So I've been coaching field hockey for 3 years at my old HS, and this year we got a new Athletics Director. This year I was contracted and signed to assistant coach Varsity. Well, because this AD is a douche he didn't hire a MS coach, and because with no MS team that means in 2-3 years, no JV or V team. So I told him I would coach Middle School and then go for the last hour of the Varsity practice. He said he was fine with that.

Throughout the year, I have to come to find out from the JV/V coach that he has made a comment every day about how he is paying me too much. He has also said quite a few unprofessional and snide comments to my face. Coaches at this school, he said, salaries were based on what level team and years of coaching experience. He is paying the JV assistant coach more than me, btw, and she has NO years of coaching experience and I have 4.

Not only that, he has complained that he never sees me at the Varsity practices and accused me of skipping out on that. Well, come to find out he goes down there the FIRST HALF of practices so of course I'm still coaching the MS so I'm not down there. He also doesn't notice I stay an extra hour every day after official Varsity practice to help individual girls.

Not only that, he has rescheduled games without telling me. I found out from a parent who wanted to know if we needed snacks for the games.

I have 3 1/2 weeks left, and I'm going to quit. By doing so, however, means that 20 girls will no longer have a team to play for. I know I should suck it up, but I come home in tears almost every day.

Should I just quit and hope the girls understand?

10/2/2007 12:31:05 AM

is it your fault or your ADs fault that you want to quit? you can't tough it out forever, quit that shit and punch him in the nuts.

10/2/2007 12:34:06 AM

shouldn't you be bitching him out or something?

10/2/2007 12:34:54 AM

that too

10/2/2007 12:35:07 AM

Id quit but continue coaching the girls if that makes any sense

still go to practice and the games and all to show you support them but not that you support the AD.

Tell him all this as well, its alot easier with communication...so do that and mention it to the other coaches as well, they will stick up for you.

but first step is communication.

10/2/2007 12:38:22 AM

Quote :

"shouldn't you be bitching him out or something?"

10/2/2007 12:39:17 AM

I seriously had to stop myself from throwing a flaming bottle of piss into his office and dancing on the ashes.

I just would feel terrible that all my girls would no longer have a team 1/2 way through the season. They love me and we've bonded...some even e-mail me when they're having problems with their families and just need an adult.

I'd feel huge guilt abandoning them, bu this DA seriously is the BIGGEST asshole I have met. During my "meet the parents" meeting he barged in and took over when I was talking about the new conference rules and actually told the parents he was "Happy to his wife finally was making 6 figures and that we can finally afford that half million dollar house they always wanted."

10/2/2007 12:39:26 AM

haha, i live in a 650k towhouse and i'm 24, tell him that.


btw, i didn't buy it. i rent from a dude. he's 24 also.

[Edited on October 2, 2007 at 12:50 AM. Reason : def not trying to look like a badass, rent is killing me, moving to atl, rent is one of the reasons]

10/2/2007 12:49:11 AM

he aint the top of the totem pole is what im saying

tell someone about this mess, dont bottle it inside, you cant win that way.

let someone know.

10/2/2007 12:50:02 AM

it seems like the question or whether to leave or not is a relatively simple one (which is not to say there's an easy answer). essentially, it comes down to what is more important to you--is it more important to you to escape this situation that makes you miserable, or is it more important to you to finish out the season?

10/2/2007 1:10:46 AM

violence actually does solve problems. i say kill'em

10/2/2007 1:13:47 AM

What kills me is he said some of these comments to me infront of my girls. I've had offers from them to egg his house.

Several of the parents were dumbstruck when they heard how he talked to me.

I really don't know WHO to go to, to be honest, to complain.

What also is irritating is that he hasn't notice that since I've coached, the season wins went from 1-14, 0-13, 2-13, to 2 season of undefeated winning streaks, and 1 season with only 1 loss and 1 tie. And he told me I was incompetent.

[Edited on October 2, 2007 at 1:17 AM. Reason : ...]

10/2/2007 1:15:27 AM

who's his boss? and don't give me that jesus bullshit.

10/2/2007 1:19:41 AM

this will happen for as long as you're there and as long as you continue to allow it to happen--in order to stop it, one of those has to change; i don't know how to tell you to do that

10/2/2007 1:20:01 AM

record him bashing you

then play it back to his boss

10/2/2007 1:21:10 AM

Is it legal to record someone without them knowing?

10/2/2007 7:48:00 AM

ya damn right it is...it's called "cover your ass" work.

10/2/2007 8:45:20 AM

just tell the athletes how much of a ass he is and to egg his house...

10/2/2007 8:49:38 AM

Quote :

"shouldn't you be bitching him out or something?"

Agreed. If called you incompetent to your face, you should've ripped him a new one. Go to whoever outranks him, be ready to name specific instances in which he's been unprofessional, and go from there.

BTW, I never thought someone with the s/n MeatStick would be a chick.

10/2/2007 9:02:15 AM

also mention how he was disrespectful to the parents and other coaches, not just yourself

10/2/2007 9:03:25 AM

I would say get the parents on your side, have them talk to him, then maybe you can shift some weight into your favor.

Quote :

"Is it legal to record someone without them knowing?"

I don't think so, but if there is another person that gets recorded on the tape, you have to ask them permission/tell them that they are on there.

Quote :

"Well, because this AD is a douche he didn't hire a MS coach, and because with no MS team that means in 2-3 years, no JV or V team."

Sounds like he's trying to put a stop to hockey at your schools to have money for other sports or himself. Looks like girls hockey was the lowest on the totem pole.

10/2/2007 9:20:57 AM

u need to completely document every issue from here on out. its ur job now to nail this bastard and if u play ur cards right he wont have a job. its not fair that his own incompetence and being a shithead is going to cost u urs so youd better stick up for urself.

i think its perfectly acceptable to record him in any confrontation u may have with him for ur own protection if nothing else. and u need to confront him with the issue at hand...just amke sure to do so in a clear concise and nonemotional way

10/2/2007 9:23:34 AM

Quote :

"Is it legal to record someone without them knowing?"

On the phone or in person?

Quote :

"shouldn't you be bitching him out or something?"

You most definitely should.


Also, this could be as simple as gathering the girls and their parents, saying "I'm probably going to have to quit because of the new AD. I love yall, but I can't keep doing this! I would welcome your support when I complain to his supervisor"


...You may find that suddenly, you have no problems.

10/2/2007 9:25:57 AM

i'm pretty sure in NC its ok to record so long as one party knows..
its only not ok if neither party knows

thats what i've heard so don't quote me on that.

i heard this in reference to phone calls..not sure if its same in person

[Edited on October 2, 2007 at 9:30 AM. Reason : ...]

10/2/2007 9:29:54 AM

do school systems have ADs or do the individual schools?

10/2/2007 9:31:27 AM

Quote :

"i heard this in reference to phone calls..not sure if its same in person"

On the phone, you must notify the other person. You have 30 seconds from the start of recording to let them know/ask their permission, or use another method, which is a beep, and I think the required interval is 5 seconds.

10/2/2007 9:33:15 AM

lez out with all your athletes

10/2/2007 9:38:56 AM

^Varsity athletes

10/2/2007 9:40:04 AM

ive never trusted male coaches of womens athletics.

them or elementary PE teachers.

10/2/2007 10:08:33 AM

Quote :

"ive never trusted male coaches of womens athletics. "

I'm a girl.

I'm having a meeting with the head of the school Wednesday and the Varsity coach, god love her, actually wrote down each thing she's heard him say to her and to me.

And if this doesn't work, I'm going to take a shit on his desk, knock him over (he's fat...it's just wrong to have a 300lb 40 year old telling me about how to run a sports program), and burn his house to the ground with his wife in it....or at least that's how it should go.

10/2/2007 11:34:41 AM

...and lez out with all the varsity chicks

10/2/2007 11:44:36 AM

If you're a woman and an older man is saying things like this to you, I'd be willing to wager you can get him in a lot of trouble by talking to his bosses.

I'd present your case and what you want to change as calmly and unemotionally as possible. I've read things that say women who get angry in the workplace are viewed as unhinged & crazy, while men who get angry at work are viewed as more of an alpha male. Being as cold and logical as possible when presenting this can only help you.

10/2/2007 12:24:05 PM

...and lez out.

10/2/2007 12:43:19 PM

I'm mean seriously, I dunno why you are being such a baby about this?

Have you dealt with any sort of confrontation at all?

Why didn't you complain when this first started? Why let it get this far?

Quote :

"I know I should suck it up, but I come home in tears almost every day."

Jesus. Stand up for yourself. Are you 5 years old?

10/2/2007 12:44:19 PM

Quote :

"I stay an extra hour every day after official Varsity practice to help individual girls."

Getchu some dawg.

10/2/2007 1:21:36 PM

^


haha, i was about to post that.

10/2/2007 1:41:50 PM

Quote :

"Jesus. Stand up for yourself. Are you 5 years old?"

10/2/2007 1:59:09 PM