http://www.duggmirror.com/comedy/100_Greatest_Quotes_from_fundamentalist_christian_chat_rooms/

1/19/2008 5:04:40 PM

Quote :

"Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is. "

Peter Griffin was right.

1/19/2008 5:08:57 PM

older than sin

1/19/2008 5:10:59 PM

Quote :

"[about a girl being born with mental disabilities] This girl is like a leper so what she needs to do is try and find god if she really believes she can be healed from this state, she will be healed from this state Most afflictions like this are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb. If she can repent for what she does god will embrace her and make her as human as you or me but if she chooses not to she'll always be like this"

Quote :

"I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie"

hahaha!

[Edited on January 19, 2008 at 5:17 PM. Reason : 3 words]

1/19/2008 5:16:59 PM

There was a thread about this a few days ago.

1/19/2008 5:18:00 PM

Quote :

"The more sin, the heavier something is"

and these morons are allowed to vote b/c....?

1/19/2008 5:18:24 PM

1/19/2008 5:18:24 PM

Quote :

"The Fact the Earth is Flat is not my opinion, it is a Proved Fact! While all we need to know is that the Bible says the Earth is flat (Is.40:22, Ez.7:2, Dn.2:35; 4:10-11,20, Mt.4:8)... but for a second can you imagine what these so-called 'scientists would have us believe --- If the earth really was round, that would mean there arre people who are HANGING DOWN, HEAD DOWNWARDS while we are standing head up? But since the theory allows to travel to those parts of the earth where the people are said to hand head downward, and still to fancy ourselves to be heads upwards, and our friends whom we have left behind us to be heads downwards! LOL! What foolishness! TheWHOLE THING IS A MYTH - A DREAM - A DELUSION - and a snare, and, instead of there being any evidence at all in this direction to substantiate this popular theory, it is plain proof that the Earth is Not A Globe!"

1/19/2008 5:19:39 PM

Quote :

"How can anyone beleive we evolved from monkeys heres a few questions for people who beleive that 1.If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys 2.Even Darwin said his theories were wrong before he died so why do you still believe them 3.do you really not believe the bible it says we were created in seven days not millions of years 4.how come we cant speak monkey Just for a fact ape like creatures are monkeys Just in case certain people get on this thread"

1/19/2008 5:20:10 PM

Quote :

"4.how come we cant speak monkey"

hahaha

1/19/2008 5:23:32 PM

Quote :

"3.do you really not believe the bible it says we were created in seven days not millions of years"

why do christians insist upon using their bible as a source? if i dont believe most of the shit in it, what makes you think its a credible source?

1/19/2008 5:25:20 PM

Quote :

"A woman wants to abort a rape child? She should have thought of that before she walked down that dark alley without a male prescence, not to mention she should have thought before putting on revealing attire. [Yes. It should (be legal). Otherwise you're screwing over the women who don't deserve their fate.] Are you calling them victims now? Should've stayed in the house where it's safe."

and this one made me LOL:

Quote :

"Make sure your answer uses Scripture, not logic.""

1/19/2008 5:25:33 PM

Quote :

" [on the subject of a Bible printing company] Yes, that is a great company. I bought one of their large print version (old eyes... what can I say?). The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English. It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English."

Some of these quote make me want to cry....people can't be this stupid

1/19/2008 5:26:09 PM

Someone tell me this is a joke.

Quickly!

1/19/2008 5:35:24 PM

Quote :

"[Talking about an eleven year old girl who was raped and then buried alive] god was sacrificing this child as a way to show others the light. much as he did his own child. what a beautiful gift he has given us."

Quote :

"A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However he should not penetrate, sodomising the child is OK."

Quote :

"Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims. Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!"

1/19/2008 5:35:46 PM

Everyone is posting the same quotes /message_topic.aspx?topic=510066

1/19/2008 5:37:38 PM

oh, I see.

1/19/2008 5:40:39 PM

Quote :

""A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However he should not penetrate, sodomising the child is OK.""

It's a joke right.....

nononononononononononono

1/19/2008 5:42:09 PM

^no, I don't think so.

Quote :

"Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish."

same thing, is it not?

1/19/2008 5:44:09 PM

Quote :

"I often debate with evolutionists because I believe that they are narrow mindedly and dogmatically accepting evolution without questioning it. I don't really care how God did what He did. I know He did it."

This shit has got to be a fucking joke

1/19/2008 5:53:43 PM

Wow... that's just sad... how do these people function in society at all? (Theory: Most of them are probably so fat they likely only leave the house when their nephew isn't there to deliver the groceries... no offense to intelligent fat people).

Quote :

"A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However he should not penetrate, sodomising the child is OK."

...the fuck? That's not even Biblical, that's just

1/19/2008 5:53:57 PM

I always wondered how I instinctively knew how to speak monkey.

1/19/2008 5:57:28 PM

Quote :

"Athiests as a Majority This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests. ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker. ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son. ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive." ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon! The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later. ATHIEST DAD: Hey! ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life." ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want! ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom. ATHIEST DAD: Why not? ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there. ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here? ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet. ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me! Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house. ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside! ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there! The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods. RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian! THE END Scary, isn't it? "

HAHA!

but I should be ing

1/19/2008 5:57:35 PM

i lol'd...and then i got sad b/c people like this exist

1/19/2008 5:59:47 PM

^^Hahahahahha

I imagined it as a Southpark episode while reading, made it less of a

[Edited on January 19, 2008 at 6:01 PM. Reason : ^]

1/19/2008 6:00:42 PM

Quote :

"Athiests as a Majority This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests. ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker. ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son. ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive." ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon! The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later. ATHIEST DAD: Hey! ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life." ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want! ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom. ATHIEST DAD: Why not? ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there. ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here? ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet. ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me! Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house. ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside! ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there! The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods. RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian! THE END Scary, isn't it?"

AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA





bastard beat me to it

[Edited on January 19, 2008 at 6:07 PM. Reason : ,]

1/19/2008 6:05:17 PM

ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.

1/19/2008 6:07:06 PM

If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol

1/19/2008 6:07:25 PM

Quote :

"Me and like-minded Christian students are trying to organize a mock stoning of openly gay students at our campus. We will be using crumpled up gray/brown construction paper to represent rocks, and will recite bible verses in opposition to their sinful nature. We will throw a volley or two of these "rocks" at every Gay person we happen to encounter that day"

dofihvwdoficmjostligvjneoidovg9poescqa04prqu36t0836tug7 n5y43mgreymg0hgfda9espf

1/19/2008 6:09:59 PM

^Wouldn't something like that be illegal? I mean, protesting would be free speech, but these guys want to throw shit.

1/19/2008 6:11:45 PM

wow......

1/19/2008 6:12:25 PM

quick! whats that website that has all the rediculouse bible quotes? like about slavery, beating the wife, etc etc

1/19/2008 6:12:56 PM

http://www.thebricktestament.com/

1/19/2008 6:14:09 PM

Quote :

"God revealed to me two things about the timing of the rapture. God specifically told me 2007 was the year, because I was only going to have from 3 to 3 1/2 years to spread the message after my book was published."

pwnt

1/19/2008 6:16:13 PM

Quote :

"I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive! "

pwnt x2

1/19/2008 6:18:13 PM

Quote :

"Just imagine vast fields of our sisters in Christ -- sisters brain damaged and comatosed, never to mentally return to this Earth full of sin -- inserted into pods that are themselves connected to a myriad of wires and hydraulic tubes (I know, it sounds exactly like the Matrix, and I freely admit, although it's certainly a very evil movie, some of the imagery is inspiring and inspired this post). The pods will be the most comfortable places on Earth, playing soothing music like Bible hymns and Mozart, their insides like a massage chair and covered in silk. A few intruding wires and tubes will, of course, have to connect to the women inside the pods to monitor their temperature and overall health, as well as the babies' of those that are pregnant. And of course there will be one tube reserved for the insertion of a man's seed whenever the women are at their most fertile. And only the best semen will be used. I haven't quite settled on a selection process yet, but I'm thinking some sort of Christian council could perhaps vote on the man who is honorable and moral enough to breed generations of these children. Perhaps one man won't be enough, for a little bit of diversity is always good. We should, therefore, most likely have a multitude of different men, one of each race. When the children are born, they can be sent off to special adoption centers, where they can be delivered to good Christian parents who are unable to themselves breed. Those that may be left over can be raised in God, brought up in Christian schools, where prayers are said thrice daily (at least), and in the summer, they can be sent to Jesus camp. If the schools are as good as I envision, then these children will make the perfect leaders for our future. But not just leaders, for if this idea is near as good as I am thinking, we will breed enough of these children to one day make up a huge percentage of our population, such that they can elect only the most Christian of people to the government. So even those that are not the brightest and best can contribute to God in some way. "

Wow!

[Edited on January 19, 2008 at 6:25 PM. Reason : fucking AAAAA]

1/19/2008 6:22:27 PM

^^I see pwntx3 in that quote...

Son is "dating" when she/he doesn't want him to
Son is doing things behind mother/father's back
Son is actually gay

^...uhh...WHAT?

[Edited on January 19, 2008 at 6:25 PM. Reason : .]

1/19/2008 6:23:30 PM

I was just tryin' to say how it was twice as bad as the quote before.

1/19/2008 6:24:34 PM

Quote :

"One theory is that the pre-Flood Earth had a canopy of ice above it that squeezed the atmosphere down to, say, 15 miles [...] If you squeezed the air down to 15 miles - instead of 100 - it would be more clear because there would be less distortion - atmospheric twinkle it's called. And probably this canopy of ice would act as a photo-amplifier where you would actually see things much more clearly. That's one theory that [in] the pre-Flood world you don't need a telescope - you could see incredibly well. "

really?
i guess another theory to explain why people could see incredibly well (??) is that people used to have xray vision

1/19/2008 6:25:08 PM

atmospheric twinkle, it's called

1/19/2008 6:32:19 PM

me and cody are tripping out.


are these people serious?


geeeeezzzzzzzzz.....

1/19/2008 7:38:35 PM

goddamn!

1/19/2008 7:39:35 PM

Quote :

"2.Even Darwin said his theories were wrong before he died "

this is not true

1/19/2008 8:09:35 PM

^ yeah, but these people avoid studying the subject, so they wouldn't know.

1/19/2008 9:12:43 PM