How do you divvy up holidays with you significant other if you are from different home towns/ states? Does one get Thanksgiving and the other Christmas or do you do the every other year thing? How hard was it to decide which family you spend these holidays?

8/14/2007 12:03:45 PM

lol lounge my bad

[Edited on August 14, 2007 at 12:10 PM. Reason : dd]

[Edited on August 14, 2007 at 12:10 PM. Reason : dd]

8/14/2007 12:10:03 PM

one thing that has to be factored in is who has the crazier or more normal family hahah, seriously

8/14/2007 12:11:43 PM

We're pretty much doing alternate years or I'll go with my family for Thanksgiving and he'll go with his. But I think we'll end up spending more time with his family because of ^

8/14/2007 12:39:18 PM

i pretty much can tolerate anyone no matter how bad i think of them in my head

8/14/2007 12:41:34 PM

that's the perfect excuse to stay home....

8/14/2007 12:51:34 PM

We change up what happens every holiday depending upon our circumstances at the time (work/school/etc). This past Christmas I had to do early AM Santa stuff with my little sister, opened presents, ate breakfast, then we drove 5 hours and had dinner & holiday festivities at the other end of the state. Also, some families view certain holidays as being very important... others not so much, so that also weighs in on my decisions.

[Edited on August 14, 2007 at 12:57 PM. Reason : ]

8/14/2007 12:56:42 PM

Quote :

"one thing that has to be factored in is who has the crazier or more normal family hahah, seriously"

8/14/2007 12:59:12 PM

this is a conversation that should be handled on a case by case basis - everyone's situation is different and very rarely will anyone else's relate to your own...

both of our parents are about a 6-7hr drive from us - and they are about a 9hr drive from each other - we don't have a set plan for each holiday and it just depends on how it works out - she has 3 sibilngs and i have 4 - with half of the siblings on both sides married also - everyone has different amounts of vacation - coordinating family holidays is always interesting - we just try to make most people happy and have as many people there as possible

if this is really an issue you are having then i'm willing to bet you have a lot more too

8/14/2007 1:14:47 PM

We just figure it out. His mom is a nurse so she only has Tgiving or Xmas off, never both. This year will be a bit easier. My parents are buying a house in Raleigh, so we'll be spending Christmas here with them, and also going to his parents for Christmas. Just a matter of which family we spend with first.

But we were gonna spend Tgiving with his parents this year...though I don't think we are now. Which is a shame b/c I was really looking forward to going to Florida to spend it with his mom's side of the family. I've never met them.

[Edited on August 14, 2007 at 1:43 PM. Reason : ]

8/14/2007 1:41:13 PM

My parents live in Raleigh so they get the bulk of the holidays. My wife's family is in Rochester, NY so we rarely get up there. This year we will be doing Christmas in NY. I'm always down here for Thanksgiving but every other year my wife will fly up to NY on her own. Last year my wife's mother and brother spent Christmas down here so we havbe a rotation of about 3 thing (us up there, them down here, and neither travels. I have a much more stable family so she actually prefers being at my family's events simple because there isn't the drama. She can only handle being around her extended family for about 3 days at a time.

8/14/2007 1:55:13 PM

Quote :

"if this is really an issue you are having then i'm willing to bet you have a lot more too "

It's not an issue, I was just wondering how everyone else did it. When it's the first time you're thinking about something like this, you wonder what everyone else does.

8/14/2007 2:31:50 PM

My husband's mom died and my dad died...his dad's side of the family is crazy as hell so we just spend every holiday with my mom.

8/14/2007 2:52:36 PM

My boyfriend's parents live about 5 hours away, and my folks live about an hour away.

Thanksgiving we usually do both, my mom has always had Thanksgiving lunch, and then his folks are usually pretty flexible with Thanksgiving, in other words they do it on Friday or whenever we can get up there. We usually stay the whole weekend after.

I missed Christmas at my folks house this past year, for the first time ever, but Christmas is not usually as big a deal at my house as it is his house (more family comes in, etc). Plus, he is an only child, so it would be hard to ask him to miss Christmas at his house. I'd hate to miss two Christmases in a row, so I hope we can arrange it so that we can be at my house this christmas.

My mom has always had "Santa Claus" and breakfast at her house early Christmas morning, but I talked to her about changing this year because we are all older and have our own households now, and have to come from all over. Not to mention my brother's kid is getting older and I'm sure they want to do early morning Santa stuff with my niece. I hate to mess with Christmas traditions, but times change.

8/14/2007 3:26:23 PM

Our families live like 7 miles apart back in our hometown, so it makes things MAD easy.

Other couples I knew really fight about this, but I've noticed one thing: the woman always wins, so the guy's parents are always pissed at the wife & the other parents. No experience on how to overcome this, though (thankfully).

[Edited on August 14, 2007 at 3:46 PM. Reason : .]

8/14/2007 3:43:44 PM

so far, it looks like if/when we ever go visit his parents, it'll be thanksgiving, since he hates xmas w/ his parents. They're in kansas too.

So far he's fine w/ hanging out w/ my family during the holidays.

8/14/2007 6:21:22 PM

My family was VERY adamant last year that they wouldn't "allow" me to spend all of christmas with his family until there was a ring Christmas is a BIG DEAL in my family.

In addition to being less uptight and more fun, his family is in chicago. Sure beats Angier
I flew from RDU to Chicago Christmas day last year.
Told my mom last week that when he drives up after my bday (12/21), I was going with him.

It's a little complicated because his parents are divorced, so there are really three families and locations to consider.

8/14/2007 8:41:03 PM

For us, it's just a matter of time constraints. Since my husband has less time off for Thanksgiving than Christmas, we spend Thanksgiving with my family because they are closer and Christmas with his family. My family is really cool about not seeing me for Christmas and I usually try to see them for a few days prior to Christmas to exchange gifts. This past Christmas, my entire family just decided to celebrate Christmas a few weeks early because I would be in town and it made things easier on my other married sibling.

8/14/2007 8:48:42 PM

this one is easy for me because my parents don't celebrate holidays

8/15/2007 9:26:36 AM

Last Year - Thanksgiving her family, Christmas my family

This Year - Thanksgiving my family, Christmas her family

We usually see both sets around those times of year, but we spend the specific day with those families.

8/15/2007 10:24:29 AM

whatever you do, don't get guilted into eating two T-day dinners. my brother-in-law is in this situation with his wife's family and they don't seem to really enjoy either. in the beginning, it seems like a his family/her family split, but you will also want to have your own family traditions, and there are siblings to consider as well. we vary it and neither one of us is with our families as much, but that is part of growing up and leaving the nest.

8/15/2007 11:10:09 AM

What's wrong with 2 dinners?

8/15/2007 11:59:38 AM

^obviously you don't think like a girl

8/15/2007 9:50:18 PM

My parents live in Fayetteville, his live in Chapel Hill. For Thanksgiving we eat an early meal with my family and then drive to CH to have a dinner-time meal with his.

Christmas will be trickier this year. It's our first Christmas after being engaged so we'll see. Probably will spend Christmas Eve with his family and then drive to my family on Christmas morning or something like that.

8/16/2007 11:43:31 AM