What would you do if your sig other gained weight? Or lost weight?

My bf and I had this discussion this week. On The Biggest Loser, there are always contestants that are really huge (350+ lbs.) with tiny sig others. Weight would have to play a role in the relationship. Like, spending more money on airline tickets because you have to buy two seats for one person. Or spending more for a California King-sized bed just to fit two people. Or, worst-case scenario, buying a hydraulic lift to get them out of bed.

Conversely, my bf has lost about 30 lbs. and I've lost about 12 lbs. since we started dating a year ago. I think he'd look bad if he lost more weight. He says I already look scrawny and I shouldn't lose more weight (not scrawny at all ... 5'6" and 127 lbs.) or he might get a little turned off.

Anyway, at what point would you intervene and say, "Hey, I'm concerned about your health," or "Lay off the Taco Bell, tubby." And at what point can weight end your relationship?

10/23/2007 10:54:41 AM

It's ok, you don't have to hide the fact that you're shallow.

10/23/2007 10:55:55 AM

I thought you were a dyke...?

10/23/2007 10:56:59 AM

just say something like "I'm becoming less attracted to you."

10/23/2007 10:58:31 AM

Don't say it. Just come up with ideas to get exercise and eat healthy. Get a pair of bikes or go hiking often. When you go out go somewhere that's not Taco Smell. And if you don't want to put forth the effort and their looks can end the relationship then you're not really all that interested and any weight is okay to leave them.

[Edited on October 23, 2007 at 11:04 AM. Reason : s]

10/23/2007 11:00:35 AM

Alarms go off in my head if a chick gains more than 5 pounds. It's not that 5 pounds either way makes much difference, but chicks tend to get fatter as they get older and if she's already gaining weight now, it doesn't bode well for the future.

10/23/2007 11:01:29 AM

^^^That would be a deep knife in the heart.

[Edited on October 23, 2007 at 11:01 AM. Reason : cxvxc]

10/23/2007 11:01:39 AM

[no fatties]

10/23/2007 11:02:02 AM

Simpsons did it

10/23/2007 11:02:46 AM

as long as my gf never weighs more than me, than everything is good.

10/23/2007 11:04:44 AM

I wanna say that I saw it on TWW once, but a guy posted his response to the "would you still love me if I got fat?" question. His answer was roughly: If you got fat tomorrow through no fault of your own, say a medical condition, then yes I would still love you. However, if you got progressively fatter because you ceased to care about your appearance, while I worked hard to maintain mine, then we'd have issues.

That being said, it is a fine line trying to encourage a significant other to meet their weight loss goals and being accused of calling them fat.

10/23/2007 11:06:27 AM

Quote :

"Don't say it. Just come up with ideas to get exercise and eat healthy. Get a pair of bikes or go hiking often. When you go out go somewhere that's not Taco Smell. And if you don't want to put forth the effort and their looks can end the relationship then you're not really all that interested and any weight it okay to leave them."

well said.


If you really care and love someone then them gaining weight wouldn't be a big deal, especially 5 or 10 lbs. However, if it gets to be a lot of weight gain then voicing concern about their health should be the biggest issue. Unless your love is completely fake and on the outside then gaining weight shouldn't come in the middle of your love.

10/23/2007 11:08:33 AM

Conversely, if you really love someone, staying in shape for them shouldn't be a big deal either.

10/23/2007 11:10:16 AM

look i dont even stay in shape for myself

get off your high horse thinking i do it for you

10/23/2007 11:11:18 AM

I like to pick up my girlfriend and twirl her around and stuff. I figure that if she starts getting fat, I'll pretend to hurt my back when doing said picking up. Then I'll tell her that it is her fault that my back hurts.

10/23/2007 11:12:31 AM

^^ meh.

I just get tired of people using, "you should love me no matter what" as an excuse to quit trying in a relationship. I've been fortunate in never seriously dating anyone like that, but I've seen it happen.

10/23/2007 11:14:05 AM

Quote :

"Conversely, if you really love someone, staying in shape for them shouldn't be a big deal either."

that's true too.


Granted you should be happy with yourself first, but if your s.o. voices concern about your health then there is nothing wrong with going on a walk everyday, or eating better.

10/23/2007 11:15:06 AM

i keep running into girls that work out all the time before and when you're just dating

get serious, no need, they don't have to impress someone anymore

then they start hitting the gym again

you think it's nice

and sure enough, it's b/c they plan on breaking up or are already hooking up with someone else

i keep running into crazies.

10/23/2007 11:16:27 AM

mine wants me to go to the gym with her more

I probably should

10/23/2007 11:16:28 AM

Quote :

" going on a walk everyday"

Does walking actually help you lose weight? You don't even get your heart rate up unless it's speed walking or whatever.

10/23/2007 11:18:12 AM

well if you go from stagnant to walking an hour a day that's a drastic change

10/23/2007 11:19:11 AM

^^ If you walk everyday, then yes it does. My new job, I walk 14 city blocks to and from work everyday, and I'm already seeing a difference.

[Edited on October 23, 2007 at 11:20 AM. Reason : .]

10/23/2007 11:19:48 AM

The day my wife breaks the 200lb barrier is teh day I trade her in for a newer model

10/23/2007 11:21:26 AM

Quote :

"Does walking actually help you lose weight? You don't even get your heart rate up unless it's speed walking or whatever."

That's how El Borracho started her weight loss. Dunno how much of it was just from walking.

It's more of a mindset thing, anyways. something > nothing, and helps to overcome that initial hump of changing a sedentary lifestyle.

10/23/2007 11:21:32 AM

oh god, I'm sick of hearing about this tv show... do you guys know how unhealthy it is to lose weight that fast???

however, to answer your question, if my significant other was to get fatter or skinnier... I guess it really doesn't matter unless I was shallow... or really appreciate girls who take care of themselves because I take care of myself... except with the smoking and drinking... LOL

I guess the best answer is... I really don't give a shit!

10/23/2007 11:22:13 AM

Quote :

"Anyway, at what point would you intervene and say, "Hey, I'm concerned about your health case of dysentary", and "Lay off the Taco Bell, tubby." "

10/23/2007 11:25:39 AM

I lost 20 lbs in 8 months

that's slow going but I don't think I'll gain it back
just gonna keep up that pace

10/23/2007 11:26:36 AM

My bf and I both agreed that weight doesn't matter (though he contradicted himself by saying he'd be less attracted to me if I lost weight). It's when you're unable to enjoy the things you like to do together that weight gain is a problem. It sucks to date someone who won't go out to a bar or club because "they feel fat." Chris and I are pretty active, so it would suck if weight gain got in the way of the things we enjoy doing, like surfing, biking and running. I know if I gained 50 lbs. I'd be less inclined to throw on a bikini and go surfing. I'd probably sink my board.

Has weight loss ever been a problem in your relationships?

10/23/2007 11:29:16 AM

The Biggest Loser really scares me. Everyone looks like a deflated blow-up doll by the final show. They're worse than a high school wrestling team from the way they dehydrate themselves before weigh-in.

10/23/2007 11:31:56 AM

When I hear or read this...

Quote :

"I lost 20 lbs in 8 months"

I always think of this..
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33592

10/23/2007 11:33:04 AM

i've broken up with 50% of the women in my lifetime because they got in the comfort zone and gained weight........but it's not like i told them that

10/23/2007 11:50:14 AM

my roomies gf a few years ago made him into a fattie. He's lost something like 70lbs since then

10/23/2007 12:06:59 PM

My husband has actually gained 100 pounds over the course of our 5 year relationship. He was underweight for his height when we started dating and he grew 2 more inches, so the initial weight gain was welcome. He's 6'5, so he carries that extra weight better than most. But then he packed on enough for me to worry about his health -- nothing scary, I'm still attracted to him. I just started cooking more, eating out less, suggesting that he do active things, and expressed my concern about his health. He hasn't really lost any of the weight, but I see him making more and more healthier choices every day.

I didn't start out 5 years ago as a thin girl and then I slowly gained 50 pounds. My husband never said a word to me about my weight and even boosted my morale when I became depressed about my weight. He just encouraged me to do something about it, if it bothered me so much. When I started shedding the weight, he was my biggest cheerleader. I've lost 30 pounds and I'm looking forward to shedding some more once I have my baby.

I think that criticism isn't the way to do it. I think that you should love and support the person that you are with no matter what. If they're gaining weight, drinking, smoking, or doing something else that you dislike, you should find a positive way to approach it. Like a concern for their health, not appearance or attraction, and then encourage and nudge them along the way.

[Edited on October 23, 2007 at 12:10 PM. Reason : .]

10/23/2007 12:08:50 PM

^^

[Edited on October 23, 2007 at 12:11 PM. Reason : lolz]

10/23/2007 12:11:27 PM

^^If someone can't be supportive then you shouldn't really be together anyways. When you decide to share your life with someone you're agreeing to help them battle weight, addictions, etc. It's not all rainbows and butterflies!

[Edited on October 23, 2007 at 12:12 PM. Reason : I think poopface is telling the troof ]

10/23/2007 12:11:53 PM

im tyring to fatten my girl up for winter now...

10/23/2007 12:32:36 PM

Quote :

"It's ok, you don't have to hide the fact that you're shallow."

Bingo

Quote :

"I like to pick up my girlfriend and twirl her around and stuff. I figure that if she starts getting fat, I'll pretend to hurt my back when doing said picking up. Then I'll tell her that it is her fault that my back hurts. "

great idea, subtle and doesnt make you look like a shallow bastard

10/23/2007 12:33:01 PM

Quote :

"I think poopface is telling the troof "

i am!

10/23/2007 12:43:39 PM

5' 6", 127lb = perfect in my book



















... but im 5' 6.5" and 145ish ehe.















on a serious note. One should be concerned with the well being of their significant other. If they are gaining/losing weight in an unhealthy manner, then be straightfoward with them and talk about it. Dont hide it or beat around the bush. Weight can end the relationship if it causes too much trouble for the two of you... you know, when the situation gets heavy.

10/23/2007 12:46:04 PM

does the camera really add 10 pounds to the contestants on "The Biggest Loser"?

10/23/2007 12:46:12 PM

10/23/2007 12:47:04 PM

^ Haha that was hilarious

10/23/2007 12:50:58 PM

^^ hahaha, I saw that guy too

[Edited on October 23, 2007 at 12:52 PM. Reason : ]

10/23/2007 12:52:15 PM

lol, he's my new fan hero!

10/23/2007 12:55:14 PM

^^^ Haha that's really awesome.

Back on topic, I think that being healthy is more important than what your significant other is attracted to. If he/she is less attracted to you because you lost weight and became healthier, then it may be time to get a new one.

10/23/2007 1:20:30 PM

Quote :

"What would you do if your sig other gained weight?"

Cocaine and cigarettes

Quote :

"Or lost weight?"

Weed and junk food

10/23/2007 1:22:46 PM

fat girls give the best head
cause they're hungry

10/23/2007 1:26:22 PM

lead by example

also, dont be so shallow

10/23/2007 1:27:26 PM

man, i dropped 40 pounds over the past 9 months...now, because of this job where i sit all day (and my inability to control my eating, apparently), i'm putting weight back on...damnation!

10/23/2007 1:30:00 PM

----------------> 2

10/23/2007 1:34:35 PM