an ex boyfriend of mine that I dated when I was 16. He was my best friend and my first fairly serious relationship. We were together on and off for a year, but distance among other things ended our relationship. So, when I found him on AIM/AOL, I messaged him just to say hi because he was also a great friend. It ended up bringing a lot of old feelings to the surface and we even contemplated getting back together. He was dating someone else and so was I, but there were still some feelings there. We planned to meet for lunch one day. At the last minute, I backed out because I felt wrong about it since I knew there were some romantic feelings there and I felt that I was being dishonest to the guy I was currently dating. It turned out that my ex's girlfriend had found out about the meeting anyway and wouldn't let him come.

Now that I'm married with kids, I make it a point not to look up old flames. My husband does the same. My husband has this friend that he had back in high school who he had serious feelings for. They never dated, but he knows that I would be uncomfortable with him talking to her. Perhaps I am a jealous bitch. He does respect my feelings though and, even though she has tried before, he hasn't talked to her since we got married.

12/1/2008 6:53:03 PM

Quote :

"don't be a dumbass like he was and leave your pages open on the computer"

lol, i did that once. man, it sure wasn't funny at the time.

as for this thread, i'm not sure what the point is, but these are the kinds of things you need to make a habit to avoid when you're in a committed relationship.

12/1/2008 9:51:59 PM