and I'm dying inside. how do you treat being LOVESICK?

she's looking for a new place . . . we own our condo together . . . it's no longer working out.

11/21/2005 1:10:42 PM

begwe

11/21/2005 1:13:17 PM

I AM CRYING MY EYES OUT

REALLY

11/21/2005 1:13:46 PM

that sucks man im sorry

11/21/2005 1:15:17 PM

give her a new kitten, that might help patch up the relationship for another month or 2

11/21/2005 1:27:07 PM

ive got an idea....how about make another thread about it.

11/21/2005 1:28:08 PM

Dude, why are you whining so hard about this? Lets recap just a little bit...


Remembering you shortly admitted you were the hypothetical friend on this one

Quote :

"hypothetically a friend of mine cheated on his girlfriend (3) times, but never got caught and never admitted to cheating. she however did get caught and admitted to an affair she had with one guy after months of denial. are they even? and should this be worked out or is the damage beyond repair. the guy is ready to forgive because well he's done the same before, but she is deeply affected by the guilt of her cheating and would rather not continue as she feels undeserving of her partner."

Quote :

"it's at one of those stages where it's now or never. it could end or it could carry on and I'm considering proposing. i do want to, but also I think i should so there won't be any doubts left."

And when you killed her cat

Quote :

" WTF do I do now? & how do I hide the fucking blood and the body?"

Quote :

"I meet someone new and me and my gf live together: me and the gf aren't on the best of terms - so I went fishing. I found an awesome chick. she's really cute, sweet & very girly-like. thing is she lives in a separate set of condos on the same street as mine. this could get pretty sticky. at one point my gf opted to move out - should I revisit that? should I quit this new relationship? or should I continue on and if I get caught FUCK IT?"

Quote :

"she's great. she's haitian, half asian and half french. she's a real cutie and really affectionate. we hold hands and hug constantly, which before was something i'd never do in public. but the thing that sucks is every minute i'm with her i'm thinking about my soon to be ex - who's presently searching for another place to live and has detached herself from our relationship. i need advice people. i'm going through a crisis. "

11/21/2005 1:38:03 PM

aren't you the guy that roamed parking lots looking for random people to have sex with?

you made a thread about it, how people hung out in parking lots flashing their headlights or something.

11/21/2005 1:41:03 PM

wtf chuck?

11/21/2005 1:42:29 PM

i'm guessing now things with the other girl aren't working either, so now you're sad and alone. Well, my advice is

you did this to yourself so quit yer bitchin

someone embed "cry me a river" please

11/21/2005 1:54:54 PM

did you atleast have sex with her one last time

11/21/2005 1:55:30 PM

yeah, but that was weeks ago.

11/21/2005 2:02:07 PM

don't move in with a woman until you two can commit to marriage

11/21/2005 2:22:21 PM

Quote :

"we own our condo together "

You mean townhouse?

11/21/2005 2:26:12 PM

Dude, how many threads are you going to make about this?

11/21/2005 2:27:06 PM

we own a "condo" in Miami together. "my" townhome is in NC.

11/21/2005 2:39:10 PM

Quote :

"it's no longer working out."

BITCH NEEDS TO HIDE THE CAT

11/21/2005 2:42:10 PM

he killed her cat?

thread?

11/21/2005 3:42:26 PM

haha yea, id like to know what you ever did with that damn cat.

11/21/2005 4:48:41 PM

the cats missing G. hasn't been found. not certain if I should get a new one or not. i've been a little too too nice lately. and in the midst of a break-up - i'm not sure if I should continue.

11/21/2005 5:08:24 PM

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

11/21/2005 5:26:15 PM

Quote :

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

11/21/2005 5:27:15 PM

Quote :

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

11/21/2005 6:14:50 PM

and I thought I was fucked up
lol... reading shit like this makes me feel better about my life.
just move on.... I'm sure that if you can feel fine about cheating on a girl that you are in a serious relationship with and live with her that you will do just fine without her.... obviously it wasn't that serious.

11/21/2005 9:32:03 PM

I feel your pain.

11/21/2005 9:37:08 PM

man you got issues.

11/21/2005 10:13:20 PM

Be honest with yourself. If you have to ask, then things probably weren't meant to be. Then, count your blessings. I'm assuming you haven't had a kid yet, so no long term harm done.

11/21/2005 10:19:17 PM

Quote :

"we own a "condo" in Miami together. "my" townhome is in NC."

In Apex right?

11/21/2005 10:33:54 PM

Wednesday morning at five o'clock as the day begings
Silently closing her bedroom door
Leaving the note that she hoped would say more
She goes downstairs to the kitchen clutching her hankerchief
Quietly turing the backdoor key
Stepping outside she is free

She (We gave her most of our lives)
Is leaving (Sacraficed most of our lives)
Home (We gave her everything money could buy)
She's leaving home after living alone
For so many years
Bye bye

Father snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown
Picks up the letter that's lying there
Standing alone at the top of the stairs
She breaks down and cries to her husband
Daddy our baby's gone
Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly?
How could she do this to me?

She (We never though of ourselves)
Is leaving (Never a thought for ourselves)
Home (We struggled hard all our lives to get by)
She's leaving home after living alone
For so many years
Bye bye

Friday morning at nine o'clock she is far away
Waiting to keep the appointment she made
Meeting a man from the motor trade

She (What did we do that was wrong)
Is having (We didn't know it was wrong)
Fun (Fun is the one thing that money can't buy)
Something inside that was always denied
For so many years
Bye bye

She's leaving home
Bye bye

11/21/2005 10:40:21 PM

Alright dude, I just went through this. She had a ring on her finger, a car in both of our names, and all that jazz. We were supposed to be married on Labor Day (of this year) and she found herself in Florida with her new boyfriend over Labor Day weekend. It sucks. It's horrible.

This is what you need to do:

1. Delete her phone number
2. Add her email address to your spam filter
3. Remove everything from your apartment that would bring about memories
4. Tell her you're not interested in being friends. She's not interested not matter what she says. You shouldn't be either
5. Pick up this book. It's a little "self-helpy" but it's good. "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalai Lama. It's eastern philosophy but you don't have to be buddhist to understand what he's trying to say.

It's been 5 months since my breakup and I'm actually doing pretty good. Yeah, it still hurts. It might for a while. But you could let this run your life or you can start controlling things. It's not easy. But you got to get a grip of the situation and make it constructive. Reverberating a famous line: "It's called a break up because it's broken." List your positive and negative emotions and see which list is longer. That should be your answer.

11/21/2005 11:32:21 PM

wise words

11/21/2005 11:37:22 PM

wow, at first I felt bad for you.

But as I read down the thread I changed my mind...

you need help/medication

11/22/2005 12:10:35 AM

wow abonorio good advice as for amsterdam718...i think it's you're own fault and i have NO pity for cheaters...

[Edited on November 22, 2005 at 12:18 AM. Reason : .]

11/22/2005 12:18:15 AM

what happened to your new lady friend? PDA Girl?

11/22/2005 12:40:23 AM

the new girl is cool, but I miss my babie. we still live together as she's finding a place, but we're so distant now. it's just strange. we had a talk yesterday and she no longer wants to be provided for basically. she's wants her own and well I love her enough to just let it go. i realized that last night . . .

if it's meant to be it will be ................... it's just really tough.

11/22/2005 9:16:38 AM

any hopes of getting back together need to be forgotten and put behind you

11/22/2005 9:33:14 AM

^ absolutely. This isn't easy for her either, mind you. SHe looks at the facts. You cheated on her. I don't think all the time in the world would ever get her to go back to that situation. You own a condo together and she views this as enough reason to pretty much call it quits. Forget about getting back together. That will only further your problems.

All you can do is learn from this. Realize that what you did drove her away. Realize all the pain that you caused the two of you and learn from it so it doesn't happen again. No amount of shrinks, no amount of medication, no amount of pointless, aimless sex will make you move on. It's up to you. It's up to you to change your mentality and change your outlook. I really recommend reading that book I mentioned above.

11/22/2005 10:25:47 AM

Quote :

"I love her enough to just let it go. i realized that last night . . ."

wrong. because you didn't love her enough to provide the most basic requirements of loyalty. Don't put these ideas in your head that you're the hero here. You're not doing anything noble by letting her go. She's walking out regardless of what you say or do. You're not letting anything go, you're watching.

Realize that. It's important.

11/22/2005 10:27:28 AM

i cheated, but she has no idea about it. let's get that part straight. also, I was an excellent guy to her. i was 110% percent. she feels she not able to give me the same now, etc . . . it's a long spill. point is she's looking for apartments today. she's out and the relationship is over. i can see us talking about bills, taxes and mail and stuff like that in the future thats about it. when I ask her about the future she says she doesn't know and can't say.

after another argument last night i realized there's nothing i can do to fix this. i have to let her go and just stop trying to make things right or work on it.

i'm willing to watch her leave now.

11/22/2005 10:40:26 AM

^What you mean to say is that you convinced her that you were 110% (or so you think). Because seriously dude, you cheated on her how many times? I would not call that 110%. You really need to stop talking like you are such a great guy and she can't bare to be with you because she's too horrible of a person. You dug your own fucking hole and you deserve everything that you're getting.

11/22/2005 10:44:51 AM

There you go. You've gotta let it go. I would beg to differ on the 110% part. Even if she didn't know about it, that has to be some deductions in points. I'm not dogging you, but it's important to realize that you fucked up there.

At this point, watch it happen, reflect on the whole ordeal, but most importantly, move on. Get it out of your head that you NEED her which you probably think you do.

11/22/2005 10:46:18 AM

wow... you haven't told her. you are even less of a man in that sense.
loyalty is 110%
she's lucky she's leaving you. and at least she had the decency to admit that she cheated.
you must be one of those guys that thinks that as long as you are buying everything for her and doing everything for her then the relationship is all right and you don't need to do anything else. Sounds like my husband... not someone worth being with.

11/22/2005 10:49:54 AM

^ how bout a date

11/22/2005 10:51:06 AM

you guys got it all wrong. i wouldn't even go as far to call what I did cheating. It was just sex and it happened early on in our relationship, which is why I forgave her ordeal. now her minds made up that she needs space, etc . . . and wants her independence and all. it's just that now I realized there's nothing I can do. I just have to let this thing play itself out. and I decided i'm no longer helping her with anything.

no more gifts, no more surprises, errands, cooking or even helping her move within the last few weeks of us living together. i'm going to just cut it all off and be done with it.

it's strange the only thing i've been doing the last couple of days is cleaning. now "I" have this massive condo and it's soon to be empty. not to mention I sold all of my furniture and kitchenware before the move down.

THIS SUCKS. i wish this on no man.

11/22/2005 11:06:20 AM

Quote :

"It was just sex"

No, I think we got it right. Dude, you don't need to find another relationship until you get it down that it's never just sex. That's betraying someone. I don't care how early it is. Don't defend yourself here. You HAVE to realize that you did do things wrong. If you sugar coat it, you'll never move on.

11/22/2005 11:16:26 AM

Quote :

"THIS SUCKS. i wish this on no man."

That's for sure. It does suck. It happens. I learned my lesson (I moved in with my soon to be wife before she did what she did). You have to make sure it's for real and even then, even if you're both wearing rings, this shit can still happen. But you can eliminate the odds of it happening by being the man you're supposed to be (and that's including "just sex" with other women).

11/22/2005 11:18:18 AM

it was what it was. i just want my girl back and it pains me that she's moving out and leaving me in limbo. she doesn't give a definite answer if we have a future together or not. but for now she says "this is something i have to do" when I infer that its over and we'll never speak again she shouts about me being so final about things.

i just hope there's a glimmer of hope. in her eyes, her friends, and her mothers i'm the greatest man ever and a once in a lifetime love. i'm just hoping that can save me. yes! i've fucked up in the past . . . but i know how hard it is to find a woman like I have now and it sucks bad. also I spoiled her to death during the relationship, which is apart of the problem i think.

long story .......... one day I'll write a full page for you b!tches to examine.

11/22/2005 11:21:13 AM

Ok, the limbo thing. Mine did this to me. And this is the best advice you have.

You're playing backup quarterback. You know you're first string but you're sitting the bench. The only way that you can continue to play backup quarterback and be miserable is if you sit there and take it. NOTHING stops you from walking off the field to play somewhere else (bobby washington should read this... replace qb with rb). The only way that she can continue to play her game is if you let her.

You're only in limbo if you want to be in limbo. Let her shout at you for being so final. Moving out of a condo is pretty final to me. Call her on it. Call her bluff (but you have to be strong about it). Speak in final terms. Maybe it'll make her realize it or maybe it'll facilitate the inevitable end and therefore sparing you limbo.

[Edited on November 22, 2005 at 11:27 AM. Reason : .]

11/22/2005 11:26:23 AM

Oh and the mother thing. Sara's mom told her that she was making the mistake of her life. I thought that her mom could "save" things too. Nope. Not going to happen. The only people that can save this is TWO willing people in you and her. That's it.

11/22/2005 11:28:03 AM

man up dude. tell her what you feel. lay it all on the table and then just walk away.

sucks it didn't work out for you. but you gotta realize, alot of what happenedhere seems like it was your fault. stop trying to make excuses. the sooner you realize this, the better off you will be.

11/22/2005 11:54:36 AM