http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/003296.html

Quote :

"The NY Post reports that pictures of Jude Law changing into a swimsuit outside his mother's house in France reveal that he has a small wiener. I'd say it more professionally, but I think small wiener really sums up everything you need to know. "He's no Tommy Lee, that's for sure," sighed one unimpressed publicist who viewed copies of the paparazzi pix obtained by PAGE SIX. Late yesterday afternoon, e-mail images of the photos were being forwarded around the offices of Women's Wear Daily under the headline "Jude in the Nude in France," and accompanied by a not-so-subtle dig at Law's loins: "Ha!" I haven't seen the pictures myself, but I'm just going to pretend that I have and say that his wiener was about 1.2" long. And I'm talking erect here, folks. Lord knows why he would have an erection after swimming outside his mother's home, but that's the story I've made up and I'm sticking to it. I don't want to imply that he has erotic feelings towards his own mother, but any man who cheats on his beautiful fiance with an ugly nanny isn't completely right in the head and probably has a small penis. Scratch that, definitely has a small penis. A 1.2" penis to be exact. *Update: Okay, so maybe 1.2" was slightly exaggerated. His penis does, however, look like a weird little monster. Some very NSFW pictures of the thing after the jump. "

8/18/2005 12:15:23 PM

damn them for not hotlinking

just copy / paste in the browser

8/18/2005 12:22:19 PM

it looks weird

8/18/2005 1:00:28 PM

don't care

8/18/2005 1:04:30 PM

A friend of mine pushed him down a flight of stairs at a bar in Charleston. Ah good times.

8/18/2005 1:14:01 PM

why would he do that?

8/18/2005 1:15:25 PM

b/c he has a small, ugly penis

8/18/2005 1:41:44 PM

He was down there filming Cold Mountain. My friend was standing at a bar at the top of a flight of stairs and Jude Law (who apparently is pretty tiny) was trying to push his way past him. He turned and threw an elbow at him and Jude went tumbling down the stairs. They had no idea who he was until he made it to the bottom.

8/18/2005 1:45:52 PM

1) it's pretty obvious he's uncircumcised. that's why it "looks weird".
2) anyone here or reporters who say he has a small, or anything other than a normal sized dick is likely compensating for themselves, attempting to make it sound like they are hung.

8/18/2005 2:00:12 PM

why did i HAVE to see jude law's penis

does this make me gay now?

8/18/2005 2:06:53 PM

That depends, do you want to see it again?

8/18/2005 2:40:59 PM

poor jude...at least he is still hot...but his penis isn't

8/18/2005 2:46:38 PM

grower not a shower

8/18/2005 2:46:49 PM

hahahahahahaha wow it's so tiny. It's like 15 inches shorter than mine! And I only consider my dick to be average size!!! hahahahahahahahaomg

8/18/2005 2:53:13 PM

dude, what makes them think that's erect? wouldn't the foreskin be pulled back if he had a hard on?



regardless- boys look funny naked.

8/18/2005 3:01:40 PM

^ see

Quote :

"I haven't seen the pictures myself, but I'm just going to pretend that I have and say that his "

8/18/2005 3:46:50 PM

that's def not an erect uncircumcized penis

8/18/2005 4:12:44 PM

THERE WAS SHRINKAGE

8/18/2005 4:37:30 PM

OMG HIS PENIS IS SO SMALL I AM MORE MASCULINE THEN HIM MY PENIS IS LIKE TWO FEET LONG AND FIVE FEET WIDE.

8/18/2005 4:44:44 PM

it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion in the ocean



or sumthing

8/18/2005 4:44:59 PM

i had already seen jude's p33n many times & trust me, it gets bigger

8/18/2005 4:45:26 PM

^^ but it does take a long time to cross the English Channel in a dinghy

8/18/2005 4:54:05 PM

On his defense, I'd say he may have had pool shrinkage?

8/18/2005 4:56:41 PM

^ exactly

he's probably a bit shrunk up from the cold water

and peens grow like 3 inches when they get hard, you can't judge the size from this picture

8/18/2005 5:01:20 PM

i have a big penis so im not afraid to call out jude law and say he has a little penis...i aint skurred

8/18/2005 5:04:13 PM

DO WOMEN KNOW ABOUT SHRINKAGE?

8/18/2005 5:21:25 PM

he's definately uncircumsized, but if that's what his dick looks like limp, i doubt it's all that small hard. i mean, it grows like, 2 times the size.

8/18/2005 5:42:52 PM

HOMIE IS A GROWER, NOT A SHOWER!

8/18/2005 5:44:45 PM

ahahahaha fun stuff

8/18/2005 5:48:56 PM

WHO FUCKING CARES, JUDE LAW IS A GOD

8/18/2005 5:53:24 PM

i'd do him... it's limp...it'll poke out...

8/18/2005 5:57:48 PM

Quote :

"2) anyone here or reporters who say he has a small, or anything other than a normal sized dick is likely compensating for themselves, attempting to make it sound like they are hung."

Agreed

8/18/2005 6:22:15 PM

looks like a normal flacid penis to me.

8/18/2005 6:27:54 PM

yeah, how did they determine that that shit was erect

8/18/2005 6:34:16 PM

Quote :

"looks like a normal flacid penis to me. "

btw i really wanted to see this pic

i knew i could count on you tww guys to come through

[Edited on August 18, 2005 at 7:30 PM. Reason : .]

8/18/2005 7:29:06 PM

wow, he might have a small dick

he still has more money and gets better girls than anyone on here.....and isnt that all that matters?

8/18/2005 7:52:32 PM

^^^

Quote :

"I haven't seen the pictures myself, but I'm just going to pretend that I have and say that his wiener was about 1.2" long. And I'm talking erect here, folks"

8/18/2005 8:23:05 PM

Quote :

"he still has more money and gets better girls than anyone on here.....and isnt that all that matters? "

To a high school male : yes.

8/18/2005 8:41:21 PM

eh, I'd say Carrot Top is even more disturbing: http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/003301.html

8/18/2005 8:47:41 PM

I still think he's pretty hot.

8/18/2005 9:32:38 PM

dear 2 of the 3 of the guys i've dated,
let me just say: GG!

xo
mm

8/18/2005 9:34:37 PM

I WAS IN THE POOL!! I WAS IN THE POOL!!!

8/18/2005 10:06:44 PM

Quote :

"2) anyone here or reporters who say he has a small, or anything other than a normal sized dick is likely compensating for themselves, attempting to make it sound like they are hung. "

Yeah, he could be a grower and not a shower. No big deal. Even if his thumb was bigger then his dick he'd have no problem getting more girls then all of TWW combined.

8/18/2005 10:10:00 PM

and hes got a sexy accent

chicks cream over that

8/18/2005 10:15:01 PM

8/18/2005 10:28:31 PM

8/18/2005 10:31:13 PM

it cant be true
God is not that cruel.

8/18/2005 10:34:40 PM

^perhaps you missed that whole "holocaust" thing

8/18/2005 10:36:33 PM

good point

God is mean

8/18/2005 10:37:09 PM

look, limp weiners vary in size considerably.

sometimes, i take off my clothes and do a double-take at my own piece...like "DAMN that's a lotta penis. i forgot i was packing that much! I have this sudden urge to go lasso something!"

and then sometimes i take off my clothes, look down, and just go "Fuck. What in the hell happened?"


it seems like there's no real rhyme or reason, either, other than any time you have to unfurl it for the doctor, it refuses to show up with its game face on. the other day, i had a flight physical, and this fairly attractive she-doc said "Drop your pants, Lieutenant, and let's see what you're packin'." true to form, it didn't make any great impression, and all i got out of the deal was a testicle exam and hernia check.

8/18/2005 11:43:59 PM