It's a wiggle."

DON'T LIE TO ME YOU FUCKING FORTUNE COOKIE

4/9/2008 11:05:40 AM

[in bed]

4/9/2008 11:06:19 AM

f- fortune cookies

4/9/2008 11:06:41 AM

I wish I saved all the ones that said I had found my true love, etc etc etc. I think I could bring about a great lawsuit against Confucious

[Edited on April 9, 2008 at 11:08 AM. Reason : a]

4/9/2008 11:07:47 AM

Conversation like television set on honeymoon: unnecessary.

4/9/2008 11:07:57 AM

i got one that pretty much said to slap a bitch.

4/9/2008 11:09:01 AM

Big house like man married to fat woman: hard to get around.

4/9/2008 11:09:28 AM

if you ever get one that says "choke a bitch", then you opened my cookie by mistake

4/9/2008 11:13:06 AM

When you are the moon, the best form you can be is a full moon. And then the half moon... he's all right. But the full moon is the famous moon. And then three-quarters, eh, no one gives a shit about him. When does he come, two days in, to the calendar month? He's useless. Full moon. The moon. The main moon.

4/9/2008 11:21:10 AM