I expect a 500-word essay explaining why you weren't there.

10/14/2007 2:17:02 AM

evan that means you

10/14/2007 2:17:25 AM

I ate cookout.

Wait, that was a textbook. Same thing.

10/14/2007 2:18:49 AM

woohoo, no essay for me, im playing halo 3 right now instead

10/14/2007 2:26:03 AM

I was eating box * 125

10/14/2007 3:12:16 AM

box = pussy?

10/14/2007 3:13:54 AM

fuckin freeennnch toast > cookout.

10/14/2007 3:15:13 AM

FUCKING FAGGOTS

10/14/2007 3:15:32 AM

10/14/2007 3:16:01 AM

i am assuming this is referring to me

10/14/2007 3:27:09 AM

Some wolf webber got the shit kicked out of him there.

10/14/2007 3:28:33 AM

what the fuck is this about

10/14/2007 3:33:44 AM

^^slowblack96



[Edited on October 14, 2007 at 3:42 AM. Reason : .]

10/14/2007 3:42:35 AM

details??!?!?

10/14/2007 3:44:20 AM

"The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin." This quote, by none other than Heinrich Heine, epitomizes the reasoning behind my absence at The Wolf Web Cookout Party. The constant struggle of man to understand the cultures of his neighbors has been an issue since the dawn of time. My absence is, quite literally, a statement of my distrust and uncertainty towards the empire that is Cookout and those who follow it.

I often ask myself why I feel the need to exhibit my beliefs this way. To put it simply, it's much easier than staging protests, hiring lobbyists, and convincing high-strung lawmakers to produce legislation effectively banning such creamy goodness. Cookout milkshakes are poised to take over the world. With their perfect portioning and carefully controlled consistency, no man can hold his own in a diatribe between the two. It has taken me the majority of my life to build up a resistance to their product, and I am not about to put all my efforts to waste.

This being said, my eventual goal is to overthrow the bureaucracy that is the Cookout on Western Boulevard. Many a night I have found myself going through the drive through or walking up to the window to order a tray and a milkshake. Students at North Carolina State University cannot resist its temptation - it is simply too powerful. This level of control can prove fatal in the wrong hands - the effects of this have been demonstrated again and again, most notably with the students of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. The school's campus and its community were reduced to nothing more than a homosexual commune after being overthrown by an organization now known as The Cat's Cradle.

Some may say that to understand this power is to possess it - I disagree. The best course of action is to become immune to the threat and wait until it is weak. One must always be poised to strike, as the fatal fallacy may come at any time. Just as the Romans conquered the world by blindly attacking whoever got in their way, I am on the offensive front against fast food everywhere. I can only assume that Cookout is run by homosexuals. This is the only logical explanation for their mastery of the student psyche. The homosexuals are an advanced race - we could learn a lot from them. Those that I have met are extremely articulate and do not at all seem like they wish to put their penises in my rectum. They only seem concerned with milkshakes, and only creamy milkshakes at that. We must not oppress them - to survive, we must embrace their culture AND their buttsecks.

As you can see, my friends, my reasons for not attending the Party tonight are quite numerous. I hope you understand. If any of you would like to join me, let me know via PM. I'll be waiting.

10/14/2007 3:49:04 AM

^^
http://thewolfweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=496611&page=4

apologies to gunzz

[Edited on October 14, 2007 at 3:50 AM. Reason : .]

10/14/2007 3:50:05 AM

thanks...i edited what i originally put...first thing i put was how i thought slowback seemed like one of those redneck wigger types

10/14/2007 3:56:24 AM

what is the cookout party business

10/14/2007 5:31:41 AM

evan recovered all the cool points he previously lost for actually completing the assignment.

10/14/2007 2:20:18 PM

Some dude got his radio jacked out of his car there too, although I don't remember the details of that.

Nobody's been shot there yet but it looks like we're escalating towards that.

10/14/2007 2:25:50 PM

no offense but anyone that is dumb enough to not go through the drive thru deserves whatever happens to them at cookout...its not like the place just all the sudden turned sketch

10/14/2007 2:36:17 PM

its not like the place just all the sudden turned sketch

10/14/2007 2:41:19 PM

cookout is sketch now?

[Edited on October 14, 2007 at 2:47 PM. Reason : .]

10/14/2007 2:46:57 PM

the cookout here near my house is nice and normal and clean and without roaming gangs

10/14/2007 3:00:08 PM

cookout is sketch now?

10/14/2007 3:08:23 PM

Don't eat fast food, nor do i live in raleigh.

10/14/2007 3:16:20 PM

pleaseeee i go to the "other" cookout downtown

10/14/2007 3:32:45 PM

i would've gone but i didn't see the thread until a bit later.

i love me some cookout.

10/14/2007 3:36:20 PM

Hurt my back so badly I couldn't walk without help. Driving anywhere was out of the question.

10/14/2007 3:39:49 PM

shit that slowblack story is crazy

10/14/2007 8:18:39 PM