A freind calls me today and tells me he has cancer. I respond by saying "good, I hope you die." In my defence I thought he was just fucking with me as he is prone to often doing. It's not the first time he's told me something like this, with the same level of seriousness, but this is the first time he wasn't pulling my chain. And to be honest he would probably have said something simmilar to me had our places been reversed. Anyway, it took him several minutes to convince me he was not full of shit (since he has convinced me a couple of times in the past of things and then revealed his ruse). Now I didn't feel I had done any thing wrong but my wife absolutely tore me a new asshole over it.

So I wanted to hear a some neutral opinions. Am I an asshole in this situation? Have at it.

6/8/2007 7:26:02 PM

No--he cried wolf too many times.

6/8/2007 7:28:30 PM

words

6/8/2007 7:32:17 PM

you're not an asshole, it's called irony

6/8/2007 7:40:13 PM

you probably had already cemented your status as an asshole long before this incident took place

6/8/2007 7:41:26 PM

^ Oh, I am an asshole no doubt. I just don't think I was under these circumstances.

6/8/2007 7:48:08 PM

If you truly didn't know, then you were not an asshole. However, in the future, you probably shouldn't joke about having cancer and shit.

6/8/2007 7:52:35 PM

First I thought you were an asshole but then I realized you weren't. He's cried wolf too many times and I'm sure he's fine with it and that you apologized or atleast hoped him well.

Your wife on the other-hand needs to be less controlling-- you are allowed to say whatever the hell you want to a friend of your's-- as long as he's ok with you and all is fine then she has no say whatsoever. If it was her friend I'd understand but being yelled at for a misunderstanding is rude.

6/8/2007 7:55:34 PM

Quote :

"you probably shouldn't joke about having cancer and shit"

6/8/2007 9:37:32 PM

Quote :

"No--he cried wolf too many times."

/thread

but, still sucks

6/8/2007 9:58:01 PM

To be clear, I was not joking about cancer. I don't think cancer is funny at all. Telling him "I hope you die," was my way of saying "your full of shit and I aint buyin it." He understands this because this is how we talk to eachother. I certainly would not have said this to anyone else who told me they have cancer.

6/8/2007 10:02:33 PM

you pretty much just have to explain that he got cancer because he pretended to do that shit before.

6/8/2007 10:13:53 PM

watch it be skin caner and easily fix'd.

6/8/2007 10:15:51 PM

Give him a copy of the Secret to make up for it. ahahahah

6/8/2007 10:23:03 PM

what kind of cancer was it anyways?? it's understandable though..you joke with your friend and he's done it before and been lying so why should you have believed him this time after he lied before?? not to sound like a dick towards your wife but sounds like a typical girl answer when they hear half of what you said.. i.e. "i said i hope he dies of cancer" vs "we've joked about this before, he's lied about it before..but this time it happens to be true and I made a comment i shouldn't have"

6/8/2007 10:29:31 PM

If he understands, what your wife says doesn't mean a goddamn thing.

6/8/2007 10:31:59 PM

He has leukemia. He didn't say how advanced it is, I figure I'll find that out when he wants to tell me. I value my wife's opinion, but I really don't feel I was wrong in this. But I always feel I am right and often end up being wrong. Hence all of this.

^^ No worries, I know you meant no disrespect to my wife.

6/8/2007 10:50:54 PM

Has he learned his lesson about crying wolf?

6/8/2007 10:53:39 PM

Somehow I'm fairly sure he has...

6/8/2007 10:56:46 PM

I bet he got a kick out of it.

I don't think you were unacceptably assholish.

6/8/2007 11:17:12 PM

Quote :

"but I really don't feel I was wrong in this"

well sure, assholes rarely feel wrong or bad about what they say

I can't believe your first response was "good, I hope you die." I'd much rather be flat out tricked when I ask "Seriously?" than have to be such a dick immediately. Good lord, man, be a decent human being.

[Edited on June 8, 2007 at 11:32 PM. Reason : That said, I really hope you did a lot of apologizing.]

6/8/2007 11:23:45 PM

^ I think you don't understand this man very well. Say I were to go with your choice of words and said "serously?" His response would have been something to the effect of, "what kind of cock-smoking pussy are you?" We constantly berate eachother, yet are the closest of freinds. We fought together in Afghanistan and Iraq and have a deeper understanding of eachother than most people will ever know. Names like dickhead, twat-smoker, cunt-face, shit-eater, are all terms of endearment.

He got out of the Corps about a year before I did. When I got out he called me and told me he had over that year discovered he was gay and had contracted HIV. I of course did not believe him (and responed in a much less harsh way than this time) but over a matter of weeks he convinced me he was telling the truth upon which I told him that although this was difficult for me to try and understand, I would be there for him. He then began laughing and proceeded to berate me and call me a fagget for the next hour.

I readily admit to being an asshole, but knowing what he is capable of, do you still think I am an asshole for this?

[Edited on June 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM. Reason : I did not apologize, nor would he want me too. If I had he would have called me a pussy.]

[Edited on June 9, 2007 at 12:02 AM. Reason : .]

6/8/2007 11:55:22 PM

Quote :

"I readily admit to being an asshole, but knowing what he is capable of, do you still think I am an asshole for this?"

Why are you asking us if you're an asshole when you know you said the wrong thing, regardless of his previous behavior? And I think everyone has a friend like that. Either way, your initial reaction to anyone telling you something so serious shouldn't be telling him to die.

Why are you scared to be pussy by apologizing? He's got cancer for fuck's sake.

[Edited on June 9, 2007 at 12:03 AM. Reason : .]

6/9/2007 12:03:13 AM

I think you misunderstood me, I am an asshole in general. However I don't feel I was being one in this situation. I don't think I said anything wrong. And you clearly lack an understanding of the bonds formed in combat, most people don't have freinds like that. Or were you saying that most people have a friend who lied to them for weeks about having AIDS as a joke? I don't believe that either. I'm not afraid to apologize, I just don't feel the need. That's not what he wants. I think he just wants me to treat him as I normally would instead of the pity-party most people will heap on him. Thats why he called me, he expected that reaction.

I do appreciate your input though. It's good to hear different opinions. Although I'm not yet convinced, it's possible I could have been wrong. That's why I'm asking.

6/9/2007 12:25:02 AM

Quote :

"I of course did not believe him (and responed in a much less harsh way than this time) but over a matter of weeks he convinced me he was telling the truth upon which I told him that although this was difficult for me to try and understand, I would be there for him. He then began laughing and proceeded to berate me and call me a fagget for the next hour."

haha, that's hilarious

6/9/2007 12:26:20 AM

haha this would be gold if he was still fucking with you

6/9/2007 12:30:31 AM

^^Yeah, I wasn't even pissed at him. It was pretty funny.

[Edited on June 9, 2007 at 12:31 AM. Reason : ^]

6/9/2007 12:31:01 AM

Quote :

"Or were you saying that most people have a friend who lied to them for weeks about having AIDS as a joke?"

More like what you said earlier:

Quote :

"Names like dickhead, twat-smoker, cunt-face, shit-eater, are all terms of endearment."

Of course I have friends that do nothing but joke with me. But if one of them told me they had cancer, even if it was in jest, my first reaction would never EVER be "Oh, well great, I hope you die!"

6/9/2007 12:32:41 AM

i had luekemia once, it sucked

6/9/2007 12:33:33 AM

^^And neither would mine with anyone but this guy. He has a history of bullshiting about serious things and that's how we talk to eachother. I guess we can agree to dissagree.

^I'm glad you pulled through.

[Edited on June 9, 2007 at 12:41 AM. Reason : .]

6/9/2007 12:37:06 AM

you're "glad"? way to have feelings, you LOSER

6/9/2007 1:02:45 AM

I'm sorry, was "glad" not good enough? Was it not sensitive enough for you? Am I not emotionally available enough for you? I guess I just didn't realize how important our relationship is to you.

Tell you what, we'll go on the mends. Why don't you come over tonight and we'll really get our feelings out in the open. I'll pick up a bottle of wine and we'll spoon on the couch and just talk all night. I'll even let you be the big spoon. What do ya say there sugar-britches?

[Edited on June 9, 2007 at 1:50 AM. Reason : .]

6/9/2007 1:49:59 AM

6/9/2007 8:31:37 AM

Haha he's really pulled one over on you this time.

6/9/2007 10:28:23 AM

so what are the chances that he doesnt have cancer this time? is there a chance at all?

6/9/2007 10:34:27 AM

damn.


nope, not an asshole.

6/9/2007 10:37:45 AM

Quote :

"watch it be skin caner and easily fix'd."

Skin cancer isn't always "easily fixed."

Melanoma can spread rapidly throughout the body.

6/9/2007 10:42:19 AM

yeah, but he said skin caner

maybe he got caught chewing gum in Singapore.

6/9/2007 11:37:53 AM

could've been working in a sugar cane field as well

6/9/2007 11:39:37 AM

Quote :

"No--he cried wolf too many times."

And of course your wife will overreact irrationally.

6/9/2007 12:36:45 PM

Cancer is not funny at all. Except the word itself, if you say it right.

6/9/2007 1:37:15 PM

he's probably still joking and just wants to be an asshole by keeping up the storyline until you start believing him.

6/9/2007 1:41:07 PM

No, you honestly thought he was joking, as he had done this before.

If you KNEW he had cancer and then said this... yeah, you'd be a big ass.

6/9/2007 2:44:31 PM

"good, I hope you die."

You're not an asshole, you're fucking hillarious.

6/9/2007 3:08:23 PM

He's not lying. I visited him at the hospital this mourning. Its definately Leukemia. It sucks, but whatchya gonna do?

6/9/2007 3:08:51 PM

The fact he lied about having HIV and being gay for weeks just to bait you like that pretty much opens the door to him lying about anything.

Other possible conversations that would be completely appropriate:
"My mother died"
"About time. I'm sick of her whoring around and spreading disease"

"I got a girl pregnant"
"Kick her in the stomach, we don't need more of you"

6/9/2007 5:24:18 PM

ok so i didnt read most of the thread.. but from my experience i would just ask the dude if he was pissed at you.. if he says no, and that he agreed he had pulled your chain too many times then dont worry about it.

6/10/2007 12:33:36 AM

Didn't read the thread.

But, no, that does not make you an asshole. I can't imagine how you think it would make you an asshole unless you seriously meant it and hated the guy or something. Otherwise, it's just friendly banter gone wrong. Tell your wife to go fuck herself.

One time, there was a meningitis (?) scare at my school. My best friend had just broken up with her boyfriend, and she was melodramatic talking about how she was literally sick over it--throwing up and couldn't eat and all this bullshit. There were, like, seven girls (most not her friends) fawning all around her while she moaned about the break-up at a basketball game, and I was sorta sitting to the side, getting wasted alone as usual, and I was just getting so annoyed that finally I said, "Maybe you got meningitis..." She ran out crying, and all those loser bitches thought I was the devil.

6/10/2007 1:36:24 AM

not an asshole

6/10/2007 10:52:10 AM

it might still be a ruse. he's laughing at this thread right now.

[Edited on June 10, 2007 at 10:54 AM. Reason : he paid off the hospital]

6/10/2007 10:53:39 AM