I read through the old topic but unfortunately it was too old to bttt so please excuse the creation of a new one.

So I have plans to meet a girl for lunch this weekend. I just met her last weekend and we don't really know each other that well so I'm not sure how formal it will end up being. All I really need to know is it is the norm for the guy to pay for a first time lunch type thing? I of course don't mind paying but I don't wanna look like I am a baller or like I am trying to impress her with money or whatever. On the other hand if it is the norm for the guy to pay, I don't wanna look like a jew.

8/25/2006 12:37:20 AM

I think it is the norm for the guy to pay for the first date always. From then on it's kinda iffy...

8/25/2006 12:38:19 AM

Pick up the check, but if she asks to pay for her own shit then let her.

Or slap her. I can never remember which one it is.

8/25/2006 12:40:39 AM

Offer to pay. If she's offended or not "traditional" or whatever then she will decline the offer. I just had this happen to me last night. From a guy's perspective it seems a bit weird to not be paying, but I can see the reasons why she might not feel comfortable accepting your offer.

[Edited on August 25, 2006 at 12:42 AM. Reason : yeah what he said^]

8/25/2006 12:42:27 AM

don't let her pay, she doesn't want to. if she asks to, she is only offering because she REALLY likes you and wants to show you she is considerate.

8/25/2006 12:42:33 AM

Oh obviously pay for your half of the meal at the very least.

8/25/2006 12:45:03 AM

if you invited her out then you should probably pay

you have to roll up and pull out a stack of 20's and give the waitress a $100 tip

but if you dont pay it kind of makes you look like a douchebag

8/25/2006 12:48:27 AM

the solution is to just fuck her before you get to the restaurant

8/25/2006 12:50:33 AM

See if she pulls out money and be like, "Hey, I've got this."

8/25/2006 12:51:36 AM

I've changed my mind.

Insist that she pay for the meal. That'll show 'er who's boss.

8/25/2006 12:57:37 AM

Tradition says you are supposed to pay. Most likely she will expect you to, or at the very least to offer. Don't pull any of this "wait to see if she offers" bull shit. Just expect to pay.

My date last night informed me before we were served that she would be paying for her half and there was nothing I could do to stop her. I'll admit it felt weird asking for seperate checks, but it was her choice and I didn't want to make a big deal of it.

Bottom line, unless she feels weird letting you pay for dinner, in which case she will tell you, expect to be paying.

8/25/2006 12:58:55 AM

haha dude, you will meet like 2 "nontraditional" girls in your entire life. pay for the damn meal, don't think about it.

and if she actually gets angry that you paid the bill, then i think i'd be a little more worried about her than lunch

8/25/2006 3:59:01 AM

Payment for lunch is the least of your concerns. You need to get busy making flashcards to prompt yourself for interesting conversation if your date goes anything like your posts, son.


Jews are ballin', and some would buy every one of us in here lunch if we asked. I am so sick of that term being used to describe a redneck characterizing himself as stingy.

[Edited on August 25, 2006 at 4:25 AM. Reason : ]

8/25/2006 4:23:53 AM

yeah dont you hate stereotypes

people who use them are fucking idiots

[Edited on August 25, 2006 at 9:07 AM. Reason : *]

8/25/2006 9:06:46 AM

Quote :

"Bottom line, unless she feels weird letting you pay for dinner, in which case she will tell you, expect to be paying."

8/25/2006 9:11:20 AM

Where are you going to lunch?

8/25/2006 9:43:58 AM

did you ask her to lunch?

If so, definetly.


If she did, you should still plan on it.

[Edited on August 25, 2006 at 9:46 AM. Reason : if she sucks at life, get up and leave her with the tab]

8/25/2006 9:46:14 AM

Aha. My Wife still gives me shit about me not paying for her half on our first "date". I asked her to lunch, but I didn't really consider it a date. Just a getting-to-know-you type thing. At any rate, maybe I should have paid in retrospect, but I was a poor college student at the time and it seems to have worked out ok for me. If she would have gotten uppity about me not paying at the time, I would have dropped her like a bad habit.

Go dutch. Consider it a test. If she rolls with it and is still cool with you, she is a keeper. If she gets pissed, you don't need that kind of high maintenance chick.

8/25/2006 10:54:58 AM

I wouldn't call expecting a guy to pay for the first date "high maintenance."

8/25/2006 11:37:06 AM

also

isnt a date essentially

a getting-to-know-you type thing?

8/25/2006 11:39:44 AM

whatever man, you KNOW shes getting a regular old hamburger and NOT a cheeseburger if youre payin.

8/25/2006 11:41:03 AM

oh dude, this is easy: pay for yourself

8/25/2006 11:41:22 AM

my lord, there are some cheap bastards on here.

8/25/2006 11:49:06 AM

just pay for your own

8/25/2006 12:09:40 PM

buy her the big mac value meal, but if the bitch wants to supersizse that shit, she better be letting you hit that shit later that day

8/25/2006 12:10:41 PM

Hahaha she asked me out to lunch. I'll plan on paying unless she makes a big deal about it. We haven't decided where to go yet, I'm supposed to call her later today to work that out. Thanks for the help guys.

oh and to the dude who says I'm a redneck or whatever, I am pretty much the polar opposite of a redneck.

8/25/2006 12:14:20 PM

he's a limey!

8/25/2006 12:21:43 PM

yankee?

8/25/2006 12:37:18 PM

Quote :

"I wouldn't call expecting a guy to pay for the first date "high maintenance.""

No, it's not. But getting pissed about and/or letting you know thats what she expects is. Like I said, my wife still gives me shit about it because she expected me to pay but I didn't.

Quote :

"also isnt a date essentially a getting-to-know-you type thing?"

I guess I should have been clearer. For me, I have a date which is a getting to know you romantically thing. And a regular lunch, which is a getting to know you as a person thing. I guess its all in your intentions going in though.

8/25/2006 12:57:47 PM

why lunch and not dinner? day dates always suck..no chance of sex happening fo rizzle

8/25/2006 6:57:23 PM

why don't you just meet her at a damn bar like normal people do

8/25/2006 7:00:57 PM

^^ You are obviously not familar with Afternoon Delight

8/25/2006 7:04:14 PM

Quote :

"Aha. My Wife still gives me shit about me not paying for her half on our first "date". "

there ya go, no need to pay.

8/25/2006 7:17:03 PM

He'll be paying for the rest of his life, lol

8/25/2006 8:49:07 PM

Eh, so how was it?

8/28/2006 2:49:10 PM

Easy: pay for lunch, give her gas money for her trip over, and then give her cab fare if need be in the mornin.

Stop being a cheapskate and pay.

8/28/2006 2:51:50 PM

Quote :

"don't let her pay, she doesn't want to. if she asks to, she is only offering because she REALLY likes you and wants to show you she is considerate"

8/28/2006 2:55:20 PM

Quote :

"Hahaha she asked me out to lunch. "

Wouldn't that constitute that you each pay separate? Either that or she wears the pants on this one and pays for both, in which you get supersize big mac meal with diet coke.

8/28/2006 5:01:15 PM

Quote :

"Pick up the check, but if she asks [strongly insists] to pay for her own shit then let her."

8/28/2006 6:18:48 PM

Wraith look man skip all the pet talk, and tell her over the radio

WE NEED ARTILLERY HERE SIR

8/28/2006 6:32:40 PM

^hahaha it took me a second to figure out what you were talking about there.

8/29/2006 5:31:48 PM

Quote :

"From a guy's perspective it seems a bit weird to not be paying, but I can see the reasons why she might not feel comfortable accepting your offer."

ya, she doesn't want you to think she likes you

8/29/2006 6:37:01 PM

When the check comes, ask her if it's OK for you to pay - if she says no, don't argue any more than a simple "Are you sure?" then drop it if she insists

8/29/2006 7:29:49 PM

that's all that I'm saying

8/30/2006 9:32:03 AM

Funny story...
I went on a date while I was back in Asheville for a week and I went to meet this hottie for dinner and a movie. Turns out, while getting ready I forgot to put my wallet in the pair of shorts I put on. We got all the way through dinner and then I realized it when it was time to pay. That night I got to be the girl because she bought dinner and the movie. DOH!

Needless to say that was our only date.

8/30/2006 2:09:20 PM

watch out, you will get sucked into paying for everything if you don't come to an agreement.

my freshman year i spent $1000 just in the first semester taking my woman out to eat. And then she complained when I didn't want to go anywhere the next semester. she wondered why i didn't have any money left.

8/30/2006 7:48:44 PM

Quote :

" i spent $1000 just in the first semester taking my woman out to eat."

You've got to keep your woman in check.

Make a tacit agreement that puts her performance on an economy too. You can't shower her with gifts. She has to feel it and compensate you on a scale based on how much you provide for her.

Yes, you can get creative. Making a system/economy in the relationship keeps her demands in check.

8/30/2006 7:55:50 PM

She came out with me for trivia at the Flying Saucer on Tuesday (and had a great time hanging out with me and my friends) and she put up a stubborn fight to pay for her stuff but I stole the check from the waitress and ran away which allowed it to go into a kind of playful type deal. All is good.

8/30/2006 8:23:52 PM

Quote :

"which allowed it to go into a kind of playful type deal"

AWWWW ISN'T THAT CUTE

8/31/2006 9:23:48 AM