So, okay, we have a project that is important to meet a deadline.
This morning i told my boss that unless things blew up in test, that we would make the deadline. I planned to work late night to do that.

At 3pm I got a call that my grandmother who I was going to visit this weekend died this morning. We were really close and I kind of lost my shit at that point. The guys on my floor were like- nah, go home, it's cool, we'll tell boss lady.

Well apparently boss lady didnt get the whole story (only that I was upset over something, apparenlty not why or that i had left for the day) so I emailed her now like 7 hours later, and also find out that everything in test blew up too. Like 100x worse than I thought. So we've also got that and of course, y'know, working, no, i'm just not mentally there.

So what do I do now besides tell boss lady I'm sorry that I didnt give her the story earlier, I was kind of out of it?

[Edited on April 28, 2008 at 9:49 PM. Reason : .]

4/28/2008 9:47:26 PM

tell her the real story and what happened, be honest and legitimate and hope she takes pity on you for being irresponsible and not contacting her yourself instead of getting your goons to do it, who obviously did a poor job,

and sorry about your grandmother.

4/28/2008 9:52:57 PM

death in the family is automatic get out of jail free card...use it wisely

4/28/2008 9:54:05 PM

^^ not my goons. Actually I'm kind of their goon in the heirarchy of things.
But I did do that and apologize to her for not letting her know when I left.

^ I hope so. And trust me, I'm not faking this or making it up. I'd already told her earlier in the month that there might be a sudden trip and why, and i had told boss lady this morning I had to have friday off to go see her, and really couldn't push it back. (Making this up is not the kind of thing I'd do). So at least I had warned her something like this might happen. Somehow I just seem to have relatives who die during things like finals etc etc. course now I dont have all that many of them left.


Course I feel like shit I was going to go this upcoming weekend and didn't go this one just past.

4/28/2008 9:59:32 PM

if she has any bit of human decency in her, then she should understand that this circumstance is one that you can't control. knowing how close you were should make it that much more of a realization. You emailed her, and I would make a call in and let her know exactly what has happened and discuss what your plans are for the future. Shit happens, and she as a boss should know how to deal with it.

I'm so sorry about your grandmother and this unfortunate work dilemma that you have to deal with.

4/28/2008 10:03:38 PM

is anyone going to die or be hurt if you miss the deadline? if not then don't sweat it

4/28/2008 10:22:05 PM

Well, If boss lady is pissed because she thinks you made an excuse at the last minute which may or may not have caused the test to tank then perhaps you are better off exploring another position as that does not sound like a good working environment.

Unfortunately I have found that office politics play into many things and you might want to consider why you boss didn't get the whole story when your co-workers said they would cover/take care of everything.

Emailing her after you have had a chance to get your head on straight after finding out your sad news should be seen as what it is, you recognizing your responsibilities after you dealt with a significant trauma.

I would say that CYA until further notice regardless of the personal trauma and or degradation to office friendships. I had a similar experience about 9 months ago where I work and people looked down at me for taking a week off for a family death and had to dig myself out of that position...

4/28/2008 11:12:50 PM

the only thing that i would have done differently was to make sure she saw my face before i left.


but really, there aren't many souls cold enough to fault you for leaving to go see your family when a loved one has passed away, that is, so long as you aren't in the military.

everything will be fine and the fact that you were concerned with being responsible during a personal crisis like this by trying to keep your boss informed will only make you look like a good person and great employee.

4/28/2008 11:45:56 PM

You shouldn't have much to worry about here. Just be clear when you get back about what happened and how to better deal with it next time.

4/28/2008 11:52:01 PM

you didn't fuck up, there was just a better way to handle the situation

definitely go take care of your family business and such and get that in order

apologize for the way things were handled and blame it on your emotional state at the time

also, you're not irreplacable, the project will get done

if you think you might NOT be replacable, hurry up and figure out a way to be easily replaced, or else you'll never get promoted bc they wont be able to afford to lose you

4/29/2008 12:30:44 AM

what is with the "boss lady" and "boss man" thing? one of my E115 students called jason maners my boss man. Why can't he just be a boss? lol

4/29/2008 12:30:53 AM

lol

4/29/2008 12:32:17 AM

if your boss doesn't understand your situation with a death in the family, then it's time to look for a new boss.

[Edited on April 29, 2008 at 10:03 AM. Reason : d]

4/29/2008 10:03:33 AM