Correct title: March 1998

It's hard to believe how time seems to go by so fast, but yet so slow at the same time. It's perspective, I guess. It's also hard to believe that it's been ten years since I heard the two words that have haunted every day of my life ever since. "She's gone."

My sister Lauren was in the process of finishing her final years as a resident at Duke Medical with hopes to specialize in trauma care, when about 10 years 8 hours ago, my parents got a bone-chilling phone call from the Durham Police saying that Lauren had been in a car accident on the way home from work, and that she was being rushed to the Duke trauma unit, which fortunately wasn’t too far away. I was in high school at the time, so I went to the hospital with my parents, my dad and I doing everything we possibly could to keep my mom calm on the seemingly infinite ride from Cary.

We waited for hours, which seemed like years, until the doctor came out saying that she was in critical condition and that she was unconscious. We went in to see her. I've seen lots of gross and painful images and videos on the Internet, but nothing comes as close as to what I saw that night. My beautiful sister wrapped in bandages, hooked up to all kinds of life support machines, with tubes coming out of all parts of her body. Reality didn't really hit me until I saw first saw her. I fell to my knees crying, and everything after that was really a blur.

My mom, dad, and I, along with other close family members, spent the night in the hospital, each taking turns going into her room to stay, to talk and to comfort. Looking back at my life, this night at the hospital was probably the most scared I've ever been.

The doctors throughout the evening were monitoring all her vitals, with little machines making those horrifying and unidentifiable beeps and chirps, which only have meaning to the doctors and nurses. The only machine that I understood was her heart rate machine. Her pulse was so variable throughout the evening; it got as low as 45 but as high as 130.

The following morning around 6am I woke up to relieve my dad of his command, to let him freshen up and get a cup of coffee. When I saw Lauren I had that horrible feeling that something wasn't right. I don't know what it was, but I could feel it flowing through my veins. I knew something bad was going to happen. Not 15 minutes later, her heart rate machine stopped beeping and all other kinds of alarms started going off. Within seconds doctors and nurses were yelling as they ran into her room, kicking my mother and me out. We hugged each other as tight as we could, crying and trying to cover our ears to cover up the reality that my sister was in the room dying.

A few minutes later the doctor came out to deliver the word that my sister had died. I felt lifeless. My whole body went numb, and I honestly don’t remember the events that happened. She was 28 years old. Her ashes were scattered on the family estate in the mountains of western North Carolina, her favorite place in the world to escape life.

Ten years later, I don’t think anyone in my family has recovered, and I don’t think that we ever will. There will always be that void in our lives, those grandkids and nephews and nieces that we’ll never get to see on holidays and never get to spoil with love. I’ll never get to hear her talk about how she used to think she kicked my ass at Mario Kart.

The drunk man who hit her went to court and served three years for vehicular homicide, and lost his license for an additional two. Out of anger my parents had every intentions of slapping him with a civil suit to ruin his life as he had ruined theirs. Instead, they redirected their anger to form a foundation on her behalf, which raises and donates money to charitable organizations who campaign to stop drunk driving. Since the founding, we’ve received over $400,000 in donations, albeit mostly from family and friends.

In 2003 we received a call stating that the man who robbed my sister of her life lost his life also when he ran off the road (intoxicated, of course) and was involved in a 60mph collision with a tree. I wish I believed in Hell so that I could happily envision this man spending eternity burning and writhing in pain.

Its 2008 now. Lauren would be turning 39 years old on June 17. I always imagined her being a wonderful critical care doctor, with a husband that enjoyed watching Wolfpack football with my father and me, and with two kids, a girl and boy, running around causing trouble. What do I miss most? I think its hearing her voice and seeing her beautiful face. I miss that smile I got on my face when my phone rang and when I saw that it was her calling me. I miss those late night conversations about absolutely nothing (although she occasionally tried to give me advice on dating girls).

Lauren, you were truly a one of a kind person, and even though you are not with us anymore, your memories will live within us forever. I miss you more than you ever could imagine.

[Edited on March 19, 2008 at 6:55 AM. Reason : .]

3/19/2008 6:52:42 AM

it's too early in the morning for me to be crying, dude.





bless you, man.

3/19/2008 6:55:33 AM

3/19/2008 6:57:48 AM

3/19/2008 7:00:22 AM

way to depress me in the morning man

3/19/2008 7:02:53 AM

I'm impressed that you were able to convey how your felt / feel so well. I don't mean that flippantly either . . .

3/19/2008 7:05:01 AM

wow, that sucks

3/19/2008 7:05:28 AM

geez

3/19/2008 7:08:15 AM

i hate it for you, dude. but why do you post shit like this on here? so many detailed blogs

3/19/2008 7:08:56 AM

that's terrible. i'm sorry joesombers

3/19/2008 7:11:46 AM

She will continue to live in memories of those she has touched....

god bless

3/19/2008 7:15:59 AM

well told

3/19/2008 7:19:00 AM

hugs to you and your family

3/19/2008 7:23:16 AM

:hug: and

3/19/2008 7:34:47 AM

I didn't read it. executive summary, please

3/19/2008 7:40:55 AM

his sister passed away 10 years ago

he still feels the effects to this day.

3/19/2008 7:41:36 AM

Quote :

"Out of anger my parents had every intentions of slapping him with a civil suit to ruin his life as he had ruined theirs. Instead, they redirected their anger to form a foundation on her behalf, which raises and donates money to charitable organizations who campaign to stop drunk driving. Since the founding, we’ve received over $400,000 in donations, albeit mostly from family and friends."

That's pretty awesome...I'd like to say I could do the same thing if something happened to me. Big ups to your parents.

3/19/2008 7:43:57 AM

oh fuck

3/19/2008 7:45:04 AM

Quote :

"I wish I believed in Hell "

so you're a heathen then? j/k

sucks though, one of many reasons why i have no respect for drunk drivers.

3/19/2008 8:09:56 AM

I am really sorry that you and your family had to go through that pain, and that you're still feeling that pain. I share your pain, I've lost close friends because of drunk drivers and I have no respect for them. This is one of those humbling moments to make you realize how precious life really is, and how you should take advantage of every moment of it that you get.

3/19/2008 8:11:57 AM

3/19/2008 8:16:07 AM

3/19/2008 8:26:37 AM

I'm surprised Chit Chat is being this nice.

3/19/2008 8:27:12 AM

Hey, now I know what to do when I crave attention from the internet

3/19/2008 8:38:24 AM

well that wasn't a pleasant read

3/19/2008 8:55:20 AM

Joe #'s can be such a bitch sometimes.

He's like the Oprah of TWW.

3/19/2008 10:09:31 AM

My aunt was murdered the week of her 31st birthday and the week after my 6th birthday. I may have been young but i can remember the exact message that played on the answering machine when we got home from dinner, my grandmother in hysterics saying something had happened.

That was almost 18 years ago and my family has yet to recover and yet to know who stabed her to death with her own kitchen knife. Things change but it never really goes back to normal. I know how it feels and how it tears at the family. Truely, im sorry for your loss.

3/19/2008 11:32:58 AM

Quote :

"Hey, now I know what to do when I crave attention from the internet"

Quote :

"Joe #'s can be such a bitch sometimes. He's like the Oprah of TWW."

Quote :

"I'm surprised Chit Chat is being this nice."

3/19/2008 11:36:13 AM

3/19/2008 11:36:14 AM

i still don't get it. i could see someone mentioning something like this in a thread about drunk drivers or something. but to make a thread and write out a couple pages....

i think maybe what i dont understand is the fact that he actually gets away with the shit. if anyone else makes this post, they get laughed into next week.

so, congratulations. you've made the wolfweb feel sorry for you. that's a pretty amazing feat. i can only imagine the types of pity manipulation you pull off in real life, you've definitely got this whole thing down to a science

3/19/2008 11:44:55 AM

^^^^stop diverting attention, jen

lol

[Edited on March 19, 2008 at 11:45 AM. Reason : .]

3/19/2008 11:44:59 AM

im gonna tell this story when i get back to work. when i get home, i'll let you guys know if i score any sympathy pussy.

later!

3/19/2008 11:52:19 AM

not to be a dick, but my first two thoughts were:


1. Louie Anderson died?!?!

2. Wasnt he a lot older than that?

3/19/2008 11:54:22 AM

^^^^ i guess it's the whole "i've lost everything - especially my sister and my eye - so everyone love me" thing...i don't know what it is, but i agree with you

i mean, i don't suppose he's ever a douche that i've noticed (which many people can't say about themselves for the entire duration of their tdub career)

[Edited on March 19, 2008 at 11:55 AM. Reason : .]

3/19/2008 11:54:35 AM

Quote :

"so, congratulations. you've made the wolfweb feel sorry for you."

You're right, he should have faked cancer instead.

3/19/2008 12:01:45 PM

wait so was this the same accident in which you lost your arm?

3/19/2008 12:06:22 PM

Joe, sorry to hear about your sister. This is why I hate drunk drivers.

First I thought only you have bad luck with cars. Turns out it's your whole family. If I were you I'd walk everywhere...

3/19/2008 12:06:48 PM

joenumbers is the only person who is allowed to use TWW as a blg

3/19/2008 12:16:18 PM

im not looking for pity... it's a way of venting, i guess. i didn't sleep at all last night, so yeah i had a lot of time to write.

3/19/2008 12:48:50 PM

Quote :

"i still don't get it. i could see someone mentioning something like this in a thread about drunk drivers or something. but to make a thread and write out a couple pages.... i think maybe what i dont understand is the fact that he actually gets away with the shit. if anyone else makes this post, they get laughed into next week. so, congratulations. you've made the wolfweb feel sorry for you. that's a pretty amazing feat. i can only imagine the types of pity manipulation you pull off in real life, you've definitely got this whole thing down to a science"

how do you manage to crusade for a better wolfweb half the time and then shit on one of the few good contributers left the other half?

3/19/2008 1:09:18 PM

^ responding to the quote (not jocristian) : TWW is like anywhere else. For whatever reason, some personalities rise to positions of some prominence. Don't get your panties in a wad just because you're not one of them.

3/19/2008 1:13:39 PM

and you just attempted to troll jackleg

gg

3/19/2008 1:23:36 PM