I don't know how my parent's did it. They raised children, worked very demanding jobs, AND still had time to take us places.

I just try to keep my head above water with my little one (1.5 years).

I'm dead tired every night (I have 3 jobs), but I make sure they are fed and getting enough activity (educational and otherwise).

I can only hope it gets easier as they get older.

How about you?

9/20/2007 12:41:10 AM

it doesnt get easier

9/20/2007 12:43:09 AM

three jobs? holy shit.

but, anyhow, if you got a 1-1/2 year old, i'll tell you now, it DOES get easier. A LOT.

ours is almost 3 years old now, and the difference between that and 18 months, is tremendous. orders of magnitude. they just dont even compare.

i mean 18 mos. was a great time, the kids at that age are adorable, but I'd have to say thats the time it was probably the absolute most work.

it gets a lot easier, and more fun.

just enjoy it now for what it is, and make the best of it. take lots of video.

9/20/2007 1:04:53 AM

Quote :

"I have 3 jobs"

CHASS major?

[Edited on September 20, 2007 at 1:42 AM. Reason : "fairing" -- i guess not]

9/20/2007 1:42:07 AM

Depends on what you mean by easier. They are still as demanding, but not in the same way.

My kids are 5 and almost 7. The amount of time I have to spend devoted to helping them with normal day to day activities (getting up and dressed, eating, bathroom stuff) has gone down drastically. They are much more demanding of my personal time though. Even though they understand why I'm not always home with them, they still don't like it, and are very vocal about it.

My advice? Spend as much time as you can just being a parent. Don't always spend your time doing structured activities. Let them be kids. And enjoy it, they get big way to fast.

9/20/2007 7:35:48 AM

Quote :

"I just try to keep my head above water with my little one (1.5 years)."

Like joe_schmoe said, it does get easier. During the transition from 1½ to 3 you'll see:

Potty training
Listening and obeying
Independent play
Less getting into everything
Eating on their own

There are other things that kids don't do at 18 months that they start doing at 3 that will require work. It's not that the hard part is over with, it's just that there are a new set of challenges. All in all I'd say that the physical exertion level is much higher during the first 3 years than it is afterwards.

9/20/2007 7:37:50 AM

10 weeks to go

I don't know how we're going to do it.

Right now financially we're worried.
Between adding 2 dependents to my insurance and then Daycare costing the same as our mortgage... My paycheck is gone.

Other than worrying about $ we're both really excited. scared but excited.

9/20/2007 10:45:02 AM

I have a full time job in addition to the two businesses that I run.

It gets confusing at times.

Quote :

"just enjoy it now for what it is, and make the best of it. take lots of video."

yeah busting out the camera or having it within reach is hard. kid is all over the house.

Quote :

"CHASS major?"

nope. would you like fries with that?

Quote :

"Even though they understand why I'm not always home with them, they still don't like it, and are very vocal about it."

I was the same way with my parents.

Quote :

"I don't know how we're going to do it."

You'd do fine as long as you aren't crazy.

Financially it hasn't been that bad. Insurance takes care of shots and checkups and all you have left are clothes, diapers, and assorted things.

Daycare is expensive. Staying at home is pretty much an equal option. Either way you lose a paycheck.

It's a fun/scary ride.

9/20/2007 11:50:29 AM

I can't wait to be a Mom and my husband is just as excited

We can certainly afford it but it's going to be a very tight budget. We both work 2 jobs. I will cut back to just the one soon. (I quit bartending as soon as I found out - don't worry)
I'll take my maternity leave and then go back. I love my job and it would be next to impossible to find the same position around here so staying home isn't an option. We have insurance through my work so that also makes it worth it.
At least being a teacher I'll have the summers off to spend with her.

I just never imagined daycare to be so much. I know there are options such as in-home providers (my mom had one when we were kids) and other centers out there that may be cheaper then the one we've choosen. But peace of mind is much more important to me than saving a little $ on something so important as daycare. The center is 1/2 mile from my work and I can go there on my break and a dozen of my co-workers kids go there. It has one of the best reputations in the area.

I'm religious about getting 8 hrs of sleep a night. I guess I can kiss that goodbye. I can barely sleep now because she's very active at night and loves to kick me in the ribs nonstop.

The only family we have in the area is my brother in law. Everyone else is up north.

9/20/2007 2:05:21 PM

Quote :

"I just never imagined daycare to be so much."

yep

$600/month for my daughter, although it'll be going down to $500 in a couple of weeks when she turns 1 year old.

[Edited on September 20, 2007 at 2:10 PM. Reason : i have a whole assortment of different issues than the rest of you, though.]

9/20/2007 2:09:57 PM

^^^^ $600 ouch! I lived in Philly and didn't have to pay that much for two kids. Knowing that they are in good hands is key though.

It is kind of nice to get to hear other people complaining about how much everything costs and just get to smile because I'm done with all that.

[Edited on September 20, 2007 at 2:24 PM. Reason : ^]

9/20/2007 2:23:52 PM

well, there was another place that was like $500, but it's pretty much just supervision and caretaking. they had a year long waiting list, anyway.

this place has a curriculum where they actively work with the kids--it's basically a preschool (although what they can do with the youngers babies is obviously more limited).

nowhere besides those two places accepted babies under 1 year of age.

oh, and i have to pay $1007 in child support anyway, so it might as well go towards the best daycare money can buy!

(although baby's mom finally agreed to give me back the extra money i've given her and return what's not needed from now on each month...but still, i don't mind paying extra for better care. i just don't want all of it blown on designer baby clothes and other ridiculous stuff).

9/20/2007 2:30:58 PM

hi Danielle!


and yeah, you can take all of the precautions in the world--nothing is 100% except for not having sex (i defied the odds big time...it happens).

and i've gone through orders of magnitude more hell than just have my finances beaten up (although i've had that, too...almost $18,000 in the last year in child support and legal expenses)...

but D is exactly right...no matter what complicating factors occur as a result, you are absolutely wrong and unfit as a parent if you think of your child as a "mistake". I view my daughter as a huge blessing--other people are the ones who cause problems...that's where my beef is--not with my precious daughter.

[Edited on September 20, 2007 at 2:43 PM. Reason : asdfasfd]

9/20/2007 2:39:36 PM

It's tough but rewarding. Our daughter is 15 months now and really a handful. She is very engaging but demands a lot at the same time. She is fun though, you can see her learning and growing every day. Luckily for us my wife only has to work part time so she only spends a couple days / week in daycare. Financially we have been very fortunate in that I managed to get a higher paying job before she was born that is very flexible time-wise.

9/20/2007 2:46:15 PM

Yea daycare is mucho. Thats why my wife is staying home and working on her schooling online right now so she can teach in another year or two. I'm very happy my state school job lets me stay in town everyday to spend time with the kids and not be on the road. I dislike having to work a 2nd one right now part-time so my wife can afford to stay home, but I am still off work there by 6 and have a 30 mile commute home.

But it does get easier. I really enjoy them as they get older. My kid can already give me a run for the money on Gamecube and some PC games. Think Santa might be bringing us a Wii this Christmas.

9/20/2007 2:47:51 PM

Damn all this talk about money and stuff makes me glad I'm still living the single life, maybe not as rewarding in a family sorta sense, but a lot less stressful thats for sure. Mad props to all of you guys for taking care of business though.

9/20/2007 3:33:21 PM

My purchases since August 24, 2007 (just checked)

24 bum genius diapers/inserts $360.00
Britax Companion $229.00 on sale
Britax Marathon $249.00 on sale
Double electric pump $199.00 on sale
2 boppys and covers $80.00
Eddie Bauer window clings $5.00 lol

9/20/2007 3:39:14 PM

Yeah, you definitely have to make sure you are ready for it.

Times get rough sometimes, but my kids are the most rewarding thing in my life. And I wouldn't trade them for any amount of money.

9/20/2007 3:39:16 PM

Quote :

"24 bum genius diapers/inserts $360.00"

$15/diaper??? I should hope that was 24 boxes/packs of diapers or something....

9/20/2007 4:25:33 PM

nope, it was 15 bucks per diaper. he goes through about 8 per day but you can wash them. these 24 will hopefully last until the end of the year.


[Edited on September 20, 2007 at 4:30 PM. Reason : .]

9/20/2007 4:28:57 PM

About money, you find a way to make it work. For us, we don't eat out nearly as much as we used to. Honestly even if we had unlimited money we still wouldn't eat out much because it's tough with a 15 month old. Just not worth all the hassle when you can feed her at home, then let her play with her toys when she's done. Not that we never get to go out, we just don't go every other night now.

I'd say that I'm faring better than my parents did at this point though. My parents were nearing 19 years old when I was born and no college education. By comparison I probably make more than what both of my parents were making when I was born. We both have degrees and had a house for a couple years before our daughter was born. Also thanks to technology today we can both work from home when needed in case something comes up.

9/20/2007 10:16:05 PM

you our generations kids are expected to reach puberty at an average age of 9

9/21/2007 12:21:54 AM

Quote :

"Yeah, you definitely have to make sure you are ready for it. Times get rough sometimes, but my kids are the most rewarding thing in my life. And I wouldn't trade them for any amount of money."

Definitely. I wasn't ready when I found out, but I made myself ready.

I love my son. No doubt. Maybe not when he's 16 and defiant, but before and later on, yes.

9/21/2007 12:28:23 AM

i wish daycare was $600.

ours is $1000. well, its gone down to $930 since hes moved up a class recently. when he was <1 year, it was $1600/mo.

we have a friend who has two kids in daycare. $1000 each. $2000/mo. you dont get a break for buying in bulk... what you get is preferential admission (jump to the front of the waiting list line) for your additional children.

9/21/2007 12:42:53 AM

I'm just glad my parents volunteered to watch my son while I'm working.

I don't have to "pay" for care so to speak, but I pay in other ways.

It's a fantastic deal.

I'd suggest it if you have parents like mine.

[Edited on September 21, 2007 at 1:20 AM. Reason : He'll def. go to daycare/preschool soon though, for development and socialization.]

9/21/2007 1:19:43 AM

^^Yeah, I don't know where these people are getting daycare for $600/month. Is this like half-day daycare?

For a project, I called around and couldn't find any place for less than $900, and those weren't exactly top notch...

[Edited on September 21, 2007 at 2:27 AM. Reason : sss]

9/21/2007 2:25:09 AM

^^ my parents live outside Charlotte. its kind of hard to get babysitters to travel 3000 miles.

9/21/2007 3:17:07 AM

yea the place we're signed up for is about $1000/month for infants. Hope Valley Preschool on 54 in Durham.
I called around and visited others but couldn't find one for less than $800/month and they were farther away. This one is right around the corner from my work so dropping her off will be easy.

We have a spare bedroom that has it's own bathroom and a den/bonus room next to it.
I wish I had a family member or good friend that could move in and get free rent in exchange for watching her during the day. That would be perfect.

9/21/2007 10:53:41 AM

I cried when I was leaving for work today. Baby will be one month old on Sunday and mom is bored staying at home all day.

9/21/2007 11:04:02 AM

So, are there any super cheap parents out there - no day care, cloth diapers, breast feeding, etc.? - My wife and I are talking about kids and we're trying to figure out how much extra it will cost us per month.

Any input?

sd2nc - those diapers look pretty cool. How are they different from cloth ones?

9/21/2007 11:17:00 AM

They expand to fit different size babies-ie he can wear the same diapers for like 6 months. They have a velcro closure which makes changing easier. they aren't hard to wash either. The regular cloth diapers need pins or special snaps. From first hand experience, you don't want to deal with pins at 2:00 AM when you are half asleep.

My wife breastfeeds only. Diapers were expensive but should be worth it if they last as long as they are supposed to.

We don't use day care and probably won't because we have a lot of family close

9/21/2007 11:24:31 AM

I plan on breastfeeding (cheaper and better for baby)

I've looked into cloth diapers some but am still undecided.

9/21/2007 11:29:56 AM

My wife and I pay $150/week. It is Wake Forest and it soon to be a 5 star center. They used to operate in there house and moved to Heritage in April. We love them. The have a live camera so i can watch the little man whenver i want. We also consider ourselves very lucky to pay what we do. Everyother center (Wakefield, Heritage, and one other) are over 1k for less than 1yr old

My wife breast fed for 1 week but since she had a reduction she couldn't produce enough and that made for crappy nights until we figured out he was hungry. We switched to formula and he is a happy camper...we do make our own solid food. Gerber food is very expensive compare to making it yourself.

[Edited on September 21, 2007 at 11:35 AM. Reason : .]

9/21/2007 11:32:31 AM

for the reusable diaper deal - i assume you just wash the 8 at the end of the day - what kind of disposal do you have to do to make those things ready to throw into the washing machine - also did you bother to estimate how much extra water/electricity you would spend in washing/drying an extra load every day or 2?

9/21/2007 11:33:57 AM

We have a sink in our laundry room. Once the diaper comes off, we get it wet in the sink and then throw it in a pail-we do wash every other day. With the dipes we just do a quick wash and let them air dry.

Probably use about 16 oz. of water for each diaper to get the poo off.

[Edited on September 21, 2007 at 11:42 AM. Reason : .]

9/21/2007 11:40:41 AM

Quote :

"But it does get easier. I really enjoy them as they get older. My kid can already give me a run for the money on Gamecube and some PC games. Think Santa might be bringing us a Wii this Christmas."

sounds like youre having a great time

9/21/2007 11:49:12 AM

My husband and I did the math on cloth/insert diapering vs. disposable diapering. Cloth diapering is only more expensive initially, but cheaper in the long run. You're talking about several hundred start up dollars vs. thousands spent on disposables. The laundering expenses don't even touch what you spend on disposables. And then when you get into ecological concerns. . .you would not believe the amount of non-biodegradable garbage that comes from disposable diapers.

After nearly 10 years in the childcare business, the last few as a professional nanny, I can tell you that children can be as cheap or as expensive as you make them.

9/21/2007 2:51:13 PM

^I make all of my children using spare parts, and they end up being much cheaper than the designer models.

9/21/2007 2:52:14 PM

*snorts*

According to that philosophy, my husband and I are making bargain bin children with flawed parts (ie. baby's cleft lip).

9/21/2007 2:55:22 PM

There are some things that it is much easier to be cheap with than others; clothes for instance. I don't think I paid more than .50 for any single piece of clothing for either of my children before they hit about 4. After that I got extravagant and went up to 2.00! Woot

Especially if you are staying at home, breastfeeding, and using cloth diapers, you've pretty much taken care of the bulk of spending for small children. If you aren't lucky enough to be able to breastfeed (for whatever reason, it happens), don't be cheap with formula though.

Of course you have the bigger care items; carseats, cribs, so on, but for the most part you can find used ones for good prices. Just make sure to investigate the newest safety standards before you buy anything. For instance, buying a used carseat is generally not a good idea, my kids are 18 months apart and by the time my daughter was able to use my son's old one, it was too old to be considered safe by the newest standards.

And making your own baby food is awesome. I never used any of the toddler food, so I can't go either way with that. My kids turned out just fine without it.

9/21/2007 3:18:41 PM

Def. don't buy a car seat used-I don't think places are even allowed to sell them used.
And don't buy the cheapest one at Target either. The kid has to spend a lot of time in there

9/21/2007 3:22:39 PM

Amen.

If you're going to spend money on anything, let it be on items of frequent daily long term use and/or safety items. My husband and I shelled it out for our stroller and our car seat, but we've spent barely anything else on the clothing, crib, and other baby stuffs because so much of it is used for a brief period if at all.

And FYI: if you cannot breastfeed for a medical reason (like our baby's cleft) many insurance plans will cover the cost of renting a hospital grade breast pump because it falls under durable medical equipment.

9/21/2007 3:29:53 PM

You have not lived until you see a woman pump milk. I didn't think nipples could get that big/round

9/21/2007 3:37:22 PM

you have not lived until you've had cowgirl sex with your lactating wife.

9/21/2007 6:39:32 PM

Quote :

"You have not lived until you see a woman pump milk. I didn't think nipples could get that big/round "

Quote :

"you have not lived until you've had cowgirl sex with your lactating wife."

Boobs are amazing things ...

Maybe I could convince my wife to buy a Blendtec blender ... in order to make baby food, of course.

9/21/2007 6:54:09 PM

Quote :

"don't be cheap with formula though. "

cheap with formula? target and walmart brand formula is just as good if not better than similac and enfamil.

are there other brands that are worse?

hell even walmart had enfamil on clearance the other day. those big tins were $1.00 a can.
--------

about diapers. even though i'll be flamed for this; i thought about using the expensive reusable ones, but the studies and opinions of other parents showed me that other than the environment, better engineered diapers were the way to go. the only way i'd use the cloth kind (like my parents did for me) is if i had a washer that had a sanitize heat setting and mine didn't. i didn't have the bank roll to buy another washer and by the time i did, it wasn't worth the effort. i know someone is going to chime in with "keep your water heater turned up", but that's a burn hazard and wastes energy.

we received a lot of hand-me-downs, but the ones we used most often were the new clothes provided by friends and family. the most expensive clothing item i've purchased was a $25 cold suit for the baby (last winter).

if anyone is interested, i've got a lot of leftover kids stuff.

latest model medela pump in style breast pump, bottle brushes, wash tub, vibrating chair, etc...

i'll give you a sweet deal.

[Edited on September 21, 2007 at 8:26 PM. Reason : schweet]

9/21/2007 8:25:34 PM

Cheap with formula meaning don't be afraid to use a more expensive brand if your child might do better on it.

Similac can be really rough on kids. Not making them ill, just excess gas, spitting up (and if you are a first time parent, you might not realize that it's excess), so on.

I used Good Start. My kids did better on it than any other kind, and I was forever getting coupons through their magazine.
___________

Also, my son lost his first tooth the other day. Inflation sucks for the tooth fairy.

[Edited on September 21, 2007 at 8:47 PM. Reason : more]

9/21/2007 8:31:53 PM

good thing i used the off brands and didn't have a problem.

9/21/2007 8:54:09 PM

Ha. Figures too. Granted, this was a while ago.... I'm getting old now.

9/21/2007 9:11:23 PM

Quote :

"24 bum genius diapers/inserts $360.00"

those seem pretty nifty. do the diapers hold the smell at all, though?

9/21/2007 9:32:06 PM