Quote :

"FROM THE DESK OF MR.SANUSI JOSEPH EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR/FINANCIAL CONTROLLER NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION(NNPC) FALOMO OFFICE ANNEX LAGOS NIGERIA Attn:Sir, REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP I am the financial controller of Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC). I got your Contact address from world business directory in Nigerian Export Promotion Council. I am officially in charge of offshore remittance in this Corporation (NNPC). I am seeking your assistance to transfer the sum of Forty Two Million (US$42,000,000.00) to your account for further private investment. This amount accrued from an over-invoiced contract amount for the construction of Oil Refinery Sub- station in Nigeria in 1995 to expatriate companies. The contract was originally valued for one Hundred and Twenty Seven Million United States Dollar US$127,000,000.00) but we manipulated the figure to read one Hundred and Sixty Nine Million United States Dollars($169,000,000.00) The extra $42,000,000.00 is what I want to transfer to your account. This contract has been completely executed and the original contractors have been paid all their contract bills less this $42,000,000.00. For your assistance, I have agreed to remunerate you with 30% because it is impossible for me to claim the amount here in Nigeria without foreign collaboration. 5% has been mapped out for any miscellaneous expenses incurred by either party during this business, and 65% for will be left for me for a profitable investment in your country. It may interest you to know; four years ago a similar transaction was carried out with one Mrs. Patrice Miller, the President of Craine International Trading Corporation at number 135 East 57th Street, 28th floor, New York.10022 with Tel: 714-686-7532 and TLX number 6731689. Mrs. Patrice disappeared into thin air when she received the money. Her Telephone and Telex numbers had been reallocated to other users by the time I arrived New York for my share. This explains exactly why we will make a concrete agreement between you and me, should you be willing to assist in this deal. All modalities to effect the payment and subsequent transfer of this money have been worked out. This transaction is 100% risk free but requires 100 percent confidentiality. This is a golden opportunity which must not be allowed to slip out of any careless acts and utterances. I chose you for this transaction because I believe that good friends can be discovered and businesses such as this cannot be realized without trust. You can be rest assured that your security has been considered before you were contacted. I await your urgent response through. Best Regards, Mr.Sanusi Joseph. "

9/28/2007 9:10:46 AM

OUTSTANDING

AMAZING

REVOLUTIONARY

9/28/2007 9:11:15 AM

UNPRECEDENTED

INGENIOUS

NOVEL

9/28/2007 9:15:21 AM

CHICKEN

BONE

EARRINGS

9/28/2007 9:15:45 AM

NEVER

DONE

BEFORE

9/28/2007 9:20:06 AM

MO

NAKED

HOES

9/28/2007 9:20:35 AM

C

C

COMBO BREAKER

9/28/2007 9:48:52 AM

BACON

LETTUCE

TOMATO

9/28/2007 9:51:00 AM

Quote :

"OFFICE OF THE SENATE HOUSE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA COMMITTEE ON FOREIGN PAYMENT (RESOLUTIONPANEL ON CONTRACT PAYMENT) IKOYI-LAGOS NIGERIA E-mail: senateoffice_ng124@yahoo.dk FILE CODE #: ATM/LAG/NG ATTN: BENEFICIARY, Going by series of petition received from International Body on the way your inheritance fund was handled by our correspondence office .After Extinctive close door meeting with Board of Directors and other Stake holders in the Government, Subcommittees of the House Of Assembly and the House of Rep , Federal Republic of Nigeria. It was Resolved and Agreed upon that your Heritance Fund would be released on a special method payment , which tag Name Reads SWIFT CREDIT CARD, This method of payment is designed by the Government to avert fraud perpetration or stoppage of fund by Some Agencies. Either Through Anti Terrorist Certificate or other certificates. This Swift Credit Card would be issued to you upon meeting with the Bank Requirement. This office, has Been Mandated to take charge of the Issuance of the ATM SWIFT CARD And that your inheritance payment file should be passed to my desk for clarification .Upon Certification that your file is ok.This Office would Direct you on how to receive your over Due inheritance fund via ATM SWIFT CARD .The ATM CARD would be delivered to you via Courier. In the light of this aforementioned, You are required to furnish the following information. To the Paying Bank Afribank Plc Dr JEMAS KALU on this email :atmafribank124@yahoo.com.vn Direct Tel : 234-1-4720582 1) Your Full Name...................... (2) Address where you want the payment centre to send your ATM CARD................. (3) Phone And Fax Number................... Your Next of Kin Name and your date of Birth. Your telephone number and fax This Information’s would be used in opening of an account here .It's from here that the ATM would be used in issuance of The ATM SWIFT CARD in your favour with the Atm Card Number and all your information inserted into the card. Upon completion of this issuance of the Atm Card ,It would be send to you via Courier to your residential Address. Urgently furnish this office with your Contact information in order to reconfirm if it's in line with the one contained in our payment data. Be informed that your fund has been called back and it's now in a suspense Account here in Our Bank. A new Account has to be opened in your Name Before The Swift Credit Card is issued. Waiting for an urgent response. Yours Faithfully Senator David Mark (New Senate President Federal Republic OF Nigeria ) "

9/28/2007 10:13:36 AM

Quote :

"Dear Friend, I am Stella UJUNWA CHINWETA daughter of Chief Chris CHINWETA, the king of Ogoni Kingdom. I am 17 Years old and an undergraduate of Mass Communication. My Father was the king of Ogoni Kingdom the highest oil Producing area in Nigeria. He was in charge of Receiving Royalties from the ulti-national oil Companies and government on behalf of the Oil Producing Communities in Nigeria. After the hanging of The Ogoni Nine (9) including Ken Saro Wiwa for speaking out against the environmental ecological effects, my father suffered Stroke and eventually he died November 15th 2003. But before his death, he called me secretly and told me in confidence that he has the sum of Twenty Three Million Five Hundred and Sixty Thousand Dollars (USD23, 560,000.00) deposited, with one of the leading banks in Africa. He advised me not to tell anybody except my mother who is the last wife of the (8) eight wives that he married. My mother did not bear any male child for him. This implies that in all my fathers’ properties, companies’ e.t.c, we have no share in them because my mother has No Male child according to African Tradition. My father therefore secretly gave me all the relevant Documents regarding the said money deposited in the bank, and told me that I should Use this money with my mother and my younger sisters because he knows that traditionally, if he dies we cannot get anything, as inheritance. Though my beloved mother died last year, she suffered high blood pressure due to the humiliation we suffered from the entire family members. Please bear with me that I don't hear clearly, but we can still arrange for the transfer. He importantly advised me that I should seek foreign assistance and that I should not invest this money here in Nigeria.Because of his other wives and male children who happen to be my elders.Hence, I am soliciting for your immediate assistance to enable us MOVE this money from the bank here to you if you can promise to be Reliable and Trustworthy. Then once the money gets to your hands, you will first procure a Bungalow for us where in we Will live with my two younger sisters and Father advise me where and how I will invest the balance money overseas, possibly on products of your Company and other profitable ventures. I believe that by the special grace of God, you will help us move this money out of Nigeria to any country of your Choice where we can invest this money judiciously with you. You are entitled to a reasonable part of this Money based on our agreement, and God will bless you as you help us. Please reply through my e-mail looking forward to hear from you as soon as possible. I will tell you more about this when you reply. Please if you are not interested let me know, keep this to your self and delete please for our security. Best Regard, STELLA UJUNWA CHINWETA "

9/28/2007 10:16:13 AM

Quote :

"After the hanging of The Ogoni Nine (9)"

oh lord here we go again

9/28/2007 10:28:46 AM

9/28/2007 10:30:45 AM

9/28/2007 10:54:13 AM

This shit is for real. I got $42 million from these guys. A++++++ will send bank info again

9/28/2007 11:00:13 AM

Quote :

"From The Office of the President. Address: 23HQ Finance House Abuja-Nigeria Email: federalministryofinance0@o2.pl Re-You’re Outstanding Payment. Dear Beneficiary, How are you today together with your family? It is pertinent that an issue of this magnitude should have arise with a formal meeting with you, due to the time factor and the urgency this matter requires, after processing your payment $15.5 million us dollars and ready for transfer to your designated bank account or preferably bank draft. We have discovered in our file that you are the last beneficiary remaining due for payment and in our outstanding investigations, we discovered you have been dealing with the wrong people over some Months ago and some illegal fees have already been paid to them still no funds came true. Please for your own good, the president has instructed me to inform you that you should cease and desist all further communications with whomever you are dealing with right now, or whoever that claims to be from our office while, they were under investigation for stealing, fraud and impostor. N.B we would not be held responsible for any lost you mind encounter in your dealings with them if you do not desist within 24hrs of our notification. However, you should note that according to the law guiding fund transfer / delivery in our constitution act 2004, no fees is required to be paid for procurement of any certificates which have cost so many victims much money and still nothing to show for it. Dear friend, all you are required to pay is the courier / insurance fee of us$1,800.00 only covering your payment as this is the only payment you are required to pay for the delivery of your fund to you according to the instruction from the newly elected president. Do re-confirm to us your: 1) Your full name: 2) Residential address : 3) Phone, fax and mobile # : 4) Company name, Office position and Company address : 5) Profession, Sex, Age and marital status : 6) Working I'd / Int'l passport : 7) Banking Details if necessary: Do confirm the receipt of our notification and get back to me so that you can be advised for your own good. Awaiting your urgent response to finalize your payment. If you have any relevant question(s) regarding this matter, do not hesitate to e-mail our office . Sincerely, Rev. Dangote Smith. Special Adviser/C.E.O (Contract/Inheritance Payment)"

10/18/2007 10:09:57 PM

(He did an episode on Nigerian scammers as well)

10/18/2007 10:23:43 PM

ahahaha this one is great


Dude wants me to ship a fucking CDMA phone to fucking Africa Africa. Unless he wants it for a $200 digital time piece its gonna be pretty useless there.

11/20/2007 9:17:43 AM