2.6 lbs of poop

2/16/2008 1:42:21 PM

pics or it didnt happen

2/16/2008 1:42:41 PM

holy crap

2/16/2008 1:42:59 PM

Mayflower again?

2/16/2008 1:43:54 PM

god damn i love mayflower

2/16/2008 1:44:50 PM

I've had over three pounds before

or should I say three pints

because that more accurately describes what came out that day

2/16/2008 1:52:07 PM

2/16/2008 4:23:38 PM

Quote :

"02:02 pm: Real Life Brain-Teaser Earlier today, I encountered an enigma that prompted me to send the following email to Cartwright and my brother who's a doctor: "Since getting a new bathroom scale a couple days ago, I’ve developed a sick interest in the weight loss I incur by taking a piss or a shit, since I can easily measure this by weight differential of pre- and post-bathroom usage. I’ve noticed that there are some weird (or at least extremely counter-intuitive) things going on, mainly the weight of my pisses drastically exceeds the weight of my shits… for example, when I woke up this morning I weighed myself and then took a piss and then weighed myself again, and went from 181 to 179.2. The day before, I went from 180.8 to 179.4. (Believe it or not, I’m keeping track of this stuff in an Excel spreadsheet.) So on average, that first morning piss is worth about a pound and a half! On the other hand, I just took a massive shit, conservatively the size of a full roll of Ritz crackers, and only went from 181.4 to 181. It was a giant turd and only weighed 0.4 lb! I’m about 90% sure this thing was a sinker, although it was pretty massive and may just have been wedged into the bottom of the bowl. But if it was indeed a sinker though, then its density exceeds that of water and means that my morning pisses must have a volume greater than that of 4 rolls of Ritz crackers. This seems impossible to me, that my bladder could hold that large of a volume. Right off the bat, I could think of three possible explanations, but none seemed plausible: 1) the turd is actually a floater that got wedged, so taking density into account, shits are just generally much lighter than pisses even if volumes are similar. I don’t really buy this because I often take large shits that sink 2) refraction of light at the water-air interface fools me into thinking the turd was bigger than it actually is. Possible, but feels unlikely. and certainly I’m not going to verify. 3) the scale is imprecise, and I just happened to measure large pisses and one large-volume shit as relatively light. However, this scale seems to have excellent precision—I’ve weighed myself over and over once right after another and always get the same weight. So this is a big mystery to me, what do you guys think?" Then, in a moment of sheer genius, I figured it out, and with a couple tests I solved the enigma. $50 Stars transfer to the first person who can figure out what was going on, and how I verified it. Cartwright of course keep your mouth shut."

then, the answer

Quote :

"None of you figured it out, I guess that means I'm smarter than all of you, not a surprise. Here is the email I sent to Cartwright and my brother: "I think I just figured this one out... right after I sent that message a lightbulb went off: perhaps the scale takes into account the approximate weight measured in conjunction with the time interval between weighings, and figures out when to just repeat a previously reported measurement just to give the impression of precision. That is, if the scale measures a weight within a certain range within a certain time interval, then it deduces that the person is just weighing their self over and over again. Seems like it'd be a relatively simple thing to keep track of. To check it, I then went and weighed myself, without having had anything to drink or eat and without having changed clothes or anything since I took the shit. Scale told me 181.6, meaning that I had magically gained 0.6 pounds while typing the email. Then I weighed myself a couple more times, it kept spitting out 181.6 at me. To seal the deal, a little later I weighed myself (181.4) then took a real quick power-piss of about 10 seconds, weighed myself again and got 181.4, even after pissing. A magically weightless piss, yeah right stupid ass scale. Then I leisurely finished pissing and weighed myself a third time, 180.8. [Wintermute] 1, scale 0. I'm a modern-day encyclopedia brown, mtoherfuckers. (this means that I will have to gather a large amount of piss and shit data to answer the original question of relative weights, since the scale's true precision is likely pretty bad)" Since then, I have taken another shit. This time it was smaller, about the size of a can of Cheez-It, and I dropped from 180 to 177.8 after blasting it out. So it's pretty evident that the scale does indeed have fairly poor true precision. I had a protracted argument with Cartwright about whether this hysteresis was mechanical in nature or programmed into the circuitry, as I originally assumed. I think it's the latter but have to admit that it's probably impossible to differentiate between the two. We decided I should weigh myself at increasing regular intervals to see if the hysteresis tapers off gradually (suggesting mechanical memory) or suddenly (programmed), but I haven't had a chance to try that out. My brother was disappointed that I wasn't, in fact, on the verge of discovering a way to gain weight by taking a shit. If that had proved to be the case, I figured that conversely I could find a way to lose weight by eating, and then use this technology to the benefit of mankind by force-feeding the hell out of fat chicks while having sewn their assholes shut, causing massive amounts of weightloss and a sharp increase in proportion of hot chicks out there. Damn."

2/16/2008 4:45:21 PM

words

2/16/2008 4:46:38 PM

Quote :

"I don’t really buy this because I often take large shits that sink"

2/16/2008 4:47:27 PM

This guy



is telling us what this guy is up to.

2/16/2008 5:10:53 PM

It might be kinda fun to stand on a scale while pissing and watch the number go down.

2/16/2008 6:02:45 PM

^^ Dude got caught with his hand in the mustard jar.

2/16/2008 6:05:02 PM

Quote :

"the scale is imprecise, and I just happened to measure large pisses and one large-volume shit as relatively light. However, this scale seems to have excellent precision—I’ve weighed myself over and over once right after another and always get the same weight."

Precision is to how many decimal places the scale reports. What this guy is referring to is accuracy, which is how close the measurement is to the real value. The precision of his scale isn't worth dick if he keeps giving him an inaccurate answer every time.

Remember, kiddies: precision != accuracy. Get it right!

2/16/2008 6:12:38 PM

I thought precision was how close the measurement was to the others that were taken? Not how many decimal places.....

2/16/2008 6:44:56 PM

nope, it's how many decimal places you measure it to...

you can be precise as hell and still be completely inaccurate

2/16/2008 7:14:33 PM

ive been doing some hard thinking lately and you know... just maybe those are the same two clowns

2/16/2008 7:15:44 PM

Quote :

"This guy is telling us what this guy is up to. "

ahahhahahahhhahaha

2/16/2008 7:16:06 PM

sure in computers it does

but other sciences and industries, it's the measure of the agreement among individual measurements.

2/16/2008 7:16:31 PM

^ that's what were were always taught too. glad to know i'm not crazy.

2/16/2008 7:27:54 PM

^^ Now that I think about it, that is also true.

The analogy I remember is the target and arrows. Accuracy is how close to the bullseye the arrows are, precision is how close together the arrows on the target are.

2/16/2008 8:33:28 PM